[Disclaimer: ...we obviously don't own Kingdom Hearts...if only we were that good... ;) ]
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Robots
Back with Chelly, Cloud, Leon and her continued their game.
"I have three of a kind," Cloud said, smiling a little.
"I have a flush," Leon said, reaching for the chips in the middle.
Chelly set down her cards. "Royal flush!" she said, taking the chips with a triumphant smile.
"Darn it…" Leon said, little emotion in his voice.
"Oh…" Cloud muttered in a monotone.
Chelly stared at the two. "You guys should try breaking the table when this kind of stuff happens…like, darn it!" She punched the table, which broke into two. "Oh…I guess that's why you don't…Well…I think I need to get back now. I need to put all my chips in Axel's pockets…"
The two men nodded at her.
"I'll come back to your Bahaman house another time. Thanks!"
"Sounds good," Cloud said.
Leon nodded in agreement.
"The ice cream store is going to close in a few minutes…" the person at the counter said. "Would you like to make a purchase?"
"Hold on! Hold on!" Axel dug in his pockets frantically.
Roxas' eyes filled with tears.
Suddenly Chelly burst through the door, her arms full of chips. "Axel! I need your pockets!"
Roxas turned to her with sparkling eyes. "Chelly!"
Chelly shoved all the chips in Axel's pockets before turning to Roxas with a smile. "Yes?"
"Can you please let us borrow some munny for ice cream?"
"Sure!" she said, handing him a wallet full of munny. "Keep the change…and give us all your ice cream."
"You don't sound that threatening…" Xigbar pointed out.
"Was I supposed to be…? Fine…" Chelly said, taking Xigbar's arrow gun and pointing it at the guy who worked there. "I don't know how to work this thing…but I can pretend like I do!"
The guy looked at the arrow gun nervously. "Y-yes, ma'am," he said, rushing over and started to grab a bunch of ice cream together.
Chelly nodded and tossed Xigbar his arrow guns. "You should use that thing more…it can be threatening."
Xigbar smiled. "I don't usually have to take them out to be threatening."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
Leximy sighed and sat down at a table. "This night seems to be dragging on forever."
"What's that? You don't like spending time with us?" Luxord asked.
"Not when it involves nearly being shipwrecked, being transported into an alternate reality, having nearly everyone kidnapped, and threatening a shop keeper with arrow guns…" Leximy listed.
"But that's all fun stuff!" Demyx countered.
"Apparently you're the only one who thinks so, Demy," Axel said.
"Aw…you guys are no fun…"
"I don't know…the alternate reality thing was very intriguing…" Chelly said with a smile, pushing up her imaginary glasses. "The shipwreck part not so much…"
"But I got to be captain for a bit!" Demyx said happily.
"Do you even have any experience driving ships?" Xigbar asked.
"I do now!" Demyx said with a smile.
"Great, another thing for your resume! I'm sure that will land you a great job at a gas station…" Leximy said.
Axel snickered.
"Why would I need a job…?" Demyx asked, looking around at everyone. "Am I being fired from the Organization?"
"No, Demyx, she's just kiddin—"
"I don't want to be jobless! What did I do to deserve this? Was it something Larxene said? She was lying! I haven't done anything wrong!" Demyx sobbed.
"Well, Saix likes to fire people without warning…" Leximy said, glaring at Saix.
"Not this again…" Saix sighed, shaking his head.
Leximy continued glaring.
Demyx ran over and continued sobbing on Chelly's shoulder.
"How could you…" Chelly said, glaring at Saix.
"What? I have not done anything," Saix said, glaring back.
"So much hatred in here…" Axel said.
"It's not healthy…" Xigbar agreed.
The man at the counter looked at everyone nervously. "Umm…here's your…ice cream…"
Axel reached out to take the ice cream, but was beaten by Leximy, who took a bite. Axel's mouth gaped open.
"What? It's rude to gape at people," Leximy said.
"My…ice cream…" Axel said.
Chelly handed him another one of the ice creams with a smile. Axel reached out to take it, then slowly brought his hand back with a suspicious look.
"What…? Is there something wrong with my ice cream…?" she asked with puppy dog eyes.
