I know. I probably know better than anyone. I know that you love cute things, especially animals. I know that you have little knowledge of cooking and cleaning, but that those are areas of interest for you. You even know how to sew a bit. I know that you're soft-hearted and that you get embarrassed easily. I know that when you do, you cover it up with anger or simply turn away. I know there's no real harsh intent behind that scary face you show. Sometimes I wonder if you know how much I know about you… and I wonder if you know how all of it makes me feel about you.

Because you're someone special. I know it with all of my heart.

Tetsuya sucked on the end of his pen, his brows turned down in a quizzical expression. Several crumpled papers lay about his feet. He leaned on his elbows against the kitchen counter, a notepad before him. He was going out to the market again today, but Kasanoda wasn't home. He felt like he should write a note to let him know where he was in case he should return, but quickly found himself to be lacking in that particular sort of literary talent. Everything he wrote sounded too hurried and empty, or else ended up so warm-sounding that it made Tetsuya blush brightly to read it over again.

How could something that seemed so simple be so difficult?

He poised the pen over the paper once again. Waka, he wrote… then quickly scribbled it out. Ka…sa… Tetsuya blushed. No. Ritsu…? No, that was even worse. He crumpled up the note and tossed it aside. Went to the market to buy things for dinner. Be back soon. –Tetsuya. He'd written an almost identical note earlier and it has joined the pile of rejected ones for seeming too brief, but it would have to do. Tetsuya disposed of the failed attempts in the garbage can, and left the final one out where Kasanoda would be sure to see it. He sighed and grabbed his jacket and the scarf Kasanoda had given him one Christmas. He chuckled lightly to himself. All of that time and wasted paper just to leave a note that he wasn't entirely satisfied with after all.

Kasanoda wasn't really that far away when Tetsuya was having his note-writing crisis. In fact, he was within sight when he left for the supermarket. He was sitting underneath a tree, reading a book he'd tracked down in the school library. He saw Tetsuya walk off with that faint smile of his. He thought it was amazing that Tetsuya's face naturally relaxed into a smile, even when he was sleeping(er, not that he'd ever watched Tetsuya sleeping, of course). Tetsuya was the kind of person who had to make a conscious effort to display a negative countenance. Kasanoda had a secret envy for that, seeing as his own resting expression was something to be feared. Perhaps Tetsuya was like that because he truly had no deep-seated worries about life. Maybe he was truly a person at peace.

Of course, Kasanoda had no idea how wrong he really was.

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Oh, look… he's sleeping. Tetsuya had just returned for the supermarket, and happened to glance in the direction of the tree that Kasanoda was dozing under. Surely he hadn't come out here with the intention of taking a nap. For one thing, he wasn't in the most comfortable position, and for another, he'd left a book sitting open on its pages. Kasanoda knew better than to treat a book so harshly. It must have merely slipped out of his hand when he unexpectedly fell asleep. Tetsuya smiled softly and marked the page by slipping a fallen leaf between the pages and set it on its cover. Its cover… oh, it was a book of European poetry. That's just like Waka, he thought with a grin.

Kasanoda looked so peaceful sleeping there like that, even if his expression still wasn't relaxed. Maybe even in his sleep, Kasanoda had something disturbing him. Maybe he still wasn't really happy, despite all of Tetsuya's labor to preserve his peace of mind. Laying his jacket over Kasanoda's shoulders, Tetsuya headed in to start dinner.

But he, too, could hardly have been more wrong.

Tetsuya had one stinging thorn set deeply in his heart, and he simply had a smiling face that would not betray that.

Kasanoda was relatively free of worries, and was truly as a place where he was enjoying his life. He simply had a harsh expression that masked his contentment.

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What the—oh. I fell asleep…? Kasanoda awoke and sat up straight, causing Tetsuya's jacket to slip off of his shoulders and land in his lap. Oh, that was ni—wait. Tetsuya's jacket? Kasanoda scratched the back of his head. Suddenly, the thought sunk in completely, and slowly, hesitantly, he looked to his right. The book! He opened it to see his page reserved with a small leaf, stem laid across the spine of the book. Blood rushed to Kasanoda's face. Tetsuya had covered him up to keep him from catching a cold… did that mean he'd seen the book, too? How embarrassing. Kasanoda massaged his forehead in hopes of discouraging the hint of a headache that was trying to settle there. He was just glad that Tetsuya wasn't there when he discovered all of this, or he might have shown his scary face again.

Oh, something smelled really good… his cooking, for sure. That thought chased away any traces of an on-coming headache in an instant. Better head in, then.

"Waka!" Tetsuya smiled welcomingly, untying the apron from his waist.

"Hey," Kasanoda muttered, turning away to hide his embarrassment. It had been a long time since he'd shown his "scary face" and was doing his best to hide his emotions in other ways. To his surprise, though, he turned to see a magnificently elaborate spread on the table. "Whoa… what's all this?"

"Oh, I guess I may have gotten a little carried away. Marutomi extended their annual sale, so I decided to make us a feast tonight! Is that okay?"

Kasanoda snuck a peek over his shoulder at Tetsuya's grinning face. Curiously, he seemed to be forcing the usual enthusiasm. "You didn't have to go to all the trouble, Tetsuya."

"It's okay. I made some new things that I think you might like. So, shall we eat?"

Sure enough, something didn't seem quite right. Tetsuya's voice was higher than usual and had a vague airy sound to it, but he seemed to be trying to cover it up.

"Right. Let's eat." Kasanoda playfully threw Tetsuya's jacket at him. He caught it just in time and chuckled good-naturedly. "Thanks… for that."

