Half Lives – Chapter Twelve

Harry Potter threw a tantrum.

He didn't think he'd ever done so before. Not since his infancy, anyway. But James helped.

He sighed. It had all started out so well.

In the few days since Dumbledore and Hermione had psycho-analysed him, various people had tentatively tried to talk to him about what had happened. Harry had quickly shut that one down, and, fed up of people treating him like some form of rare and dangerous animal, had taken refuge in his attic. None of this would have happened if James had just done his job. But Harry continued to look for more clues about James. He had foolishly hoped that everything had blown over, until the next Thursday night, when he realised thing could only get worse.

Harry had been called down from his reading to find the whole household, Moody and Dumbledore waiting for him. Hermione had calmly explained that regardless of their differing opinions, Harry had to agree that he was stressed, and was suffering emotional damage from his tumultuous life. So they had taken it upon themselves to find him a psychiatrist. Dumbledore ignored Harry's objections, and had gone to great lengths to make him understand how much work Remus and Mad Eye had put in to screen and secure the psychiatrist in question. Apparently there had been quite a lively debate over muggle or magical. Muggle therapists were undoubtedly more experienced, and would not turn out to be a Death Eater in disguise, but wizards would be able to talk about all aspects of Harry's life, and could protect themselves if attacked by Death Eaters.

Things had gone to go a bit downhill then, when Harry told them exactly what he thought of their plan, and where they could stick their work.

They had decided on magical. A psychiatrist had been chosen, and a location scouted and secured. Harry was to leave that day.

Harry was not going to go voluntarily.

There had been words. Possibly harsh ones, and possibly in loud voices.

Then Harry had his idea. It was rather a good one, he thought. "Fine. I'll go to the shrink's. I'll talk to her. I'll go through the whole-" then he'd said a word that made Hermione scold him, them, "-plan. But only if Sirius goes too." Moody had started grumbling about how he hadn't been running all over the country for the past week (when his hip was playing up too) to arrange the plan, only to have it jeopardised by the presence of an unstable war veteran who couldn't control himself. Sirius had shouted. Remus had argued. Hermione looked like she was about to cry. Harry had pointed out that he didn't want Sirius with him, he wanted Sirius to see his own shrink.

Everyone had gone a bit silent upon hearing that anouncement; Harry had held his head high and stuck his ground. Sadly, his plan was not met with approval. So, Harry had thrown a tantrum. He had yelled, he had threatened and mugs had rattled. He had still failed.

-0-

Harry glowered at the room tiredly. He couldn't see why Dudley did this all the time. It was tiring. And he hadn't even got his way. Harry decided to avoid tantrums from now on.

"Harry, that was very childish of you." Remus said. "You shouldn't throw tantrums at your age."

"Yeah?" Harry felt rather reckless. He felt that they could all be thrown to the dogs for all he cared. He felt like James was dictating his emotions again. "Well you weren't around to suffer my tantrums as a kid, so I guess I'm throwing them all now!"

"Harry, please calm yourself." Dumbledore said gently. "Whilst you concern for your godfather is admirable, it is sadly far too impractical. But," he held up a hand when Harry went to interrupt, "although Sirius cannot leave this house, I will concede that something can be done. Madam Pomffry can be called upon to treat any physical manifestations, her Healers oath will forestall her informing the ministry. Hestia Jones has received extensive training in criminal psychology, and she may be of us in rehabilitating a released prisoner, such as Sirius. And Severus might be able to achieve some peace of mind by Occlumency exercises and active Legimency upon Sirius."

That idea hadn't gone down so well. Sirius looked half mad as he ranted and raved at anyone who suggested Snape be in the same room as him, let alone inside his head. Harry knew the feeling. But he also wondered how the others could deny help to a man who was not only at risk from Death Eaters' wands, but also from his own. "Maybe," Dumbledore said finally, sounding quite exhausted, "maybe I could leave the school occasionally to help Sirius, instead of Severus."

Everyone looked between Albus and Sirius. They nodded amicably at each other.
"Great." Harry said. "So, who's my shrink?"

The next week went achingly slowly for Harry and James. The latter was sulking, because Harry had told everyone about his existence, and he was taking his bad mood out on Harry by playing up to the gossip that Fleur was entrancing Harry for her own amusement. Which made Harry's life surprisingly hard, as Bill began to look at him sharply, Hermione started giving speeches about the dangers of dating older women and the value of fidelity, and all the good progress with Ginny was undone. So far, Fleur was taking it all in her stride, keeping her head held high and refusing to be tripped up by the barbed questions and comments thrown at her by the household. But worse was the sure knowledge that soon Harry was going to see a psychiatrist, as he had either unwittingly become a vessel for a splinter of his father's soul, or had Dissociative Identity Disorder. Every two days Moody would stop by with news of their search for a "safe" location and doctor, and both James and Harry began to feel sick when he announced that they had found a suitable candidate and were progressing with the security arrangements. Harry knew he should feel glad – he was going to get help (for problems he still stubbornly didn't believe in) and so was Sirius, but he mostly just regretted his decision to speak up about his blackouts in the first place. So it was with great trepidation that Harry greeted Moody and Remus when they arrived on Saturday afternoon to take him to his first therapy session.