"…no…I just…know Roxas wants it more!" he said, pushing Roxas in front of him.
Roxas flashed Axel an annoyed look. "So you want me to be the taste tester…?"
"I'll taste it for you," Leximy said, taking a bite. "Yeah, it's not poison." She took another bite.
"Fatty…" Saix muttered.
Leximy's eyes filled with tears.
"I'll bite you!" Marluxia exclaimed.
Chelly looked at Saix suspiciously. "That doesn't sound like him…" she said, leaning to Demyx. "Do you think something's up with Saix?"
Demyx looked up, his eyes completely clear of tears. "I noticed something was up, too!"
"What should we do?"
"Take out a Heartless tracker! See if a Heartless is possessing him!"
"Demyx…technically all of us but Leximy are heart-less…"
"Oh yeah…" Demyx said, snapping his fingers.
"You know I can hear you right…?" Saix said. "And nothing's wrong with me, I was only joking around."
Demyx gasped. "Saix, joking? Something is wrong with him!" he exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Saix, who sighed.
"This is kind of suspicious…" Chelly said.
"I've always known Saix to be just a little…off…" Marluxia said with a smile.
"No one asked you, Marluxia…" Saix said.
"Now, now…everyone, I'm sure Saix is just tired…he does get kind of cranky…" Chelly said.
"I'm not tired, I told you, I was trying to be funny…" Saix said.
"Well, he's no Larxene, but I guess we can just let this one slide…" Leximy said. "Not that joking about a lady's weight is funny…"
"Tell me about it…" Marluxia said, squeezing his waist self-consciously.
"My apologies, I will refrain from doing that in the future," Saix said.
"Huh…how…formal," Chelly pointed out.
"That sounds like our Saix," Demyx said with a roll of his eyes.
Axel smirked. "Well, as fun as this all is…shouldn't we head back to the ship and get some sleep?"
"I have a room here, but you guys are welcome to jog the mile back to the ship," Xigbar said.
Leximy yawned. "I'll be rooming with Xigba~."
"Great, we can share a bed, love," Luxord offered.
"That's creepy, but I'm tired, so I'll take it."
Saix looked slightly crestfallen.
"Um…Leximy…" Chelly said, opening a portal. "We don't need to jog…"
Axel put his arm around Chelly's shoulder. "Let's go back to our room, okay?" he said with a wink.
"No, I was going to go to Zexion's room," Chelly replied sarcastically.
Zexion walked over and took her hand. "You heard her," he said, challenging Axel's glare.
"Sounds like a plan," Leximy said, narrowing her eyes at Saix. "I'll be taking Vexen's bed."
Marluxia's eyes turn into hearts.
"That means I'll have to move my robot…" Vexen said thoughtfully.
"Awkward…" Roxas said.
Chelly coughed and looked around. "So ship, let's go, yes?"
"Yeah, before we hear any more embarrassing things about the people we live with…" Axel agreed.
"Don't you want to know the gossip?" Demyx asked.
"Not when it comes to stuff like that…"
"Hm…you may have a point…" Demyx agreed with a yawn.
Walking onto the ship, Vexen smiled at Saix. "So I guess we'll be rooming together, buddy."
"What are you talking about? You're sleeping in the hall," Saix said, walking faster to get away from him, but not before turning back to him and saying, "And don't call me 'buddy'."
"This is very unfortunate….I don't have a pillow…or a blanket…will you keep me warm robot?"
"Cannot compute…" the robot replied, running faster to get away from him.
Chelly looked at Axel. "I hope we'll be able to do lots of fun stuff tomorrow!"
"I'm sure we will," Axel said with a smile.
"We've got to go horseback riding! No! Mini golf! NO! ICE SKATING!" Demyx exclaimed, obviously having trouble making up his mind.
Vexen smiled. "I'm good at that."
"This is going to be so great," Marluxia said, holding Leximy's hand and skipping. "We can paint each other's nails, and have girl talk, and eat ice cream, and…and watch romantic comedies!"
Leximy laughed. "Is this what you fantasize about when you think of sharing a room with me? How cute."
Marluxia gave a soft laugh.
