Beckett had had a long morning. She kept glancing at Castle's empty chair next to her desk. She missed him when he wasn't there but it was worse this time knowing that he could possibly be in danger. Ryan caught her staring at the chair once and said, "You know, Castle is pretty resourceful. He'll be fine."

Beckett looked up with a slight smile, but she couldn't believe how easily they could read her.

She got up and headed to the break room for more coffee. Beckett was filling up her mug when she heard the TV.

"Breaking news. Famed mystery novelist, Richard Castle, has been shot," Beckett dropped her mug as she spun toward the TV, "while shadowing a police detective for research on his next book. We don't have any information on his condition, but there is some amateur footage of the chaotic scene." The video was jumpy and at first showed a warehouse on fire, then it zoomed in on a stretcher. There were people between the stretcher and cameraman that often blocked the view but she caught a brief glimpse of what she assumed was Castle's face. The face was so covered in blood she couldn't be sure it was him but somehow she knew it was him. Her hand flew to her mouth. Esposito had rushed to the break room when he heard the mug shatter. Beckett turned in his direction and he instinctively reached for his gun when he saw the terror in her eyes. "What is it?" He asked not seeing any danger in the room.

"Castle's been shot!" she blurted out. "They just showed it on TV. It looks like a head wound."

Ryan had arrived to hear the announcement, "My God," was all he could say.

"I've got to go to the hospital. You tell Gates what happened and where I am." Just then Beckett's phone vibrated. It was Alexis. She was panicked. "Is Dad alive?" she practically yelled with a quivering voice.

Beckett braced herself and tried to sound as calm and professional as she could. "Alexis, he wasn't with me today. I'm afraid I don't know any more than you do, but I will find out and get back to you." Beckett started to rush out of the room.

Esposito grabbed her arm. "You're in no shape to drive. I'll drive you." Beckett nodded knowing that he was right. Esposito turned on the siren and sped to the hospital as fast as he could.

Kate was trying to hold it together. Would she be too late to ever tell him how she felt? Even if he survived he might never be the same again if he has brain damage. She closed her eyes and tried to push the bad thoughts out of her head. "Please God, let him be alive."

Her plan was to walk in there like she owned the place. At the ER desk she flashed her badge, "Detective Beckett, NYPD. I need to see Richard Castle. He was admitted a little while ago."

The nurse didn't even have to look it up. "Mr. Castle is in E5. Through the double doors." She said pointing. Kate pushed through the door, her jaw clenched, her fists clenched. She was literally steeling herself for what she was about to see. She took a deep breath and opened the door to E5.

Beckett's jaw dropped open. Castle was sitting up in bed writing on a piece of paper. "There you go Marcy," he said to the nurse handing her the paper.

"Thanks," Marcy gushed. "I really love the Nikki Heat books!" She glanced at Beckett and apparently decided it was time to leave. "I'll check back in a few minutes."

Beckett was stunned. This isn't what she expected to find, Castle sitting there giving autographs! He had a gauze bandage taped to his forehead. The blood was cleaned off his face, but there was still a fair amount matting his hair. "Castle are you alright?" she finally found her voice.

"Oh yeah. Morphine makes everything so much better," he said with a goofy grin. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were shot." Suddenly there was a huge rush of relief that flooded through her now that she realized that he was going to be OK. All the emotions that she had been repressing were suddenly exploding in her and she couldn't hold it in any more. "Rick, I thought you…," that's all she could choke out before her face contorted with the effort to hold her tears back. She turned her back to Castle as though he wouldn't realize she was crying.

Castle scooted to sit on the edge of the bed wincing with the effort. "Kate," he said softly. "Kate, come here." He knew exactly how she was feeling because he had been in her spot just a few months ago when she had been shot. She turned with tears streaming down her face. He opened his arms up for her, "Come here," he repeated. She fell into his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. "Just let it out," Castle said soothingly. He held her close his right hand lightly stroking her back, his cheek nestling in her hair. Even though her body was tense and wracked with sobs, it felt wonderful to hold her. After all the tension and heartbreak of the past couple of weeks, it was almost surreal to have her in his arms. He could smell her hair, a wonderful soft floral scent. He pressed her a little closer not wanting to ever let her go. He had been a fool not to talk to her when he found out that she had lied. She obviously had feelings for him. He smiled to himself as he felt his hospital gown growing wet under her face.

Beckett's sobs started to subside. His arms held her firmly but gently. She could feel his heart beating and its steady rhythm helped to calm her. His heart that just a short time ago she feared had been quieted forever. She had wanted to be in his arms for so long and now here she was blubbering with a death grip on him like he was a life preserver. Still it was wonderful to be in his arms. She felt so protected and comforted. She always had to be the one in control, the strong one. Never accepting help from anyone. She was surprised how easy it was for her to fall into his arms and just let herself go. She relaxed a little. Her hand slid a little down his back stopping when she felt a bandage. "Castle, how many times were you shot?" She leaned back to look in his eyes. Her eyes filled with concern.

"Just once here on my left side. Bullet went clean through me." He touched the spot on his hospital gown.

"But what about your head?" Beckett was confused thinking all along he had been shot in the head.

