Chapter 2 –We're Not in Germany Anymore Toto

He found himself standing in a sizable clearing surrounded by what appeared to be an enormous, dense forest. He looked back to where he had been sleeping. Instead of Carter's bunk, he saw the base of a huge oak tree; he had apparently been nestled in a soft, thick patch of clover that grew beneath its massive, spreading branches. He rubbed his eyes and looked a second time. The tree was still there. He looked straight up and was unable to see the sky through its thick, verdant foliage.

He spread his arms out to examine the extremely strange regalia he wore and found himself clad in Lincoln Green from head to toe. Cor! What 'appened to me nightshirt? As he tried to get his thoughts organized, a voice echoed out from within the forest.

"Robin? Rise and shine buddy! It's time to eat!" A thin, gangly man dressed entirely in red emerged into the clearing.

He nearly swallowed his tongue when he recognized the scarlet-clad figure. Carter? He blurted out, "Andrew? What the 'ell…?"

The man smirked knowingly in response to his words. "It's too early for your jests Robin. You know very well my name is Will!"

"Will?" he bleated in confusion.

The man came forward amiably and extended his hand. "All right, I'll play the fool for you. My name is Will Scarlett. And you would be…?"

"Uh," he had no idea what to say. He didn't think 'Peter Newkirk' would be perceived as the correct answer. Wait a minute, didn't this Will Scarlett just call him 'Robin'? He knew of only one gent named Robin who lived in the forest. "Uh, Robin…Robin…Hood?"

"Very good!" Will Scarlett bowed mockingly and then grabbed him by the arm to drag him along with him. Scarlett suddenly stopped, released his grip on his arm and pointed behind them. "What's wrong with you today Robin? Don't forget your bow!"

He looked back at the tree. Yes, there was a Welsh longbow and a quiver full of goose-fletched arrows lying on the ground beside the clover patch. He shook his head and turned to comment, then thought better of it. He leaned down to retrieve the bow and quiver, then reluctantly followed Will Carter, uh, that is, Will Scarlett into the forest.

The sunlight abruptly disappeared as they moved further within the deep canopy of the forest. "Andrew?" No answer. "Andrew! Uh, sorry, Will?"

"Yes Robin?"

"Where are we?"

Scarlett stopped and turned around to face him, arms crossed in front of his chest. "Did a branch fall off Major Oak and hit you in the head during the night Robin?"

"Major Oak?" He looked back at the magnificent tree he had apparently slept beneath the previous night. That's the Major Oak? The Major Oak? He shook his head and then as an afterthought, gingerly checked it for knots. Whatever was going on here was getting entirely out of hand. "No, not that I remember."

Scarlett sighed and shook his own head. "If you must have your jest, I won't disappoint you. You are in Sherwood Forest, in Nottinghamshire, in England. Now if you are satisfied, let's go! You can tell all of us where the Sheriff is holding King Richard whilst we eat."

"Sheriff? As in, the Sheriff of Nottingham?"

Scarlett sighed again and nodded.

"King Richard? As in, the…the Lionheart?" It seemed he was doomed to parrot back everything Scarlett said in the form of a question.

Scarlett reached out to grasp his arm. "This jest has gone far enough Robin! Are you going to keep this up all morning? You told us before you left last night that you would have a plan to rescue Richard when you returned!"

He opened his mouth to ask yet another question, such as 'I did?', but changed his mind at the darkening expression on Scarlett's face. He patted Scarlett's hand and removed it from his arm, deciding that until he found out what was going on, it would be prudent to fit in for now. "I did, didn't I? All right mate, let's go. Lead on Scarlett!"

Scarlett unexpectedly broke into a wide grin. "You had me worried Robin! I did not want to have to carry on in your jest with the rest of the men."

Rest of the men? Blimey! Robin's Merrie Men? He had forgotten about that lot. He began to get a bad feeling about this as he followed Will Scarlett further into the forest.

In a few minutes they came upon another clearing accessed by what appeared to be a hidden bower. Scarlett waved to a sentry perched high within the limbs of a nearby tree as they entered and he stepped aside to allow his master to arrive first. Delicious aromas wafted about within the small shaded glade.

Scarlett approached a man bent over a cooking pot laid on a wood fire and called, "Much? I've fetched Robin like you asked, so let's eat! We're all hungry!"

Much? MUCH? More like not enough! he thought helplessly as the diminutive cook turned around to face him and he saw none other than Louis LeBeau! He stood there, momentarily gobsmacked. Where in the 'ell am I? What's 'appenin' 'ere? He decided to keep his mouth shut for now as Scarlett returned to stand beside him.

Scarlett then gestured and others appeared as if by magic from the lush foliage surrounding the small clearing. He thought his jaw would unhinge itself as he watched the men gather. Several of those who appeared to be the core Merrie Men caught his interest immediately.

"What do you mean, do not wake them?" Schultz' eyes went wide with fear upon hearing Kinch's words. He looked down at the sleeping Englishman in Carter's bunk and then cast a frightened glance at the closed door of Colonel Hogan's quarters.

"Just what I said, Schultzie. The Colonel and Peter were throwing up all night long and they just got to sleep a few minutes ago." LeBeau made a great show of bringing in what appeared to be a newly-emptied bucket back to the side of the bunk whilst Kinch explained the situation to Schultz.

"They cannot miss roll call! I must report this!" Schultz headed for the door and turned back at Kinch's call.

"Tell the Kommandant to see Sergeant Wilson. He'll explain it to him."

"Oh danke, danke!" Schultz was all for anything that would make his job of 'seeing nothing' easier. He took off in search of Wilson and smacked into him in the doorway.

"Ser-Sergeant Wilson? What are you doing here? Back to your barracks! It would be worth my life...!" After all this time, Schultz still managed to become mightily flustered dealing with what the Kommandant once referred to as Barracks Two's 'shenanigans'.

"I've come to check on the Colonel and Newkirk. I've been told they're sick." Wilson gently pushed Schultz back inside and made for Carter's bunk. He knelt down and laid a solicitous hand on Newkirk's forehead. "Well there doesn't seem to be any fever. When did he begin to feel ill?"

Wilson rose and emitted several concerned 'hmmmms' as Kinch again explained the sudden onset of cramps and nausea that befell both Hogan and Newkirk during the previous night.

"I'll examine the Colonel now. This sounds like it might be very contagious. We may need to quarantine this barracks until it runs its course." He gestured to Schultz to accompany him and the guard shrank back, shaking his head.

"N-no Sergeant. I will wait outside!" Schultz backpedaled and made for the door as fast as his large bulk allowed. When he was well outside, Wilson shook his head at Kinch.

"Whew!" he exclaimed in relief.

Kinch came near and put a hand on Wilson's shoulder. "You can say that again!" he agreed. "I expect that once Klink hears the word 'contagious' he'll okay the barracks quarantine."

Wilson nodded, then gestured to LeBeau as he walked towards the Colonel's quarters. "Louis, help me check on the Colonel. Then I'll come back and look at Peter's ankle."

LeBeau nodded and followed Wilson into Colonel Hogan's quarters.