'So, I keep going over the last things I said to you, weeks before you died. Like saying you were mediocre, a sympathy vote. I didn't even mean that. I was upset that I didn't get a company contract and I took it out on you; I lost you. I love you and I miss you and there are so many things that I regret: things I said to you, how I didn't try to get you back last time. I never stopped loving you, never got over you, but I still never went after you. Biggest mistake of my life, because you're gone and you never knew how I really felt. But you were amazing. An amazing dancer, an awesome friend, the best boyfriend ever. You know, us lot still stayed close after you died. I suppose that was your doing, teaching us how stay and fight instead of run, make time for each other no matter what else was happening. Sometimes I still wear that stupid cardigan; you know even though I wore it in the rain, it still smells like you. I call your voicemail just to hear you speak in case I forget what you sounded like. Kat doesn't know it, but I know it's her who pays your bill. I carry your picture in my wallet, but I'll never forget your face, your personality. I can't say, or dance, or live my goodbye. But I can love. Because I know it's what you would want. Me to move on and love someone else if I can't love you. It'll take some time, but when my heart decides it's time to move on, I'll know I have, and it'll be for you.' Ollie crossed the road at the lights near the tree where wreath after wreath had been laid, and tried not to imagine how it happened, because he didn't want to think of Sammy like that, lying on the ground, waiting for an ambulance to arrive and then dying before he reached the hospital.