Em's hands were shaking. She couldn't go to school. She couldn't face him. Not after she'd shown so much weakness. Not after she'd...
You didn't kiss him, she reminded herself. Pretend it didn't happen. Because it didn't. You were upset. He hugged you. That was all. It didn't happen.
She couldn't allow herself to admit to it. If she admitted to it she'd admit to the feelings that were beginning to blossom for this boy and that couldn't happen. She couldn't let someone else have any sort of control over her. She had reliquished enough control as it were. And now? Now she couldn't afford to slip up like she had.
It didn't happen.
Em slipped out of the house and into the chill morning air as swiftly and as quietly as a soft summer breeze. Today she was dressed in black fishnet stockings under black denim shorts that hit her mid-thigh. They were decorated with safety pins up the side seams. A lose charcoal grey tanktop with a faded skull screen-printed onto the back was topped off with her usual leather jacket. Long black boots reached up to her knees, buckled and laced expertly. Her eyes were thickly lined and shadowed a dark black. Peircings were as present as ever. Little did anyone know under the mask she painted on daily, under that expertly applied concealer and foundation were bruises of all kinds, some of them faded and yellow, some of them fresh and a violent purple. Metal bangles hung on her wrists like shackles.
The walk to school was quiet as always. A cigarette was gracefully balanced between her long bony fingers and its smoke swirled into the misty air. She brought the tobacco rolled up in paper to her lips and took a long hit of it, letting the nicotine settle in her system and calm her nerves.
It didn't happen.
Cigarette ashed out and books in hand, Em moved soundlessly into Homeroom. She felt a pair of eyes on her immediately. They could only belong to one person and that was the one person she wanted to evade. She took her seat and stared at her notebook, making little scribble drawings with a pen that was running out of ink.
Ben's eyes lingered on her.
She didn't say a word. She didn't have to. All it took was a look. One single, simple look that spoke volumes.
Fuck off.
If a heart could shatter, Ben's did. In that moment every hope he'd had about her had just crumbled into a million peices. He stared, incredilous, confused... Heartbroken. The bell rang. Ben still sat there. It took a sharp jab in the ribs from Jeff and a yank on the arm from Rob to snap him out of his stupor.
"Man, you okay?" Jeff asked, snapping his fingers in front of Ben's eyes.
Ben shrugged. "I'm fine."
Rob gave him a look. "You don't look fine. C'mon, we've got Math. Then free period. After that you better start talking."
Jeff nodded his approval and all three of them walked to first period, one of them still in a daze. Ben felt a pang of worry when he saw that Em wasn't in class, but at the same time he was almost relieved. It would give him more time to recover, more time to distract himself with schoolwork. More time to debate confronting the elusive Em Andrews.