A/N:: Oh gosh, over thirty reviews! 8'D I reached over thirty reviews in four chapters! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, you guys keep me going. (I know, I said that many times, but I mean it!) Many love to all of you, and I'll personally respond to each review from the previous chapter.

So, let's get started, shall we?

Disclaimer:: Gotta stop forgetting to put this in here. e.e I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any outside sources mentioned throughout my fanfiction.

I was never going to look at Sebastian the same way ever again.

That one hour with him constantly smothering me and petting my fur as I was helpless in a small form of a kitten was more torturous than anything I have ever been through in my life; well, perhaps not as bad as the one time with the corset…

Regardless, being unable to do a thing besides meow and hiss at Sebastian and only being coddled in response was just too damn infuriating and humiliating for my tastes. If there was ever a "heaven" for demons, Sebastian's would surely be filled to the brim with cats.

…Damn cat freak.

Pointedly I avoided him for quite some time after that, unable to look at him in the eyes again after being reduced to such a lowly creature and behaving like a pet. It was so embarrassing having him look at me with such a gaze… A soft, adoring… almost loving…

STOP IT. There is NO WAY that Sebastian-!

Thoughts that I did not want to think about always found their ways into my head. Sebastian's face appeared in my mind at the worst of times and made me babble like an idiot whenever Sebastian would ask why my face would suddenly turn beat red. Then he would smirk at me, narrow his eyes in a way that made my stomach churn, and turn his head away with a soft, "Very well," and say no more.

He. Was. Driving. Me. INSANE.

Hell, I was driving MYSELF insane!

My sanity was slowly crumbling beneath my feet. I was slowly running out of options of where to go. What will happen when the ground caves beneath me? Where will I fall?

More importantly… Would Sebastian fall with me?

"Young master, it is time to awake." A quick flash of light invaded my sweet and calm thoughts and stirred me from my "slumber"; since I was already technically asleep, instead of "sleeping" in this world I would allow myself the freedom to dream a little more peacefully and meaninglessly. What Sebastian did during those times was beyond my comprehension or concern.

I grumbled softly as I slowly sat up and rubbed at my eyes, glancing over at the smiling butler as he tied back the curtains of the windows in my bedroom to allow the imaginary sunlight to flow in. "Must I continue to wake early? There is nothing else to do in this day besides your demented lessons."

"My 'demented lessons', as you say, are only for your best interest."

"That's a lie and you know it."

Sebastian's face contorted to one of false hurt, looking upon me with such eyes that were so deceiving and yet truthful all the while. "I don't lie, my lord. You know that quite well whatever leaves my mouth is the complete truth."

I sat up and grabbed my eye patch from the bedside table. "Yet it is never 'complete', is it? You hide many things from me." I glared at him as I tied the string around my head that held my eye patch in place. Sebastian moved towards the wardrobe and retrieved my clothes for the day.

"Yes, I do hide a few things," he replied honestly. "However… is it not more interesting, my lord?" His lips curved into a smirk as he returned back to my side like a faithful dog. I felt the urge to shift away from him, to create space as he began to undress me from my night shirt. "To constantly have something to aim for, a little mystery to boggle your mind…" He tilted his head to the side slightly as he knelt in front of me on the floor. "If it did not entertain you, my lord, then you would have surely ordered me to tell you everything I knew a long time ago… Correct?"

I stared down at him before stubbornly turning my head away, ignoring the shivers that ran down my spine as I felt his gloved hands brush over my skin. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right (as always); trying to figure out what he was thinking was both infuriating and interesting, like constantly attempting to pick the same lock with a million different keys. One key would open the safe and reveal to me everything I wanted to know… yet there were many keys that only led me in circles and left me to try again.

Each time I failed, I tried again and again and again… It gave me something to do and think about in this endless void. If I didn't focus on one thing and just went about time with nothing to do I would have surely gone stir-crazy.

I glanced back at Sebastian only to see him watching me patiently and expectantly as he waited for an answer. "…I suppose it makes sense."

He nodded once and smiled at me in a way that sent my stomach tying in knots. "You understand then." Before helping me change he took my hand in his, still kneeling on the floor in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed, and kissed the back of it like a gentleman. "You should trust me, my lord. I only wish for your well-being."