"You're such a girl," Axel said.
"Aw, Axel, no need to be rude, he's just expressing his inner…Marly," Chelly defended.
Marluxia smiled proudly, then it faded. "Wait…is that a bad thing?" he asked, looking at Chelly suspiciously.
Chelly turned to Zexion. "So what are you reading?"
Zexion glanced at her, then quickly shut his book. "Nothing interesting. So, to my room, then?" He smiled.
"Huh?" Chelly asked, rubbing her eyes and looking at Axel. "I'm sleeping with Zexion now?"
Axel paused and stared at her.
"Axel…?" she repeated, then looked up at him.
"No, you're coming to our room."
"I heard you say you were sleeping with Zexion…" Leximy said.
"Yeah, me, too," Marluxia said.
"Ha! I have witnesses! Don't try and lie to her, Axel," Zexion said.
Axel glared at Leximy and Marluxia. Leximy smiled proudly.
"Let's go Chelly," Zexion said, holding out his hand to her.
Chelly yawned and took his hand, then Axel's. "Let's go."
"What?" Axel and Zexion exclaimed in synch.
Chelly looked up at them confused. "Axel can't sleep all by himself…I know he'll never admit it, but sometimes he's scared like Demyx," she said with a knowing nod.
Demyx nodded with big, puppy dog eyes. "The darkness can be scary…"
"What? I do not get scar—" Axel paused. "Actually, you're right, Chelly…I do." He flashed a quick smile at Zexion when Chelly looked away.
"Lexaeus can stay in our room," Chelly said, glancing at Lexaeus who nodded.
"Musical rooms!" Demyx sang. "…I say Larxene stays out in the hallway!"
"No, I don't want her in my room!" Vexen whined.
"Ooh, scandalous, Chelly, sharing a bed with a boy," Leximy said.
"I'm not a boy, I'm all man," Axel said, running his fingers along his chest.
"Who says she's sharing with Axel?" Zexion asked with a laugh. "There's not enough room on his bed, anyway. Not with that fatty sleeping on there. Plus, he drools. A lot. I don't think she wants spit in her hair, right Chelly?"
"So I have to share a bed…?"
Demyx pat her head. "You're too small to have one all to yourself."
Chelly pretended to cry. "Yeah, I just don't like to admit it…"
"So? What's it going to be?" Axel asked.
"I'll decide when we get to the room…" Chelly said with a yawn. "Or you two can just pick for me…I just want to sleep…"
"Yeah, don't make this difficult for her, why don't you two just share a bed? Let her have her own," Leximy suggested.
"That sounds like a good idea," Marluxia said, smiling at Leximy as he tried his best to keep her happy.
"Does it seem weird to anyone else that we've been walking around for a long time and we're still not at our rooms? I thought we got on and our rooms were right there…where are we?"
"We've been on the ship for a while…but our rooms are on the other side of the ship from the entrance," Chelly said, pointing down the hall. "It's right there."
She yawned. Then everyone yawned.
"I love how that works!" she said with a smile.
Everyone split up and went to their new respective rooms.
"Okay, where should we start?" Marluxia asked.
Leximy yawned. "I don't know…I'm tired. I just want to go to sleep…" She sat on the bed.
"Oh, okay, that's fine, too," Marluxia replied, looking at her expectantly.
"Are you going to sing me to sleep? Saix does…"
"Okay, hm…wait, what? Saix sings to you?"
"No."
"…"
"I miss Saix…" Leximy sighed. "I want to go back and sleep in my room…"
"But…but…"
Sitting outside of Saix's room, Vexen sighed. "I want my room back…" He hit his head against the door.
"Knock it off," came Saix's voice from inside.
In Axel and Chelly's real room, Lexaeus looked around and smiled at the silence.
In Zexion's room, Axel and Zexion, in their pajamas, turn to Chelly, who sat comfortably on the ground against a wall.
"So, Chelly, ready for bed?" Zexion asked, patting next to him on the bed.
"Yeah, are you ready?" Axel asked, glaring at Zexion.
"I think so…hey! I have a good idea! Get off the beds."
