Author´s notes:
1. To all of you that are still following this story: thank you! It is important for me to know that there are still people interested in it. I really, really appreciate it.
2. This nothing to do with the chapter ahead, it is a message to all dear members of our old Proboards forum: I was told (thank you IndigoBlue) there are serious problems with the new one, and I am seriously thinking about deleting it. I would be setting up a group or page on Facebook for us to meet: it would be easier for me to manage, since I no longer have the time to run a message board. Please PM me if you would be interested in joining. Thanks!
:-)
S.
OOOOOOO
The Sound of Music Chronicles
Part II
Interlude
Chapter 06
Between the devil and the deep blue sea
ooooooo
"Living well is the best revenge."
George Herbert
ooooooo
"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."
William Blake
ooooooo
"I don't want you,
But I hate to lose you,
You've got me in between
The devil and the deep blue sea.
(…)
I should hate you,
But I guess I love you,
You've got me in between
The devil and the deep blue sea."
Harold Arlen, Ted Koehler, Between the devil and the deep blue sea (1932).
ooooooo
There would not be a meeting with Captain von Trapp that morning.
Maria was on her way to the Captain´s study when Frau Schmidt intercepted her with the news. The new orders were for her to turn around and prepare the children to go to town immediately. They had an appointment at one in one of the shops in the Getreidegasse, owned by Madame Whatshername, to buy suitable clothes for the children, and after that, they could do whatever they wished with the remainder of their time, as long, of course, as they were back home by dinner.
Oh well!
She did not know what to think of it at first. It was strangely… anticlimactic. The news hit her with an impact similar to the feeling of being surrounded by cold water when she fell from the boat. On that occasion, she had welcoming the unexpected coolness in such a hot day, only to start shivering when her body realized how cold the lake was and instantly began to tremble. She did not know what to think of it – there was a great deal of relief, but there was also a vague feeling of… disappointment. Something she could not explain, like so many things that had been happening in her life lately.
Despite the fact that she did not allow the upcoming meeting to keep her from having a good night´s sleep the night before, mentally she´d been preparing for since he announced that it would take place. Of course it wasn´t like she was being called by the high command of the Imperial Navy to discuss battle strategies, but somehow it felt that way, whenever she allowed herself to worry too much about it – something she was already learning not to let happen very often. She had tried her best to prepare herself for that meeting, even though by now she knew too well that the Captain never hesitated to use the element of surprise to his advantage whenever it suited him. Well, she intended not to allow that to happen, at least she would try to. She had even rehearsed a few phrases, had tried to guess what his arguments would be and what she could possibly to say to fight them.
Yes, there would certainly be unpredictable arguments coming from the Captain, but she would be able to handle those very easily – at least she hoped she would. Well, more than only unpredictable – unbreakable. The man´s logic was flawless, it would be impossible to fight his premises using rationality alone. No, she would have to resort to something else… It had worked the day before, there should not be any reason for her to doubt it would not happen again…
Should it?
The day before, she had the element of surprise in her favor. It had been the formidable Captain von Trapp who had been taken completely by surprise by… by everything! His children climbing trees, falling on the water, wearing the play clothes and – the icing on the cake – singing for him and his guests. Maria had to recognize that it must have been too much for his logical brain cells to handle. This morning, on the other hand, his mind would be rested after a good night´s sleep. Wouldn´t he place logic, his militaristic rules and everything else once again above his children?
Optimistic as she had always had been, it was something she would have to be prepared for. He did not seem at all like a man who made the same mistake twice. Luckily, she had a few weapons of her own. Maria might not have a great deal of experience, but she was, after all, a trained teacher, with a degree from a respectable Viennese school for girls. A progressive school, one might add. The nuns knew that and considered her skills a fine asset to the Abbey, they trusted her enough to, from time to time, put her in charge of the children of the orphanage, whenever one of them who usually taught them was unavailable. All things considered, there was a chance that every single one of his outdated ideas could be fought and won with his own weapons, rationally and very, very scientifically.
Naturally, there was one unpredictability she had never counted on – that the meeting would not take place at all. Instead, she was ordered to take the children to Salzburg to buy clothes for them.
Maria gulped.
She did not know which perspective was more daunting: to face Captain von Trapp in the light of day after his apology or going to some exclusive boutique downtown to buy clothes for seven children with ages ranging from five to sixteen-going-on-seventeen. It felt as if she was caught "between the devil and the deep blue sea"… She laughed, thinking that she could not have picked a better idiom to describe the situation.
