Disclaimer~ I DON'T OWN NARUTO!
A place I can call home.
Chapter 3
My Wonderful Home of S-Ranked Criminals….I'm Doomed.
I squinted my eyes open as light flooded my vision. My head still felt as if someone was beating it with a hammer. As my senses were slowly coming back to me, I heard voices in the background. For a moment, I couldn't remember where I was or how I got there. Then I recalled my journey with Kisame to the mysterious cave and the good-for-nothing angel. I blinked a couple of times to get the sleep out. I squinted as light hit my eyes and let them adjust. As soon as it did, I realized one whole side of room was just glass. The room I was in was at least 53 floors above the ground and there was rows and rows of skyscrapers and buildings outside. Dark storm clouds swarmed above them with an occasional flicker of lightning. I looked around the luxurious room and found an enormous bookshelf filled with books, a dresser, a desk with a laptop on it, a 42 in. plasma screen T.V, and a huge Uchiha clan symbol right above the bed I was laying in.
There were 3 doors, one larger than the other 2.
"What is this place?" I thought to myself.
I got up and realize that my Anbu vest, arm guards, sword, and ninja pouch had been removed and was sitting on a night stand. I walked tentatively through the dark room towards the larger door. I carefully grabbed the doorknob and slightly opened it, still cautious. The room was shaped like a U and there were 10 doors and a hallway. I peeped my head out, looked around and quietly began walking down the small hallway. I heard a door creek open behind me and found someone very familiar. It was Kisame and he was holding cards in his hand.
"Oh, I'm glad to see you're up. Come on and meet the Akatsuki." he said as he grabbed my arm and began dragging me through the hallway. He let me go and sat down on a sofa. This was the living room and there were people sitting on sofas that surrounded a table. I looked to my right and again I saw the one side of the room was glass but this time it had a small balcony. Everyone one's faces were familiar and I knew all of their names too thanks to the Bingo Book. I spotted a face, well a mask to be exact, I met before I annihilated by clan. He wasn't in the Bingo Book but I knew exactly who he was. The masked member was acting strangely though as if he was 5 years old. I spotted Lord Pein and he wasn't like a hologram anymore.
"What the f***? That's not f***ing fair!" a foul-mouthed guy with silver hair wailed. His name was Hidan and he really should consider washing his mouth with a bar of soap.
"Yes it is. Aces beats queens and these cards are made of paper, therefore, I can't loose." a lady with beautiful blue hair who was sitting next to Lord Pein replied.
"Just because it's paper doesn't mean you can win, un!" a blonde member with bangs spat. You couldn't tell by looking at him if he was male or female. Again, according to the Bingo Book, it said he was male which is kind of hard to believe. Well, looks can be deceiving.
"Guys! Itachi-chan is awake now! She's right there you know." Kisame announced.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at me. Everything was dead silent. Remember those seagulls in 'Finding Nemo' that go "Mime mime…mime mime mime!" and stare at you when you have food or something? Well, this situation was kind of like that.
"Guys, this is Itachi Uchiha, our newest member. Be nice! Itachi, have a seat next to Kisame." he announced. I walked over and sat on the sofa next to Kisame. A member that looked like an oversized venus fly trap raised his hand as if he were waiting to be called on to ask a question.
"No, Zetsu, she is not food, therefore, you may not eat her. I know she's seems like food to you but she's one of the last remaining Uchiha so you really can't eat her." as soon as he finished Zetsu put his hand down. A second later, everyone raised their hand except for the Lady next to Lord Pein and Kisame. With a sigh, Lord Pein began to answer all of their questions without even calling on them to see what their question was.
"Hidan, you may not sacrifice her to Jashin and-"
"It's Jashin SAMA.' Hidan cut him off.
"Whatever, and Sasori, you may not turn her into a puppet or poison her. Kakuzu, you may not sell her. Deidara, you may not blow her up. And Tobi you idiot, YOU DEFFINATELY MAY NOT GO AROUND SMACKING PEOPLE IN THE HEAD WITH A BANANA AND YELL 'TOBI IS A GOOD BOY' WITH HER! GOD DAMNIT, WE DISCUSSED THIS BEFORE AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU!" the leader snapped.
"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY" Tobi cried.
"F**K!" Hidan spat.
"What he said. And eating her, turning her into a puppet, sacrificing her, and blowing her up is such a waste! Who knows how much money we can get by selling one of the last Uchiha!" Kakuzu protested.
"UNN!" Deidara exclaimed. Soon all of the Akatsuki members started to protest at the same time. Tobi didn't know what to do so he just started to yell "TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" a bunch of times. Sasori wasn't saying anything though, he was just sitting there picking his nose while a termite crawled out. "Seriously? You have got to be kidding me. I have to live with these idiotic so-called 's-ranked criminals'? My life is going to be just wonderful…" I thought to myself as I stared at the yelling Akatsuki with a horrified look on my face.
"SHUT UP YOU RETARDS!" Lord Pein finally snapped silencing everyone.
"Oooo! Ooooo! Tobi's got something to say! Here goes… I like cute kitty cats and TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi broke the silence.
"Anyway, if you're going to act like retards than I should just make you all clean out Fluffy's tank with him inside it! You are all S-RANKED CRIMINALS, not children! I suggest you start behaving better or else I'll get pissed off and you know what happens when I do." the frustrated leader lectured. Sasori, who was picking his nose, stopped and nodded his head in agreement. Another termite crawled out of his ears and he squashed it making a nasty crunchy sound.
"Tobi wants a cookie! And Tobi is a good-"
"SHUT UP, UN" Deidara cut Tobi off before he could say boy and kicked him across the room. Everyone just watched him fly across the room and hit the wall and land on facedown on the floor. He sat up and cried out loud.
"Tobi, if you're going to cry then go to you're room, now!" Lord Pein ordered. The childish member got up and went down the hall to go to his room. There was an awkward silence except for the sound of rain hitting the window and the sound of Tobi mourning in his room.
"Now that that's over with." Lord Pein murmured. He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and squinted so he could try to decipher it.
"No that's not it." he threw the paper away and began digging in his pocket. He pulled out a yoyo, and threw that away, followed by a chakra rod, a shuriken, a kunai, a half eaten lollipop and last but not least, a book called 'Make Out Paradise.'
"Ah, Ha!" he said satisfied and began to read which caused another awkward silence. The blue haired lady nudged him with an elbow and cleared her throat.
"What? Oh, right, sorry. Itachi, since you were in the Anbu, you already know the people here but you'll get an introduction anyway. So allow me to introduce you to these buffoons." he stated formally. He began his introduction and I shook hands with each member that he mentioned. When he finished he brought up Tobi.
"The man-baby that you just saw getting kicked across the room was Tobi. He's got some mental issues so don't mind him. Kisame will be your partner and that's why I sent him to fetch you. The room you woke up in is all yours. Oh and you're clothes are in your closet so you might want to change. Your Akatsuki ring is on your dresser, you wear that on your right ring finger." he stated.
"Thank you." I gave him a curt nod and went back inside my room and locked the door. The ring was on the dresser just as he had said. It was a silver ring with a scarlet circle on it with a shu sign. I opened one of the smaller doors and found a bathroom.
"At least I won't have to share a bathroom." I thought satisfied. I headed towards the other door and when I opened it, I found a bunch of Akatsuki uniforms and a bunch of casual clothes. Since none of the Akatsuki members were wearing their uniform, I decided to pick out of black cargo shorts and a white button-down collared shirt. I headed for the shower and was glad to finally be out of my Anbu clothes.
(Readers, I hope you enjoyed.)