The two got off and Chelly pushed the two beds together, lying in the middle of them. Axel and Zexion glare at each other and cautiously sat down on the end of the bed. Slowly they laid down on both sides of her.
"There were three on the bed," Zexion began to sing. "And the little one said, roll over, roll over."
He rolled over and Axel was pushed off the bed.
"Are you serious?" Axel called from the floor.
"I want to go back to my room…will you walk me there? I don't know how to get back…" Leximy said.
"No, I'm going to bed, you're stuck here," Marluxia said.
"But…fine," Leximy said, crossing her arms and rolling over on the bed, turning away from him.
Marluxia smiled triumphantly, then pouted. "Aw, Leximy, don't be like that…I'm much more fun than Saix."
In Zexion's room, Chelly paused and turned to Zexion. "Wait, you're not the little one…"
Zexion coughed. "Compared to the rest of the Organization guys I am."
Axel stood up and got back on the bed, glaring over Chelly at Zexion. "How about we just go to bed?"
"We should play a word game!" Chelly suggested.
"Like what?" Zexion asked.
"Shouldn't you know? You're the one always reading…" Chelly pointed out.
In Saix's room, the lone member paced around his room nervously. "I wonder how Leximy's doing…maybe I should go check on her…" He opened his door, causing Vexen to fall backwards.
"I knew it! You do care!" Vexen exclaimed, scrambling to get to his feet.
"Nah, I'm sure she's fine," Saix said, closing the door before Vexen could get in.
In Marluxia's room, Leximy pouted and stared at the wall. "Saix is way more fun than you…he lets me style his hair, and he gets mad when I don't clean up the room, and gives me tips on crocheting, and talks about dogs on the boat…and…and…" Leximy's eyes welled up with tears. "I miss Saix!"
"Well you can see him in the morning…" Marluxia grumbled.
Leximy sighed and gently fell into a deep sleep.
Standing by his door with his hand on the knob, Saix had a look of uncertainty on his face. "Well…maybe I should check…just to be safe…" He swiftly opened then shut the door, making his way to Marluxia's room.
Vexen looked up, realizing he lost another chance to get inside. "Ugh…wait! Lexaeus has a room all to himself…" he said, standing up and running to Chelly and Axel's room.
Chelly sighed. "You two can't play a word game properly…we should get some shut eye now…"
"Yeah, I think that'd be best," Axel said. "We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow…"
The other two gave weak little nods.
Axel turned to the side, facing away from the other two, Zexion turned the other way, and the two fell asleep. Chelly closed her eyes, but reopened them shortly. "Why can't I sleep…?"
Saix got halfway to Marluxia's room, and then decided to turn around. "I can't give them the satisfaction…"
Lexaeus passed Saix in the hall.
"Yeah, you, too?" Saix asked.
"…"
"I know the feeling…" Saix replied, walking away.
Lexaeus walked back to his room, accidently locking Vexen out of yet another room. Vexen bit his lip, holding his tears back as he fell to his knees.
Marluxia hovered over Leximy, creeper-esque and watched Leximy sleep, who continued her slumber completely unaware.
Saix paced in the hallway. "My berserker senses are tingling." He sniffed the air. "Someone's being a creeper…" He ran down the hallway to where Vexen was silently dry sobbing. "You! What is this nonsense?"
"You!" Vexen exclaimed, standing up. "Give me the key to your room!" He gave him his signature creepy look.
Saix, with no expression, gave him the key, to which Vexen grabbed and ran for the room.
Xemnas walked by with a bucket of ice. "What are you doing out here, Saix?"
"Superior…? I'm just…I got locked out of my room…" Saix said.
"Oh…I'd invite you in mine, but it's…taken…"
There was an awkward pause.
"Alright, have a good night then."
"Night…"
Huddled in the cabinet under the television in one of the rooms, Demyx held his knees to his chest. "It's so dark in here…where am I? How did I get in here? Why can't I feel my feet?"
Larxene filed her nails with a knife while watching Bridal Plasty* on the television Demyx sat under. "Some day…I'm going to marry a ninja, and finally get the breast reduction surgery I've always wanted…"
"What's that scary voice? Am I in…hell?" he whispered, then quietly sobbed.