Well, what mattered in the end was that spending a day in town with the children was a pleasant possibility to look forward to. Such occasions had been rare in the past weeks, during the Captain´s absence, and she intended to make the most of it, even if there were other things to be considered.
A beautiful sunny day in Salzburg, one quarter of it spent inside a shop with seven children…
Oh dear, dear!
Vaguely, she recalled someone telling her that in the Navy, he was such a cunning strategist that his tactics bordered on being devilish. Well, if this was true and if, by any chance this was his idea of a little revenge because of all the trouble she caused, she would have to congratulate him – but she would also have to make sure that his diabolical plans to have a little fun at her expense went up in smoke.
"Two can play the same game, Captain," she thought, mimicking his smirk. "Make no mistake, by dinnertime you shall have your seven children with two brand new complete sets of presentable clothes to wear. Yes, you will fall on your face – again."
Oh, she could only hope that whatever they had to choose from would be even worse than those straitjackets - or sailor uniforms, as he preferred to call them!
She would face whatever was ahead, brilliantly if she could possibly manage. It was a part of the reason why she had stayed after all, that was something she needed to remember always. It did not matter that buying clothes would be an entirely new experience to her. In Maria´s universe, clothes were either made or passed on from one person to another, never bought. In any case, she just knew she could handle another new experience in life just fine – it was, after all, all she had been doing for the past month or so.
Yet, there was something about those exclusive shops in the Getreidegasse she found utterly intimidating. She remembered that on the first winter after she arrived in Salzburg she had fallen in love with a scarf she´d seen on display in an elegant shop. She hardly noticed how exclusive the place was, she only saw the scarf, hand knitted in tones of lavender, pink and blue. Impulsively, she walked inside and asked how much it would cost, out of curiosity only because she didn´t have a single coin in her pocket. The woman who owned the store – well, at least she looked like she owned it – looked at her as if she were a freak of nature and practically shoved her out. Later, when she told Theresa about the humiliating experience, her friend had burst on laughing.
"You should not have asked for the price, Maria. It is simply not done! If you wanted it, you should have just bought it."
"But how on earth am I supposed to buy something if I don´t know how much it cost?" she asked, not mentioning the fact that she actually did not have any money with her that day.
"Well, actually the people who go to that shop don´t have the kind of problem, Maria," Theresa had replied, still giggling.
"So I just… buy it?"
"Yes?"
"What if I realize I cannot afford the moment I am supposed to pay? Wouldn´t that turn out to be even more humiliating than simply asking for the price in the first place?"
Theresa had rolled her eyes. Maria knew then that it was useless to continued arguing. Theresa´s world was filled with secret, unwritten rules that only those who were born to it knew about. Those appeared to be exactly the same rules that Captain von Trapp and his peers lived by. All she could do was to keep her ears open and learn as much as she could, although she already had one or two very important questions to ask Theresa as soon as she had a chance to visit the Abbey…
In the end, the shopping spree went better than Maria could have hoped for.
She had been wearing one of her new frocks that day, her least favorite one as a matter of fact, but the only one that was wearable after the succession of mishaps that ended with the fall in the lake. In all honesty, she dreaded the color – it was brown. But it was also practical and comfortable, perfectly suitable for her work. All the von Trapp children were wearing their sailor suits again – Captain´s orders, she had been told by Frau Schmidt. Clearly, he had no intention of seeing them in those clothes again.
For once, she decided not to rebel. One of the first things she heard as she was coming down for breakfast had been his boatswain whistle. It made her stop cold in the middle of the stairs and stomp one foot in indignation. It wasn´t her sign, which was quite fortunate, because if it were, she would be forced to start the day with another ugly confrontation with her employer. Well, she might just do it anyway.
"Don´t do it, Maria," a voice inside her said. "It is too early to ruin what you accomplished yesterday. He needs time, give it to him."
Sighing, she turned to the opposite direction, to join the children for breakfast. As soon as they were finished, Frau Schmidt had told her the new orders.
Madame Fournier´s shop in Salzburg´s main street specialized in fine children´s clothes, and, perhaps for the reason, it was not quite as intimidating. Quite the contrary, it was quite beautiful, and the woman seemed to have done a great effort to make it attractive to children as well, not only their parents. The girl´s session was decorated as a doll house, in every imaginable shade of pink; the boy´s section was like the interior of a pirate ship, plank and all. Needless to say that the children loved it, especially the girls.
