She took a deep breath and collect her thoughts. There were two ways this could end, either there were a simple explanation and she worried for nothing, or...

Rose stood in front of Remus bedroom door and knocked.

...or he found out and hate me now.

She paled was about to run back to her room, but Remus already opened the door.

"Can I help you, Rose?" he asked gently.

"I hope so." she said and stepped into the room.

It was hard to breath for Remus, as soon as Rose entered his room. Her scent overwhelmed him.

"Remus... we need to talk." his former student said. Remus could see how insecure she was... and caught himself finding it cute. He couldn't remember seeing Rose insecure like this. Carefully he looked at her, and saw the fear in her eyes. Now Rose wasn't the only insecure person in this room anymore. He swallowed audibly, wondering if she found out about his feelings.

"How can I help you, Rose?" he asked and hoped she wouldn't notice how nervous he was now.

"It's... it's just... I-I noticed you..." she stuttered and looking at her feet. This was totally not how Rose normally is, Remus thought.

"I what?" he asked and tried to offer her a small smile. He thought it would calm her, but unfortunatly it only made her more nervous. She looked at him, how he smiled at her.

He's so damn cute. Isn't there any law how forbit it to be so cute when you're unattainable?

"I'm sorry." she said and looked away. She felt like an idiot. Now, she wasn't even so sure he ever avoided her. Maybe she was totally wrong, and is going to make a fool of herself.

No. You will do this now. You came here to confront him, and you will do it now! What can happen? If you're wrong, you will just laugh about it. He won't be mad. Right?

"It's just... it feels like you would avoid me lately. I feel lonely." she choked out.

Remus smile dopped. It was true, he really avoided her, but only for her own good. Since Rose's third year when she came back to the pack, so to say, he feard that she would be his mate. Most often the mate was someone from the pack, and Rose was the possibility left, since Sirius wasn't his mate.

Sometimes he wasn't that upset about it. He was waiting for his mate since almost four decates. At times he wondered if his mate died during the first war. The thought was unbearable. The mate was much more than love. The mate and the werewolf were simply perfect for each other. They complete each other in every possible way.

Sirius often liked to joke about it. It was sure for him, that Rose was his mate. Remus was pretty shocked when he heard Sirius joking about it for the first time. To be honest, he feared the reaction of her godfather the most, until he heard it.
'Come on, let's be honest: You two are perfect for each other. Everybody can see it.' He said during the Christmas holidays last year.
Well, it was true. Remus and Rose had a lot in common, and sometimes they talked for hours, until one of them realized it was already one o'clock in the morning.
But Remus was only a father figure for her. But besides that, why'd she love him. He was much older, a friend of her parents and godfather, her former teacher, a werewolf, poor and a thousend other reasons. A thousend reasons why he had only one girlfriend before, who left him after she learned he was a werewolf.

It happened at her sixteenth birthday. When the clock struck twelve, Remus felt he found his mate. There was something inside him, that was pulling him towards... towards Rose. Suddenly the whole room smelled like her. Her scent was breathtaking. It was the most gorgeous smell ever, and Remus wanted to inhale it as deep as possible, and eventually for the rest of his life.
He looked at her and realized how beautiful she was. How perfect her unruly hair matches with-
Merlin, stop it! Are you a teenager? Guess not, you bloody werewolf! Remember whoms daughter she is! He thought and tried to act as normal as possible, but failed miserably.

Remus thought fast of an excuse.

"Rose, I'm really sorry for that, but I can assure you, I'm not avoiding you. Not on porpose at least. I have a lot of stuff to do for the Order and... I know we can't spend a lot of time together, but it's really only because of the order.." he said and knew he sounds like an idiot.

'I sounds like a child, who stole a lolly and want to make a stupid excuse like 'the lolly told me so'.

"But," he said. "I think I'm done with everything tomorrow, and I'll have much more time for you." he smiled brightly at her.

What. Am. I. Doing. Here?

Rose looked at him and smiled softly. He didn't knew why, but something was telling him she knew something was wrong.