I felt my face burn and yanked my hand free of his grasp. "Wh-What are you-?" For a moment I understood what he was talking about, and then he pulls THIS out!

Sebastian smirked and chuckled softly, finishing dressing me in an instant before standing to his feet. "My apologies. I lost myself to simple wishes." He bowed slightly with a polite smile curled on his face. "The first lesson today will begin when you are fully prepared. Please meet with me in the foyer when that time arrives."

I huffed and stood to my feet—infuriated at my own body for my sudden weak knees—and turned to head towards the door. "We might as well begin now."

"Very well." I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a soft breath flow across my ear as he whispered to me next, "Exspecto die cum Intellegat preciosus."

I turned sharply, clamping a hand over my ear with yet another burning flush upon my cheeks. "What does that mean?" I barely recognized the language in itself, let alone make out the simple words and their meaning.

Sebastian smirked down at me in amusement, his eyes wicked and playful. "Perhaps if you paid attention during Latin lessons in your human life, my lord, you might have known what I said." He stepped around me and stepped into the hall, heading towards the foyer and leaving me standing stupefied once again in the doorway.

Impatiently I followed after Sebastian to the foyer in silence that could almost be considered awkward, at least on my end of it. I was anxious to see what this challenge was and what exactly would be the rewards or punishment of losing. Would I be victorious this time, or would Sebastian win once again and have his own free wish? Would this game end today?

…Ironically I wanted it to end and not end at the same time.

Why were my own thoughts so conflicting? I never was this indecisive in the past before. I made my move without hesitation; if one would hesitate they would surely fall to defeat. Was I so off my game because my opponent was Sebastian?

"Young master." I looked up at Sebastian as he turned to face me. "You are rather silent today… Is something troubling you?"

"No. Why would something be troubling me?" He frowned a little, and for a moment he looked almost concerned. He took one step towards me, and on instinct I took a step back.

He sighed softly and reached a hand out towards me, palm up and completely innocent and inviting. "You have been acting rather strangely these past few days." When I made no move to take his hand he sighed again impatiently. "Please come here."

I grimaced and stayed rooted in my spot before hesitantly stepping towards him again, as if there was a simple pull that made me move. Lightly he grasped my shoulder beneath his hand, the other taking hold of my hand and almost playing with my fingers. My face flushed at the gentle gesture and I turned my head away from him despite the fact I knew he was staring at me.

"What is it that troubles you, my lord? You're very distant from me." I didn't exactly feel distant from him since our bodies were separated only by a few inches. Slowly the hand on my shoulder moved and grasped my chin, turning my face back to look up at him. The demon before me was staring at me with such a soft, gentle gaze filled with concern that it nearly wanted to make me vomit.

"I am simply being myself," I insisted, trying to calm myself down. I could feel my knees grow weak once again and my heartbeat picking up its beats with each second passing by.

Lightly Sebastian's finger pressed against my wrist for a moment. "Your pulse is rather high. Are you nervous?"

My jaw clenched with sudden apprehension as I tugged my hand free of him and pushed his hand away from my face. "Why would I be NERVOUS? There is absolutely NOTHING here that should affect me more than normal!"

Obediently Sebastian released me, but didn't step aside. "More than normal…?" He frowned a little and stared at my face before slowly smiling. "Ah. I see."

"…See what?"

"Nothing at all."

"…You've got to be KIDDING me. Enough with these deceptions! What is it you see?" What could he have possibly seen from just LOOKING at me?

Sebastian chuckled softly and shook his head, turning away and walking towards a large mirror that hung on the wall. "Nothing to concern yourself about, young master. These emotions are certainly normal for you, and I'm not surprised to see you so tense and irritable lately. And your sleep has been affected… It's quite amusing, actually." I could see in the reflection of the mirror the smirk on his face and the pleased look in his eyes. "I am very flattered."

Flattered? What on earth would he feel flattered about? I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and scream at the top of my lungs in frustration. Somehow HE knew EXACTLY what was going on with me while I am still in the dark about absolutely everything! "You are the most INSUFFERABLE, INFURIATING, son of a BITCH DEMON THAT I HAVE EVER MET!"