The owner was an elderly Frenchwoman, as thin as a rake and with a very strong accent she had ever heard, which was hard to understand at first. Maria was greeted with extreme politeness and formality, and relaxed as soon as she heard that the Captain had already given her plenty of specific instructions about what should be bought, so all she had to do was to let her the woman do her job, help the children make their choices and make sure that they behaved.
They did try to rebel, to act out a first. It was nothing that Maria would not have expected, they were still a bit wary and suspicious of their new governess and they wasted no opportunity to try to intimidate her. However, she soon defeated her with her particular brand of firm but kind approach to disciplining them, not to mention the promise that, as soon as they finished their task, she would take them all ice creams and a stroll in the Mirabell Gardens, their favorite place in Salzburg.
The one and only downside of the whole experience was Liesl´s sullenness, which began the moment the sixteen realized that she would not find clothes that she considered appropriate for her age in Madame Fournier´s store. Maria had to use the best diplomatic skills she hardly knew she possessed, but she managed to convince her that they would speak to the Captain about the subject, but that she still had to choose two frocks, otherwise she would have nothing to wear for the next few days. Liesl finally agreed and very reluctantly made her choices, but she still sulked throughout most of the rest of the day.
Perhaps Liesl´s moodiness was one of the reasons why the incident by the Pegasus Fountain at the Mirabell Gardens would have some unexpected consequences in the near future. Of course it was impossible to know when it all happened. It was all quite innocent and it did not disturb her. Actually, she would not have given the matter another thought ever again. If Liesl wasn´t so sullen, there was a chance she would never give it any importance of all, and would not provoke her brothers and sisters.
At any rate, Liesl did not waste the precious opportunity when it presented itself – a chance for her to have a little revenge upon the poor governess who insisted that she bought frocks that she believed were too childlike for her.
"Look – Fräulein Maria has an admirer," the girl said giggling.
"I have a what?" Maria asked, frowning.
"There, by the fountain. He´s been following us – oh well, you, Fräulein, for quite a while now, ever since we crossed the bridge," Liesl informed with a wink. "I noticed!"
It was nothing but sheer curiosity that made Maria turn her head to give her so-called admirer a critical look. When she recognized him, she broke into a genuine smile.
"Oh, him!" She laughed. "He is not an admirer, he is just an old friend. His name is Werner Lueger, and his mother cooks for the orphanage and sometimes for the convent when the nuns are too busy. He plays the violin beautifully, and he… What?" she asked when the Liesl looked at her, distrustfully. Louisa had already joined her and was staring at her in the same manner.
Maria stole a quick glance at Werner, who now seemed to be busy staring at his own shoes and whistling, pretending that he had not seen her. It was so very strange, the boy had never behaved in that peculiar manner before.
Maria cleared her throat.
"Ooohhh, I am sure it is you Werner is looking at, Liesl, not me!"
It made perfect sense. The sixteen year old was quite a striking beauty with her porcelain skin and large blue eyes. Understandably, she was just beginning to catch the attention not only of telegram deliverers but of every young man who walked past her, titled or not. It would more than reasonable to assume that it was Liesl who was drawing some attention in the streets of Salzburg, not her, Maria.
"In fact, he is only a bit older than you are, his mother told me he turned eighteen last winter" she added, when she noticed that Liesl was not so easily convinced. In fact, she was shaking her head, vigorously.
"No, Fräulein, I am quite sure it is you!"
"Oh dear!" she moaned. If she was just another ordinary girl, she might be even flattered, perhaps a little amused, but as a future nun, she was most definitely not. She did not know what to think of it.
"I don´t like him, he is ugly," little Gretl interrupted.
"You are not going to marry him, are you?" Kurt asked suspiciously.
Maria rolled her eyes. "I am not going to marry anyone, children."
"Never?"
"Never ever. I´m going to be a nun, remember? Nuns do not marry, there are no exceptions to this rule," she clarified.
"I hope you will not marry him anyway, because he is quite… hideous. He looks like a broomstick," little Marta said while her younger sister giggled. Perhaps Maria should say to her that being ugly was not an acceptable reason not to like someone, but she had to admit that Marta had described Werner perfectly. Yes, as lanky and scrawny as he was, he was not ridiculously attractive like the eccentric naval captain who was also her employer, but…
How ridiculously silly! Captain von Trapp was one of a kind, and she should not dedicate herself to comparing every other man she saw with him! There she was thinking the most inappropriate thoughts about the man that was her employer again!
