A Day in the Life
AN: Dedicated to the graduate: Insomniac Owl.
Check out her fics: they are immense.
December 26th
9:15am
Woke up this morning in a haze of Zen-like calm. This in itself was odd, as for the past few months I was vacillating between rage, shame, apathetic resignation and despair. Stranger still, I remembered everything from last night and was not at all shocked to see the boss lying next to me, still asleep. It was rather pleasant, actually, and I sat up and watched him for a moment, shaking my head at the thought of how much of a persistent moron he is before I decided I needed to go for a pee. Carefully, I stole out of bed so as not to wake the boss, removed the improvised Kakuzu-proof trip-wire and chair from the door and headed out along the corridor to the nearest bathroom. Halfway there, I realised it was actually quite early in the morning – and since no one else appeared to be wandering around upstairs, I decided it would be a good time to nip in for a quick shower before the rush. Whistling a cheerful ditty, I made a short detour to the towel cupboard and picked one up before heading back on course to the bathroom.
My shower was going wonderfully well until the realisation hit me that I would have to somehow find the words to tell my brother the boss and I were back together. I almost had a mini panic-attack, but managed to remind myself that my brother had said to me that it was my own decision to make. He said it, therefore, he would have to live by it no matter how much it pained him. Consoling myself with that thought, I towelled dry, got dressed and headed downstairs to face the music.
And do you know what? The selfish bastard wasn't even in!
I walked into the kitchen, fully expecting to have to dedicate most of the morning to justifying my motives to my brother and then the rest of the day soothing him, placating him and trying to find ways of making it up to him. Instead I found Sasori, Deidara and Zetsu sitting nursing mugs of coffee, who informed me after I enquired into my brother's whereabouts that he had "popped out to pick up some milk and a couple of the daily rags," and that "he should be back soon."
How dare he? There I was, all psyched up and ready to roll – and he goes out for milk? Milk! Why didn't he put extra milk on the goddamned shopping list when we were out all morning on the 24th? And surely newspapers can wait? It's the digital age, for god's sake! He could've checked the bloody internet! Now I'm going to have to wait in suspense and re-summon all my courage, which has since pretty much dissipated.
Cretin...
LATER:
The boss is still sleeping and Itachi has not yet returned. I asked Zetsu how long he'd been gone and he said it's been an hour and a half already. What on earth is he doing?
LATER:
10:24am
Itachi is back from whatever it was he had gone to do. He said he had dropped off a Christmas card for an old friend while he was out (why he couldn't have sent it in the mail in the first place mystifies me.) My brother informed me of this in an uncharacteristically fractious manner when I questioned him in attempt to make friendly small-talk before the big reveal. I must confess, his tone rather took me aback, and when I asked him if he was alright, he snapped, "I am fine, Sasuke," before he slammed the milk down on the counter and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the rest of us in a state of open-mouthed disbelief. The disbelief was merited, as it is rare my brother shows any emotion at all.
"What's up with him?" Zetsu asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I know, right?" Deidara exclaimed. "First he's all like, 'Hey, sure guys, I'll pick up some milk, I was gonna head out anyway,' and when he comes back he's all like, 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—!!'
Across the table, Sasori looked thoughtful.
"Maybe someone cut him off on the freeway? He hates that." Then a flicker of a malicious smile passed over his lips as he turned to me and added, "Or maybe a certain someone has gotten back together with Oro? That's the only thing I can think of that Itachi would hate more..."
Everyone turned to look at me, and I felt myself going red. It gave me away instantly. (Seriously? What is the point of blushing? I really need to talk to the boss about having him invent some drug that stops you from doing it. I am not the only one who would appreciate it.)
A slow, sly smile crept across Deidara's face and he looked at me sidelong and said, "You have, haven't you?"
Burning with shame, I went instantly on the defence.
"Yeah, I have actually – but Itachi doesn't know yet! I haven't told him, so it's nothing to do with us!"
"Oh my god, I cannot believe you..."
"No, I can't believe you, you fucking hypocrite!" I bit back. "You were the one telling me how miserable he was and dropping massively huge – oh you should get back together – hints on Christmas Eve!"
"No, all I said was that you should talk to him. I never said anything about making up. I'm afraid you did that on your own, Saucy-kins."
"Yeah, I know I did," I said curtly. "But you were dropping hints – don't deny it – so shut the hell up with the 'Oh I cannot believe you' bullshit. I'm getting really tired of your crap, Deidara."
"Well someone's defensive," he replied sniffily, looking at his nails.
"Damn right, I'm defensive!" I fumed, feeling very hard done by all of a sudden. "I'm sick of people questioning my damned judgement and thinking that they know more about what goes on in my life than I do. So stop it, okay?"
"I'm not questioning your judgement. I'm expressing an opinion. I'm allowed to express an opinion."
"Yeah? Well you'd best express it when I'm not in the room, otherwise I'm liable to punch you in the face, got it? In fact, here," I added, pushing back my chair with a rude squawk, "I'm going back upstairs, so you can express your damned opinion as much as you like. Knock yourself out, Deidara."
With that, I turned and followed my brother's earlier example by storming out of the kitchen and heading upstairs in a flurry of sudden ire. The last words I heard before I was out of earshot were Sasori's.
"So that's two pissed off Uchihas. You think we should phone Madara and make it a hat-trick?"
Idiots. I hate people, sometimes, I really do...
LATER:
11:30am
The boss is still not awake (yesterday's antics must've really taken it out of him) and my brother is in the kitchen washing up with more force, volume and purpose than I consider strictly necessary. His bad mood, very briefly lifted, seems to have returned and I am not sure what is the cause, since I'm certain he does not yet know about the boss and I. I'm not going to lie to you – I'm dreading telling him now. The rest of Akatsuki are all awake and here in the living room, pouring over the 'Most Influential List' in the copy of Forbes Itachi purchased on his two-hour milk run – and marvelling at the fact that I am in it.
Yes, I know. I have officially made this year's 'Most Influential List'. I cannot quite believe it myself.
After my quarrel with Deidara, I went back to bed for awhile and had an aggressive nap. By the time I woke up, I was feeling a little better – the process helped along immensely by the boss who reminded me in between sleepy kisses that Deidara is a massive bell-end and that I should pay no heed to his shit-stirring antics before he fell asleep again. Of course the boss said all that in a much more eloquent manner, but I'm calling a spade a spade. Because Deidara is a fucking spade. Or a bell-end. Whichever works best.
Eventually, since the boss showed no signs of stirring, I peeled myself from the mattress and trudged downstairs. I heard voices in the kitchen and automatically swerved to avoid it, since I did not wish to become embroiled in another argument. However, as I was passing the living-room, I heard my brother calling my name.
"Sasuke, is that you?"
I rolled my eyes and sighed.
"It's me. What do you want, Itachi? I'm not coming in if you're going to bite my head off."
"Come here a moment..."
Since I was all too aware I would still have to suck up to him, I grudgingly did as he asked so as not to further piss him off.
When I walked into the living-room, he spotted me immediately. It appeared Itachi had bought a copy of Forbes on the way back from his epic, two-hour milk-run. Smiling slightly, he presented me with the offending publication, saying, "There's something in here that might interest you, Sasuke."
Now, every year on the day after Christmas, Forbes magazine publishes its 'Most Influential' list. It is essentially a business magazine, obsessed with money, power and influence. Its motto? 'The Capitalist Tool'. Uncle Madara made the list again last year for the first time in many – make of that what you will. I jest in part, though, since the boss has made the list six years in a row and Sarutobi has been a regular feature for god knows how long. To get your name on that list, you have to be either obscenely rich or obscenely powerful. As far as I was concerned (and still concerned), I am neither. Imagine my surprise, therefore, when I turned to page twenty-seven and found a section headed, "Uchiha Sasuke."
Rational thought jammed to a halt. My jaw dropped and the only thing I was capable of doing was gawping dumbly at the page. My reaction seemed to amuse my brother.
"Read it, Sasuke," he said encouragingly. "Do not worry. It is nothing bad."
Taking a deep breath, I sat down on the sofa next to Itachi and began to read. The article itself wasn't too long, so I'll type it out here. Really, it was mostly pictures, and the reason for that will become very clear.
----
Forbes 'Most Influential List'
Uchiha Sasuke
Power Rank: #33
Pay: Undisclosed
Category: Business
"Readers may be wondering why Forbes have chosen to include this young man on this year's Most Influential when the rest of our pages are devoted to the super-rich, the maverick tycoons, and the political heavyweights. Forbes have nominated Uchiha Sasuke because, of course, in the world of business there is much more to power than the possession of vast amounts of wealth. The secret to true power lies in the networks you possess and in the influence you have over others. In this, Uchiha Sasuke is a master, and has earned the position of number thirty-three in our top fifty.
Uchiha Sasuke and his talented brother Itachi (of the Akatsuki Group, see Uchiha Madara, #9) came into money early on in life after the tragic deaths of their parents, Fugaku and Mikoto, in a car accident. As Chief Constable of Konoha City District, Fugaku possessed a very generous life insurance policy, which enabled Sasuke and his brother to live in their own home under supervision of a guardian and attend the prestigious Konoha Academy.
An exceptionally bright boy, Konoha Academy was kind to Uchiha Sasuke, and like his brother, he was class valedictorian. His place in the competitive Business School of the University of Konoha was assured, and his intelligence, charm and natural talent saw him graduate, once again, at the top of his class with a first-class degree. Upon being released from academic life, it was no surprise that Uchiha Sasuke was quickly snapped up by Sarutobi Hiruzen (see #1) of Konoha-Suna Corp. and placed in Sales and Marketing under the leadership of the able Hatake Kakashi.
Uchiha's precocity within Konoha-Suna Corp. became quickly apparent, and it was not surprising he caught the eye of the gifted maverick and mastermind behind Otogakure Enterprises. After a hard battle, Orochimaru (see #2) managed to convince the young man to join his ranks. Orochimaru's efforts appeared to have paid off, as the pair have since become inseparable in both their private and professional lives, incurring not a little scandal along the way. Despite what is reputed to be a rather volatile relationship (if rumours are indeed true), Orochimaru and Uchiha Sasuke continue to work as a very effective team, their combined efforts having seen the profits of Otogakure Enterprises rise just shy of one-hundred percent in the last financial year.
The real reason Uchiha Sasuke makes this year's Most Influential, however, is not merely to do with his professional acumen, his glittering CV, his pay check or his political clout. It is his Kevin Bacon status. For those unfamiliar with the old internet game "6 Degrees from Kevin Bacon", the premise is simple: it is possible for any actor to be connected in some shape or form, within six degrees, to Kevin Bacon. Uchiha Sasuke is the Kevin Bacon of the business world. He has contacts with the top executives of Konoha-Suna Corp and regularly mingles with top politicians and nobility as a part of Otogakure Enterprises' drive to sell their more advanced technology to various countries. He has connections with the fast ascending Akatsuki Group, to the art world, to senior judges and members of the justice system both in Konohagakure and Sunagakure, and with the media in Mikatsuhikata TV.
