Kurt's alarm went off thirty minutes earlier that Monday morning.
It was the first day of his senior year and he had been too tired the night before to plan an outfit.
Stepping out of bed, Kurt shivered at how cold the floor felt against his warm feet, and so scurried off into his bathroom. He started a shower and lazily brushed his teeth while the water got hot, never glancing directly at his reflection in the big square mirror.
He let the water wash away every sign of sleep from his features and tried to relax under the hot waterfall. Today is going to be a good day, he thought, I don't need Blaine.
The minute he thought it, he knew how big a lie it was.
Blaine Anderson, his first love, long gone, but still too close.
Every inch of Kurt's body ached at the thought of his boyfriend. His ex-boyfriend. But it wasn't fair for Kurt to be in so much pain, while Blaine was probably fine. At least, there's no real reason for Blaine not to be fine. He cheated. He knew the consequences of what he was doing when he did it – he knew he'd lose Kurt and he still didn't care.
Kurt's eyes closed tightly and his head arched back so the water hit right on his face. You promised you wouldn't do this to yourself, Hummel, just stop. He focused on the sound of his own breathing, and then on how each stream of hot water felt against his cheeks, then his shoulders, then his chest. He needed a distraction – anything.
After what seemed like an eternity, Kurt dried down, applied deodorant and each of his three different skin products, to then style his hair with two other products. Once in underwear, he stood in front of his open closet and invested all his attention on the neatly hanged clothes. After deciding that today's outfit would be simple, without many layers, he grabbed his white V-neck and navy blue cardigan, followed by the best pair of well-fitted jeans he owned, then got dressed.
Glancing back at the alarm clock on his bedside table, he saw that most of his pre-calculated thirty minutes were up. Things were going as planned.
Kurt put on a pair of navy blue Vans to match his cardigan and then left the room with his black messenger bag already equipped with everything he'd need for the day.
On the way downstairs, he could already feel the sweet smell of French toast filling his nostrils and hear Finn laughing at something Burt probably said.
"Good morning, dad. Hey, Finn." Kurt let out while grabbing an apple from the refrigerator and taking a bite. Finn's eyes now followed his brother's each step with a worried expression on his face and Kurt immediately knew why. Finn had seen Kurt running into his room crying the last night.
"How are you, bro?" Finn asked, trying to seem casual, while Kurt just tried not to get irritated. He appreciated the concern, but he really didn't want to talk about it.
"I'm fine. Thanks."
Burt looked over at Kurt with raised eyebrows but decided to let it go for the moment. He knew his son too well.
"Want toast?" He asked instead, and Kurt shook his head, raising the apple in his hand so his father could see.
"I think I'm going to head out already," Kurt said, not really thinking, even though first period would only start in forty minutes.
Burt didn't argue.
"Do you need a ride?" Kurt looked at Finn, hoping the answer would be no.
"Puck said we'd go together, but thanks."
"Alright," Kurt sighed, and then forced a smile at his dad. "I'll see you later."
Last week, Kurt had made plans with Blaine to go together to school too. It's kind of funny how quickly things can change – except, of course, Kurt wasn't the one laughing.
At school, everything had not gone as planned.
By the end of 5th period Kurt couldn't stand the sight of Blaine walking from class to class as if nothing was wrong. When the boy shot Kurt a smile before the bell rang, the smartest decision was to find a decent stall in the bathroom and stay there until Kurt's heart decided to not be an ass.
There he stood leaning against the door from the inside, heavily breathing, using everything he had not to completely fall apart.
The tears burned through his eyelids as the memory of Blaine in a bed with someone else burst in front of him. Kurt couldn't believe it – it was too surreal, too fake. Blaine, his Blaine, so kind and caring, the owner of those puppy eyes that once looked at Kurt with such passion… It couldn't have been the same person from last night.
Kurt's head was spinning, trying to make sense of the situation. Between each tear came a sob, then a pinch, a failed attempt to wake up from what could only be a nightmare.
The tiny part of his brain that wasn't clouded by feelings was going over the past summer, seeking a valid reason for Blaine to have cheated, except there really wasn't – Kurt was sure of that much; they hadn't been fighting and the sex was still amazing. All in all, things were the way they had always been between them.
But then again, there was no such thing as a valid reason to cheat.
