Someone Still Believes in You

Disclaimer: I own no part of Once and Again and I own no part of the song Someone Still Believes in You by Mary Beth Maziarz. I love the song and since I don't make vids, I do the next best thing with the song! I simply enjoy both and add my own little twist.

Author's Note: I posted the first part ages ago and I'm finally getting around to reworking and posting the second part. This fic takes place after the Gardenia episode in season three and I suppose also during Falling into Place. These are some of the Black and Whites and other scenes I thought could happen, should have happened, or maybe wished would happen during the episode. Thank you for reading and I hope yall enjoy!


Cause I remember when your spirit shone
Smiling you'd light up a room
Lately you move in angry shadows
Please know someone still believes in you

Rick B&W

He's sitting in chair looking thoughtfully into the camera. "The kids need her so much still. In an odd way, I still need her. She was my wife. I shared a large chunk of my life with her, how could I forget that so easily?Karen has been walking around and going through the motions but there was no feeling there, no emotion, and too much anger. She was angry with all of us and I was too blind to see it. She had every right to be angry with so many things in her life. I know she's got the strength left to fight through this…to fight her way back to all of us…to be the mom, the woman she once was without the anger and hurt and resentment. I have faith in her and I wish I knew how to tell her without it sounding forced, as though I'm only saying the words to make her better. I truly believe she'll be okay. I truly believe she's got the strength to recover completely from everything.

Maybe you're fighting secret battles
Maybe you're disappointed with your hand
If I could help you find a ladder up
From the depths you're in
Let me in

Lily went to the hospital alone. She had to see Karen and she didn't want anyone else around. However, she had no idea if Karen would want to see her.

B&W

Stares into the darkness. "So many things I could have handled so very differently. None of it could have ever been easy no matter what any of us did. From the beginning there were so many mistakes."

She stepped into the doorway and took a deep breath. Lily looked at Karen and thought she was asleep. As she turned to leave she heard Karen whisper her name.

"Hi" was all she said.

"Hey" was the answer she received.

Lily walked into the room, took off her jacket, and laid it across one of the chairs. "Wait, I should ask if you mind my being here before I take my coat off and get comfortable.

B&W

"Oh my god could I be more insensitive? She's in that bed in so much pain and what am I even doing here? She's my husband's ex-wife and what right do I possibly have to be here?" Sitting in a chair she leans back and wipes tears from her eyes. "I care, I really do. I hate seeing her like this. I hate what's happened to her. It breaks my heart to see everything she's going through and all the things yet to come that she'll have to endure. She needs people around that love her. I need her to know I'll do everything I can to make sure her kids…and Rick…are there for her; in any way she might need them. I will not keep them from her or her recovery. Now how could I possibly tell her all these things and not have her think I'm the horrible woman she's known all this time."

Karen managed a small smile. "Sit." She took as deep a breath as she could and cleared her throat. "I don't hate you anymore."

Lily was surprised. "What?" She paused for an instant; surprised that Karen chose to begin with that statement. "Really?"

Karen closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "Not anymore. Oh, I did, don't get me wrong, I definitely hated you. Maybe I hated the fact that you made Rick happier than I ever had and my kids liked you and maybe I never really hated you, just everything you were in my family's life that I never was. You took over. You had the moments with them that I used to have and they didn't need me anymore." She coughed and grimaced.

"Here, some water." Lily handed her some water and Karen mumbled a thank you. "And you're wrong. Those two beautiful kids of yours are the people they are simply because of you and Rick and the amazing job you did raising them. I had nothing to do with making them the people they are today. That was all you Karen. I have to thank you for allowing me to have them in my life." She paused and took a deep breath. "Is there anything you need? Anything you want me to do for you? I…I…" She didn't know what else to say or how to explain the jumbled thoughts floating around in her head.

"Take care of my kids. Let them see me whenever they want. Don't let them blame themselves." Tears formed in Karen's eyes. "It was all a horrible accident. I was feeling better you know. Hadn't felt as good in months and I was smiling…a genuine smile right before it happened." She sighed. "I'm worried about Jess."

"I know. I am too. She was worried about you. Rick did the best he could to convince her you would be fine and then…the accident. I wasn't sure what to do Karen. She hated me for wanting to be close to her, for trying to be close to her and helping her. I'm okay with that. I'll let her hate me as long as she needs to as long as it will help her in some way." Lily looked into Karen's eyes and felt tears in her own eyes.

Lily B&W

She's sitting on a stool with a stand beside her. On the stand is a box of tissues. Lily reaches over and grabs a tissue and wipes her eyes. "What right do I have to cry? I can stand up and walk out of this room and go home to my husband and my kids. Karen's kids. I should not be crying."

Karen managed another smile. "She doesn't hate you either. She might hate the fact that she can't hate you as a person because she wants so much to hate you, to be angry with you, to blame you for everything, but I know her and deep down she does not hate you."