He is the confidant of the rich and powerful and is at the hub of so many networks. Uchiha Sasuke's influence in the business world is surprisingly far-reaching, and that is why he merits the #33 spot in this year's Most Influential."
----
Dotted about the page are various photographs of me with various people, in which I am apparently being influential. Who knew? The first one is of me sitting with the Konoha Daimyo in the boss's formal reception room back in Otogakure, laughing with him at some shared joke. There is another of me (again in the formal reception room) with the Otogakure Daimyo, this one slightly more incriminating as I appear to be whispering something in his ear. The others are less work-related, which, I suppose, heightens the feeling of 'influence' as I obviously know these people on a personal basis. There is one of me chatting casually to Sarutobi at Asuma's wedding, and another in which I am standing outside Sunagakure General Hospital talking to Chiyo and Gaara in only a t-shirt and shorts whilst looking very tired and stressed (clearly a pap-shot, taken shortly after the boss almost became a cropper through idiocy-induced heatstroke.)
Three were obviously snapped at the evil Product of the Year awards (which I wish to forget entirely), the first of this series seeing me at the Akatsuki table, laughing my head off and looking a bit drunk; the second seeing me leaning over the back of my chair – considerably more drunk – talking to Zabuza and Haku. The last of the Product of the Year series depicts me seemingly listening with rapt attention as shite pours fourth from the mouth of my lying wanker of an uncle. This must have been the few seconds before I splashed a whole glass of wine over his fat, deserving face.
The last of the photographs, I actually rather like – so much so that I might have to cut it out and keep it. I have no idea when it would have been taken – most probably at one of the many random press conferences the boss uses to lie and tell people he and Kabuto are not doing anything illegal down in the labs. The photographer has managed to capture us in a fleeting moment of intimacy (we never act up at work – ever). It's nothing much – the boss simply resting his hand upon my lower back and whispering something to me that made me smile as we walked out of the room – but it's strangely appealing.
I am not sure why Forbes see this as 'influence'. All these people just happen to be people I know – most of them, in fact, through Itachi or the boss. They're family, family friends, or friends of friends, or people I have to deal with at work because it's my job! It's not like I deliberately set out to bag myself a sinisterly wide-reaching and comprehensive network of powerful individuals.
It's fair to say my inclusion on the list came as something of a shock to me, which goes some way to explain the sudden bout of uncharacteristic modesty that came over me.
"Itachi..." I began, disbelieving. "Seriously, this must be some sort of joke or something because there's no way... there's just no way..."
"Why do you say that, Sasuke?" my brother replied, frowning slightly. "Do you not think you deserve recognition for your talents?"
I turned to Itachi, my face a perfect picture of anguish. In my state of shock, I began to gabble.
"Itachi... seriously... I don't know what this is all about! You should be here on this list. You're better than me – you've always been better than me. This is just... just totally wrong! I haven't done anything to deserve it!"
There was a pause. My brother's frown deepened and he tilted his head to the side, looking at me with a degree of concern before saying, "What do you mean, 'I am better than you'?"
Flustered, and slightly irritated that my brother wanted me to spell it out for him, I had to reach for words that expressed something I had known for a very long time.
"Shut up, Itachi," I said. "Of course you're better than me! You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. You're smarter, more talented, possibly better-looking – though I'd dispute that – have achieved everything I have achieved and more—"
"Sasuke," he admonished, with such force it stopped me in my tracks, "that is enough. I do not want to hear another word!" Then he paused for a prolonged moment in which he looked at me as though I had offended him irretrievably, before he went on.
"You are my little brother, Sasuke, and I am proud of you," he said. "I apologise if my words seem harsh, but it irritates me to hear you belittle yourself when you have achieved so much, and have even more to be thankful for. Your opinion of me is misplaced. I am not the man you think I am, and for all my achievements, Sasuke... I am unhappy, I am torn. I cannot count the times I have risen in the morning, thought of you and coveted your life." He paused for a moment, as if to recover himself, before adding, "Behold the great Uchiha Itachi – jealous of his younger brother. Pathetic, is it not?
There was another pause, in which I had to take the time to recover myself. I had never before heard my brother confess any sort of weakness, never heard him mention unhappiness or worry or uncertainty in any aspect of his life. It troubled me.
"Itachi, you're not pathetic," I said, meaning it. I know my brother better than anyone, and his words were genuine, coming from a place of hurt and desperate unhappiness. Suddenly, I felt deeply worried and sorry for him.
"Look, if you're that unhappy at Akatsuki, then quit," I said, concernedly. "Just hand in your notice to uncle Madara, leave, and don't look back. If you're worried about repercussions or contracts or lawsuits, then you can cross those bridges when you come to them. I don't want to get a call three months down the line saying you've jumped off a cliff or anything." I laughed but I was only half-joking.
Squeezing his eyes shut, my brother turned his head skyward and sighed. Then he opened them again and turned to me with just a hint of a rueful smile and said, "I cannot."
"Itachi, don't be an idiot—!"
"I cannot."
"W-What? Why? Is that all you can say? Look, if it's something to do with Madara then screw him! I don't care what you've done, I just want you out of there—!"
I hardly had time to get the words out before Itachi smiled the most genuine smile I've seen from him in a long time, leaned over, reached out and flicked my forehead like he always used to do when we were kids. It stung, like it always did, and I complained and called him names, like I always did. Itachi laughed, like always, and the sight of a brief glimmer of happiness sobered me.
"Itachi, seriously," I said rubbing my forehead. "I'm worried about you. You'll tell me if anything's bothering you, right?"
To my disappointment, Itachi held a finger to his lips and shushed me.
Like always...
"Do not worry about me," he said, as he stood up and made his way through to the kitchen. "You are not supposed to worry about me. That is what big brothers are for. Okay?"
I nodded miserably.
"Good. Now I have to get on with the washing-up. Let me know when Orochimaru wakes, for I should like to have a word with him about his reckless and inconsiderate behaviour last night."
He turned and walked out of the living-room without another word, leaving me alone on the sofa feeling confused, worried, yet... strangely happy. I know it seems incongruous to feel all those particular emotions at the same time – but right then and there, I really did. I was concerned for Itachi, obviously. He is keeping secrets from me – I am not stupid – but I'm wondering if it's even worth it bottling them up like that? He knows that I'll always be there for him – that's what little brothers are for – and that no matter what he's done, I'll support him. Itachi does tend to be very hard on himself, and I wonder if he's blown what I suppose is some sort of misdemeanour completely out of proportion? Knowing him, I'd say it's likely. I just wish he would tell me though, because Akatsuki is going to drive him mad.
I did not have much time to think on the whole Itachi issue, because not long after the others began to filter in, and I had to turn my mind to formulating cutting ripostes as they each in turn noticed the Forbes article and expressed their outraged disbelief at my inclusion – even Hidan, who has an absolute cheek! A freshly-laid, neatly-coiled dog turd is more useful than him.
If I'm being completely honest, despite Itachi's encouraging words, I still do not believe I deserve a place on that list – but there's no way in hell I'm going to let that bunch of reprobates know it.
God, I hope the boss wakes up soon.
I wonder what he'll think of me being on the list? I hope he doesn't take it badly. I don't think he will. He'll probably think it's funny...
LATER:
9:10pm
As of this moment, I am on a plane heading back to Otogakure with the boss and Suigetsu (yes Suigetsu is here. I will get to that later.) It was best for me, for all of us, to get away and give Itachi some breathing space. Suffice it to say, there was a great deal of drama this afternoon, and my brother did not come out of it well. I really do think there is something wrong with him. I haven't seen him in such a state since we were kids and the doctors still hadn't diagnosed him. He developed OCPD early on in life, and he used to have horrendous temper tantrums when things didn't go exactly the way he wanted them to (I only vaguely remember the outbursts, since my mum used to take me outside when Itachi kicked off.) After our parents died, he was taken to see a shrink who diagnosed him and got him help, and ever since then he's been a lot better.
Today, though...
It was scary.
I hope he's alright.
LATER:
10:02pm
Tsunade and Dan's unannounced arrival at my brother's door just before lunch was not the catalyst for the huge drama that later unfolded, but it definitely got the ball rolling.
Kisame and Itachi were in the kitchen making up everyone's orders for left-over turkey sandwiches (some wanted cranberry sauce, some without, some wanted buttered bread, some didn't, some wanted pickle, and Zetsu wanted salad – it was needlessly complex.) The rest of us were lounging around in the living-room, watching Babe, the Sheep Pig on TV. Right at the end of the movie, the bit that always makes me tear up, when a shaft of glittering, heavenly sunlight parts the clouds and Farmer Hogget says: "That'll do, Pig. That'll do," there was a hammering at the door. It was insistent, and had the sound of urgency to it.
"Fucking hell, who is it now?" Hidan said.
"We went through all this yesterday," Kakuzu snapped, "and the result is upstairs drooling on a duvet. Seriously— Right that is it! Get the door will you, Sasuke?"
"Why me?"
"Because it's Itachi's house and you're next of kin. Plus, it's probably for you anyway. Sounds like trouble, and you and trouble are like fat kids and cake."
So I was sent to answer the door, grumbling and muttering mutinously to myself the whole way. The person, whoever it was, was still banging on the door. Frowning, I threw it open, intent on giving the disturber of our peace a mouthful. Instead, I came face-to-face with a very, very angry Tsunade. I don't know if I have ever discussed this before on my journal, but she can be almost as frightening as the boss when she loses it – she just doesn't have his malicious streak. Just behind her, peering over her shoulder with a nervous grin, was Dan. He waved at me and said hi.
As I stood there gaping, she wasted no time.
"Where is he?" she demanded. Fire blazed in her eyes.
"Wh- where's who?" I said, genuinely afraid and not knowing what she meant.
"Orochimaru!" she snarled, pushing past me. Her eyes darted from left to right and when she spotted the stairs, she gestured roughly at them and snapped, "Is he up there?"
"Errr... yeah, but he's still asleep, so I wouldn't—"
I hadn't even finished spluttering out my sentence and she was already charging halfway up the stairs. Each stomp made the balusters tremble, and were as footfalls of doom, heralding woe. Tsunade was clenching and unclenching her fists and I swear steam was coming out of her nostrils. Suddenly fretting, I ran upstairs after her. Dan saw himself in.
"Tsunade, if this is about not calling you to tell you to tell you he was okay—"
"Shut up!" she barked. "Which room?"
"Errr... th-that one there. Second on the right. Umm... Tsunade? What are you going to do?"
It wasn't long before I found out. Stopping square in front of my bedroom door, she didn't even have the courtesy to roar out a warning before she kicked it open and charged in like an angry rhino. Spotting the boss immediately, who had woken with a start when the door battered against the wall, her cheeks flared red and she headed straight for him, smacking a fist meaningfully into her palm.
