"Hey."

I rose my supple eyes to stare at the source of the voice, which was Lal herself, looking at me questioningly. Swiftly, I withdrew my gaze.

"Hey," I muttered softly, focusing my eyes at the small plant before me, pretending to examine it.

"Is something wrong?" she suddenly asked. "You've been quite a no-show for the past three days."

Meekly, I shook my head.

"Say, are you mad at me for refusing your invitation the other day? If that's the case, then I'm sorry, but, I've already told you that I was a bit busy, right? And, besides, a conflict suddenly came up . . ."

I forced a small smile as I shook my head again.

"Don't worry," I told her. "I'm not mad at you, kora."

She was still staring at me with fret, and I had no choice but to swerve the topic to something else.

"Those are really pretty, kora," I commented, gesturing at the pot of pink flowers she was holding. She followed my gaze, and smiled.

"Yeah? Thanks. A special person gave these to me . . ."

"Special?" I inquired, leaning onto my window shelf, showing a mask of interest. "Who are we talking about, kora?"

"My, uh, boyfriend."

My lower lip trembled for a short moment before I gave away a wolf whistle followed by a playful grin.

"Wo-wee, Lal!" I exclaimed as she blushed. "I never knew that, kora!"

"Well, it's not my hobby to talk about my lovelife and things like that . . ."

"So, what's he like, kora?"

"You know . . . perfect. He's like everything I could ever ask for in a guy, and, perhaps, even more. Or, maybe, I just feel that way because he's been there for me for as long as I could remember."

"Sounds like an awesome guy . . . I wonder if I could meet him, kora?"

It was then that she started fidgeting.

"Actually, he was here a while ago, but he had to come back to the hotel his dad was staying in to settle a few things, but, he'll be back perchance later."

"What's with the face, kora?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's just that things are becoming a bit complicated than I would've expected."

I couldn't agree with you more, I replied silently.

"Anyway," she continued. "Let's talk about you. What was going on, and you barely showed a face to anyone? Did something happen or what?"

"This is nothing, kora."

"No use lying to me, Colonello. I know when a man is not at his best. Are you sick or something?"

"I-I guess . . .?"

She looked at me as if there was something growing in my head. Then she sighed, boosted herself up her railings, and carefully stepped on the ledge.

"L-Lal, what are you doing, kora?"

"Oh, shut up," she yelled, vigilantly taking mince steps towards my window. "It's not like I've never done this before."

She was right. Like before, she was still able to move towards my place with ease. I breathed with reassurance as she reached out for a cable next to me, then stepped on my window ledge, and landed inside my room.

I looked at her grimly as she dusted herself off.

"You didn't have to come here, you know, kora."

"But, I'm already here, so deal with it." She straightened herself, and reached for my forehead, and then down to my cheeks. "You're kind of warm."

"I should be. It means I'm alive, kora."

"Someone's a clown," she grumbled as she grabbed my arm and dragged me towards my bed, pushing me violently into the white sheets.

"Ow, kora!"

I tried to sit up, but she stopped me with her hands, and demanded that I stay. Then she started scouring my place for a piece of hand towel and a basin of iced water. I was left with no choice but to just arrange myself and close my eyes.

It turns out I felt worse than I thought. By the time Lal returned with a washbasin filled with cold water and a towel, I was already shivering, but at the same time sweating like crazy. More often than not, I couldn't get what Lal was saying to me, and, to make matters worse, I couldn't move.

All the more did Lal insist that she stay despite my constant pleadings for her to go.

"Sorry about this, kora," I muttered when my body stopped quavering for a bit.

"It's okay," she whispered back, replacing yet again the towel on my head. "Take it as my way of paying you back for taking care of me back then."

A small chuckle came out of my throat.

"By the way, what were you doing? How'd you get this sick in a matter of three days?"

I shrugged, and then tried to look up at her, but to my surprise, I didn't see Lal, but rather, the tender and innocent face of Sheila.

"Sheila!" I cried as I sprang up, and pulled her towards me.

"C-Colonello!"

"So you really did come back for me . . . I missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again. You never gave me a chance to apologize to you, kora." I buried my face into her shoulder, and sobbed.

"I'm sorry. . ."

Two hands slid themselves into what small space I allowed between us, and they pushed me away. I looked at her. Her face began to blur, and soon, I found myself staring at a horror-stricken cobaltette.

"L-Lal, kora . . .?"

She didn't answer, and just looked away. I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and index finger, and then stared back at her.

Indeed, it was Lal.

"Y-you're . . ." My lower lip began trembling again and I bit it, so my eyes produced tears instead. "You're not Sheila, kora."

Frustration overwhelmed my whole being as I gripped whatever it was that was at my hands' reach and started to softly weep.

What was I thinking?

Lal can't be Sheila.

Sheila's not here anymore.

How many times did I have to instill that to myself? How many times did I have to wake up from my useless dreaming that she'll return and forgive me?

Reconciliation can never be earned at this rate. Not anymore. It was all too late, and my hope to love again is long gone.

I should have accepted that fact a long, long time ago. Long before I've met Lal.

Why can't I do that?

"S-sorry about that, kora," I sniffed as I felt my surroundings begin to shake. That is, as she clambered up and crawled towards me to reach for my dry cheek. I stared at her beautiful brown eyes, and almost couldn't help myself.

