I do not own the rights to the Justice League.

Never Date A Villain

A part of me always knew that Stuart would get out of jail at some point, it was in the Rules after all. I just couldn't believe it was so soon, barely a year after he had been imprisoned. What made the situation worse was that Stuart didn't even have to break out. Instead of the typical villain break-out, he got pardoned by the soon to be ex-govenor of Missouri, or so he explained to me.

I'm not one for politics. I personally believe that politics live up up to their name, many blood sucking insects. That belief goes for everybody that participate in politics as well. Due to my distaste for politics, it shouldn't be that much of a shocker that I didn't vote in the last election, or even knew that much about the ex-governor. All that I really know about him, ex-governor Whitaker (besides the common rhyme that people usually substitute for his name) is that he was big on crackdown on superheroes, calling them loose cannons. Then there was some big catastrophe a couple months ago, and the government failed while the League succeeded. After that, his rantings against them got more intense, but people stopped listening to him and so he lost the election.

The little info I did know, was all courtesy of Annie who was super excited since she could vote in her first election. She did try her best to get me to vote as well, but I somehow managed to convince her that I had already voted in my hometown through mail, so I was spared from being dragged along with her. Eugene wasn't so fortunate. But from the little I did know, I would have never thought Whitaker would have been stupid or desperate enough to pardon Stuart. Except he had been, and decided that releasing Stuart would be the best way to get back at the League who he blamed for losing the election. Yeah, I still can't follow that line of logic either.

Stuart explained all that as he took me into the next room for our private chat. He told me all that, knowing about Eugene's plans and waiting to seize the device, how would take over the world and make the League to bow him, etc... The usual villain mantra.

He also turned on the cheapo T.V. to show me the live coverage concerning the status of Superman. He wanted me to realize just how serious he was and to be intimidated, but the program also let know me that I was back in my own world. I had already suspected that was the case, but it was nice to get confirmation. There was a slight feel to the air that was different from Gardner's world. It was like a welcoming breeze, the feeling that anything was possible. Not that there was something wrong with Gardner's world, I just never realized the difference between the worlds until I returned to my own. Sure, it was against my will and I was in a hotel room with my ex-boyfriend intent on world domination, but I still couldn't help but feel happy to be home.

Back to the ex-boyfriend intent on world domination part.

Once Stuart was done with his villain mantra I asked, "And what exactly does all of this have to do with me?"

"When I found out that you were the girl that had botched everything, I couldn't help but feel it was more than a coincidence. It was fate bringing us together, telling us to take another chance," he said, putting my hand in his and stepping closer to me.

I sat down on the bed and pulled him onto it with me. Letting go of his hand, I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "It's funny you mention that Stuart, because ever since I met Gardner, I keep thinking of you and how smarter you are than him and how I miss you."

He scooted closer on the bed toward me. "You mean that?"

"With all my heart," I answered and leaned forward to kiss him.

"I'm so glad to hear that," he said once I was done.

Then with a wink I made my way toward the door and said, "Me too. Now if you excuse me I'm going to have to go take care of Gardner now that we no longer need him as insurance."

"Suzy Q?"

"Yeah?" My hand was on the doorknob, just waiting to turn it so I could enter the adjoining room where Gardner was.

"Did you really think I was too stupid to notice you palming the device while you kissed me?"

I shrugged, it was true. While he had been talking he had also been tossing the device back and forth in his hands as if to taunt me (very stupid on his part) before finally putting it on the bed. At which point I thought I could distract him long enough to get it.

"It was worth a shot. Knowing me, do you really think I wouldn't try something like that?"

Frowning he replied, "I did think doing such a thing it was rather beneath you."

"I saw a chance and seized it. Besides, I was hoping that prison had made you stupider."

He got off the bed and took the device from my pocket and started to play with my hair, just like he used to do while we were dating. "If anything it made me smarter. Why do you think I left it there for you? You know this means I'm going to have to tie you up again. For some reason I'm still too attached to get rid of you completely yet."

I probably should have been mad or angry, but for some reason the conversation just seemed so normal, like old times. I hadn't completely lied when I said that I missed him. I did miss the good parts of him, the parts that made me laugh, or made it able to have casual conversations like this with him. It was the crazy, egotistical, self-righteous, jerky parts that I didn't care for.

"As pleasant as that sounds, you do know at some point I'm going to have to kick your ass, right?"

"Looking forward to it."

And so was I.

Stuart took me by the hand and led me into the other room.

As his goons were getting ready to tie me up again, he said, "Wait. Did anybody search her?"

"Why would we search her? She's a girl," said one of them.

I was about to congratulation them on that brilliant deduction but Stuart spoke up. "She's not just any girl. When we were dating she carried a pocketknife with her. I doubt she's changed the habit in the past year."