The boss was obviously still sleepy, and probably thought he was dreaming at first, as he sat up, rubbed his eyes and peered at her.
"Tsunade?" he said, puzzled.
He probably wished it had been a dream.
"OROCHIMARU!" she thundered, stopping at the end of the bed and forcing her hands on her hips. Her body language was extremely threatening. Even though he was very tired, the boss still has no excuse for not having picked up on it.
"Tsunade, what—?" the boss managed to croak out, before Tsunade grabbed the bottom of the quilt and ripped it off the bed.
"YOU STUPID, STUPID MAN!" she roared, as she vaulted onto the mattress and started smacking the boss across the head, punctuating her speech with vicious slaps. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, RUNNING OFF TO CHASE THAT BOY HALFWAY ACROSS THE CONTINENT – AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE COURTESY TO LET US KNOW WHERE YOU WERE GOING! SARUTOBI IS WORRIED SICK! I AM WORRIED SICK! YOU LEFT THAT POOR KID KIMIMARO IN HYSTERICS, AND WE EVEN HAD TO PHONE JIRAIYA AND KIKU AND NOW THEY'RE LOOKING FOR YOU!"
The boss, safe to say, had woken up at that point, and was trying frantically to get away from Tsunade, who had worked herself up into a frenzy and was basically just beating him. As for me, I was standing at the door, laughing my head off. I know that maybe I should have helped him, but it was just too much. I may also have been harbouring lingering feelings of resentment towards him for all the shit he put me through, which is fair enough really considering how bad it was. And besides, it's kind of hard to fend someone off when you can't see because of the copious tears of laugher streaming from your eyes.
"TSU... TSU- TSUNADE, GET OFF ME, YOU MAD BITCH!"
"MAD BITCH?" Tsunade howled as she gripped his arm like a vice and gave the boss the mother of all Chinese burns. "YOU'RE THE MAD ONE! RUNNING AWAY WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE AND STANDING OUT IN THE FREEZING RAIN LIKE THAT FOR HOURS! AND I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT, DON'T TRY TO DENY IT! KABUTO TOLD ME!"
"WHAT?" the boss yelled angrily, as he blocked another of Tsunade's blistering red-hander slaps. "DON'T BE OBTUSE! HOW WOULD HE KNOW?"
"SASUKE TOLD HIM ON THE PHONE!" Tsunade shrieked, finishing the boss by planting a ringing blow on the side of the head.
The boss staggered and tumbled onto the mattress. He looked at me accusingly for a moment, but was forced to turn his attention back to his opponent as she came at him again, fists flying. Scrabbling for purchase on the carpet, he bolted for the door, almost tripping over Mallory as the cat came round the corner looking for his litter-box. Faced with two charging humans coming straight at him, Mallory yowled in fright and shot in the opposite direction. The boss sprinted along the corridor, Tsunade in hot pursuit.
Almost doubled over laughing, followed them downstairs. The boss tried to escape through the front door, but he fumbled the chain and couldn't get it off in time. Tsunade's fist missed him by inches, and he spun round and dashed for the living room. They both hit it at a run, surprising the assembled Akatsuki members who seemed to have been in the middle of watching Jingle All the Way.
"Hey look who's finally up!" Deidara's voice sang, before the boss leapt clear over the coffee table, knocking over a cup of tea and the stack of turkey sandwiches. Tsunade stormed in after, hot on his heels. There was an explosion of chaos, confusion and raised voices. Dan was over at the glass cabinets, admiring my brother's ornaments, quite the thing.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?" Hidan yelled. "OW, WATCH IT!"
"MY TEA!" Zetsu cried.
"MY SANDWICHES!" Kakuzu shouted.
"MY FOOT!" Kisame hollered.
"FIVE-SECOND RULE!" Deidara called out. "WE CAN STILL EAT THEM, IT'S ALRIGHT—! ORO, YOU MORON, STOP STANDING ON THEM!"
There was a clatter and a plop in the kitchen. The sound of cutlery dropping onto the counter and a saucepan falling in the sink – sounds that could be associated with only one person. A dish towel slung over his shoulder, my brother appeared, wearing a faint frown and looking puzzled by all the commotion.
He only had time to ask, "What's going on?" before he stepped out of the doorway and was bounced aside by Tsunade's massive knockers.
"Orochimaru, get over here so I can talk to you! I am not going to shout over a table at you!" Tsunade yelled angrily.
It was hilarious. At one side of the coffee table stood Tsunade, her fingers twitching as though she would have loved nothing more than to reach over and strangle the boss. At the other stood the object of her ire, still in Itachi's grey hoodie and sweatpants, minus make-up and with his hair all a-tangle. For a few moments, they attempted to chase each other round the table, squishing sandwiches into my brother's new carpet, before their age and unfitness caught up with them. By this time, the rest of Akatsuki were helpless with laughter.
"Go on, Tsunade!"
"Kick him in the nuts!"
"Twist his nipples until he squeals!"
The circus, however, was not to last, as Dan had kindly helped my brother to his feet – and Itachi was not happy. He was obviously fuming and was exerting quite a lot of effort on maintaining his composure.
"What—" he began, through gritted teeth, "—are you doing in my home, Tsunade? I do not recall having extended the invitation!"
Tsunade, also through gritted teeth, replied with an unnecessary degree of disdain.
"I apologise, Itachi, for the intrusion but I wished to teach my idiot friend a lesson he won't forget in a hurry. Didn't think you'd mind, since you two aren't exactly best friends."
"And why would you wish to teach Orochimaru a lesson? What has he done to you that warrants this frankly thoughtless behaviour?"
"Nothing!" the boss shouted, finally joining in. "I forgot to phone her, apparently, to tell her I was alright – not that I ever got the message..."
"DON'T LIE!" Tsunade bellowed, hurling an accusing finger at the boss, forgetting all about my brother. "YOU WERE SO BUSY DROOLING OVER SASUKE YOU FORGOT ALL ABOUT POOR SARUTOBI AND EVERYONE ELSE WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME—!"
"I AM NOT LYING, YOU FAT, HAM-FISTED TROLL!" the boss screamed. "SASUKE-KUN DID NOT MENTION ANY PHONE CALLS—!"
"You leave my brother out of this!" Itachi said warningly, taking a step forward.
The boss threw his hands in the air and rounded on my brother.
"Oh shut your fucking mouth, Itachi," he snarled. "I did not say anything bad about Sasuke-kun. Why would I say anything bad about Sasuke-kun? All I said was that he did not deliver a message to me. It was a fact – not a judgement upon his character."
My brother fell silent for a moment and observed the boss, standing across the room on the other side of the coffee table. Itachi's head was tilted to one side, ever so slightly, and he looked as though he were sizing up the gap between them and how long it would take him to close it and knock out a few of the boss's teeth.
"Why are you still here, Orochimaru?" he said, reverting to his customary monotone.
"Why have you not yet kicked me out?"
"You know perfectly well, Orochimaru," Itachi replied smoothly. "It is only because of Sasuke you are still here."
The boss smiled a horrible smile and leaned forward, knowing he had my brother verbally in check.
"Then you have your answer to both questions, don't you?" he said nastily.
My brother's jaw went rigid. It was lucky Tsunade decided to chip in when she did, otherwise, I think Itachi would have punched the boss right then and there.
"And it is because of Sasuke that you ran away – without telling anyone – and stood out in the rain all night until he let you in!"
Naturally, I took offence to Tsunade's unfair portioning of the blame upon myself, and felt the need to defend my position.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I insisted, taking a step forward. "Excuse me? It wasn't because of me. I didn't make him come here, did I?"
"No," Tsunade agreed, "but would he have come here slavering over Kisame? I don't think so—!"
"Excuse me. There was absolutely no need for that," Kisame said mullishly.
"Look, it doesn't matter!" Tsunade said irritably. "I could've picked any one of you numbskulls, but the end result is the same. He ran here like a complete idiot because of Sasuke."
"Pfft, I could've told you that," Deidara said snidely, "and I'm a numbskull, apparently..."
"Shut up, Deidara," the boss snapped. "This is nothing to do with you!"
"No you shut up!" Deidara shouted, pointing a finger at the boss. "It became something to do with me the minute your mad bitch of a friend called me a numbskull!"
"WHO'S A MAD BITCH?"
"YOU'RE A MAD BITCH!"
"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO TSUNADE LIKE THAT!"
"WHY NOT? YOU DID!"
"Pay no heed to him, Deidara. Orochimaru is a hypocrite. He does whatever he likes with no regard for others—"
The boss's eyes flashed and he turned, once again, on my brother.
"Thus spake Saint Itachi..." the boss snarled. "I don't think! You are the hypocrite! You have always sought to manipulate and control Sasuke-kun, despite telling him you have his best interests at heart. You have attempted to sabotage my relationship with him from day one! You have repeatedly told him he is free to make his own decisions, yet to seek to influence him at every turn!"
"How dare you..." my brother said. His tone was low and quiet, but it seemed the boss had gotten under his skin, for his voice was wavering with anger. "You are shameless, Orochimaru. You accuse me of trying to control my brother when you were the one who sought to restrict his freedom and isolate him from his friends and family because you wanted to keep him like a pet!"
"Something I deeply regret, Itachi, and something I have already apologised for. I have cleared the air with your brother, Itachi – a courtesy I wish you would extend him."
Itachi's eyes widened.
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
In the background, Tsunade and Deidara – the two blondes – were screaming in each other's faces. Sasori had stood up to defend his art partner in crime and Kisame was throwing his hands up in the air and shouting about how Tsunade had called him ugly. Dan was still intent on staying out of the chaos, and had retreated into the kitchen, coming out with a cup of tea. He sat down on the chair next to the little writing desk and picked up the crumpled copy of Forbes from the floor.
In front of me, my significant other and my brother were squaring off – and I had no idea what to do. Once again, I was caught in the middle, with no clue who to defend or how to diffuse the situation. If I had known what was going to happen later, I really would have tried harder to calm them down.
"Itachi..." I began, but my brother silenced me, laying a hand on my arm.
"No, Sasuke," he said gravely. "Let him say what he has to say."
The boss smiled nastily. It was an open invitation. He never shies from open invitations.
"Well, I thought you would know exactly what I'm talking about, since you're so clever and all," he began. "Or maybe you do know what I'm talking about and are feigning ignorance in front of your brother?"
"What are you talking about, Orochimaru?" my brother snapped, his eyes narrowing.
"You accuse me of having lied to Sasuke. And yes, I admit, I have lied to him in the past as he has lied to me in turn. Now, though, the air between us has cleared – there are no more secrets, no more lies. But there are secrets and lies yet, my dear Itachi, and you are their keeper."
"Be quiet," my brother stated baldly. "You cannot control yourself. Every other word that comes out of your mouth is a falsehood."
