Equestria: The Adventures of Sniper and Heavy
Chapter 4: A Plot Revealed
Note from the Medic: Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!
Sniper made a sigh of relief when he noticed that his stupid yet effective method of smiling and acting good calmed the ponies down. They were actually relaxing for once and with Pinkie's persuasion that Sniper was a good human and not like the ones mentioned in some of the old mare's tales, Sniper could ease his stance as the ponies became friendlier towards him but his right hand subconsciously touched the hilt of his kukri. Sniper was still in unfamiliar territory and it pays to be careful lest something bad happens to him.
He surveyed his surroundings again. The crowd seemed harmless enough…at least for now and it would be wise not to stir up any unrest by making sudden movements or drawing any of his weapons. Sniper played along and continued his façade and while calling himself Mr. Happy Smiles seemed rather silly, Sniper decided to stick with it now that the ponies called him Mr. Happy Smiles instead of Sniper which, truthfully, sounded like some monster, at least to the ponies. Luckily his teammates were not here to see him in his predicament. He would never hear the end of their mocking and teasing, especially from people like Scout.
"You really gotta relax those stiff shoulders, Sniper, I mean Mr. Happy Smiles," Pinkie Pie said while giving him a shoulder massage.
"How's it that it feels like you have fingers but in reality, you have none at all?" Sniper asked.
"What do you mean?" Pinkie Pie asked back with genuine curiosity.
"Never mind, I was just thinking aloud," Sniper muttered and shrugged Pinkie Pie aside.
The ponies were busy going on with the preparation activities but none of them noticed Sniper edging towards the open door. They were calm now and this was his chance to finally make a run for it. No more crazy ponies and no more pastel-colored nightmares. He would make a break for the forest, live there until his teammates could recover him. Living off the land was easy for Sniper and he'd rather wrestle with a bear than face with unpredictable ponies.
"Where're you going, Mr. Happy Smiles?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Sniper stopped in his tracks. He was thankful that Pinkie Pie helped diffuse some of the tension but he was not thankful for the fact that she saw him trying to leave. Sniper wanted to be by himself, live by himself and follow his own rules; not the rules of ponies. Pinkie or not, he just wanted out.
"I'm going…fishing…by the river," Sniper lied and walked towards the exit quickly.
"But there're no rivers in Ponyville; just small streams," Pinkie explained.
"I'm going to the uh…forest, whatever that forest's name is called," Sniper said while trying his best to hide the fact that he was lying. He had no fishing gear to begin with.
Thankfully though, Pinkie Pie seemed to accept his reason. "Okie dokie lokie, just don't be late for the party!" she said cheerfully and went back to decorating the Sugarcube Corner while Sniper slipped out of the establishment.
"Heh heh heh, that was easy," Sniper muttered with a dark chuckle.
Without looking back, Sniper slipped away into the forest without any of the townsfolk noticing him. He could not believe his luck and even though he may not have the luxury of a roof over his head, that could easily be taken care of with a little survival skill and right knowhow. The first thing he needed now was some meat to eat. Pony diet did not agree with his stomach at walking towards the river he fell into yesterday, Sniper heard conversations going on behind some bushes. He quickly hid himself inside one and peeked out to see who was talking.
Yonder by some trees, in front of a strange-looking Stonehenge-like structure were several white pegasus in golden armor. Sniper counted around ten of them and they looked like guards from a bygone era. While Sniper had the firepower, they still had him outnumbered and without proper intelligence on his enemies, it was best to avoid a fight.
"They've been here," one of the guards, presumably the captain of the group, said. "We've been hot on their tails yet they've eluded our capture every time."
"No way to know for sure," the other guard replied. "This altar looked like it hasn't been used for a long time."
"That doesn't explain the ashes on the ground. They look quite fresh to me," the captain said as he made circles in the ground with his hoof. "If Princess Celestia is right about the resurrection of the Nightmare cult, it's gonna give the defense ministry a lot of problems."
"You mean the mountain of paperwork they're always buried under? I'm surprised none of them are dead or at least suffocating under all that paper," the other guard joked.
"They'll be worrying more than just their paperwork, Aquilinus," the captain said flatly and went back to inspecting the other parts of the altar.