I sighed, whatever sweet moment we had earlier was gone, and he was back to his jerky self. Stuart would remember that little detail. I started to dig through my pockets and chuck what I could find at Stuart's head. "Some quarters, oh, tootsie roll," I said as I put the tootsie roll in my mouth, grateful for grabbing some out of Gardner's mom's candy bowl on the way to pick up Lucy. I wasn't about to throw that at Stuart. Never waste chocolate on a guy. Plus I hadn't eaten in hours.

Then my hand felt something heavy and familiar. "Knife," I said fondly and threw it with the blade aimed at Stuart's head. Unfortunately, the knife missed it and it became embedded in the wall behind him. Oh well, at least I tried.

Still not convinced that I had turned everything over he insisted on patting me down. "This reminds me of old times."

If it wasn't for the tootsie roll in my mouth I might have thrown up then and there on his jerky self. Instead, I simply glared, wishing the sweeter side of Stuart was back. Since that wasn't going to happen anytime soon, I continued glaring while I was tied up again (I actually managed to get a couple punches and kicks in this time though, not that it mattered in the end) and was shoved onto the floor next to Gardner who had duck-tape over his mouth. I wasn't the only one who mouthed back to the guards then.

Stuart made a move for the door before stopping. "I almost forgot the most important thing. How we shot Superman."

With everything that was going on, he had forgotten that explanation and I had been focused on getting the device to remember it. "I've always been more of a demonstration kind of guy," he said, and pulled something out of a bag. I recognized it instantly as a Plasma Gun. Super hi-tech, super expensive, and only available to the highest government officials. Whitaker had certainly pulled out all the stops for this.

Seeing Gardner's questioning face, Stuart said, "This is a Plasma Gun, instead of bullets it shoots plasma. It's not lethal, but it sure hurts a hell lot more than bullets." Then he pulled the trigger.

It happened so fast I barely had time to blink. I saw the plasma shoot out toward Gardner... and nothing happened. At all. He was completely unfazed. Then Stuart pointed the gun at me and pulled the trigger. I was a lot less fortunate, getting hit by the full force of the plasma. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and electricity was coursing through my veins. I really don't know how to properly describe the feeling, just that it sucked way more than the Tinkerbell effect ever did. I started to cuss Stuart out, while trying to shake off the pain.

"That felt good," he said with a wide smile on his face. Did I mention how much I wanted the old Stuart back? Of course by that point, any future relationship was shot, but it was nice to imagine. It was nicer to imagine me beating him to a pulp, locking him in a room full of Sues, or even giving him to Angela to play with. That would be really nice.

When I was done cursing, he spoke again. "Remember the Rules, Suzy Q? Here we have them. Where Gardner—hope I got the name right—anyway, where Gardner is from, the Rules don't exist and don't apply to him or anything from his world. I call it the Reality Effect. You see, any weapons or technology that we have here, but don't exist where Gardner is from, can't exist in his world. That's why even the device has a hard time functioning for long periods of time there. That's why Gardner survived unfazed from the Plasma Gun while you were hurt."

"And that's how you managed to shoot Superman. You used weapons from Gardner's world because of the reality thing, since Superman would be vulnerable to them," I said, finishing his explanation.

"Exactly. It's also how we're going to defeat the League. Now that we have everything we need, we're going to march to their nice little Hall and storm it with tanks, guns and more. Superman was just a trial run to confirm my theory. With it confirmed, none of the heroes can withstand the Reality Effect."

I snorted. "Good luck with that plan. What about Batman, Green Arrow and other heroes who don't have powers?"

"All of their little toys can't touch my big ones. If they want to live, they'll give up."

"No evil chuckle to finish off your nice little speech?"

Laughing he said, "And be called cliched? Now if you excuse me, I have a world to conquer. One more thing though." He picked up the remote control for the cheapo T.V. in the room and switched it from the sports channel to the news channel that we had watched in the other room.

"Don't want you to miss my victory," he said, and then walked out of the room.

Watching him go, I couldn't help but think that once again I was. Gardner wasn't a jerk. Stuart was, and had him beat for the biggest jerk of the year award.

**Author's Note**

I would like to thank Loki's Son and AidenSurvival for reviews. Don't know how many times I have to say it, but reviews are always appreciated.

A couple notes about this chapter. I'm not quite sure if there are Plasma Guns in JLU, but it seems like every sci-fi movie/show I've seen has some version of a plasma/laser beam/phaser gun. Including it was mainly to demonstrate that weapons like it are more advance than what we currently have, hence Gardner was unaffected. Also, it's been a while since I've seen the last ep of JLU, but if I remember right, Superman wanted to build some kind of Hall or building on earth for people and the JL. I don't know for sure if it was the Hall, but that's what I went with. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me in a review.

Next chapter will feature both Gardners hearing plans that they think are too crazy to work.

Thanks for reading, and if you can leave a review.