"Oh, Itachi, stop it!" the boss scoffed. "I know well that you have been keeping secrets from Sasuke. We have been together for several years now. You think Sasuke does not confide in me about his fears and niggling worries? You are lying to him about something. Sasuke-kun knows it, I know it, and I suspect you know it best of all..."
Then, with a certain inevitability, the boss moved in for the kill, leaning right into Itachi's face and saying through clenched teeth, "You are lying to your brother. He knows it, yet still he shows faith in you. He will put up with your lies, will give you innumerable second-chances, will defend you until his last breath – and how do you repay him? You take advantage of his love for you, lie to him over and over and over again, and I find it disgusting to watch—"
"ITACHI, NO!"
I could see the warning signs, so I was prepared. When Itachi lunged for the boss, I grabbed his arms and held onto them as hard as I could. Itachi fought like a tiger though – whatever demons had possessed him lending him unnatural strength – and he managed to break free. It was only because Kisame intervened and caught him a second later that he didn't do any damage. As soon as Itachi raised his voice, everyone else laid down their weapons and ceased their petty skirmishes, turning their shocked attention instead to the war that was brewing at hand.
"KISAME, GET OFF ME!" Itachi shouted. "GET OFF ME!"
"Let him go, Kisame!" the boss laughed, with a fey glint in his eye. "I've been looking forward to this for ages! Come on, Itachi! Show me what you've got!"
Pushed over the edge by the boss's taunts, Itachi began to struggle wildly. His eyes were locked on the boss, and I swear the fury reflected in them made me shiver. It came to the point Kisame couldn't handle him on his own, and Sasori and Deidara stepped in. I tried to help, but Tsunade grabbed me by the shoulder and shook her head. She was probably right. I don't think it would've helped, as Itachi would've no doubt thought I was trying to defend the boss and totally lost it. Between the three of them, they managed to drag Itachi into the corridor and out into the back garden. He thrashed and kicked the whole way, screaming at the boss.
"I SWEAR, OROCHIMARU! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"
When Itachi's screams finally faded away, there was a heavy silence. No one made eye contact. Kakuzu was standing staring out the window, and he puffed out his cheeks in relief. Tsunade was staring at the carpet, filthy now with all the sandwiches and spilled drinks ground into it. Even Hidan looked vaguely shocked. Outside, rain began to fall, pattering on the windows. It wasn't long before my brother's voice could be heard again, raised in agitation. I walked over to the window and twitched the curtain aside. Itachi was pacing back and forth on the lawn in the back garden and shouting – the others raising their hands in conciliatory gestures, attempting to mollify him. A hot wave of anger rose in me and I turned to the boss.
"What the hell did you have to go and say that for?" I snapped.
"It is true, Sasuke. You know it is."
"I know it's true!" I cried. "But for god's sake, look what you've done to him!"
"I am fed up with him treating you in such a way!"
"I know but I wanted him to tell me what was going on! I was handling it, okay? Now he's just going to shut down! He's not going to tell me anything in that state, is he?"
It was while I was remonstrating with the boss that the next layer of drama was added to my day. We were sniping at each other, and the doorbell rang. Irritated, I shouted at someone to get the door. Still at the writing-desk reading the copy of Forbes, Dan was nearest, and he set off with a sad little sigh.
"Sasuke-kun, please don't be angry with me."
"Well, you could've handled it better."
"You are not angry with me?"
"Look, I'm not really angry with you. I'm a bit angry with you. I understand why you said it, but you didn't have to say it – and certainly not in the way you said it."
"What can I say? Your brother brings out the worst in me."
"Evidently..."
"Don't be like that, Sasuke-kun. Please look at me? Thank you. I have a suggestion."
"Hit me with it."
"I shall do my best from now on to be unobtrusive, and I shall stay away from him and give him time to calm down. Lord knows he needs it. Then, perhaps, you could use my spiteful tirade as an opening to get him to talk, hmm?"
Right at that moment, the living-room door opened and the boss's good intentions were shattered into a million tiny pieces. There was no way in the nine circles of Hell he could've been unobtrusive when Kimimaro made his appearance. On the contrary, he was instantly thrust into the centre of everyone's attention and remained there until my brother could take it no longer.
Behind me, there was a creak. On instinct, I turned to face the source of the noise, thinking it might've been Deidara, Sasori or Kisame coming back inside. Instead I was greeted with the sight of Kaguya Kimimaro. I really should be more used to seeing him by now, but he still triggers a really unpleasant, inherent emotional reaction from me whenever I lay eyes on him. I swear it's like some sort of weird, Pavlovian response. His silvery-white hair, moon-pale skin, broad shoulders and his sombre aristocratic grace – everything about him puts me on edge. I feel nervous around him, sometimes a little sick. Before the whole disgusting mess at the Product of the Year awards, I felt exactly the same way but couldn't place it because I refused to believe he could ever challenge me. Now, though I know why. It is because he is a real threat, and boy have I ever been made to acknowledge it.
I turned to face him, and he was there, his wide eyes staring at us in disbelief – Suigetsu just coming into view behind him, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Next to me, the boss froze, but not before he reached for me and rested his hand upon my shoulder. I think that was all Kimimaro needed. His eyes filling up with tears, he uttered a strangled cry and fled.
"Oh here we go..." Suigetsu muttered, as he whipped round and followed after him.
For a horrible moment, my mind went completely blank. Kimimaro was here, and I had absolutely no idea what to do about it. My mind was awhirl with sudden panic, and I was very, very scared – scared he'd take the boss away from me again. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to march straight outside, have it out with him and punch him until his fat, moon-face caved in. But I couldn't do it. I didn't even want to go near him in case it happened all over again.
In the living room, there was a long silence, eventually broken by Hidan who decided to chip in and offer us a slice of his rock-hard stupidity.
"Who the hell was that guy?" he said loudly. "Did he get the wrong house or something? Looks familiar, though."
"That, Hidan, was Kisame's cousin," Kakuzu replied.
"Pfft... yeah, I know Suigetsu. Who was the other guy again?"
"That was Kisame's other cousin."
"Oh right? Who's that then?"
"Hidan, sometimes your stupidity surprises even me," Kakuzu said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It was Kimimaro."
Thinking, as a process, does not come naturally to Hidan, and I fancy he had to turn Kimimaro's name around in his tiny mind quite a few times before his lamentable excuse for a memory registered it and retrieved relevant recollections from the dusty depths of the Hidan archives.
"Oh yeah, Kimimaro!" he said, slapping a hand across his knee. "Totally knew his face! Never knew he was related to Kisame, though. But man, wasn't he trying to get back together with Oro... or... or... something...?" he added uncertainly, trailing off and wisely shutting up as Tsunade fixed him with a baleful glare.
With Hidan silenced, Tsunade marched forward towards the window. Throwing the curtain back with purpose, she looked left, right, and spotted something that made her frown. Unable to help my curiosity, I broke free of the boss, feeling his hand slip off my shoulder, and went to join her.
My brother's garden is surprisingly beautiful, even in winter. There is a rockery, a small fish-pond, raised beds and a square patch near the back where Itachi grows herbs and vegetables when he can find a spare second. The irises that grow throughout the garden are his favourites by far, and he tends to them very carefully. There's a clump of winter-blooming Algerian irises in the stony patch next to the fence he's very fond of. They came with the garden and already they're starting to bud. Itachi was staring blankly at them as he sat on the low, dry-stone wall enclosing the rockery. It seemed he had only just calmed down. Kisame was crouched down on the grass, talking to him, while Deidara stood a little away with Sasori, who was smoking.
I watched as Kimimaro came charging out into the back garden, flinging himself in a heap on the grass. He was sobbing hysterically. I could hear him through the window. Then Suigetsu came into view. He approached Kimimaro at a reluctant trot but gave up halfway, throwing his hands in the air, as though he knew Kimimaro couldn't be reasoned with. My brother looked up at the sudden intrusion, but did nothing. For a moment, Kisame searched my brother's face, and when Itachi nodded, he calmly walked over to Kimimaro and knelt down beside him. I had to look away.
"Oro..." a low voice said, firm but not unkind. It was Tsunade. "This isn't fair. Talk to him. Now."
My stomach did a nervous little flip and I looked round at the boss. He was standing a few paces away, at the coffee table where I'd left him, wearing a strange, closed expression. Then he noticed me staring at him and he smiled.
"So much for remaining under the radar," he said.
He paused for a moment, as though considering something, before dropping the bomb. "I would like to get this over with, Sasuke-kun," he said. "It is long, long overdue."
I couldn't speak, so I tried to pretend I was okay by smiling back. It wasn't very convincing. The boss seemed to notice, for he held out his hand.
"Come, Sasuke-kun. I want you to hear this."
Before I knew it, he had closed the gap between us and I felt his hand wrap around mine (it was cold – his hands are always cold). We walked outside together and as soon as I felt the mist-like rain touch my face I realised I looked absolutely terrible. My hair was half air-dried and I was wearing my lounge clothes and no shoes. This did nothing to increase my confidence.
Outside, Kimimaro's sobs were much more pronounced. He was crying so hard his shoulders were shaking. A few feet away, my brother sat on the rockery wall, no longer watching Kimimaro – he had instead turned his intent gaze upon me. For a brief moment, our eyes met and I had to look away because I felt a twist of residual shame. I was still holding the boss's hand, after all, and I didn't want him to see that. Not then. Maybe not ever, because I know how it makes him feel. So much for this morning's resolve.
Behind us, I heard footsteps as the rest of the spectators who were still inside gravitated to the porch. Obviously they wished to watch without getting wet – to have their drama-frosted, angst-filled cake and eat it, the gutless bastards. Sasori and Deidara wandered over and Tsunade started handing out cigarettes.
Eventually, the moment came when the boss had to let go of my hand. He gave it a little extra squeeze before he did so, and I felt his hand brush against my arm – a reassuring gesture. I stopped a few paces away from Kimimaro and started to fidget. I really didn't want to get any closer and was fighting the strong urge to just dash back into the house so I wouldn't have to hear the boss talking to him; so I wouldn't have to endure all the knowing looks from the others later; or most importantly, the disapproval of my brother.
"Kisame..." the boss said. "A moment, please."
Kisame shook his head and drew the boss a filthy look, but he stepped aside. I could do nothing but stand awkwardly off to the side and watch.
The boss crouched down beside the weeping Kimimaro and twitched aside a strand of his silvery hair.
"Kimimaro-kun..." the boss ventured. "Would you speak with me?"
"I knew it," Kimimaro said hoarsely, face down on the wet grass. "I knew you'd be here with him."
"Then why did you come?"
"Because I wanted to see it with my own eyes, even though I knew it'd kill me."
"How did you know to come here to find me?"
"I- I overheard Kabuto saying to Yoroi that... that he was thinking of sending another Christmas card to Sasuke, since the first would probably never get to him. I guessed he knew where he was hiding, s-so I looked in his address book and found his name under Itachi's with a circle round it."
"And Suigetsu?"
"He... was kind enough to drive me. I was in no fit state to do it myself."