"She's so beautiful, inside and out."

"Yes she is. So is Eli. He came to see me. I wasn't sure he would come after everything that happened. After all the things we said to one another." More tears came to Karen's eyes and Lily took her hand.

"Shh, it's okay. He loves you, I know he does. He worries so much about what you'll think of him and he wants to do everything perfectly, and make the right decisions to make you proud. He wants so much to make you proud of him and no matter what you will ever say or do, I'm afraid he's the type that won't truly believe." Lily looked at Karen and could see frustration in her eyes as they spoke of Eli.

Lily left not long after and as she walked out the door, she heard a faint "thank you" from Karen. Turning, she softly spoke. "I should be thanking you for letting me sit with you. Sweet dreams Karen. I'll bring Jessie in later. Bye."

"Bye Lily." Lily closed the door as Karen closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Every day I'm praying for you
For some kind of love again
To open your eyes

Karen had just finished her physical therapy session with Henry when Judy arrived. He walked out the door and Judy smiled at him. She was still smiling as she sat beside Karen's bed.

"Hey. Feeling any better?"

"No. Now I'm exhausted and that man doesn't even care. He pushes and pushes and he's rather obnoxious as he's grabbing my legs and yanking them all over the place." Karen sighed.

"He's cute."

"I'm complaining and all you can say is that he's cute?" She thought a moment and added "no, he actually isn't cute at all."

Judy smiled. "I'm here to take your mind off everything. And yes he is. There are some handsome doctors around here too. Karen, this is the perfect time for you to completely start over. This really is the perfect opportunity for a brand new start on life. Don't look at me that way Karen Sammler. You're going to get your butt up out of that bed, walk down that hall, out that door, and live again. It's high time you stop hiding and open your eyes to all the beauty around you. I know, I'm learning that myself. Life isn't nearly as deplorable as I once thought it could be. Ugh, I sound like a shrink don't I? I need to stay away from our self help section."

"Yes you do. Burn them all…either that or stay away from me after you've read them. Do you really think he's handsome?" Karen looked at Judy.

"Henry?" Karen nodded and Judy continued. "Yes, he is."

"Why do I need a man in my life?"

"You don't. No woman needs a man to survive. They just make life a little more fun and a lot more bearable sometimes. Although, they can make life a hell of a lot more confusing." Judy smiled warmly at her friend wondering how they'd become so close when they'd met in such an unconventional way.

The two discussed men and life. They talked of love and Karen tried to remember what it was like to truly laugh. She'd spent so much time worrying and feeling sorry for herself that she forgot how to live. She smiled realizing Judy was absolutely correct. As horrible as her situation is now, it truly is the perfect chance to start all over. Her fresh new start with her fresh new outlook on her life.

Keep yourself safe
I'm coming home soon
And I wanna recognize you there

He walked down the hall and heard laughter. His mom would be released in a day or so and he wanted to make certain she still wanted him to take her home and stay with her. As he got closer to her door, he realized the laughter was coming from his mom and he smiled. "Hey Mom. You look better."

"Hi E. Yes, I think I am. Still hurts, and I'm still slow, but I'm getting better each and every day." Karen said with pride.

Eli knew it was more than her wounds healing. Her heart was healing. She was getting back to her old self…but better. A million times better. He looked at his mother and he was shocked to see her eyes. Joy. There was finally joy in her eyes. He walked to her and gently gave her a hug. "It's great to see you Mom." He knew those words had a deeper meaning and in his heart he realized his mom knew it as well. She would be okay. They would all be okay.

Cause I remember you from way back when
When life seemed brighter and your smile did too
You have the power to bring it back again
I'm someone who is not giving up on you
Cause I remember when your spirit shone
Smiling you'd light up a room
Lately you might move in shadows
But please know that someone still believes in you
Someone still believes in you…

He'd been visiting her off and on since she'd returned home from the hospital. Rick saw the life slowly come back into her eyes. He saw her healing on the outside as well as on the inside. She was becoming the woman she once was…yet there was something different. Something better, stronger. The light was back in her eyes. He stood at her front door and heard laughter. Karen's laughter. He smiled. She was going to be okay and he no longer needed to protect her. Rick always believed someday she'd be okay and he now realized that day was closer than any of them had ever imagined just a few months ago.

Rick B&W

He is sitting on a stool smiling. "She's going to be okay. I see Karen growing stronger every day. She and Eli were talking and laughing the other day. The two of them. They were laughing. It had been so long since I'd heard either of them really laugh and each time I look into Karen's eyes these days I see the light. I see the joy in her eyes. She stillhas a long way to go of course and she still needs all of us." His smile broadens. "Just like we all need her in our lives." Sighing, he looks off to the side, the smile remaining.