Of course she knows! She and Sirius knows you best. They knows when something is wrong with you.

"Okay. I would really love to spend more time with you again, you know." she said and fumbled nervouse at her shirt.

"That's nice to hear. I enjoy your company as well, cub." he said and hugged her. Immanently the breathtaking scent tickled his nose. The combination of her warm body against his made him feel high-headed and knew he should end this embrace as soon as possible, before it becomes awkward, but it felt so good.

People who knew he was a werewolf, generally avoid to touch him. It was totally stupid but on the other side, Remus could understand it. Nobody liked to touch a dark creature, especially not, when this creature was known and able to kill people or worse, curse their lives like his own life was cursed. But Rose was different. She never hestiteded to touch or hug him, and that meant a lot to Remus.

The days goes by, and Remus hold on his promise. He tried his best to spend more time with Rose, even when it was hard sometimes. The wolf inside of him wanted the mate, and fought. It was a inner fight to calm the wolf and didn't let it take over. Merlin knows what would have happened. From time to time even the human part of Remus almost got weak and want to give in. He wanted to tell her so badly what he was feeling for her. He wanted to tell her how gorgeous she is, how much he adored her, wanted her, loved her. But of course he wouldn't let this happened, and so he left before he made something stupid. But in the end, the two spend much more time together, and enjoyed it.

"Merlin, my mom was really awesome." Rose laughed when Remus told her about James attempts to get a date with Lily.

"Yes, even when it was totally annoying for James." Remus grinned of the memories of his schooltime.

"Talking about our Hogwarts time?" Sirius entered the room.

"Yes, about James attempts to date Lily."

"Merlin, the poor guy." Sirius laughed.

"Sometimes I really wonder why he doesn't gave up on her. I mean, she wasn't exactly nice to him." Rose frowned.

"Well, Lily was something special for your father." Sirius sat down next to her. "One day, you'll find someone you'll love like you never loved anyone before. Someone you just can't get out of your head, no matter how hard you try. And even if this person will be... unkind to you, you'll love him... because he's something special. Like Lily was for James. And in the end, he was right, wasn't he?"

Remus rubbed his palms nervously.

"IF I find someone like this." Rose sigh.

"Why wouldn't YOU find someone like this?" Sirius asked astounded. "You're a handsome nice young lady, Rose. I bet a lot of guys like you."

"No, they don't like me, they like the-Girl-Who-Lived. It's a different." she said upset.

"Rose, you're young." Remus said. "And when people get you known better, they'll see how wonderful you are. And one day, there will be someone who loves you. You for being you, and not for what people talk about you."

"Right. Someday. Someone. And you'll see he's perfect for you." Sirius said and lay and arm around her shoulders. "Right, Moony?"

"Right." the other Marauder answered and looked warningly at him.

Rose sighed. If they would know...

"There is guy, I really like. Since a long time but-"

There was a lould rumble in the corridor and a moment later Mrs. Black start insulting whoever was trying to cross the hallway.

Sirius and Remus jumped from their seats and run to the source of the noise. Rose following to see who came to visit. The curtain in front of Sirius' mother portrait were already closed when she entered the hallway, seeing Tonks excusing.

"I really don't know how this could happen." the currently light brown-haired woman said.

"Well, let's go into the kitchen before the gates to hell open again." Sirius whispered, pointing at the portrait.

"So, what happened?" Remus asked concerned.

"Huh?"

"Well, why are you here? Has something happened?"

"No, no." Tonks said and smiled at the werewolf. "I was just bored and thought I come over to visit you."

"Great. I was scared because of-" Remus looked at Rose and waved about the uncomplete sentence. "...you know."

"Yes, but everything is alright." Tonks said and sat down next to Remus. "And what are you guys doing?"

"Nothing peticular." Sirius answered and shrugged.

"Good, so... can I talk to you Remus? In private?" she asked, smiling shyly at him.

"Um... of course." he said visibly uncomfortable, and the two left the room.