"I see."
"We left not long after Tsunade and Dan. She told me not to come, but I could not stand idly by when... when..."
He burst into fresh floods of tears and buried his face in the grass. The boss laid a hand on his shoulder and tried to coax the words out of him.
"When what, Kimimaro-kun?"
But Kimimaro ignored him. Instead he sniffed, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his kimono, and sat up. His face was covered in grass stains and there were leaves in his hair. His pale eyes looked sore from crying and they were locked on the boss, but instead of their usual look – desperate infatuation – they betrayed weary resignation. I knew that look. He was tired of fighting. I am not proud to say it, but my heart soared.
"I've lost you, haven't I?" he said hoarsely, twisting his fingers in agitation.
The boss nodded. "I am afraid so," he said.
Kimimaro's eyes filled up again, but he blinked them back. He nodded bitterly and then looked levelly at the boss.
"I dared to dream that my life with you could have been beautiful. You've certainly put me in my place."
The boss's only reply was a mysterious smile.
"Fine..." he said. "I understand. But can I just say one thing?"
"Of course."
"I have no idea what you see in him," he said, suddenly venomous. It all came out in a rush, as though he had been bottling it all up for god knows how long.
"He's pretty face, I will give you that – but I thought you looked for more in a person, Orochimaru-sama! He is so... horrible. So, so horrible and arrogant and power-hungry and shallow and disrespectful and insufferably argumentative. I see him deliberately manipulating you, Orochimaru-sama! He knows he is beautiful, and he flaunts his beauty in front of you, turns it on whenever he needs to, and he knows very well that you will acquiesce because, for some reason, you cannot resist him – even though you know he's doing it!
You spoil him, Orochimaru-sama. You spoil him by letting him treat you with such disrespect. The way he speaks to you – it is disgusting! I would never... never..."
Kimimaro broke off, having once more worked himself up into a frenzied agitation. The boss, however, looked thoughtful.
"You are right, Kimimaro-kun," he said after a pause, my cheeks flaring red with indignation at his unexpected remark. "He can be all of those things, and I do agree with you most strongly on his argumentative streak. I criticise and he argues; I praise him to the hilt and he contradicts me with sudden bouts of sullen modesty. He is most peculiar in this regard, and contrary to what you might believe, I must confess to deriving a certain pleasure from it. Arguing with Sasuke-kun is most entertaining; and he does possess many other positive qualities aside from being uncommonly attractive. Sasuke will no doubt be hideously embarrassed to hear me say this, but I care not. I will bear his truculent diffidence."
Hanging around awkwardly a few paces away, I rolled my eyes and huffed. It was all for show, though, for I was listening.
"He possesses two rather rare qualities which endear him to me; indeed, they rather mystify me, since I do not believe I myself possess them. Though Sasuke-kun may preen and strut and argue and stare moodily across the room at you while in a sulk, at his heart lies a core of pure, lily-white naïveté, which is at once refreshing, fascinating and utterly alien to me. It is this core from which springs his tendency to care very deeply for those close to him – though his other less desirable qualities would never let him show it.
He is also a rather intelligent young man – absolutely no head for science, but I cannot have it all ways – and he is very, very funny at times."
Kimimaro's lip began to quiver, and the boss wisely decided to quit while he was ahead.
"I know that was probably not what you wanted to hear, but you did ask."
"I know..." Kimimaro said in a hollow voice, tugging at a fistful of grass.
There was a long pause, during which neither of them made eye contact. The wind picked up, as did the rain. My grungy lounge clothes were not at all suitable for outdoors and I shivered. The involuntary, physical reaction was of course nothing to do with the fact that my heart was in my mouth at the prospect of one of my long-awaited wishes about to come true.
Eventually, Kimimaro spoke.
"He makes you happy?"
When the boss nodded, his face twisted momentarily in grief before resuming its flat, desolate look.
"Then I have one more question, if I may?"
"By all means," the boss said, graciously.
"Did you ever love me?"
A few seconds elapsed before the boss replied, but it felt so much longer. When the words passed Kimimaro's lips, I couldn't help myself. Wide-eyed, I stared at the boss, willing him, pleading silently with him not to say anything stupid. He did not notice me, being too busy then with Kimimaro, but his reply, when it came, startled me.
"Almost," he said, so quiet I nearly missed it.
"Almost?" Kimimaro whispered.
"I was not very pleased when you left me. In fact, I was rather at a loss – for longer than I had anticipated. Of course, there was a measure of pride involved, but I do believe had I not hired Sasuke-kun matters would have played out rather differently."
"You know that was a mistake!" Kimimaro insisted. "You know how much I love you. I adore you, Orochimaru-sama. You know I would do anything for you, anything to make you happy."
"I know."
"And you would still choose Uchiha Sasuke over me?"
"... I am afraid so."
On the ground, exhausted, emotionally battered and utterly defeated, Kimimaro's head fell into his hands. He sighed a long, shuddering sigh. At length, he looked up. His eyes bright with unshed tears, he put on a brittle smile, rose shakily to his feet and said, "Well... now I know. I suppose there is nothing left to say."
"I suspect you are right, but truly, Kimimaro-kun, I wish you well. I do not know what you would prefer regarding working arrangements, but—"
"I do not think I will be able to continue working for you, Orochimaru-sama," Kimimaro interrupted, unintentionally curt. "I could not bear it."
The boss nodded. "I understand. I will be sorry to lose you. You are bright, talented and uncommonly useful, but if you wish it, I shall release you."
"Thank you," Kimimaro said with immense effort, before he turned and began to slowly walk away, his arms wrapped around himself. He looked very small.
Just as he reached me, he stopped and regarded me with an expression that was too tired to be jealous, too numb to be wretched, yet those feelings were there, simmering under the surface. My whole body tensed, ready for a conflict that in the end did not come to pass. All he wanted, it seemed, were a final few words.
"Congratulations, Uchiha-san," he stated. "You've won."
"Yeah," I said, lamely, unable for some reason to string a more cogent sentence together.
"How does it feel?"
"Great," I lied.
There was a short pause, in which Kimimaro looked me up and down with the faintest hint of distaste. Then he said, "Winner takes all, yes?"
"Absolutely."
"Then may you endeavour to deserve your prize."
With what vestiges of dignity he had left, Kaguya Kimimaro turned and walked out of my life; his grace and aristocratic bearing enabling him to hold his head high and conceal the acute sense of loss that had earlier spilled out. The hem of his silvery kimono, streaked with grass-stains, was fluttering in the gathering breeze. The iron-grey sky overhead set off its subdued colours, and combined to paint a rather forlorn picture.
I flinched when Kisame strode past me, calling out over his shoulder that he was going to take Kimimaro back to his house in Kirigakure and that he would return later to collect his things. Suigetsu shouted back, asking if he needed any help. Kisame gratefully accepted and Suigetsu ran inside, saying he'd make a start on packing his stuff. Tsunade and Dan followed, offering them a ride to the port, since Kisame had had a few drinks. Again, Kisame gratefully accepted, and they all filed back inside in silence, respecting Kimimaro's very public loss.
Then, just like that, they were gone.
It was only then that Kimimaro's words really began to sink in. I had won. And not only had I won, but Kimimaro had acknowledged it, had seen reason, and was as far as I knew not going to further pursue relations with the boss. I should've been ecstatic, but instead I sort of stood there, looking a little lost, in a puzzled sort of trance. I didn't know how to feel. To whoop and cheer at Kimimaro's misfortune, though I had very much earned the right, suddenly seemed a tasteless thing to do. To feel sympathy for him, however, was something I could never contemplate.
My brother's voice startled me from my reverie, with a suggestion as to how I should feel – one I did not agree with.
"A lucky escape," Itachi said, his low voice carrying through the wind and rain. "Kimimaro is fortunate, indeed. He deserves much better than you, Orochimaru. Hopefully, in time, he will come to realise it; unless your disgusting treatment of him has so addled his wits he will heedlessly cling to the fantasy of affection you wrongly encouraged in him."
Behind me, the boss's polite reply was laced with its usual sarcasm.
"Your words of wisdom would be better spent cheering his spirit, rather than used to satisfy your petty and futile desire to belittle me. Perhaps you should go and make yourself useful?"
"And leave you here alone with my brother so you may worm your way back into his affections?" Itachi gave a hollow laugh. "Absolutely not. You have cast aside Kimimaro for nothing. My brother is not stupid enough to fall for your lies a second time. He is not Kimimaro."
"No, you are right," the boss mused. "He is not Kimimaro. I would not lie to him, therefore if he were to give me a second chance, I would hesitate to call it stupidity."
"He will not give you a second chance!" Itachi said viciously, pushing himself to his feet.
My chest began to tighten with worry. I knew exactly where this conversation was going, and it was the very opposite of what I had planned. I wanted a quiet word with my brother, in private; perhaps several hours alone in the kitchen, or in his room, so I could justify myself and acclimatize him to the idea. Not this: a verbal slanging match in front of an audience between him and my significant other, in which the latter wielded his words so carelessly that it pushed Itachi to breaking point.
With a nasty smile, the boss dropped the bomb.
"What makes you think he hasn't already?"
Everyone turned and stared directly at me. There followed a horrible silence in which Itachi looked at me in incredulous disbelief. A flush of embarrassment crept across my cheeks and I couldn't meet his eye. I turned away. A second later, I heard Itachi's footsteps advancing rapidly across the lawn, and the next moment I felt him grab me by the shoulders and spin me around so I was forced to look into his eyes.
We all knew that Itachi at least had a suspicion the boss's words were true. He had seen us holding hands earlier on. Perhaps he was in denial and did not want it to become anything more than a suspicion. Perhaps he had convinced himself the boss had forced me to do it, or was merely leading me outside into the garden in his typically domineering manner. At any rate, the image was clearly troubling him. Cracks were appearing in the walls of cold logic and reasoning he had built about him. When they came down, in their place blazed a hot, relentless fury.
"Sasuke," he urged, gripping me tightly by the shoulders. "Please tell me you have not let yourself be charmed again by that manipulative snake. Tell me you have not! Tell me!"
Alarmed, struggling for words, I hesitated.
The hesitation was all my brother needed for confirmation. It had rendered me utterly transparent, and he looked into my eyes and read everything there. He did not like what he saw.
"It's true," he said quietly. I felt his arms suddenly drop away from my shoulders as he relinquished his grip. "It's true..."
"I-Itachi, I'm sorry—" I stuttered, only managing to get those three words out before he spun round and punched the boss in the face as hard as he could.
The boss had absolutely no warning, so when Itachi's fist connected, he took the full force of the blow and went reeling. There was a great cry from the porch, and Kakuzu and Hidan and the others who were left sprung into action. They weren't quick enough, though, for the boss recovered in a split second. With a feral snarl, he launched himself at Itachi, and the two of them were going at it like the hammers of hell, pummelling each other with astonishing ferocity.