Sniper's curiosity was piqued. Even though it may not seem like it was his business to care about other people's affairs, he wanted to know what this Nightmare cult was. He remembered one of the ponies mentioning about some Nightmare Moon character. Perhaps this cult was dedicated to whatever Nightmare Moon was.
"Cult…cult…I wonder if those shadowy pony figures I saw in the forest yesterday were the cultists," Sniper muttered while rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
He did not want to stick around to find out though. Sniper wanted to avoid ponies, regardless of whether they were just an average Pony Joe or a guard. His first task now was to get away as far as possible and wait for help from his teammates. Sniper had forgotten that Heavy was also teleported along with him so he made no attempts to seek Heavy out and team up with him. Besides, he never liked that Russian anyway.
Sniper back away slowly but just as he was about to turn around and walk away, he stepped on several fallen twigs. The forest was unusually quiet and the sounds of snapping twigs sounded as clear as gunfire.
"Who goes there?" the guard named Aquilinus asked aloud and headed towards the source of the noise.
For a moment, Sniper felt his heart raced but he was quick to calm down. He reached for his submachine gun and stayed still in the bush. With the gun's safety off, he was prepared to shoot in case the guard caught him. However, being in a rather obvious hiding place, the guard never found him. Someone else did though.
"What are you doing here?" a feminine voice called out sternly from behind him.
The Australian nearly leapt out of his skin. He turned around quickly to look behind him and saw a winged unicorn with a multi-colored mane glaring at him. She looked taller than most of the ponies he met and judging by the crown she wore, this white alicorn has to be one of the royalty. Sniper took aim at the alicorn's head but just before he could pull the trigger, Sniper felt his gun being yanked out of his hand by some unseen force. Reacting quickly, Sniper rolled away to create more distance between him and the alicorn. She was just as tall as him but Sniper was determined to be beaten by a pony. He reached for his rifle and like before, his gun was yanked away by some unknown force. It has to be the alicorn doing it magically because his submachine gun levitated next to the alicorn and had a magical aura about it.
She just snatched away two weapons from him without dropping either one of them. Sniper decided against using his kukri against her because he knew she would just snatch it away from his grip like what she did with his other two weapons.
"A human? How is this possible?" the alicorn asked with astonishment.
"You're not the first one to ask that question, sheila," Sniper remarked. "But I'll be frank with you, I don't want any trouble."
"Humans are trouble in my book and as long as there're humans here in Equestria, I'll put a stop to them," the alicorn said.
Just then, two pegasus guards flew out of nowhere and tackled Sniper to the ground. They were strong with their punches and every punch Sniper threw at them, he received two more to his face until his shades shattered and his face bloodied. In a last ditch attempt to fight them off, Sniper deftly reached for his melee weapon and slashed one of the guards across the chest. The guard cried out in pain as the blade cut through the surprisingly thin chest armor and sliced bare skin and lacerated the guard's chest. Blood spurted onto the ground and Sniper's face.
As if excited by the fact that they could be hurt despite the stoic and tough look the guards wore, Sniper decided to attack the other guard. The guard was taken by surprise when Sniper grabbed his front legs and pulled, dropping the pegasus to the ground. The Australian was about to deliver a stab to the guard's face when a hard object smacked him in the back of his head. It was hard enough to make black stars explode in his vision before falling to the ground unconscious.
"Are you alright, Aquilinus?" the alicorn asked the guard while dropping the sniper rifle which she used to club Sniper in the head.
"Yeah, I'm fine thanks to you, Your Highness," Aquilinus grunted as he picked himself up from the ground. "We have to get Breno to the infirmary!" he exclaimed when he saw his injured colleague.
"I'll have the medics take care of him. For now, I want you to tie up that human and bring him back to Caterlot for questioning. I have a feeling he's connected to the Nightmare cult," the alicorn said calmly before she dropped the submachine gun and left the area to check on the stone alter.
Aquilinus stared at the unconscious Sniper and snorted. "I thought Princess Celestia ran the lot of you out from Equestria one thousand five hundred years ago. I'm surprised to see your kind still lingering here," he added softly and went to tend to his comrade.
Meanwhile, back at Fluttershy's cottage, Heavy, or Mr. Bear according to his new identity given by Fluttershy, Heavy was enjoying a lazy afternoon with Fluttershy sleeping on his lap while Rainbow Dash was lazing on a bed of clouds that she made above Fluttershy's cottage. She wanted to keep an eye on Heavy in case he hurt Fluttershy but she never was good at keeping watch. She fell asleep even before Heavy could doze off.