"How kind of you to say that, my lord, but perhaps you should mind your language." Sebastian laughed softly and turned around, a thoroughly amused smile on his face.

"I. HATE. You." I wanted to wring his neck. I wanted to punch him in the face, rip his hair out one strand at a time, tear that smirk off of his face, rip off BOTH of his arms and legs and toss the last bits and pieces of him into the farthest and deepest pit of hell.

And he just…kept…LAUGHING. "What is so GOD DAMNED FUNNY," I shrieked at the top of my lungs, storming over to him and grabbing him by the front of his coat and yanking him down so we were face to face.

Sebastian blinked in slight surprise at my actions, but the smirk returned just as quickly as it had disappeared. I gasped sharply when I was suddenly spun around with my back to his chest and turned to face the mirror. One of his arms snaked around my waist while the other crossed over my chest and held my chin in place so I couldn't look away. I could see and feel him as he slowly pressed the side of his face against mine and his lips to my ear.

"You amuse me, Ciel Phantomhive," he whispered softly, his eyes staring straight into mine through the mirror. "So reclusive yet so open as a book…Pure, yet the most tainted soul I have ever come across in my eternal lifetime…" His voice was a low purr in my ear and almost hypnotic. I couldn't turn my eyes away from his or find the strength to break loose of his grasp. "Do you realize it yet? We are simply made for one another."

Made for…?

I stared into our reflections, which might as well have been a hanging portrait with how still we both were. Sebastian still stared at me through the reflection, his eyes beginning to glow around the rim and his pupil slitting in the center that revealed his true nature. As if his energy was calling out to mine, my own eyes began to glow as well. I could vaguely see the faint outline of the contract in my right eye shine through the eye patch I wore.

Made for each other… Somehow, those words seemed… right…

Slowly I reached a hand up to Sebastian's face next to mine, watching the demon's gaze carefully as if I was waiting for him to disapprove of such a weak and near desperate gesture. He didn't move and just watched me as my fingers slowly traced over his jaw with feather-light touches and move along to his cheek. My breath stopped in my chest as Sebastian turned his head and pressed his cheek into my palm.

He stared at me, the wicked amusement and pleasure in his crimson eyes softening into something more genuine and solid. His smirk lessoned into a lighter smile that spoke soft words without even moving. His arm around my waist tightened a little and pressed me back closer to him.

I was at a loss of words, watching his almost peaceful expression as his eyes slid shut. "…S…Sebastian…" Slowly I turned my head a little and looked up at him just as he opened his eyes and looked back at me. I felt my face flush a little as we stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity, neither of us moving or uttering a single word.

Slowly his head began to move down closer to mine. I could feel his cool and intoxicating breath fall over my face. My eyes slid shut and my hand slowly moved from his face to tangle lightly in his hair. Again I whispered his name in broken, shaky breaths and my hand slid from his hair towards the back of his neck.

All at once, it stopped.

Sebastian tensed and reached up, taking my hand in his and moving it away. I opened my eyes in shock and stared up at him with wide eyes as he moved his head back. The soft expression on his face was hidden behind his mask of politeness and perfection.

"Ah. It seems I've allowed us to fall behind." Lightly he patted the back of my hand as if I was some child before letting it go. My arm fell back down limply to my side as I continued to stare at him as if he had just slapped me across the face. "Forgive me, my lord. It's rather unlike me to allow us to become so distracted." Sebastian released me completely from his grasp and stepped away, pulling out his pocket watch from his coat pocket and checking the time. "We must begin soon, before we fall even more behind the clock." He turned around and headed towards the front door, completely composed as if nothing had just happened at all.

What was this sudden cold and numbing feeling? I couldn't… I wasn't feeling rejected was I? Slowly I turned my face back to stare into the mirror. My eyes shifted back to their normal cobalt blue, and I was startled to see that I couldn't lie to myself; clearly I could see the pain of rejection and frustration in my reflection.

Why did Sebastian just turn from me so suddenly and leave me standing there? Did I do something wrong? Did he just come to his senses and realize that it was me he was staring at? I bit my lip a little and shut my eyes tightly to hide away from my reflection.