The next morning, Leximy yawned and, when she stretched, she hit Marluxia in the face. "What? Marluxia?"
"Ow!" Marluxia grabbed his face and fell off the bed.
"What were you doing so close?"
"I…wasn't…what?"
"Were you…doing my hair?" She felt her hair. "It feels so wavy and soft!"
"…uh, yeah, totally…" Marluxia said, flipping his hair as a nervous lying habit.
Lying sprawled out in the middle of the hallway, Saix slept soundly.
Zexion and Axel stretch and woke to realize Chelly wasn't there. "What did you do with her? Me? It was you!" they said in synch, pointing accusingly at each other.
Chelly knocked on Leximy's door. "Oh Leximy~! Marluxia! Wake up! We've got breakfast made downstairs!" she said, stepping over Saix as she went next door.
Larxene opened the door next door. "Oh, it's you, Chelly…I was hoping for my ninja of love…" Her voice trailed off. "Hey, you look really awful; those bags under your eyes look disgusting."
Demyx laughed from under the television. "Man that Larxene…she's evil, but hilarious."
Chelly glared at her. "I heard Demyx's voice…"
"Yes! I'm locked in here!" Demyx cried.
"…but then again, I thought I heard him help Larxene make fun of me, so that's probably not the Demyx I know," she said, closing the door.
"What? Nooo!"
Chelly moved onto Lexaeus' door.
"…"
"…"
Lexaeus nodded and closed the door.
Chelly moved onto her room and knocked.
"You get it," Zexion said.
"You really should…you're better at that sort of thing," Axel said.
"I'm busy."
"Your book is upside down."
"You can read upside down if you're intelligent enough. Apparently you are not."
"Maybe it's Chelly. You should answer it."
They paused before jumping for the door.
Chelly took a step back as they almost fall out the door. "Um…hello?"
"It's you!" Zexion exclaimed.
"Where did you go?" Axel asked.
"I got up…earlier?" she glanced down at her Hello Kitty watch. "It's already two in the afternoon…and I couldn't sleep…"
"So it's lunch now?" Axel asked.
Chelly nodded.
Zexion looked down. "Why is Saix on the ground…?"
"That's not Saix," Axel said with a shake of his head. "It's one of Vexen's creepy sex robots."
"…no…no I'm pretty sure that's Saix."
Down at lunch, everyone sat down at a nicely decorated table.
"Saix, you look pale, do you have a hangover?" Leximy asked. "Xigba~ was supposed to make sure you didn't drink past your limit." She turned to Xigbar and whispered, "He's part of a long line of chronic alcoholics."
Saix picked up a banana and tried to peel it.
"I know that," Xigbar said, waving his hand, before mumbling, "Why didn't I know that…?"
As she cut into her pancakes, Chelly asked, "How do you know his family, Leximy? Did you meet them?"
Marluxia stopped moving with his spoon halfway to his mouth, which was wide open.
Saix gave a slight nod.
Marluxia dropped his spoon, still frozen.
"Oh that must have been nice. You guys really must be so close."
Marluxia fell out of his chair.
"What's gotten into him…?" Chelly asked curiously.
"Oh yeah, Saix and I go wayyy back. We grew up together. In fact, he's my brother," Leximy said.
Marluxia began to cry. "Wait…" He stopped crying. "He's your brother? That means…"
"It means we're moving to Alabama," Saix finished.
"I don't get it," Demyx said, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.
"You're too young, Demy," Axel said.
"She's joking," Xigbar said.
"Phew," Marluxia said, picking up his chair.
"They're actually lovers," Xigbar corrected.
Marluxia fell over again, almost knocking over the table.
"Someone please take care of that…he's causing a scene!" Chelly exclaimed.
Everyone looked around and realized they were the only group in the room.
"It's because you guys got up so late…everyone else already had breakfast…"
Zexion flipped through his book. "I don't understand how you haven't noticed this sooner, Marluxia," he said.
"Noticed what?"
Leximy took Saix's hand in her own. "We're going to have a baby."
Marluxia pulled the table cloth expertly out from under the dishes and wrapped himself up in it like a caterpillar.