Sirius giggled and moved closer to Rose.

"You know, Tonks has a huge crush on Remus." he giggled to his godchild.

The young Gryffindor felt her heart break. Suddenly there wasn't enough air in the room. Her heart hurt like someone stab it with a edgeless object.

"I... I think I'll make some homework." she said, wanting to leave the room as fast as possible.

"Awww, come on. You can't leave me alone." Sirius protest, but Rose didn't care and left.

Tears burning in her eyes. Her hands shiver when she closed the door of her room. Slowly she went to her desk and tried to think clear.

Tonks was a beautiful, clever and nice person. She was young, but not as young as Rose.

And what am I? She thought bitterly. Why would he ever love me, when he can have someone like Tonks?

She knew he'll never respons her feelings, but she wasn't aware how it would be, if he loves someone else. Since almost three years he was so to say her life. She thought about him every secound. Imagine how it would be to be together with him, love him, taste him, be there for him before and after the fullmoon. She had plans to become an animagus and staying with him during the full moon nights. She was sure that she could never love someone else like this, because he seems to be all she needed. He was perfect in his own way to her. The thoughts were her escape when she have had enough of her life. She always told to herself he would never love her like she loved him, but only now she realized what that means.

But how could I be so stupid?She thought, trying to controll her emotions. Everything made sense now. She remembered when Remus started to avoid her. It was the day after her birthday. The Order had a meeting and Tonks stayed afterwards. Probably she had told Remus about her feelings. Or maybe Remus told her about his feelings. Remus was just in love, busy with his thoughts, feelings, writing and waiting for letters. If someone knows what it feels like, then it was Rose.

Tears streaming down her face and amass at her chin. She should have seen this coming, after all she was the one who knows best what a wonderful person he was. The question was, what she would do to accept this painful fate.

-A floor deeper-

"Did you think about what I told you, Remus?" Tonks asked and smiled at him suducively.

"There was nothing to think about, Dora." he answered slightly annoyed. "I told you how I feel, and it didn't changed."

"But..."

"No buts. I'm sorry Tonks, but I just don't feel the same." Remus said.

"We could try. Maybe you'll start feeling the same for me!" she begged. "You'll never know!"

"Tonks, I already found my mate, and it's not you."

"Oh really?" she snapped, arms akimbo. "And who is your mate?"

"I think it's really not your business."

"I'm just curios. You said you found your mate, but for me it looks like you're still single. You could have told me you have another one and..."

"Tonks!" Remus rised his voice. "As I said, it is not your business."

"It is! I love you as well. I want to know who she is!" she shoutet.

"Well, if you want to know: My mate doesn't know it yet, but it doesn't make me feel diffrent. I love her, and she is the only – the ONLY – person I love!" he shoutet back and left the room.

Merlin, this woman can be annoying. Opposites attract is simply a lie.

Tonks left shortly after their little...um...conversation. Sirius was still in kitchen reading the Evening Prophet when an pissed werewolf entered the room.

"And?" the animagus asked and smirked, because he knew the answer. He simply found it amusing how his little cousin tried to attract his best friened every time she saw him, and how annoyed Remus was.
Yes, Sirius Black just loved it when people were pissed and he could make fun of it. Especilly when this one was either Remus or Rose.

"How can a person be so... stubborn?" Remus didn't understand what was so incomprehensible about a 'no, I don't want to date you'.

"Well, it's Tonks..." Sirius said lazyly and start reading again. "And don't forget: You're mate is stubborn as well."

"Yes, but's she's... it's different." the werewolf said and start compairing the supper.

Sirius chuckled.

"It's not funny, Padfoot!"

"Mr. Padfoot thinks it is pretty amusing."

"Mr. Moony likes to tell Mr. Padfoot that he's a git."

"Mr. Padfoot is hurt." Sirius looked up from the papers and pout.

"Mr. Moony doesn't care." Remus said still slightly annoyed and continued making supper.