"I got whacked in the head with a 2x4. I think it may have knocked some sense into me." He said with a smile.

"Oh Castle, when I saw it on the news, I…," Beckett started off, but Castle stiffened up, grabbed her arms and almost shook her.

"It was on the news?" he demanded in a panicked voice. "Where's your phone?" Beckett suddenly remembered Alexis and knew why Castle was in a panic. She quickly handed over her phone.

Castle punched the numbers in as fast as he could. Alexis answered immediately," Is he OK?" she asked in a scared, tearful voice. Castle's face fell as he realized how much pain he'd caused her.

"Honey, it's me," he said calmly and quietly. "I'm fine – I'm going to be fine. They're going to keep me at the hospital at least one night for tests and observation, but I'm OK. Does Gram know?" He listened for a minute, "OK, I don't have a regular room yet. I'm still in the ER now, but really I'm fine. Why don't you wait until I get settled in my room before you come to see me? I'll call you later when they transfer me. You'll have to bring me some clothes so I can get out of here tomorrow. Honey, I'm so sorry to worry you. I would have called sooner but didn't realize it had been on TV." Another pause. "I love you too. I'll talk to you later."

"Sometimes being famous is a real problem," He said to Beckett returning her phone.

"Oh, I need to get Javi. He's in the waiting room," Beckett suddenly remembered.

"Um, you might want to stop by the restroom before you go out there," Castle said motioning around his eyes. "There is one around the corner."

Beckett realized she must look like a real mess after all the crying. She was sure mascara was smeared all over her face, but she looked at Castle and said with a slight smile, "Hey have you looked at your face lately?" She called Javi on the phone and told him Castle was OK and to come on back while she went to the restroom. She also called the precinct to let Ryan and Gates know that everything was OK. When she got back to Castle's room, Esposito was getting ready to leave. Castle was lying back in his bed. He looked rather pale.

"Glad you're OK, bro," Esposito was saying. He looked at Beckett when she came in noting her swollen eyes. "I need to get back to the precinct. Are you coming?" He was unsure if things were still awkward between her and Castle.

"No, I want to stay a little longer. I already called the precinct and let them know he's fine," Beckett informed him. Esposito nodded and left.

"OK, Castle, what happened?" She was already getting angry with Slaughter.

Castle gazed steadily at her, "Well, Detective, it's kind of hard to remember exactly what happened what with me getting shot and all." For a second she didn't understand what he meant, but then she finally connected the dots. Castle must have heard her interrogating the bombing suspect when she said she remembered every second of her shooting. He'd been mad at her because she'd lied to him.

"Oh, Castle you heard me in interrogation, didn't you?" Castle nodded. "I'm so sorry I lied. I just didn't know how to respond to that and…" she looked down briefly. When her eyes came back up they were glistening. "I was afraid if we talked about it that you would take it back and tell me you only said you loved me because I was dying, and I was afraid to admit my feelings because I was trying to work through the PTSD. I didn't mean to hurt you. Surely you didn't think I was trying to hurt you?"

"I thought the reason you lied was because you didn't feel the same way. " Castle said. Beckett could see the pain in his eyes and knew that it wasn't from the shooting. She had ripped his heart out and he still came back to the precinct every day. Now she understood why he had been pulling away and sometimes even nasty to her. "You need to tell me if I need to move on, Kate. I can't keep going on like this, but if you need more time, I can give you time." His eyes were imploring her. "I just need to know that there is a chance for us to have a future. A future outside the precinct," he added wanting to be sure he wasn't misunderstood.

Beckett swallowed hard, biting her lip, "Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to move on. I need you. I'm still working on my issues, but there's no point if you're not in my life. These last couple of weeks have been so hard. All I knew was that you were pulling away from me. "

Castle reached for her hand. Suddenly the door burst open. Slaughter strode over to Castle's side. "How's my little buddy doing?" He asked cheerily.

"I'm doing good. I should be released tomorrow," Castle replied. Beckett actually thought he looked pleased to see Slaughter.

Slaughter looked at Beckett, "Dang how do you keep up with all the paperwork that working with this guy generates?"

"He doesn't have to be admitted to the hospital when he's working with me." Beckett said stepping forward her voice rising. "He nearly died with you!"

Slaughter raised his hands in mock defense. "Ooo, Mama Bear is getting angry," he said with a smirk on his face.

Beckett continued, pointing her finger for emphasis, her voice quite loud, "And how did he get beaten and shot and you don't even have a scratch on you?" Slaughter's clothes were covered in blood but she assumed it was all Castle's.

Slaughter shrugged, "Hell, you always send the newbies in first." His eyes were full of mischief.

"Kate!" Castle said sharply. He could see she was about to go ballistic. His tone made her stop and look at him. He continued in a normal voice, "Kate, he's just messing with you."

Kate glared at Slaughter. He loved to push people's buttons. She really despised him. As a matter of fact, most people despised him. How did he and Castle get so buddy-buddy in less than a day's time?

Slaughter clasped Castle's hand. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing OK. You can work with me anytime you want." He turned to Beckett and winked. "See you around, Beckett."

5