It was a good thing her voice stopped me before I could do something unthinkable.

"Is there something here that you want to say to me?" she asked, examining my ashen face. "Who's Sheila? And, why do you seem so desperate to see her?"

A cough reverberated from my lungs, as I fell down to her. Her body stiffened—I felt it—but nevertheless, I sensed her every movement as she tenderly laid me down again.

"Sorry," I muttered again. "But, you know you don't have to do this. I think you should leave before I do something wrong to you, kora."

"No," she refused. "Not until I can conclude to myself that you're feeling fine, and I've got news for you, boy, you are far from being fine to me."

I groaned, and then coughed a few times before snuggling myself deeper into my pillow.

"Are you still cold?" she continued, running her fingers through my hair.

"Yeah . . ."

"Then, maybe we should get your head out of it to make you feel better. What if we talk about this Sheila girl? I bet that would take your mind off appalling things."

"Heh, you loose that bet," I told her.

"Come on," she prodded, gently pushing my head. "I deserve to know."

"On what grounds, kora?"

"Can you see somebody else here who you can talk to? Besides . . . this little fella over here?" She pulled out a little blue seagull plushy from under my pillow and waved it in front of me.

"Give me that," I scoffed, reaching for it, but she pulled it away.

"I won't, unless you tell me."

I groaned as I rolled my eyes in false exasperation.

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that you'd be honest in giving your opinion when I ask you for it, kora."

"Okay," she shrugged. "Shoot."

I adjusted myself before speaking.

Then, I told her everything. Starting from where I came from, who Sheila was, how I met her, and why I've been acting weird by now.

Yeah, that's right. I've introduced to her the real me.

The monster that was named Colonello.

Every now and then, I'd notice different emotions passing by her eyes, but she didn't give much of a response, or any uneasiness. She just stared at me blankly, and, for some reason, comfortingly.

It made me feel better for a split second.

"Well, that's pretty much it," I've concluded. "I don't think I've missed anything significant, kora."

"So, what happened to her? This Sheila girl I mean."

"An old friend of mine told me once that she has been overseas to continue her studies, where she met another bloke whom she fell for . . . after at least six years of grieving, kora."

"So, she's happily married now or something?"

"Nope." I looked at her and gave a chaste smile. "She killed herself, kora."

She looked at me with both shock and fear. I had to at least chuckle by the way that she stared.

"Yeah, I know. Bitter way to end a life, huh? Well, I guess too much scars are still embedded in her pure, little heart when that guy came for her. Which is why when he did the same thing I did, she couldn't take it and chose to end her life instead, kora."

"That's kind of . . ."

"Disheartening, isn't it?" I asked. "Why else do you think would I feel so culpable to the point that she stays in my mind in my delirious states, kora?"

"Demoralizing as it is, it's still not your fault. It's not like you drove her to kill herself."

"True as that may be, there's still the fact that if only I apologized her and proved to her of my love, then maybe I would've been able to protect her from that other guy, kora."

She looked blandly at me.

"Do you still love her?"

"What, kora?"

"Let me rephrase that. Have you ever been in love with her?"

"What kind of question is that?" I scoffed. "Of course I do, otherwise why would I have this strange drive to kill myself as well just so I could be with her and protect her, kora?"

"Who knows?" she replied. "Perchance you may have just been overwhelmed with pity for her, or it could be that you were just, as you have said it, hypnotized with her naive blue eyes."

"I did love her, kora."

"Well, do you still love her up until now?"

I blinked at her, and then casted a sidelong glance.

"I doubt, kora." I looked back at her. "Well, what do you think?"

"Me? I think it's sweet of you to still have this urge to protect her even if she's on the other side of the world now. However, you're not being fair to yourself. She's gone now, and is probably happy wherever she is, and so should you. If you keep on convincing your heart that loving is never anymore essential, then you're just fooling yourself. Your heart needs, Colonello, and what it needs is love. The more you try to escape pain, the more will pain try and conquer you. Be a man, and try to face it. Sure, you could get hurt again, but that doesn't mean you don't have to stand up, and strive again."

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Take it easy," she whispered before leaning forward to give me another kiss on the forehead. Again the feelings of guilt and pleasure have begun to combine with one another to form a shapeless feeling that overpowers me.

How can I tell her that I already know of what she's telling me? It is true that my heart needs nothing but love; love that would come from someone like her, and she loves somebody else. How can I relive what is it that she is telling me when, in the end, I know that it can never be?

Oh, how I wanted to believe. How I desire to consider that these hands that are comforting me, voice that is soothing me, and eyes that are trying to convey a message to me were all mine to hold, to hear, and to see.

"Hey, Lal?" I called to her. "Thanks for this. You were right. It feels great to share things like this to someone, kora."

"I know what you mean," she giggled, resuming her affectionate gesture to my hair. "Hey, look. Your fever broke too."

I didn't bother answering anymore. My eyes have already closed and my mind had wandered off to dreamland; off to a place where I can call the things that do not belong to me as mine.

-FIN-

Ano . . . was Lal a little too OOC here? Sorry! I just had to do it!

Besides, Lal's a woman, so let's just pretend that her maternal instinct is what drives her to do those things for Colonello.

Okay, thanks for reading, though!

LoveLots~