Nothing… It was nothing… Nothing happened. I felt nothing, as did he.

I could only hope I could one day convince myself that that was true.

"Young master?" Sebastian stood by the door, waiting for me patiently. "Is everything well with you?"

"…Yes." Relief poured over me at the sound of my own voice steady and firm despite the turmoil that was coursing through my veins. I opened my eyes without looking at the mirror again and followed Sebastian outside into the court yard.

As Sebastian explained the terms of today's lesson I forced myself to pay attention. It was a test of my own endurance again, except now it was purely physical; a race from one place to another, running and doing whatever was possible to beat the other to the finish line. In this case, it was the "barrier" that served as the end of my "world". Beyond that, I would truly awake from my slumber somewhere in the pits of Hell.

As always, any methods were open to use, cheating included.

Sebastian could see that I was frustrated with what had happened before, but honestly could he blame me? The way he stared at me, the way that we looked at one another… Did he feel nothing? Was he that disgusted that I couldn't give him my soul anymore? Was everything, these little games and his subtle teasing and romancing… was it just his little plot to get back at me?

As the race began I ran as fast as I could through the forest and towards the barrier, managing to keep my balance and not trip over anything, but my heart was not in winning. I was too focused on what had happened to even care about the race.

With that thought, I came to an abrupt halt and stood alone in the forest that was far too silent for my own liking. "Let him win," I muttered to myself bitterly. "He can continue to play his stupid games. It doesn't matter to me anymore." Who cares about whatever deal we made? Who cares about that demon at all?

If all I got out of this stupid world was heartbreak, then what was the point in continuing?

My mind was near frantic, and suddenly my body began to follow suit. My head began to pound and my heart was speeding up and damn-near screaming in pain. I let out a weak gasp of air and shuddered, bracing myself back against a tree. It was too much… The pain in my heart, my frantic thoughts…

Around me my "world" shifted to match my thoughts instead of a dream.

Was this what happened when one had a nightmare?

When the pain stopped slowly and left me feeling numb I opened my eyes again, only to be hit by a wave of overwhelming heat. My eyes were blinded by the light of crimson flames, engulfing my surroundings.

I was standing in the hall of the mansion. I could hear the screams and frantic cries of the servants, all running around and trying to escape their inevitable fate. The portraits that hung on the wall burned, and some of the paint even began to melt off the canvas and drip down the wall as if the paintings were bleeding. Any flowers in the vases that lined the hall, once bringing a wonderful scent that comforted anyone who passed by, were burned to ashes and turned the vases into charcoal urns.

"Mother! Father!" My eyes darted to the side as a small boy ran past me, screaming for his parents and trying to avoid running into the fire that was engulfing everything in its path. He was young, only ten years old. His wide cobalt blue eyes were overflowing with terrified tears that ran down his small face. His front was covered with blood, no doubt from hugging the dead corpse of his beloved dog that would have been found downstairs in another room.

That boy was me.

I was reliving a memory, but as a passerby instead of myself. I was watching it as if I was watching a death god's cinematic record after it reaped another soul.

I turned and ran after my younger self, coming to the end of the hall just as he pushed opened the burning door. I could see inside, the corpses of my mother and father burning to ashes together and dying together.

Would it have been better if I had also died with them?

The memory shifted without warning, moving forward into the future. I stood in a round, circle room with stares that went up the sides and benches that went around the circle as if it was a small arena. Cages were in the center, packed with too many bare and broken children huddled together in pure fear. I could see myself in one of the cages, lying on the ground in a ball with empty eyes. Seeing myself like that, huddled and afraid, sickened yet amazed me that I was still able to keep some shred of will in the end.

The doors opened with a loud slam. People in black robes and masks filed in, some taking seats on the benches and others going straight to the center. A slab of stone was in the center, and when I looked down I could see that a pentagram with archaic writing was drawn all over the center.

My stomach sickened and twisted painfully as I watched the man pull me out of the cage and drag me over to the slab of stone. I was kicking and screaming, still trying to fight even though I had been branded and beaten to the near point of death. The other children weakly watched until the other men rolled their cages out of the circle and away to be locked in the shadows and away from the sun.

