A/N: Evenin folks. I know its been a while...Blah blah blah blah. What. Ever. News...all chapters will be named after an Ani Song. Figure it out yourselves.

Chapter 4: Swan Dive

"Ah another excellent feast, but before I send everyone of into the land of dreams, I have a few announcements to make, for all our first years and a few of us that like to forget the rules, the forbidden forest is out-of-bounds to any student who does not wish harm upon themselves, and there is a fresh list of contraband carefully provided by our caretaker Mr. Filch, it will be posted on his door for the rest of the year, I advise you all however, assume all Weasley products are banned. Except the Canary Creams as they make such an excellent treat," Dumbledore gleefully retorted. Harry and Ron proceeded to roll their eyes at Dumbledore's words, knowing them off by heart.

"And last, but not least, the Head Boy this year is to be Draco Malfoy, and the Head Girl is Lavender Brown, would both of you join me in my office after the feast so we can go over the details, That is all, everyone have a good nights rest, sleep tight." None of the 7th year Gryffindor's moved an inch except Lavender who ecstatically jumped up, a smug look pressed into her prim face, looks of outrage covered each of their faces and a angry whisper could be heard.

"Lavender, really, REALLY?' Harry's voice contorted in rage, 'why wasn't it you Mione? You are far more intelligent, brightest witch of our age!"

"Hmmm, yes, what Harry? Sorry?" Hermione whispered, coming out of her daze.

"I said, why weren't you made Head Girl, and why is that git Malfoy head boy?" Harry's voice rose an octave.

"I didn't want to be Head Girl, I received the letter two weeks ago, but I turned it down because I don't want the responsibility, and Malfoy, that I do not know," Hermione's voice broke in that moment, it was halved and she almost collapsed in a fit of tears. Ginny was the only one who noticed this, Harry oblivious to her pain, and Ron staring daggers at Malfoy. Ginny raised an eyebrow, noticing the shake of Hermione's shoulders, her soft ragged breath and the tears pooling in each corner of her warm hazel eyes; lightly grabbing her hand, Ginny smiled at Hermione, squeezing her fingers in comfort. 'Later' was her glance said, pain is what her eyes said, that and loss.

"Why Mione? Isn't that what you strived for?" Harry seemingly shouted. It was those words that snapped Hermione in half, her body suddenly hunched to cover herself, clutching her stomach in pain. She stood up, turning to look down at Harry,

"For your information Harry there is more to life than good grades and getting to be a prefect! You of all people should know that, and is it really any of your business?" Hermione spat back, her retort causing heads to turn in her direction. Grabbing her coat, she stomped off towards Gryffindor tower.

"Wonder what's got her knickers in a knot.." Ron mumbled after finally coming round to the scene playing out before him.

"Dunno mate," Harry said with the shrug. Ginny, however, stared at the empty space that had held Hermione's petite frame, brows knitted together in concern.

Herminoe's footsteps were heavy, her anger fanning in waves as she brushed past the hordes of students giggling and happy to be reunited with their friends. Echoing in her head were the combined voices of Harry and her mother, her mothers last words to her pulsing somewhere around her spine, forcing her bent pose, Harry's words causing an anger that was unfamiliar, vibrating through her core.

Reaching the portrait of the Fat Lady, Hermione was lost, she didn't know the password, her head swam with pain, her eyes blazed red, and she wanted was the bottle of rum stashed under her bed, a present from Char, a parting gift; at this Hermione snorted. 'Some parting gift, oh gee thanks-for-for-the-good-fuck, hope you have good life, here's a bottle of rum to ease your sorrows.'

Slumping against the wall Hermione fingered the crumpled note, the tears were threatening to overflow, and all she wanted to do was punch something, violently. She stayed in that spot for what seemed like hours, but surely could only have been minutes before she heard the telltale sounds of students thundering up the stairs. Wiping her eyes quickly, Hermione braced herself for the crowd of Gryffindors coming her way. Lavender was the first up, noticing Hermione she politely nodded and said the password Thistlewhistle. The Fat Lady opened merrily, waving both girls inside. Hermione began to head for the comfort of her bed before the rest of the students showed up when Lavender grabbed her shoulder.

Turning to face the Head Girl, Hermione forced a half-smile on her face, Lavender had a nervous look about her before beginning to speak.

"Hermione, I-I just wanted to say thank you,' Lavender sputtered,

"For what?" Hermione asked, full of genuine shock.

"I know you turned down the position, and I know you recommended the Headmaster give it to me." Hermione smiled as Lavender spoke,

"It is I who should be thanking you, Lav, I really couldn't have done it, and I knew that you would enjoy it, thank you." Both girls smiled at each other, however, the moment was cut short by the thin eleven year old voices coming up the stairs.

"Gotta go Mione, duty calls," Lavender smirked and rolled her eyes,

"Go get'em, I know you'll be great." Hermione said, glad that she had done some good in the world, finally. Lavender let go of her shoulder and turned to the hall, shutting the portrait behind her. Hermione refocused on the task at hand, getting upstairs to the rum.

Running up the flight of stairs to the 7th year girls dormitory Hermione could feel her head spinning. It was all too much to handle, Ron and Harry's disbelief in her, her parents, Char. She just wanted it all to stop, even for a moment, she wanted some peace.

Reaching the familiar door with its rusty brass knob, Hermione felt her breath coming in shorter, anxiety setting in. Stepping over the threshold Hermione took a deep breath, there is was, home, finally. It had been too long, a lifetime since June.

Quietly Hermione stumbled to the trunk, frantically prying at the lock before the 7th year girls walked in. Her fingers clumsily fighting to work the secret spell she had put on it, she started to sweat at the sound of familiar giggles inching slowly closer. The lock sprung open after the ten-thousandth attempt, and Hermione wiped the sweat off her brow before burrowing a hand in. There it was, her savior in its glass bottle, the tag still attached to the Pin-up Girl label. A furtive smile played on her lips before shoving the bottle into the inside of her zip-up sweater.

She took the steps down to the common room two-at-a-time, pushing her way through the gaggle of students, careful to hug the rum against her body. Hermione's feet seemed to be moving on their own accord, her mind was far and away. They knew the path to the Astronomy Tower better than she did.

A/N: There your go.