"Ah, now this is the life," Heavy said to himself while his right hand unconsciously stroke Fluttershy's soft pink mane.
"Fluttershy, are yo home?"
The voice came from the front entrance of the cottage. At first, Heavy was excited because he thought Engineer had arrived to rescue him but when he realized the voice was feminine, his shoulders drooped. Whoever that voice belongs to, it sure had Engineer's accent but it did not come from a male. Heavy decided to ignore the voice and went back to relaxing. When nobody came to receive the guest, she started knocking on the door incessantly until it woke Fluttershy up. She stared lazily towards the door and looked at Heavy with a weak smile.
"Mr. Bear, could you be a dear and let Applejack in?" Fluttershy asked.
"Do ho ho, da, anything for Fluttershy," Heavy said with a hearty chuckle.
He placed the yellow pegasus on a couch and walked towards the door. He bumped into the ceiling more than once due to his height and nearly knocked down a vase. The Russian was clumsy but at least he did not break anything. When he opened the door, he was greeted by two ponies. One was an orange pony with light yellow tail and mane and wore a cowboy's hat while the other pony was a dark blue winged unicorn and was taller than the orange pony. The two were surprised to see a giant of a human standing at the door but the one that received the most surprise was the orange pony.
"Whoa nelly, Fluttershy, since when did you invite a gorilla over to your place?" Applejack asked while looking past Heavy.
"Oh, he's not a gorilla," Fluttershy corrected. "This is Mr. Bear and he's a human."
"A what now? Is that a new creature from the Everfree Forest?" Applejack wondered as she sized up Heavy, who was frowning at her for calling him a gorilla.
"By our mother's blood, how is this possible?" the alicorn exclaimed with surprise. "How is it that thy presence in Equestria went unfelt?"
Applejack turned to look at the surprised alicorn. "Princess Luna, you know something 'bout them?"
"Yes, a lot more than what thou could imagine. Humans were once inhabitants of this land before – "
"Alright, alright, save us the history lessons for later, princess," Applejack interrupted before Luna could talk about the history of the humans. "So…um…Mr. Bear, what brings you to this part of the town?" Applejack asked Heavy in a friendly manner.
"I was teleported here," Heavy said flatly.
"Teleported huh. Is there some kind of fancy machine Twilight made to bring you here?" Applejack wondered.
"Nyet, teleporter was made by Engineer," Heavy corrected.
Applejack did not seem convinced while Luna remained surprised as ever. Fluttershy did not seem at all bothered by Princess Luna's presence now that she has gotten used to her being a regular guest. For the past few months after Nightmare Night, Fluttershy had been tutoring Luna in the ways of common speak and speaking softly so as to not scare other ponies away when she talked. They were making progress but Luna still had some tendencies to use the traditional Canterlot voice and archaic terms.
Fluttershy had an idea. Perhaps she could give Heavy the honors of teaching the princess. His language was simple and understandable despite the occasional third-person reference and since Luna seemed to know a thing or two about humans, maybe they could get along just fine too.
"Please, do come in. We can start lessons right away," Fluttershy said.
Heavy stepped aside and let the ponies in. Both Applejack and Luna passed Heavy by with expressions of suspicion on their faces and they glared at him when they walked past him. Heavy did not seem concerned by their stares. He was still bigger and stronger than both of them but they were Fluttershy's friends and guests and it would be bad to attack them.
Back at Dustbowl…
"I'm gonna mail my boot to the Kaiser with your ass around it!" Soldier said gruffly after killing a BLU Medic.
He saw a shadow materialize behind him and knew it was a Spy. He reached for his shovel even though he knew it was too late to save himself from being backstabbed. Fortunately, the stab never came as the BLU Spy was shot in the head. Soldier thought it was Sniper but when he turned around, he saw Engineer instead with Frontier Justice in his hands.
"You had me excited for nothing, professor. I thought you were Sniper," Soldier said while wiping away some blood stains on his face.
"Nope, it's just me," Engineer said and pumped Frontier Justice once to eject the empty shell. "You can thank me later."