But before Maria could say anything else to defend poor Werner, Friedrich stepped in front of her, protectively.
"He still stares. Is he bothering you, Fräulein? Because if he is, I can certainly… do… do something about it."
"Ooh?"
"Father said you are under his protection while you are our governess, and since he is… oh well, not here, you are under – ehm - under my protection." Maria´s eyebrows raised involuntarily, her jaw dropped slightly. "I´ll break every bone in his body if I have to," the boy said between clenched teeth, sounding and looking so much like his father that Maria had to smile. She could almost hear the Captain uttering those same words, and there was a curious little fluttering inside when she thought of how he would sound.
"I… I…" the boy stopped speaking. Liesl giggled, Brigitta began rolling her eyes in exasperation, Kurt started laughing, clutching his stomach and Louisa made a mocking comment about Friedrich considering himself "the man of the house"in his father´s absence. Friedrich visibly resented their reaction, and Maria could swear there were tears forming in his eyes.
"Good, that is all I needed now. How do I get out this one without hurting the poor boy´s pride? On the other hand, it would not do any good for me, to be the reason why Friedrich von Trapp got into a fistfight in one of the most famous gardens in Salzburg! I know Werner has quite a temper himself and he simply would not be silent if provoked. The Captain would have his hands around my neck before I could even say… Captain! Even the Reverend Mother would be dismayed. The nuns are all so fond of Werner and his mother, Frau Lueger. Sister Berthe would simply throw me out of the window!"
"Ahem…" Maria chose her words carefully. "That is very chivalrous of you, Friedrich. Yes, you are the man in the house in your father absence, and you are doing a marvelous job so far, but there is no need to… break any of Herr Lueger´s bones. He means no harm. I am sure he is only feeling a bit shy to come up and say hello to me. Look!"
That being said, she turned around to face Werner, waving her arms up and down in her typical, exuberant manner.
"Werner! Here! Hallo!"
The result was rather… astonishing, so much that her jaw dropped in amazement.
She half expected Werner to smile and wave back in the same boisterous manner, then come to shake her hand, as he usually did. Next, she would inquire about his mother, and ask him how he was doing with his musical studies. But none of that happened. Instead of reacting the way she had expected him to, the boy´s face became beet red as if he indeed had been caught doing something wrong. He simply lowered his head and walked away briskly, without looking back. She was never sure what caused it, so she concluded that he was intimidated by the seven children from ages five to sixteen glaring at him.
"How rude!" Brigitta exclaimed.
Maria could not help but to agree with her. Her friendly look to the young man immediately turned into a hurtful glare, accompanied by an ugly frown.
"That scowl – you stole it from father, didn´t you?" Louisa asked, mischievously.
"As a matter of fact, I stole it from Sister Berthe. Your father should take a few lessons with her," Maria replied solemnly, and the incident ended in laughter, while she made a little mental note to give Werner a piece of her mind the next time she met him, saying exactly what she thought of his appalling display of bad manners in front of children of such a distinguished family.
"I told you so," Liesl said smugly. "He was following you. He would not have scurried like that if he was not!"
"Mmm," Maria frowned – then she shrugged and started leading them to the bus stop. It was time to go back home.
Later, she would consider the fact that she had missed the precious opportunity to ask the children not to tell their father about the incident. The request had been at the tip of her tongue, when she realized that they would certainly demand to know why she did not want the Captain to know.
Her motives were very simple, however. She was going to be a nun, for heaven´s sake! What would he think if he as much as suspected that she had male admirers following her on the streets of Salzburg? Although her mind still refused to accept the idea of Werner Lueger thinking about her like that, she was certain that Liesl would be able to convince the Captain otherwise. And if Liesl convinced the Captain, the Captain would convince the nuns, and she would be in much more trouble than she ever asked for.
No, she did not need yet another reason for her employer to dislike her, or for the nuns to keep arguing about her suitability for the religious life.
Silence was the best thing to do. Eventually, she would heva to get used to it, since it was one of the vows she would soon be taking – why not try to start now? She would not mention the incident again. It wouldn´t be so hard, she had too many reasons to keep her running mouth under control. She would simply forget about it, and certainly the children would too.
At least, that was what she hoped would happen!