"Mr. Padfoot wants to say sorry..." he tried to soother the werewolf with his best puppy-eyes.

"Mr. Moony can't believe his ears. Does Mr. Padfoot said he wants to say sorry?" he asked in disbelieve.

"Nah. Mr. Padfoot was lying. It IS funny!" Sirius laughed.

Even Remus couldn't hold back a chuckle. Mr. Padfoot just knows how to cheer people up.

"Oh, where's Rose, by the way? She was with you in the kitchen before I left." Remus asked.

"I'm here." said a small voice from the doorframe. "I...I was finishing my potions essay."

"Are you okay? You look rather pale." Remus asked concerend.

"I'm fine." she said and sat down next to Sirius.

Sirius and Remus started to talking about something in the Prophet, but Rose didn't listen. From time to time she looked at Remus, who seems to be quite cheerful.

She closed her eyes for a second, repeating what she told herself earlier.

You should have known this would happen some day, so calm down. You love him, so be happy for him, that's what people do when they love someone. Let alone he'd never love you. You're like a surrogate niece to him, so act like that.

During the supper, Sirius and Remus asked her again, if everything was alright, and she just nodded. It was hard for her, but the mental image of what would happen when they get to know what she's feeling right now, or better said for who she has feelings since three years, was much more worse.

"So, what about some tea?" Remus asked.

"Not for me. I'm going to bed. Dumbledore wants to talk with me tomorrow... at a utterly unpleasant hour." Sirius sighed. He kissed Rose at her temple, waving at Remus and said goodnight.

"So, it's only the two of us." Remus said happily. "What about I make some tea and we go to the living room, continue the talk from earlier?"

"Okay." Rose said upset.

She really doesn't want to spend time with Remus now. She want to go to her room and think about what Sirius told her today.

Be happy for him! She reminded herself.

"And you're sure, you're alright?" Remus asked her again, entering the room, a plate with two cups and a teapot in his hands.

"I think I get ill." she said and thought it's wasn't really a lie.

"If you still feel like this tomorrow, tell me, I'll take a look at you."

"Thanks." Rose said and smiled at him.

"Remus," she said in a husky voice. "I..."

Show him that you're happy for him! You said yourself you're okay with a friendship, and you don't want to be a prat, right? So make the first step to accept the inevitable.

"I'm happy for you and Tonks." she forced herself to say this and swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

Sirius, you bast- but Remus thought were interrupted by Tonks, who entered the room.

"Here, I forgot this." she said and handed Remus a paper. "Oh, and I'll stay here over the night, if it's okay. I'm too tired to fly back home."

That was too much. Rose left the room without another word. Tears were steaming down her face when she was on the way to her room. As she wouldn't know what that means! Tonks stays over the night, with a Remus who looks rather cheerful after he talked to her earlier.

I'm a liar! I can't handle this, and I know that! I love him too much as I can share him with anyone. Merlin, what am I thinking? He doesn't love me. He isn't mine, but I can't share. There's nothing to share, you stupid idiot of a girl!

This night, Rose would cry herself to sleep.

"Tonks? I didn't heard you coming in." Remus asked, dumbfounded about the whole situation.

"Well, I'm much more than a cumpsy little girl." she looked proud at him. "But some people just don't realize it."

Not that again. Remus thought tiredly.

And another chapter is done. I'm really sorry for making Tonks so annoying. I actually really like her, but first I think this makes the story much more interesting and second, I don't think Tonks would be like 'Oh, you have someone else. No problem, that's cool.' I hope all the Tonks fans out there forgive me. ^^

Also, I want to say thanks to:

Lupinesence- Thanks for your review. :) I'm happy to make you read a Fem!Harry story. Trust me, there are some really good storys out there.

Hermione1017- Thank you!

TheBlackSeaReaper- Thank you! Yes, sadly there are only a few (good) Fem!Harry/Remus storys. But this won't be my last one. ;)

Nataly SkyPot - Gracias por la revisión. (HA! I speak some Spanish, too. ^^)