"I'll be thanking you once you've returned Heavy and Sniper," Soldier growled and reloaded Liberty Launcher. "Now, we've got a battle to win! We've got BLU on the run!"
Heavy charged into the fray once more with his rocket launcher blazing towards an oncoming BLU Demoman. It was good to see that a few minutes of planning showed some rather pleasing results and Engineer realized they could beat BLU even without Heavy and Sniper after all. Nevertheless, they were still part of the team and their roles were equally important as everyone else's.
While RED team pushed towards the last control point of Dustbowl, Scout spotted something from the corner of his eye floating about the sandy ground. When he turned his head to look at it, he saw nothing. That was not the last time he saw it though. Several times during the battle, he noticed the same black fleeting miasma darting about the buildings and occasionally the control points.
"Whoa, that is some freaky thing," Scout said. "Hey, you seeing this?" he called out to Medic, who was behind him.
"Vat did you see?" Medic asked as he was too busy sawing BLU Soldier's limbs off.
"I saw this…this black mist thing! It was here a second ago," Scout said and pointed at the newly captured point he was standing on.
Medic looked at the control point and raised an eyebrow. It did not seem out of the ordinary and except for a slightly dented surface, the control point was as normal as it could get. Medic though Scout was trying to pull his leg so he could laugh at him for falling into one of Scout's tricks. No, Medic was too smart for that.
"Very funny, Scout. Ze control point has nothing zhere," Medic said with a snort.
"No, seriously man, I saw it. I saw it from the corner of my eyes but when I looked at it directly, poof, it vanished!" Scout insisted.
He was trying hard to convince Medic about the strange thing he saw until he did not see a red dot painted on the back of his head. The BLU Sniper smiled. That babbling RED Scout had too much time in his hands and now he will pay for his lack of attention and for clubbing BLU Sniper's head a few minutes ago which killed him.
"I got you in my sights, you bloody wanka," BLU Sniper muttered.
Suddenly, the end of his scope went dark. BLU Sniper thought something had fallen in front of it but when he looked away from his scope, he found himself staring at a black-colored mist with tiny specks of white sparkles in it. BLU Sniper was mesmerized for a moment until he realized it meant trouble when the mist spoke to him.
"Evan Collins, you have the eyes of an eagle," said the mist in a hollow yet seductive voice. "What you see is what your enemies don't see. You are a great killing machine…and a cold-blooded killer."
"Oi, what exactly are you?" BLU Sniper asked.
"I am who I am. My identity shall be revealed in due time but from this moment forth, you and your fellow teammates will work for me. You are no longer BLU," the mist said as it swimmed around the BLU Sniper and caressed his cheek.
"Fat chance," BLU Sniper snorted. "You're only part of my imagination…or you're a spy. C'mere, I'll gut you alive!"
BLU Sniper tried to slash the blue mist but it dissipated and reappeared behind BLU Sniper. This time, instead of a formless shape, the mist had shaped itself into the figure which resembled a winged unicorn with blue eyes and cat-like pupils. BLU Sniper was taken aback.
"Holy dooley, what are you?"
"In due time…in due time," the figure said in a dark manner and dissipated into thin air.
BLU Sniper did not see the RED Spy behind him and was stabbed in the back. It killed him instantly and Spy adjusted his tie in an elegant fashion before scowling at the dead body of the BLU Sniper.
"That was not part of the match. Whatever it was, I think it means trouble. The rest would want to hear about this," Spy said to himself and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
***/
Sniper cursed his bad luck and stupidity.
He just had to poke his nose in other places and now look what it did to him. The Australian could have gotten away but no, because of his nosiness, he's now confined in a dungeon. Sniper surveyed his surroundings quietly. The dungeon cell he was kept in was rather clean and had other facilities such as a hay bed and a basin. The only thing it lacked was a proper toilet bowl. Unlike modern prisons though, the dungeon chambers and halls were lit up with torches.
Two pegasus guards were stationed outside of his cell and one of them had a bunch of keys strapped to the side of his armor. It seemed close enough for Sniper to grab. He crept towards the cell door slowly and slipped his hand in between the bars. Sniper thought he could make it until one of the guards saw his hand and opened his wing. Sniper was taken by surprise and he quickly reeled his hand back.
"You're a sly one, human, but not sly enough. No criminal scum is getting out of here on my watch," the guard said gruffly.