"You're what? But Chelly and I were supposed to have the first Organization love child!" Axel exclaimed.
Chelly gasped really loudly.
Everyone paused.
Chelly exhaled. "Um…no?"
"Oh I get it," Axel said, winking at her.
Chelly blinked at him.
"Whoa! That was a double wink at the same time!" Demyx said.
"Chelly wants to keep it a secret," Axel said, patting her stomach. "It's okay, they're all ready to find out."
Zexion pulled out a book on Pro-Choice.
"Whoa, Chelly's going to have a baby?" Leximy asked. "But she's so young!"
"But you and Saix…" Marluxia started.
"I'm not having a baby! I meant we're getting a puppy! It's going to be our baby…"
Saix nodded.
"So in a sense…Saix will be the one giving birth—" Xigbar said.
"Actually, male puppies don't give birth to new puppies," Demyx pointed out, holding a finger as though he was teaching the group something.
"Whoa, Demyx! Who told you that?" Chelly asked.
Demyx started to point at Vexen, who looked away. "Uh…everyone knows…?"
"Oh, okay…but…I thought Saix didn't like puppies…"
"SAIX IS A PUPPY!" Demyx exclaimed.
There was a pause.
"I do not take back that statement."
"Why am I a puppy…?" Saix asked.
"Because of your tail," Leximy explained.
"I do not have a tail."
"Not anymore, since you got it removed."
"I never had a tail."
"You don't need to lie Saix, you're among friends."
Demyx began stroking Saix's head. "Good puppy! Would you like a treat?" He held up a scrap of sausage.
Saix glared at him, then reluctantly took the sausage.
"That's a good boy."
Marluxia smirked.
"I get the feeling Saix isn't happy…" Chelly said.
"He's a man, he can take care of himself," Axel said with a shrug.
Marluxia couldn't help but laugh a little.
"He likes it best when you rub his belly," Leximy said.
Demyx reached out. Saix pulled out his claymore.
"Bad puppy!" Demyx said.
"I'm sorry, there are no animals allowed on this cruise," the waiter said.
"Oh, looks like we'll have to kick Saix out," Marluxia said.
"It's time to RTC, anyway…" Saix said angrily.
"But wait! Where's Xemnas? We can't leave without my father!" Leximy said.
In front of the ship, Xemnas had attached himself like a mermaid, his arms outstretched.
Back at the castle, Chelly smiled. "We're home! Well…some of us are…" she glanced at Leximy. "Since some of us don't have a room…"
Saix glared at Chelly.
"It's true…this isn't really my home," Leximy said, looking off into the distance. "I should probably go back to my farm."
"Leximy…don't go," Saix muttered.
"Saix?" Leximy said, pressing his nose.
Beep.
Leximy gasped. "You're not Saix! You're one of Vexen's creepy sexy robots! …do you want to come live at my farm with me?"
Axel gave her a disgusted look. "What?"
"Did you ever see Zettai Kareshi*? Don't have such a dirty mind! He's going to cook and clean for me and get a job to pay my bills! It'll be great," Leximy said, taking Saix Robot's hand.
Saix opened a portal for the two. "Well…visit us when you can…"
Chelly waved. "Don't be a stranger! Don't forget game night once a week!"
"Game night?" Larxene exclaimed. "I've never been invited to one of these?"
"Because no one likes you, man," Demyx said, running away.
"Quick! Run, run away, Leximy!"
"Beep…boop…beep…" Marluxia did the robot into the room. "Leximy, take me with you, I'm a robot, too. See!"
"I don't need more than one robot lover, silly!" Leximy said.
Saix nodded. "I'm all the man she'll ever need," he said, pointing to his robot counterpart.
"Bye real Saix!" Leximy said, waving. "Come along robot Saix."
She took his hand and blew a kiss to everyone before disappearing through the portal.
Axel put a hand on Chelly's shoulder. "That was fun. I bet you already miss her, huh?"
Chelly wiped her tearless eyes. "Yeah…but we'll see her…next Friday for game night!"
Vexen walked out and looked around. "Has anyone seen my Saix robot…?"
~END~