I was nearest, and Kakuzu was fastest (Deidara and Sasori stopping to put out their cigarettes before doing anything), so it fell to us to separate them. Kakuzu shoulder-charged the boss and forced him back, tackling him to the ground. At the same time, I managed to grab my brother round the waist, hooked my leg around his and tripped him, sending him falling too. As soon as he hit the ground he twisted to get up and try again, so I wasted no time, jumping on top of him and pinning him fast.
Through the red haze of his rage, Itachi looked up at me. His eyes spoke of betrayal and I felt a stab of shame. The boss had obviously landed a punch or at least caught him a glancing blow with his long nails, as there was a small cut above his eye beginning to trickle blood.
"Itachi, stop it!" I hissed, struggling to hold him still. "You're going to get yourself hurt, or worse still, arrested! Do you hear me?"
Ignoring me completely, he looked past me and started roaring at the boss from his prostrate position on the ground.
"YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER! YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER, OR SO HELP ME, I'LL KILL YOU OROCHIMARU!"
The boss, who had somehow managed to get to his feet, roared back from over Kakuzu's shoulder, "MAKE ME! I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! GO ON! GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!"
Beneath me, Itachi gave a great heave and the world turned upside down. He tipped me off him, and before I knew it, he was on his feet and striding towards the house without so much as a word. Puzzled by what I saw as a wild change in tack, I called out after him, but he ignored me yet again, shoving past Deidara and Sasori before he disappeared indoors.
Dumbstruck, I just stood there for a moment, breathing hard. Behind me, Kakuzu released the boss and he came straight over. I was still on edge, though, and irritated with his idiotic behaviour.
A livid bruise was beginning to bloom upon the arch of his cheekbone where Itachi had landed that initial blow and he snapped, "Your brother, Sasuke, needs locking up!"
"Oh and you were much better, goading him on like that?"
"Forgive me, I didn't realise I was supposed to stand there and take all his abuse!"
"You were pushing his damned buttons! You should have just ignored him! I told you earlier—"
"I cannot ignore him. Not when it comes to you, Sasuke-kun. There is too much at stake. He will simply have to get it into his thick head that my intentions towards you are genuine!"
"Well, it's obvious why he was worried. And if I'd had a spare minute – one that wasn't filled with flying fists – I would've sat him down on the sofa and told him!"
"And you think he would've believed you?"
"If I'd mentioned the counselling, yes!" The boss visibly clamed up when I mentioned the counselling, and I called him out on it while I was on a roll.
"What, you're regretting promising to go? Well, remember it's a deal-breaker! After that sorry display, there's no way you're getting out of it!"
"Did I say I wanted out?" the boss said, waspishly.
"Your face did!"
"Well, I'm going to go through with it, just to prove you wrong."
"Oh wonderful!" I said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "That's exactly the right attitude. It's a wonder our relationship has gone so smoothly."
"Yes? Well maybe while you're there, Sasuke-kun, you can solicit some advice on how to stop being such a pain in the arse!"
On the fringes stood, Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu, Hidan and Kakuzu, looking as though they weren't quite sure what to do. As the boss and I were working up towards a minor argument, they kept casting each other wary glances, wondering if it was serious enough to warrant breaking up or if this was just par for the course for the boss and I. It was more the latter, for we were just letting off a bit of steam. When I think about it, it really is a wonder our relationship lasted as long as it has (not counting the major upsets, of course.)
"Oh yeah?" I shouted back. "When I'm finished, I'll report back and give you some tips, you horrible shit!"
"Name-calling, Sasuke? Oh how low we have sunk..."
"You started it!" I yelled, outraged. "You called me a pain in the arse!"
"Well you are! And I don't think any amount of counselling is going to change that hard-wired characteristic!"
"Oh, so you really don't want to go, do you?"
"Of course I don't want to go, but I'm going to have to, aren't I?" the boss snapped, with an angry flail. "I would rather like to keep you, Sasuke-kun, and in case you haven't yet noticed, I have already made something of an effort to make amends. I would have been perfectly content to remain calm and unobtrusive for the rest of the day had your brother not decided to launch himself at me. In fact, I would have loved nothing more than to go back to bed! Much better than being punched in the face, don't you think?"
"Okay, okay..." I said, holding my hands up and conceding. "I get you, but just for the record, if he comes out again: don't push his buttons."
"I will try not to."
"Good," I said firmly, having calmed down again. "And I think you going back to bed is an excellent idea. You'll be out the way, and I'll be able to call Oto airport and arrange for the jet— wait, how exactly did you get here?"
"I drove."
"You drove?"
"Yes."
"On your own?"
"Yes."
"I hope it was an automatic?"
"It was the Rolls. Zaku has gone home for Christmas."
"That's an automatic, right?"
"Why are you so concerned whether or not it is an automatic?"
"Because you can't drive!"
"Don't be ridiculous, Sasuke. Of course I can drive. I drove you home myself when you were stranded in the Old Rice Quarter, lest you forget..."
"Yeah, and lest you forget, we almost careered off a cliff when you decided to change tracks on the iPod while changing up round a hairpin bend!"
"Well it is an automatic. Does that alleviate your tender conscience?"
"Yes, yes it does. But we're not driving. I don't relish the thought of a five hour journey in miserable weather, so I'm calling Oto airport and having the jet brought over. Is that alright?"
"That's fine. I shall arrange for a valet to return the car."
"You'd better get one for Suigetsu as well, while you're at it."
"Oh yes... Where on earth did he go?"
"Up to pack Kisame's stuff for him, I think."
"I didn't know he was staying in Otogakure for Christmas."
"He didn't. He went to see Zabuza and Haku. Must've went back to Otogakure this morning to a shitstorm."
"I am going to have to apologise to rather a lot of people, aren't I?"
"I think so. Definitely the Sarutobis, at any rate, and maybe Kabuto for not calling back."
At the prospect, the boss sighed petulantly. I was feeling charitable, so I gave him an exasperated peck on the cheek and took his hand.
"Don't be an idiot. It won't be that bad. Kabuto's hardly going to bawl you out for it, and Mr and Mrs Sarutobi will let you away with murder if you appear sufficiently contrite. Now come on," I said, leading him indoors, "the sooner we get started, the sooner we'll be back in Otogakure. I'm starting to feel I've outstayed my welcome."
The rain had just begun to fall in earnest, and I was quite glad to be out of it. The rest of the Akatsuki mob sauntered in behind us, muttering and whispering to each other with smirks on their moronic faces. I didn't care what they thought, and neither did the boss, so we had no difficulty in ignoring them and walking straight through and out into the hall when they once again commandeered the living room and started laughing and bitching in earnest, no doubt going over the day's events and reconstructing them from what they saw with their cruel, cynical eyes. All in a day's work for Akatsuki. Making our way upstairs together, however, their voices faded into silence, and soon we were loitering in the corridor just outside my room.
With all the earlier drama, even hanging around in a hallway felt like a welcome oasis of calm. When I was sure no one was looking, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around the boss's neck and buried my face into his shoulder. He reciprocated, and for a few moments we just stood there, breathing on each other. After a while, I said, my voice muffled as I was speaking directly into the boss's shoulder, "You should phone for the jet. It'll take about two hours to get here and I'll need time to pack – I've got quite a lot of stuff. I'll go get Suigetsu and tell him what's happening. He's still in Kisame's room."
"I know," the boss said. "I heard him swearing."
I laughed and I gave him an extra squeeze before releasing him. We both made to go our separate ways, and as I passed Itachi's bedroom door, I called out, "SUIGETSU! THE BOSS AND I ARE HEADING BACK TO OTOGAKURE SOON AND WE'RE GOING ON THE JET! ARE YOU COMING, OR DO YOU WANT TO DRIVE?"
It all happened so quickly.
To my right, Itachi's door swung open. Startled, I looked around on instinct to see my brother standing in the doorway wearing a cold, focused expression.
There was a click and a flash of metal, and I watched as the boss turned to find himself staring down the barrel of a .357 magnum.
My blood ran cold.
"You challenged me," Itachi said, his voice low and menacing, "and I have stepped up to the plate. Orochimaru, I will tell you one last time: stay away from my brother. If you cannot be reasoned with, then by god I will make you."
"Itachi..." the boss said slowly, calmly, "put the gun down."
"No. I will not," Itachi said, with equal composure. He took a step forward, forcing the boss back against the wall.
"The first time you hurt my little brother I warned you that if you ever again caused him a moment's pain, I would kill you. I am here to impress that upon you most strongly. Do not doubt for a moment that I will not do it."
Seeming eerily unperturbed at the fact he was at the business end of a very powerful magnum revolver, the boss managed a wry smile and replied, "I have no doubt you would, Itachi. In fact, I feel you would derive a great deal of pleasure from it."
"I would."
"Then do it!" the boss hissed suddenly, recklessly. Flinging his arms out wide, he took a step directly towards my brother, wearing a lunatic smile – all teeth and bravado. "Do it, Itachi, if you want to prove to me you're not all mouth! Splatter my brains all across those lovely white walls of yours in the name of what you call justice, or vengeance, or whatever fallacy of a motivation your mind has constructed for itself! Do it! Do it, and I will die happy because I know that I will have enjoyed the affection of my Sasuke-kun right until the bitter end!"
Itachi regarded him for a moment with an expression unfathomable. Then he raised the pistol a little higher and took aim. I was so scared.
"Itachi, no..." I began, finding it very hard to keep my voice from shaking. "Stop it... please stop it..."
"Sasuke, do not interrupt!" he snapped irritably, as though I were a dissenting voice deterring him from his righteous task.
"Itachi... if you go through with this, I will never, ever forgive you for as long as I live. I will testify against you as a witness in court and I will make sure you go to jail for a long, long time."
At my words, my brother's hands began to shake.
"You don't have to do this," I pleaded. "Please, Itachi. You're my big brother. I don't want to see you do this. This isn't you. I know you're angry, but believe me, I can handle this. I've made the right decision, you've got to trust me—"
There was a sudden creak down the far end of the hallway, and we all looked round.
When Suigetsu emerged from Kisame's room, it was like the spell that had been cast over the moment had lifted. Cheerful and oblivious, Suigetsu called out to no one in particular, thinking perhaps I was in another room, "WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT HEADING BACK, SASUKE?"
Then he spotted us; my brother pointing a gun at the boss, myself standing a few paces away, ashen-faced and desperate. The grin vanished from his face, replaced with a wide-eyed horror.
"... holy fuck," he croaked, taking an involuntary step back. "Holy fuck, what the hell's going on here?"
"It's okay, Suigetsu," I said, my voice trembling. "I'm dealing with it. There's no need to worry."
"NO NEED TO WORRY?" Suigetsu exploded, throwing his hands in the air. "SASUKE, HE'S GOT A FUCKING GUN!"
Ignoring Suigetsu, I turned my attention back to my brother. I don't think he had anticipated an interruption, and the presence of Suigetsu seemed to have woken him up somehow, for he looked suddenly very aware of what he was doing.