That summer Kurt had seen a different side to his ex-boyfriend; Blaine had gotten reckless, always asking to go out for drinks at a gay bar called Scandals. He claimed he wanted to meet more people from the LGBT community. After declining so many offers, Blaine got the habit of going solo.
And right now, in a dirty bathroom stall, all Kurt felt was stupid, like maybe it was his fault this was happening; his fault the love of his life didn't think he was enough. His fault Blaine fucked some nameless man-whore in the bed they once made love on.
Right now, Kurt was crying and banging his head on the door, trying to block out the big explanation mark in his brain –had last night been the first time Blaine was with someone else?
He never loved me, Kurt concluded.
Because love doesn't just end like this.
***
When Kurt felt that he had spent more than enough time in that stall, 6th period was close to over and the first Glee Club meeting of the year would soon be starting.
He left the bathroom trying to look as confident as he could manage, and marched off into the choir room, only to find Brittany and Santana making out in a far corner.
"Let's get ourselves together, girls," Kurt announced, clapping his hands together twice and then placing his messenger bag on top of his lap while sitting on the first chair he saw.
Santana's head immediately jerked away from Brittany, leaving the girl kissing air.
"Kurt!" Santana called with a smile. "I was a bit disappointed to not have you gaying up 6th period. Such a waste of 50 minutes."
"Now I understand why you left early." Kurt teased, forcing a smile, really trying to reciprocate the girl's excitement.
He grew to like Santana quite a lot over the summer, while Blaine was off at Scandals. On the nights that felt a bit too lonely, he'd call up all the girls to watch movies and eat chocolate.
Even though he was more than used to Brittany and Santana making out by now, he couldn't help the sting that struck his heart. They were in love – Santana with Brittany and Brittany with Santana, exactly the way it should be. Kurt knew what it was like, love, long looks into the other's eyes, desperate kisses in case time lacked – but now, he knew what it was like when time actually was up.
"Kurt, where are your princess clothes?" Brittany asked, looking genuinely upset.
"I wasn't feeling it today, Brit, sorry." He gave her a smug smile and then looked back at the door, where the tiny Ms. Rachel Berry came storming in, arms wide open, running towards Kurt.
"Aaaaaah!" She yelled, wrapping her arms around the boy's neck when reaching him.
"'Aaaah' to you too!" Kurt shot back, not as exuberant, but good enough for the girl to keep on smiling. "I'll pretend we didn't see each other fifty minutes ago so I don't kill your vibe."
Rachel pouted for maybe a split second and then moved on to greet S. and Brit, still sitting together at the other side of the room, hands wrapped around one another's.
The next to come in was Puck, then Finn, and Kurt's heart started racing when he realized Blaine would eventually come through that door.
And he did, not a minute later.
Rachel had then already established herself in a chair between Kurt and Finn. She held on to Kurt's hand, jumping in her seat and then calling out Blaine's name when she saw him.
"Hey there, pretty boy!" She greeted, while Kurt just focused on not making eye contact. He didn't need that right now.
Mercedes came in next and that was enough to get Kurt moving, trying to look busy so it wasn't so awkward with Blaine. Mercedes sat on the chair behind Kurt's, which was convenient. The boy looked back at her and talked about the movies they had seen two days before until Mr. Shue came in.
There were many cheers and laughs, conversations about summer and what were the plans for this year's Glee Club. Kurt didn't pay full attention to any of it, but smiled and nodded every time his name came up.
Time flew once everyone started getting up to sing. Rachel started, of course, and sometimes Kurt would even join in, but his heart wasn't in it. Unfortunately, his heart was with someone who didn't appreciate it.
When Mr. Shue dismissed the glee club, Santana was immediately at Kurt's side inviting him to go to the Lima Bean.
"You, me, Brit and Rachel." She said, and then added, "Mercedes had to rush home for some church thing."
Kurt nodded. This was good – a distraction.
When him and the group of girls were at the parking lot, Rachel followed Kurt to his car, explaining that she had gone to school with Mercedes and so needed a ride.
The whole drive to the coffee shop was made up of Rachel singing along to the songs on the radio and quizzing Kurt about Hollywood stars. It wasn't bad either, Kurt admitted. It was normal, and that's all he really needed.
