A/N: How weird, I'm usually never this consistent an updater. Ah well. Thank the magic plot-pixies, nibbling on my frontal lobe. Ouch.
I do not own Young Justice
2 AM
IV.
In Which No One Wants to Fetch the Midnight Snacks
"Honey…" Wally whines, crossing his legs atop of Roy's lap. "I'm huuuuungry…"
Wally, who unfortunately has the spectacular legs and ass of Olympic champs, and Roy, who has the willpower of a tumbleweed when it comes to anything regarding them, pauses in his reading.
"Darling," Roy mocks, setting the Sports section down on top of his legs. "You're always hungry."
Wally doesn't blink an eye, throwing on more endearments.
"Get me something?" He smiles winningly, setting his chin against his hand and leaning forward. "Please, snookums?"
"Okay, one? Oh my god, what the fuck. Never call me that again. Two, the kitchen is literally four steps that way."
"But you're closer."
He crosses his ankles and reacquaints Roy with sculpted calves and lean thighs. And smiles. Damn freckles. Roy sits himself up, with as much composure as possible. Fine, two could play at this game.
"But baby, I'm tired from getting chased by security guards all this afternoon. Can't it wait?" To achieve maximum effectiveness, Roy tilts his head woefully to the side as he talks.
Wally doesn't budge. Maybe nudges Roy's side with his toes a little.
"Please, boo?" He sighs for added effect. "I just got through two god-awful essays last night and a lab full of screw-up partners this morning. And then the Rogues started making trouble, and a bank got robbed on my way home…"
"Man, did I tell you about how I almost got rear-ended twice today on the freeway? What a clusterfuck. And I saw this guy trying to throw himself off a fire escape on my way home. Something about losing all his shares, good-bye cruel world…"
"Did you save him?"
"Ran all the way up eight flights of stairs." And Roy sinks down on the couch, slouching in a way that he's fully aware Wally finds irresistible. "So… my feet are tired."
Wally looks impassive.
"Oh, that's a shame."
"Uh huh."
There is a stalemate in which both consider the other carefully, trying to scrounge up more excuses.
"I couldn't find my keys this morning."
"I was late for the subway."
"I stepped in gum. I loved those shoes."
"A dog ran into my legs and I almost face planted down a flight of stairs."
"This woman cut me off on Wilson Ave."
"The library didn't have the book I needed for reference."
"Kurt Cobain died."
"… Roy, that happened a decade ago."
"I know. I'm still getting over it."
"Well," and Roy can't recall when it happened, but somehow Wally's situated in his lap and he's brushing the backs of his knuckles against Roy's cheekbone. "I'm still tired from last night…"
Play dumb, Roy.
"What were we doing last night, again?"
And Wally shoots him this look which essentially says 'You're kidding, right?' before Wally's breath is warming the shell of his ear as he whispers, "I think some ice-cream can jog my memory... hm, stud? I'm sure I can give you a refresher if you… really don't remember."
The sheer ridiculousness of Wally's words still doesn't negate the fact that Roy can feel all blood draining from his brain and rushing south.
"Wally, did you ever consider becoming a phone-sex operator? Because I swear…"
"Only where you're concerned, babe." He happily kisses his cheek. "Rocky-Road. We finished all the Cherry Garcia."
Roy sighs as long-sufferingly as is possible to sigh, whilst some redheaded babe is seated in his lap. He then promptly shoves Wally off and goes to grab two spoons.
A/N: Been catching up with Friends lately (a decade behind everybody else) as you can probably tell from the way this came out. Chandler and Monica are too funny.
That being said, I love hilariously stupid pet-names. Was considering using doll, pumpkin, hunny-bear, baby-cakes and stud-muffin. I then promptly deemed it far too absurd, even for my sense of humor. Troll-tastic and lazy as those boys may be.
I had a lot of fun writing this one (all in one sitting, can you believe it?).
Review if it made you laugh.
vivevoce