"Itachi please..." I said quietly, laying a hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the contact. "Please don't do this... please... I beg you..."
My words finally had an effect, for Itachi took a deep, shuddering breath and let his arms drop to his sides, along with the gun. He crouched down in the middle of the hallway, covered his head with his hands and moaned softly, a wretched, miserable sound. The boss, it seemed, was a little more scared than he had let on, as he stood for a moment, staring into space, before he slid down the wall and came to rest on the carpet. Instantly, I darted forward and snatched away the gun. I met no resistance, and I realised then that Itachi was no longer intent on doing anything stupid. It would be safe to approach him.
"Itachi...?" I ventured, crouching down beside him, trying to look at his face, still obscured by his arms. "Are you alright?"
Nothing. My brother had completely shut down. I wasn't certain he could even hear me, but I carried on anyway.
"Itachi, that was really good of you. I'm glad you saw sense, but I think you should maybe take some time out and calm down. Where do you keep your medicine?"
Nothing.
I sighed.
"It must be in your room somewhere. I'll go check—"
I was cut off abruptly as Itachi all of a sudden rose to his feet. Like an automaton, he walked the short distance to his bedroom and closed the door quietly behind him. There was a click as he set the lock. I knew then that I would not be able to do any more, and it was probably for the best. Talking to him, however kindly, would probably agitate him further. I felt guilty for feeling relieved of the responsibility.
I had a further moment of strife when I turned round to tend to the boss and found he was not where I'd left him. Suigetsu, however, helpfully informed me he had retreated into a room down the corridor – pointing to mine. I found him inside, sitting on the bed, staring out of the window. I stole over to him and sat down carefully on the bed, not wanting to jostle him for some reason. Believing I would be in for a long silence, the boss surprised me by speaking first.
"If this is what I will have to go through to keep you, my dear Sasuke-kun, then I am wondering if you are really that worth it," he said in a low voice.
I knew he didn't mean it, so I laughed a little and replied, "If you think that's bad, wait until you get to the counselling. This will seem like nothing."
The boss's lips twitched, but he didn't laugh. Obviously, he wasn't quite over the shock, for he then said, suddenly serious, "Sasuke, your brother pointed a gun at me."
"I know..." I said, bleakly, fearing what was coming.
"I will not abide it."
"You shouldn't have to..."
"I am glad you agree—"
"But, Orochimaru-sama—"
I stopped short as the boss turned to face me directly, surveying me with an air of resigned inevitability.
"What is it, Sasuke-kun?" he asked, patiently. He probably knew what was coming.
"I know that this is really serious," I said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, "and I mean really serious, but please hear me out. Itachi isn't himself. Something's wrong, and it's not all to do with you. I mean he was able to put up with us being together before, even if he didn't like it, and I know what happened two months ago was just... well, I don't want to go over it again... but he shouldn't be acting like this.
I know I shouldn't even be asking you this, and you are totally within your rights to turn round and tell me to take a hike, but please – don't call the police. He's my brother, and he needs help, not a lawsuit..."
At the end, I was almost in tears. The seriousness of the situation had finally caught up with me and I was finding myself struggling to fend off a freak-out. The thought of Itachi publicly disgraced and sent to jail for any length of time made my heart hurt. I was perfectly aware I was throwing both myself and my brother upon the boss's mercy and I hoped with every fibre of my being that his affection for me would tip the scales in Itachi's favour. I was also perfectly aware that this was emotional manipulation of the highest order, Kimimaro's words having come back to me: I see him manipulating you, and you do not resist – and felt awful for doing it, really I did, but I had to, I just had to. I could not see my brother brought so low.
It was a long time before the boss answered. He sighed exasperatedly, letting his head fall into his hands. He took so long, for a horrible moment I convinced myself that he would refuse, and I let all manner of black thoughts creep into my head and made myself miserable. But he did not. Instead he shook his head, sat up and regarded me with a long-suffering expression.
"I will think about it," he said, with a fragile dignity.
Instantly, my black mood blew away like so much dust, and bright laugh escaped my lips. Of course, his reply was as good as a yes. His eyes widened in surprise when I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around my neck and peppering him with grateful kisses.
"Sasuke-kun!" he admonished, trying his best to wriggle out of my grip, "I said I would think about it—!"
"I know, I know..." I said cheerfully, hugging him so tightly we both fell back onto the bed. For a moment, I just lay there on top of him, grinning like a loon in relief. The boss stared up at me, then shook his head ruefully.
"The things I do for you, Sasuke-kun—" he began mullishly, before I silenced him with a kiss.
"This is by far the nicest thing you've ever done for me," I whispered, pulling back for air. "That and finally telling Kimimaro where to go. I don't know, but it might go some way to making up for the awful way you treated me two months ago. Think of it as reparation and it won't eat away at your pride so much."
"Reparation..." the boss murmured though another round of kisses from me. "You really are unabashedly conniving, Sasuke-kun."
"I know," I said softly. "Does it help if I say I do feel bad about it, and that if it wasn't my brother, I'd be in court in a flash and fighting your corner?"
"Not really."
"I'm sorry."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes."
"Then I suppose I could overlook it," the boss said, a final grudging surrender before he let himself be consoled by my kisses.
After that, there wasn't much else to be done. We spent a few calm moments in each other's company, in which I devoted most of my energy to soothing the boss's nerves. He really was more shaken by the incident that he let on, but by the time I gently reminded him we should probably get going, he was more or less recovered and agreed to call Otogakure airport and arrange transport for ourselves and Suigetsu. I texted Suigetsu to let him know, and he kindly came through and helped me pack. The boss helped too, which would have been strange under other circumstances, but considering what had happened, I didn't blame him for wanting to be out there.
While the boss and Suigetsu struggled with heaving the luggage downstairs, I took the time to write a short note to Itachi, letting him know that I was leaving, that I was shocked but not angry with what he had done, that he should take it easy for a while, not get too worked up, that if he needed to talk I was there for him, and that the boss had very kindly agreed not to press charges. With a tug of regret, I pushed it under his door and went to join Suigetsu and the boss, who were outside saying goodbye to the remaining Akatsuki. They had no idea what had happened upstairs, and Suigetsu wasn't about to tell them, for he had agreed to remain silent at our request.
"Do you have to leave so soon, Saucy-kins?" Deidara said, as my luggage was loaded into the back of the Rolls by the driver.
"Sorry, Deidara. I think I'm just going to cause more trouble if I stay here any longer."
"Well you should at least say goodbye to Itachi," he admonished.
"I already have," I lied.
"And how did he take it?" Kakuzu enquired.
"Not well. I wouldn't bother him for a while," I said tightly. "But... look out for him, will you?"
"We'll try," Zetsu said, "but you know what he's like. We can't promise anything."
I thanked them one by one and then said my final goodbyes before joining Suigetsu and the boss in the back seat. The journey to Konoha airport was strangely subdued; each of us lost in our own private worries. When we reached the airport, however, and drove straight to the jet, bypassing security, Suigetsu brightened considerably. I had forgotten that he'd never been on the boss's jet before, and he was refreshingly excited about the whole business. The boss was distracted by answering all of Suigetsu's rapid-fire questions, which left me free to have a quiet moment to myself. By the time we boarded, I was content to do nothing more than slump into the seat next to the boss and lie with my head in his lap, while Suigetsu sat up front in the cock-pit, annoying the pilots.
We're moments away from landing, so I really should put this away, but I just want to say that the comment I made at the end of my last entry regarding the boss still stands. In fact, after today, I might even love him a little bit more. Just a little bit, though. Don't want to go overboard. If he ever found out, it'd go straight to his head. He's been so good about Itachi and Kimimaro, against all of my hopes and expectations, that it has only confirmed in my mind that I have made the right decision in getting back together with him. I only hope that he still feels the same way.
God, I hope Itachi's okay...
LATER:
12:03am
FUCK!
I FORGOT THE CAT!
AN: Hey guys! Sorry about the delay. I'm being made to do a bit of work for uni this year (since it's my last) and I've kind of had to change the way I write the fun stuff to fit it all in. I'm getting the balance, though, so the wait for the next one shouldn't be as long. Well, here's hoping... :)
But how about the manga? I don't know about the rest of you, but I think it's getting really interesting. Pain has shuffled off his mortal coil courtesy of Naruto's all-powerful book-no-jutsu, Madara is coming out into the open, Danzou has made his bid for Hokage, Kabuto is hanging around with his rapidly spreading Oro disease making him crazy, Sasuke is also crazy and heading for the kage summit on another vengeance bender, and not to mention the other kages. Wow. It's all good. I'm really looking forward to this arc.
Also, there's a new chapter of NayanRoo's Shadowplay to read. It's a really great fic and deserves more reviews. I'm off to read and review after I post this. :)
Now let's crack on with the thank yous...
NayanRoo I wonder if my update patterns are synced with yours somehow? I was in the middle of writing when I got the email alert for Shadowplay. I'm looking forward to seeing what ways you've come up with to make me angst, grrr, cheer and flail about my room. I'm glad you liked the Akatsuki stupidness last chapter. Just writing that was loads of fun. I love making them argue and bicker with each other. I mean, it's canon, right? Teams Sasori and Kakuzu didn't always get along. XD)
uberhaxxor of pwnage Yay, indeed! Oro and Sauce are back, and are... stronger than ever? Even with Oro acting like such an obsessed idiot last chapter? Well, we'll wait and see how the therapy pans out, hrmmm. If Itachi scared you in forty, I wonder how you're feeling about him now. And I secretly want a t-shirt like Deidara's, but I think it'd scare people. XD)
Nozomi-sama You know, when I started writing this thing way back, I didn't set out to grab people by the emotions and throw them this way and that. I guess Sauce and Oro's drama queen natures made it inevitable. XD I'm glad you liked last chapter, though. I was worried about it; worried that they got back together too quickly, but I had already planned for it to happen and I didn't want to chuck in any filler to pass the time.
AriesRaccoonRebi Hello to the Artist Formerly Known as Ari! How did your trip to London go? Good, I hope. :) And what did you think of the Pain arc? Were you shocked by Naruto's unbeatable book-no-jutsu, lol? And yes, Oro standing out in the rain like a stalking psycho - even though it is incredibly creepy - really does show how much he loves the Sauce. If only he would tell him, the silly man!