I was pinned onto the stone with a red cloth draped over my lower half, doing little to protect my body. I was the sacrificial lamb in this ceremony, and as the head of the ground began to chant in an old dead language and take a large dagger, my screaming was echoing off the walls.

"SOMEONE! HELP ME! ANYONE!" I felt physically ill and terrified to my own bones, even though it had already happened and I was safe at the point in time.

The man raised the dagger with a sadistic grin and plunged it into my chest violently and spurting blood out everywhere, coating himself and my body in the crimson paint and dripping onto the ground. My screaming stopped, blood flooding from my mouth and making me choke, and my eyes were slowly going dark.

I was dying.

But then he came.

A second later the pentagram glowed brightly with a dark and menacing light. Everyone jumped back and tried to run. The few torches in the room that gave light were blown out with a sudden cold wind, and I could hear the blood-curdling and horrified screams of the people all being slaughtered mercilessly.

My eyes were able to see everything. I could see the demon that I had unleashed onto those people; the toothy grin, the glow of his eyes, the dark feathers and the shadows that licked up his body like a second skin. It was disgusting, horrifying and terrible and at the same time beautiful and hypnotizing. I was unable to look away as he finished off every living being in the room, coating the walls and floor in blood. The scent was heavy, and I knew it very well; one never forgets the scent of death.

My younger self was awake again, healed from the fatal wound and looking up at the demon with one hand over his right eye that now bore the devil's mark. The demon stared down at his new prey with a long and wicked smirk, dripping with blood and eyes hungry and absolutely evil.

And yet to me, he was more a savior than God ever was.

The memory shifted again and again, sorting through each of the moments of my human life. Taking over as the Earl of Phantomhive, creating the Funtom Toy Company, allowing the previous people of my life back in — few as they were— and meeting new allies that would become the pawns that I controlled. I relived the death of my own aunt, the challenges I was pushed through as the Queen's guard dog, and my own first "death".

It didn't stop after that. I saw how Claude Faustus stole my soul right from Sebastian's grasp and how I was sealed inside my own ring. I saw how Sebastian took care of my body and hid it inside a trunk that he carried with him where ever he went. I saw how I was reawakened again with the ring on my finger, but lacked the memories of my own previous life. From there Sebastian took care of me like everything was absolutely normal, slowly guiding me to regain my memories all the while fighting off Alois Trancy and his own demon butler.

The final few…

Was it bad of me to feel hurt at the sight of Sebastian's nearly horrified face as Hannah told him that I would be awakened as a demon?

Was I in the wrong place to believe for a moment that Sebastian might have wanted to continue to serve at my side?

Was everything we've been through… just not enough?

I watched numbly as he punched me through the stomach when I first opened my red eyes, ironically very similar to when I first was stabbed and he was there to save me; this time however it was to see for himself if I really was a demon. From them on, there were subtle ways of seeing the strain this new change was putting on us. He tried to nearly strangle me with the own ribbon around my neck, and I had just asked him if he could tie it even tighter. He replied with a simple, "No," and continued on with his work with no smile.

Seeing him like stone killed me. Did he hate me that much? That was what drove me to such great despair and anger at him and want him to just take my soul and finish this.

…Yet… there I stood, still very much alive.

When my memories ended, I stood in perpetual darkness with nothing but shadows around me. I stared down at my hands, trying to put the pieces together. Ever since that night, Sebastian had stayed by my side. He helped me and pushed me towards my goal—our goal. No matter how coarse I was with him, no matter how cruel, he would stay with me. I knew that it was because he wanted my soul, but… if he wanted my soul so much, then I would be dead right then.

He didn't kill me when he had the chance, and he had hundreds of chances.

My mind bounced back and forth between ideas:

He wanted my soul.

He wanted me.

He was just looking for revenge and torturing me.

He wanted ME.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled out in frustration to try to see if it made me feel any better, but it only made me all the more distraught. I had no idea what he wanted, but I knew what I wanted.

I WANT SEBASTIAN!

My world was falling apart and everything hurt. I was alone, frightened, pained and yet… overjoyed. Why was I happy, even just a little? Was I relieved? Was I happy to finally know SOMETHING that made sense?