"I'll stab you if I had a knife," Sniper muttered angrily. "What'd I ever do to you?" he asked loudly.
"For assaulting a guard and threatening Princess Celestia, you should've been sent to the gallows. Fortunately for you, the princess was kind enough to lessen your sentence and decided to imprison you instead," one of the guards replied.
"Oh, so that was your princess? What're you, a Middle Age pony?" Sniper mocked.
The guards ignored him and all Sniper could say was "Ah, piss". He did try annoying the gaurds so that they would come in and he would tackle the two and escape. However, they were a stoic lot and despite Sniper's best insults and taunts, the two remained unmoved. Sniper did try throwing hay at them but again, they stood quietly.
"When Princess Celestia said that monkeys and humans were genetically related, I don't find it hard to believe at all now that we've seen the evidence," the guard on the right muttered to his companion.
"I think they're monkeys except bigger in size and with a little bit more intelligence," the guard on the left said.
"And they don't have a tail," the other guard added.
Sniper gave up on trying to make them come in. They just would not move at all and while his taunting would have worked on BLU team, it sure as hell did not work on the ponies. An hour later, while Sniper was laying down on the hay bed, another guard, this time a unicorn, approached the two guards and spoke to them. They were speaking rather softly so Sniper could not hear what they were saying. Then, to his surprise, the guards opened the cell door and the unicorn guard came in.
"Princess Celestia requests your audience at the castle chambers. No funny business or I'll have you turned into a frog. Also, when speaking to the princess, you will address her as "Your Highness" or "Ma'am"," said the unicorn guard in a formal manner.
"Listen, wanka, I'm not your prisoner, and I DEFINITELY am not for you to order around. I'd say it's enough that I'm unarmed," Sniper shot back.
"That'll be your choice, human. Get moving now."
Sniper was glad to get out of the dungeons and into the open. Luckily for him, the castle was just a short distance away. It would have been nice to look at the surroundings but under such circumstances, Sniper could only give quick glances. The castle sat at the edge of a cliff and the designs reminded Sniper of castles in fairy tales. How ponies built the castle without hands was beyond him but then again, he noticed unicorns were able to manipulate objects without actually touching them and they could do so with dexterity that only human hands could achieve. It was fascinating.
The guards were kind enough not to shackle him and make him drag an iron ball attached to leg cuffs but being led to see the princess with the guards walking behind him made Sniper feel uncomfortable. Upon reaching the entrance of the castle, Sniper was led by two unicorn guards into the castle. Looking up at the ceilings and at the stained glass windows, the castle interior exuded a feel of grandeur and light color schemes were pleasing to the eyes.
"Not bad for a bunch of show ponies," Sniper thought.
At the end of the long hall were two heavy double doors and when they were opened, Sniper saw the princess alicorn sitting on top of her throne at the end of the throne chamber and she wore a weak smile on her face. With a wave of her hoof, the guards in the chamber bowed and left the area, leaving Sniper and the princess alone. The doors behind Sniper slammed shut as the last guard exited.
"Tell me, human, do you know anything about the Nightmare cult?" Princess Celestia asked softly.
"Oh, straight to the point are we?" Sniper asked back and crossed his arms indignantly. "Listen here, "Your Highness", I've got nothing to do with this cult of yours and I'm definitely not an enemy if that's what you're thinking."
The princess did not seem convinced. "If that is the case, perhaps you could tell me who you are, where your homeland is and how you came to Equestria. I, for one, would like to know because you don't look anything like the other humans I've met many centuries ago."
"And how's that suppose to answer your first question?"
"Believe me, human, every little detail counts."
Sniper nodded his head slowly. The princess was calm and all but Sniper still did not like her. Then again, he would not want to mess with a pony who was obviously rather powerful and if what she claimed about having lived that long was true, she has to be a deity or some sort.
"Here's a story for you," Sniper said darkly.
End Note: I plan to make this a long one so I'll reveal details little by little. Also, I'm planning on another fic which I plan to submit to Equestria Daily. It's a humor fic called "Painis and the Pink", featuring Painis Cupcake (by RubberFruit) and Pinkamena Diane Pie as well as other famous Gmod Monsters such as Vagineer and Christian Brutal Sniper. Got ideas for a storyline? Feel free to PM me. I love collecting ideas.