NaruGuru Sorry to hear you were having problems. I hope you've sorted them out since the last update. :( I'm glad you're fine with them getting back together, though. That's the major thing I was worried about last chapter. See, I'd planned for it to happen all along, but there was this doubt at the back of my mind that said: 'too quick', but I didn't want to write any filler. Obviously, I went with the no filler option, and I guess it worked out? Hope you liked this chapter.
hieilover135 Hey there! Wow, I'm glad you liked last chapter. I was really worried they got back together too fast, and I was having a go with the plan vs write some filler moment, and I just don't like doing filler, so I went for it and I guess I pulled it off. Relief! And no, Lee's not a goth. I just took the straight edge philosophy and stuck it into an organised, youth club charity type enviroment. As for this being published? I'd love to, I really would. I just don't much fancy the lawyers coming knocking... :\
yumechan3 Lol, that's quite alright. It seemed like your last review was sort of a chance to just get everything out there, and since this is a pretty long fic, that's quite a lot of everything. I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with Oro-esque problems with the person you love. Stuff like that is never easy, and I hope you can get through it. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and that Sasuke's way of dealing with his longing to get back together with Oro whilst acknowledging the severity of his actions rung true with you. I was quite worried about it, but I guess I pulled it off. :)
Anilmathiel Greenleaf Hey again! Lol, I'm glad you thought the transition between 'U CHEET ON ME! I HATE YOU, RAWR!!' and 'I L U SAUCE, PLZ SPEAK TO MEEEEE!!' was fairly smooth. It was planned for them to get back together, but I may have over egged the drama pudding on the last two chapters, so that's probably why reconciliation seemed impossible, lol. If you were looking for a reaction from Itachi, then you bloody well got one this chapter. XD As for Itachi pairing up? No comment... :D
Ladyrouge214 Hello thar! God, I know. I wouldnt've been standing out in the rain, either. Oro really is a bit of a creepy, obsessive mentalist, lol. XD But he loves his Sauce.
DookiYeah, it is pretty close to the end, actually. Only three chapters to go, I think (unless I have to split a long one in two). This might sound daft, but I've had to come round to the fact it's ending, since I've been writing this thing for two years or so. I have other projects lined up, though, so I hopefully won't plunge into a horrible depression. XD As for not mentioning Kimimaro in his conditions... yeah. I think I forgot to mention that. Good call. If I ever go back and edit, I'll add that one in. Cheers for spotting it. :)
Roxanne Morinaka Oh, Itachi! He is such a good brother, and he still is, even after going a bit nuts this chapter. And you know what? Oro has improved his and Sasuke's relationship from day one. I've never really thought about that before, but you're so right. And as for Neji being the counsellor... watch this space. ;)
macadamiasnuts Yay! A new reviewer! I skip and caper with wild abandon. Thanks so much for coming out of your comfy lurky hole to review. It's much appreciated. :) Oh, I am so sorry about chapter thirty-nine. It traumatised a lot of people - including me, lol! And yeah... the Sandman quote was just sheer 'Awwwww'. There is no other way to describe it. XD Deep down inside Sauce is a fluffy core, I swear it. XD
Gerkyhen Y Hello, Gerkyhen! Hope you're still around after the monster long wait for this chapter. XD I'm glad you liked the last chapter, though; that was the nicer side of Oro. Unlike Sauce, he doesn't have the natural core of fluffy fragility, but he's trying his best. I think Sauce has made him develop one and he's not quite sure how to deal with it yet. XD As for publishing this, I would absolutely love to, but I'd probably be met with an army of lawyers after my blood, so I probably shouldn't, lol.
Chann Hi there! Damn, sorry to hear about your evil illness from hell. The flu plus IBS really is an unholy combination. Perhaps as bad as a friend of mine, who got food poisoning on top of IBS. He was chained to the toilet for days, going at both ends. Bad times, lol. I'm glad you thought the last chapter flowed, though. I was quite worried about it. I don't think Jiraiya, Kiku and Kylie will end up at Oro's place again, but Sasuke certainly will, which is all he really wants, I think. :) He does love his Sauce. Hope you liked this one!
YoungSasuke As always, you are rather perceptive. I think you should be Oro and Sauce's counsellor, lol. Love does, indeed, make people do strange things, which explains all Oro's creepy, standing-out-in-the-rain-and-shouting antics. I wonder, though, if he's realised himself yet that he's in love. He never has been before, ever, in his life (only almost) and I think he's finding it hard to deal with. At least he realises he's going to have to work his ass off, and he's already went some way to making up to Sasuke this chapter. Poor Itachi...
Jaunty Jackalope First, I have to say I really love your screen name. It is fantasticness of the highest order. Secondly, I have to woo and yay, for you are a new reviewer (though not a new reader, it seems.) Thanks so much for taking the time out to review. I say this all the time, but it really is appreciated. :) I'm glad you managed to plough on through the chapters of angst and darkness (thirty-eight and nine, lol) and come out the other side to the slightly nicer, more positive stuff - and that you liked it too! That's always a bonus, lol. And yes! Another one sold on OroSasu, though I wonder now what you think of Itachi's reaction. It's pretty grim, lol.
Violet203 I know, the last chapter was sooooooo long. Dangerously approaching longcat length, I think. Glad you liked it, though, and that it seemed believable. That was my biggest worry over the last one. Good to know it was convincing, lol.
misslucyfer Yay! Another new reviewer. This makes me happy. Though you read all forty chapters in one go? Wow... That must've take you, what? The best part of a day, even two days? XD But better yet, I have another sold on OroSasu! Hooray, lol! And you know, I'm quite glad you picked up on the bit of effort I made in trying to get across other people's reactions and feelings. You're right, it is quite limiting being stuck in Sasuke's perspective. Luckily, he is quite clever and perceptive, so he picks up on bit here and there, even if he doesn't always get it bang on the money. :)
Insomniac Owl Yeah, having Sasuke take Oro back last chapter was the thing I was worried about. I had planned it that way, but I think I laid on the drama really thick in the previous two chapters and it made it less likely Sasuke would be willing to reconcile, so when I was faced with the plan, I was like... uh oh. Too fast. I had a choice of writing some filler, but I hate sticking in filler, so I just went with it. It didn't turn out too badly, considering... But yeah, you picked up on Sauce's comment about love hurting. Oro just hasn't ever experienced it before, and he's having a really hard time recognising what it is and dealing with it. Hence the standing out in the rain, which he totally deserved, by the way. Oro needs a little humiliation now and again. And as for Neji? No comment... :D
Aperion Ooooh... Kant. I'm guessing you do philosophy? If you do, don't touch anything by Schopenhauer. I had to stop reading his stuff because it made me depressed and cynical. I heard somewhere the suicide rate in students is highest in those who study philosophy. Wonder if that's true? And you have been in a situation similar to Oro's? Wow. Maybe you should give him some advice in how to deal with it. He's having a bit of a rough time. XD I'm glad you were looking forward to drama and unpleasantness, though, because you got it, courtesy of Itachi! XD
Bri Hey, Bri! It's funny about the whole NaruHina, NaruSaku situation. In all honesty, I don't know where I stand in the ship for Naruto issue. In this fic, anyway, I think at the moment that Naruto's too focused on his career, following in Minato's footsteps and 'becoming Hokage' to be interested in relationships just now. Just like the manga, I guess. As for the god comment... that's quite interesting. Actually, it'd make an awesome fic, now I come to think about it. Oro'd definitely be the god of destruction, or a god of chaos. They are his favourite words, after all. :)
R. O. S. Yeah, it's fair to say the Akatsuki don't really like the police. Oro's not too fond of them, either, for different reasons from the time he was arrested in Konoha, so not having them involved is the best option for both factions. Although this means that they are occassionally tempted to take the law into their own hands...
DragonMorticia Wow! You own a lot of cats. Do you breed them or are you just a normal, loving owner? And have you ever seen the Engineer's Guide to Cats on YouTube? Absolutely hilarious. XD I agree that Akatsuki are like a very dysfunctional family. They really are all completely batshit insane, but having been forced to work closely with one another, they've grown used to each other they bitch and bicker like relatives - and when an outsider criticises, they stomp, just like family. XD
Kafei Have I bagged myself another new reviewer? I think so. Woo and yay! :D Cheers for taking the time to review. It's much appreciated. :) And I liked that line too. Oro is a devious bastard, really.
ForWhom Lol, your predictions of Itachi being utterly LIVID were on the money. He did try to stay cool, but he's been under a lot of pressure, and I guess Sasuke choosing to get back together with Oro was the straw that broke the camel's back. At any rate, he hasn't let go yet. I think it'll take him a while... And yes, he does have a gun, and I wonder whether you were thinking at the back of your mind if he'd use it? ;)
chibibaka1 Hey there! First off, I'd just like to say I'm going to get onto your Gohan/Trunks fic after I post this and read and review NayanRoo's fic. :) I had a quick glance at it, and I have to say it's looking really good so far. :) Second, thanks for the reviews. I know you've been busy with arranging school stuff, so it's appreciated. As usual, you're really perceptive when it comes to the relationship stuff. The "poor kid" thing really did knock Sasuke's pride, and you're right about Oro too, not quite understanding what he feels for Sasuke and being completely at a loss as to what he should do about it.
Beqs It's been so long, I can't even remember what you're saying thank you about, lol, but you're welcome. And I hope you liked this chapter! :)
ShallowMind Guh, I know right? They do just keep getting longer. I think this one is a bit shorter, thankfully, since there wasn't quite so much I wanted to cram in. :P Sure I'll give your OroSasu fic a look. It's in the queue after NayanRoo's fic and my beta reading for chibibaka1's Gohan/Trunks fic. I'm sorry about not being active in the FC. I kind of disappear sometimes, but I'll always check in. :)
pompomwoop Do I have another new reviewer? Signs point to yes! :D Glad you like it and I hope you're still about after the uber long wait for an update. Lol, and I was just worried about Oro and Sauce getting back together too quick, but I guess I pulled it off okay, so I'll take that chill pill, kthnx. XD Good point about the honourific. I have wondered about that, believe it or not, and it's actually going to be something that'll be addressed next chapter. Hope you liked this chapter. :)
KyuubiNaru Wow, another new reviewer? This is a seriously great day for it. :D Thanks for taking the time to review. It's much appreciated. :) You know, quite a lot of people have said that to me: that they're not really into OroSasu, but that this story is just so mental that they're willing to let it slide. It's what I set out to do at the beginning, so that always makes me happy. :) And I'm glad you like Oro's characterisation too. He is a bastard, but a magnificent one. XD
Atsui-Danna (sesshy-stalker-kendra) Wow, thanks so much for the compliments! I blush a deep and furious red, lol. And of course I don't mind that you've printed it out (must've gone through at least a whole tree by now, with the length of this bloody fic, lol). I should start printing out some of my favourite fics too. This one is pretty near the end, but I've got a few ideas for other Naruto fics and original stuff, so I won't be too bummed when it ends. :)
TheEvilAuthoressK-chan Wow, it's Rebi and Bri's elusive friend Kelsey! It's strange finally getting reviews from you, because those two keep mentioning you. They must've really kept at you to read this, lol, I hope you're not regretting it. It is pretty damned long (longer than I ever thought it would be, but it's almost finished now) so it's sort of an investment if you end up reading it all the way through. The OroSasu thing does weird people out at first, but a lot of people eventually say that they get used to it because this story is just so ridiculous they're willing to let it slide.