I wanted Sebastian. I wanted to be with him all the time. I wanted that frustrating smirk, those taunting eyes, those deceptive touches, those warm smiles and that affectionate gaze… I wanted him. I needed him.

My world was falling apart. The ground beneath me has broken. I was falling deep into the shadows, all alone and screaming. Falling, screaming, crying…

Where was Sebastian to fall with me?

A/N:: I'm evil. I know I am. I'm SORRY but I HAD to have at least one cliffhanger in this story. xD Please don't kill me! I'll make sure to get the next chapter out as soon as possible!

I really like how this chapter came out. o 3 o This is one of my more emotional chapters and I could just feel Ciel's poor conflicting thoughts twisting my heart around. I hope reading might have done the same for you guys!

Well, now he knows why Sebastian has been driving him crazy. ;3 Teehee!

Also, the little latin that Sebastian whispers… Well, maybe I shall leave that to my own little secret and let Sebastian tell the next chapter? ;3 I'll leave it up to him.

Now to reply to all you awesome people who reviewed chapter 4. =3=

Renkin-chan: Thank you so much! I noticed that a lot of people didn't really write about demon Ciel, so I was so tempted to write something. xD Especially what he thought about Sebastian becoming so cold to him. Thank you for your review! =3= Much love~

Unknow1: Hehe, glad to see you liked kitten Ciel. I tried to avoid the cliché of Ciel as a kitten, but I couldn't resist putting in a LITTLE bit. xD

Jillkun-ness: Isn't he just? ;3 But that's what makes him adorable~ Thank you for your support, and I'll certainly keep up with updating!

Pewpew1337: O/O Really, your reply made me blush. I'm so flattered! 8'D Writing is always one of my little hobbies, but to think you think I'm so good that I'll someday get a book out… Well, I certainly hope I might! Thank you so much, your review really made my day!

M.: Aw~ I'm glad I was able to make YOU happy as well! That's always a good pick-me-up in the day. =3= I always take appreciation for what people say, but your review just hit me the hardest and left the biggest impression. I'm glad you loved chapter four! I try my hardest to portray the thoughts and emotions the best I can (one of the reason why I often write in first person). I think the emotions that we don't get to see are one of the most important parts of any story. And yes, poor Ciel, but Sebastian certainly didn't mind~ ;3 Thank you for the review and hugs~!

Yuuki-Ravna: Yes, Ciel will often be put to the torture that is Sebastian's love of kitties. =3= At least, if I have any say about that~ Thank you for the love! *sends lots of love*

Kyzara77: I had to end it in some humorous note. =3= The urge to make Ciel become a kitty at least once was just far too powerful to ignore. And I suppose you can say I'm similar to Sebastian, having fun playing around with people. ;D Hehe, kidding! But it's always fun to play around with your characters. Thank you for the review~!

The Three March Hares: Aww! I hope you found a nice kitty! I actually had a black and white cat that they called a Tuxedo cat, and I called him my little butler cat. We recently had to put him to sleep though. ;~; Very sad, but he was old and not doing so well so it was the best decision… Anyone, on a less depressing note! I'm happy I was able to make your day brighter by updating. =3=

TheLadyBluebird: I might put in a little sequel with kitty Ciel and Sebastian, but it would more than likely be in a oneshot separate. But I'll be sure to leave a link if I do! ;3 I thought the lessons would be a fun idea and a playful way to make this more than just a oneshot. =3= Thank you for your review~!

Totalamuto: Hm, is that username reference to Shugo Chara by any chance? ;D Hehe, sorry, random thought. =3= Yes, Sebastian has many interesting fetishes that I just love to torture introduce Ciel to~

Dreamgirl96: Glad Sebastian was able to make you laugh! He takes much pleasure in that. ;3 *gaspeth* Dun read fanfiction during class! Especially rated M ones! xD Hehe, kidding, but make sure you don't get caught missy~! Thank you for your review!

A/N:: Well that's all the reviews! Thank you again for all your wonderful comments! I hope you guys continue to read. And don't worry; we're soon coming to the fun parts. ;3