A bell on the door went off when he and Rachel entered the Lima Bean, and he spotted Brit and S. already a table next to the cashier.
"The coffee's on me," he said, hanging his messenger bag at the side of one of the chairs and then heading to the front desk with his wallet. From all the long days spent in here with the girls this summer, Kurt had already memorized each of their coffee orders.
While waiting for the coffees to get ready, Kurt decided to look around, wanting to keep himself busy.
The Lima Bean wasn't particularly full, but it wasn't empty either. Besides him and the three girls, there were two more groups of teenagers crowding different spots in the shop. One was a group of five boys from Dalton, some still in their blazers while other's had theirs hanging on a chair. Absolutely perfect for Kurt to not think about Blaine.
The other group of teens were standing at the other side of the room, laughing loudly and making comments on something Kurt didn't care enough about to understand.
"Sir," the cashier called, "here you go."
Kurt grabbed the four coffees and handed them out to each of the girls before sitting down.
"So, what's wrong?" Rachel said to him, as if it was the obvious topic for conversation.
"Uh – what? Nothing." Kurt mumbled. Was he really that obvious?
"Spill it out, doll face, and don't you dare lie to us," Santana interjected, and Kurt sighed.
He sighed and decided he'd be straightforward. "I caught Blaine cheating on me."
That statement was followed by loud gasps from each of the girls. Brittany looked like she could even cry.
The silence lasted a second too long, and Kurt felt like he could too.
Santana and Rachel both reached out for him, S. grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight, Rachel wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"I just … I don't know what to do," Kurt let out, his voice breaking, and Santana shushed him.
"Knowing you, the first thing you did was find a way to blame yourself," she said, and Kurt felt his heart sink deeper. "But don't. Blaine's an idiot to have done that, and you deserve so much better, okay?"
Kurt nodded, trying to let those words have cause some effect.
"I'll find you a better pony, Kurt," Brittany suggested, and it was so spontaneous that Kurt actually giggled.
"Thanks, but I don't –,"
"Brittany's right," Rachel interrupted, seeming to have liked what Brit said a bit too much. "You need to find yourself a hook up, Kurt Hummel, and quickly. Screw Blaine! You can do much better!"
Kurt felt confused – he thought the girls would let him mourn and sink his worries into a carton of ice cream. This was not at all what he was expecting.
"Pick someone, S." Brittany said, getting excited.
Santana didn't even look around before scooting closer to Kurt to say in a lower tone; "There's a boy from Dalton over there that hasn't taken his eyes off you since you came in."
Kurt blushed, "You're crazy."
"Take a look for yourself." Rachel added with a mischievous smile.
Kurt tried to subtly look back at the group of boys wearing the Dalton uniform. Santana was right; a tall and slim brunette was staring at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. Kurt didn't exactly understand the expression on the boy's face at first, but was suddenly too excited to care.
Turning back to Santana, he let out a nervous laugh. "What do I do?"
"Go get back at Blaine!" She answered, and the girls cheered.
Kurt stood up, trying to fight back the thoughts in his head shouting at him to sit back down and think about Blaine. Blaine didn't think about me when he was screwing some stranger, did he? And that was all the motivation he needed to walk up to the group of Dalton boys.
"Hi there," Kurt said as flirty as possible while looking at his target, but immediately regretted it. When the boy showed no sign of moving, Kurt smiled sheepishly and added: "Excuse me?"
What in the world am I doing?
The brunette stood up, smirking, and walked over to Kurt curiously, but not saying a word in response.
After a second of awkward silence, Kurt continued; "My friend over there said you were staring at me," and pointed back at Santana, who winked at the two.
Kurt controlled his breathing while the boy smiled, looking at his group of friends while passing long fingers through what seemed to be very silky hair.
When looking back down at Kurt – because yes, he was that much taller –, his expression was of pure and utter amusement. Kurt felt something different deep inside the boy's eyes – it sparkled familiarly.
"Hi, Kurt. I'm –," the boy started, but Kurt didn't need to hear anymore.
That voice, smooth and song-like, tingled up his spine and through his heart, setting off innumerous amounts of feelings he couldn't name even if he wanted to.
Those eyes – a weird mix of blue and hazel and green that Kurt was practically programmed to dislike.
And God, that damn smirk.
Of course, it was Sebastian Smythe.