-0-

"Hermione," Harry said in a small voice, leaning into her shoulder as they stood in the threshold between kitchen and hallway- Harry's guard of Mad Eye Moody and Remus were waiting patiently next to the front door, along with Sirius, Ron, Mrs Weasley and Ginny who were all clustered on the stairs watching. "Hermione I don't want to go to the therapist's."

Hermione would be the first to admit she wasn't the most, soppy, of girls, but having her best friend practically curling into her shoulder, turning his back on the rest of the household and whispering such an emotional admission to her, well, Hermione thought no one could blame her if she mothered Harry a bit. "Oh Harry." She said softly, idly trying to brush his hair flat. "I know you don't want to, but you've got to go." She had to dip her head slightly to look him in the eye, because he was resolutely trying to hide behind his fringe. "It's for your own good. I know we disagree on the Dursleys' actions, but you've got to see how it and all your 'crazy adventures' is affecting you. You need someone to talk to. Someone disinterested, who can help you." She pulled him into a hug.

Being a man and not a weedy little boy Harry resolutely didn't hug her back. But he may have leaned in a little bit.

"It won't make you any less of a big strong man, you know." Hermione said with a small smile as she pulled back. "Now," she continued, in a voice loud enough to be heard by the others, "mind you ps and qs, don't get lost, and remember to say thank you." She pushed him towards the door with a small laugh.

Harry stumbled before finding his footing and hovering uncertainly near the door. "Are we going then?" He asked resentfully. The only answer he got was a sharp rap on the head as Moody disillusioned him, and snigger from Remus, then, they were gone.

-0-

Hermione leant against the doorframe and sighed as she watched the door close.

"Oh come off it, Hermione, Harry's a big strong boy," Ron's words had a bitter twist, "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"He didn't want to go." Hermione said in a soft voice. "Was it wrong for me to make him?"

"Well, you've always looked after Harry before now, haven't you?" Ginny threw in. "It's you he turns to for comfort, not Ron or I, why should we have an opinion?"

"Ginny!" Mrs Weasley exclaimed. "Watch your tone young lady!"

Ginny made a face and stomped upstairs. They watched her go. Her bedroom door slammed seconds later.

"She's right though." Ron muttered. "It's not like we ever get a look in. It's always you and Harry."

"Ron!" Hermione cried in dismay, "Don't say that!"

"Well it is, isn't it?" Ron replied tersely, not meeting her eyes. "This whole holiday you two have been curled up together! All nice and cosy in your own little world. Well I exist too you know!"

Hermione rocked back on her heels in shock. Ron seemed to realise what he said and ran off. Another bedroom door slammed.

Mrs Weasley looked between Hermione and the stairs uncertainly. "I'm sorry dear." She said gently. "They'll calm down soon enough. I don't know what's gotten into them." But she followed them upstairs.

-0-

Hermione could hear knocking, and then Mrs Weasley's voice asking Ginny to let her in. She stood in the hallway, feeling slightly shell-shocked. "What, was that about?"

"They're jealous."

Hermione jumped, she'd forgotten Sirius was in the hallway also.

"You know how Ginny feels about Harry. And Ron," Sirius paused, he wasn't sure if he should reveal what everyone but Ron and Hermione could see, "Ron always was a little jealous of Harry anyway."

"But, but, I don't like Harry." Hermione said faintly. "I mean, yes, I like him, he's great, but not, like like-" she stammered.

Sirius smiled and took pity on her. "He's your little brother?"

"Exactly. He looks up to me to make things right and to soothe him. Ron must think- I couldn't-" Sirius just smiled knowingly at her, and disappeared of into the mouldering house.

Hermione was sitting nervously at the kitchen table when Harry, Remus and Moody returned. She jumped up when they entered the kitchen. Harry sat down heavily whilst Remus busied himself making a pot of tea. Moody, sociable as ever, just nodded to Remus, and left almost immediately.

"How was it?" Hermione asked timidly, slipping back into her seat.

"I don't want to talk about it." Harry said gloomily.

They sat in silence. Awkward on Hermione's part, and sullen on Harry's. Remus set tea down in front of them all. "I'll just take these to the others." He said quietly, leaving the kitchen with a procession of cups of tea floating behind him. The tea had gone almost cold before the next person spoke.

"It wasn't an office." Harry said suddenly. "I thought they'd take me to some shrink's office, but apparently even though they'd investigated the lady, all her staff, and patients, they couldn't have me with a stranger in an "unsecured location"." He stopped speaking again as suddenly as he'd started. "We were on grassy headland. By the sea."

Hermione looked up in surprise. "You went to the seaside?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Yep. Moody was going on about how they could see anyone coming, and apparently you can't plant bugs in a wholly natural environment. Need something artificial to attach it to." He frowned. "Hermione, how does a wizard plant bugs?"

"Eaves dropper spells." Hermione muttered. "Spy Eyes. Or Extendible Ears now, I guess. But, the seaside?"

"Yeah. Then at the end Dumbledore turned up with a picnic."

"Harry, are you sure you weren't asleep? This sounds like a very surreal dream to me."

Harry grinned. He was silent for a moment. "The Durselys never took me to the sea." Hermione reached across the table and took hold of his hand. Harry didn't look up, but when Hermione squeezed, he returned it gratefully.

Unseen, Ron stepped drew back from the door with an anger he couldn't explain.