"Of course."

Kasanoda has truthfully never seen such a feast in all his life. The usual miso was the only familiar item on the table. The main dish was some sort of breaded fish decorated with sliced lemons. There were scalloped potatoes in a white cream sauce sprinkled with cilantro, and a huge plate piled with slices of every exotic fruit Kasanoda could not name. A distinct smell of freshly-baked bread overwhelmed his senses, too. Just how long was I asleep, he wondered. He was able to make all of this?

The taste was true to the brilliant presentation of the food. The fish(almond-crusted, not breaded, Kasanoda realized) was so flavorful and fresh that he felt as though he could eat it every day for the rest of his life and never tire of it. The sweet bread rolls were of a melt-in-your-mouth quality. Everything was cooked to absolute perfection, but the biggest treat was the fruit spread. The variety was overwhelming, but Kasanoda soon picked a favorite.

"What's this called?" he asked, taking a bite out of a bright orange colored fruit that has a smooth, soft texture and a sweet taste.

"It's a sharon," Tetsuya responded. "I like them a lot. Do you like it too, Waka?"
He nodded.

"Good. I'll buy one again sometime."

Sure enough, Kasanoda thought again. He'd been to involved in eating to pay much attention to Tetsuya for awhile, but now it was becoming obvious again. Every time Tetsuya spoke, his voice sounded weaker, his forced enthusiasm less believable.

"Are you…" he began, not sure exactly how to ask.

"Hm?" There was that forced enthusiasm from Tetsuya again.

"Is something wrong, Tetsuya?"

He looked taken aback. "No, I'm fine! Why do you ask?"

The way he'd answered confirmed Kasanoda's suspicions. Anyone who was really alright wouldn't have answered so quickly and with so much emphasis, and might have said something along the lines of No, nothing is wrong. But Tetsuya had said I am fine, therefore focusing on himself.

"You… Tetsuya, do you not feel well?"

"Huh? I…" he seemed to be trying to buy himself some time.

"You've been pushing yourself too hard." Kasanoda's voice was uncharacteristically harsh. Tetsuya had never seen him be so perceptive, either. "Going to all this trouble, it's no wonder you'd catch a cold."

"That's not—I mean, you're right, Waka. It probably is a cold. I just… I already had all of this planned by the time I realized it. Now that it's finished, I can just clean up these dishes and then I'll take it easy. Okay?"

"I'll do the dishes. You should get to bed." This was even more out of character for Kasanoda. He was definitely in rare form. He almost seemed angry in his forcefulness as he guided Tetsuya off to his bedroom and made him lay down.

"Oh, but wait just a second." Kasanoda paused and seemed to be thinking hard about something.

"What is it?" Tetsuya's cheeks were the color of pomegranate(another fruit that had been on the table) in a combination of embarrassment and fever.

"Do you… are you okay sleeping like that?"

Tetsuya nodded. "I always sleep in my clothes."

"No, I mean… your hair…" It was still tied back in a ponytail. "Won't that be uncomfortable?"

Tetsuya sat up. "Oh, you're right. I almost forgot about it." Before he could do anything, though, he saw Kasanoda lift his hand in the corner of his eye, and felt a tug at the back of his head.

Soft golden hair spilled out over Tetsuya's shoulders, framing his thin face.

"I always wondered what it looked like when it's not tied back," Kasanoda mused, his voice shaking a little. The truth was, he almost looked like a girl. Like Cinderella, he couldn't help thinking. Color spread into his cheeks.

"Waka…" Tetsuya's heart was suddenly lively.

"What?" Kasanoda was clueless as ever. "Are you any worse? Maybe I should take your temperature."
"No, I'm fine, really!" he himself couldn't tell if his voice wavered because he was about to laugh or about to cry.

"You're really sure?"

"Yes. Even if I am sick… I haven't felt this happy in a long time."

What an odd thing to say, Kasanoda thought.

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ONCE AGAIN, the mention of fruit is not meant to be a pun. I'm sorry that it sounds so weird… I really didn't mean anything by it.

Moving on…

I had my share of hardships in writing this chapter, the main one being… my brother closing out of Microsoft word while I went upstairs for a moment and… not saving… causing me to lose about 400 words worth of work. Gah, had to do them over. .

Also, the whole time I was writing this chapter, I just wanted to get to that last part. It made me very impatient, so I had to go take a break to prevent the whole chapter from seeming rushed. Blah. So I remembered this song… it's called "Stay" by Joy Williams. The lyrics are about slowing down and not rushing off someplace and whatnot… I thought it might inspire me. And oh boy, did it! Not only did it inspire me to take my sweet time making this chapter nice, I realized that the lyrics really suit my dear TetsuKasa pairing. It kind of became their theme song, and I listened to it on repeat while writing. It's a lovely song. If you haven't heard it and want to, please message me and I will see to it that you hear it as soon as possible. )

Now, c'mon, I know a lot of you have probably been inspired by music, too. Care to share your stories with me?

Oh yeah, one more note about this chapter. Has anyone else had a sharon before? They're delicious, and I got to taste one for the first time over the holidays. I've been told it's a type of kaki(persimmon), but I've never been able to find one at a market anywhere. They must be rare.

The next chapter will be very exciting due to the ingenious musings of one Hayai Akurei. Now that Tetsuya's bedridden, what's a clueless Kasanoda to do? I hope you'll read next time. (smile)

And as always, share your requests, critiques, random comments, etc… Your reviews and messages are my life energy!