AN: So here's the second chapter, hope you guys like it. I just want to say that I've put a line break in between the paragraphs an that means that, like, time or a couple of hours have passed. There was meant to be one in the pervious chapter between Mark falling asleep and waking up (normally I hate it when it just jumps) but for some reason they didn't show. Hopefully this works! Enjoy!

I'm An Avery

Mark somehow dragged himself into work, a nervous knot settling at the bottom of his stomach as he walked through the doors of Seattle Mercy. He wasn't sure how today was going to go and working with Jackson would probably just make it worse but they had to talk. They couldn't just leave it and pretend it never happened, well he couldn't and he wouldn't let it be like that anyway. He wanted something to come of this and he knew that he'd have to break things off with Julia, but before he did any of that he wanted to speak to Jackson. He'd felt something when they kissed and Jackson had kissed him back and he had wanted it. Breaking up with Julia had been a long time coming and maybe, just maybe something else would start anew. But there was also the fact that Jackson had run away. Mark pushed that thought aside and focused on what he'd say when he saw the other doctor.

He took the long route to his locker, making sure he walked past the Resident's changing room. Jackson was there, sitting on the bench and tying his shoelaces but there was too many of the others around. Meredith and Christina was chatting away right next to him, Karev was leaning against the wall eating an apple and waiting for the day to start and Kephner was pacing the room studying notes. She glanced up, saw him standing in the doorway and waved enthusiastically. Mark jumped, raised his hand in return and fled before she called out to him. He didn't want to have to face talking to him with everyone else in the room. Deciding to wait until Jackson had found him Mark headed off to get changed and ready for the day.

A littler later on and he was standing in a patient's room, talking her through her surgery for the day and checking how she was. The patient, Laura Summers, was 28 and had been caught in a house fire and just managed to escape. Her burns were some of the most severe Mark had ever seen and he had been treating her for the past 8 months. He and Jackson had worked together on this and they had been using skin banks and so far it had been pretty successful. Slowly but surely they were getting her back. Today Mark was planning on checking her right arm and seeing how it had progressed. Jackson hadn't turned up which worried and annoyed him but mostly worried him. He could do this procedure by himself if he really wanted to that wasn't really the issue; it was the fact that Jackson hadn't said a thing and hadn't turned up at all that was bothering him.

Then there were the stupid interns that were hovering around behind him. Hunt had caught him when he'd come out of the changing room and handed three of them off on him. He'd been keeping an eye out for Jackson and the three interns were distracting him with questions. Mark's mood had darkened as he realised he was expected to cart them around all day and 'teach' them things. Their nervous questioning, shambling walking and utter stupidity was pissing him off even more but he tried to stay calm. Thankfully he'd seen Laura and that had cheered him up a little. She was a great patient, did everything he asked and took her medication whenever she needed it. She was funny and always talkative about what she had been up to since they had last seen each other and Mark enjoyed her company.

"Right, everything's looking good so far. I'm going to book an OR and we should get you in there early afternoon."

"Sounds good. Hey, where's Doctor Avery?"

"Doctor Avery is…er…just running some tests for, uhm, another patient."

"No he's not." A voice behind Mark squeaked.

All eyes turned on the middle intern, was his name Simmons or Sampson? Mark frowned and tried to remember but decided he didn't care. He shot a glare at the intern, who paled before he turned back to Laura.

"He's busy at the moment."

"Oh…right." Laura said, nodding. She bit her lip and glanced at Mark. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"What? No, we…No. Why?"

"Well, you seem different this morning. Doctor Avery isn't here and he's always been here. Also, you look like you haven't slept all night. You keep that up and you'll need plastics soon!"

Mark chuckled but it soon stopped short when he heard laughter behind him. The interns, always the interns! Another glare shut them up and he once again turned to Laura.

"No. Me and Doctor Avery have not had a fight."

"Are you sure? 'Cos when me and my boyfriend fight, sometimes it gets so bad we can barely stand to be around each other."

"I…we…uh." Mark stammered.

"Wait, he is your boyfriend right?" Laura asked, shock on her face and her eyes wide.

Mark stood frozen. Hearing a gasp behind him, he turned and saw the interns staring at him. Their eyes wide, mouths hanging open and Mark couldn't help but flush slightly. "Out! Outside now!"

The interns turned on their heels and rushed out. Mark turned back and sighed.

"Oh gosh, I am sorry! I just…I just thought, well I don't know." She laughed nervously and shifted slightly in bed. Mark, feeling his face burning, busied himself with checking Laura's bandages. "You guys always seem so friendly and I've seen you work together. Then there's the way he looks at you…"

Mark jerked his head up and stared at her as she trailed off. "What do you mean?"

"He just," she giggled and shook her head. "It's when you're not looking which is probably why you don't catch it. Mostly when you're not looking anyway. But he stares at you, his eyes go soft and he looks at you and I see that he cares for you. I'm pretty sure he's done it when he's meant to have been looking at my wounds once or twice but I've let it slide. It's a nice look. My boyfriend, John, he used to look at me that way. You know, before the fire."

Mark couldn't speak; his hands were frozen on Laura's bandages. He could feel his tongue and throat trying to work but he couldn't find the words. Laura's boyfriend had left her a couple of months after the fire, claiming he found it all too hard on him. She reached out her hand and took hold of his. Thankfully both her hands had been spared in the fire so she had full use of them and her grip was tight as she squeezed his hand.

"Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn here, but Doctor Sloan, if he isn't your boyfriend now then he should be."

He nodded and looked at her properly. They stared at each other for a moment and Mark tried to breathe, his chest feeling constricted. Finally his mind cleared and he let go of Laura's hand.

"Thank you. I've got to go and check on some other patients but I'll get back to you with the surgery time when I can okay?"

"Fine with me. I'll just catch up with my stories. See you soon Doctor."

Mark smiled at Laura and walked out the room, almost crashing into the goddamn interns. They were huddled together and trying to look innocent. Mark frowned at all three of them and gathered himself up to his full height, wanting to look as intimidating as possible.

"What did you three hear?"

"Nothing at all."

"Hear what?"

"I didn't hear anything, nothing about people looking at other people."

"Good. Keep it that way or I will make your lives a living Hell." Mark paused. "No, wait. You're interns. Your lives are already Hell. Alright, if I hear a word of anything about anything from anyone I will make sure that you three are the lowest of the interns here. Got it?"

A chorus of yes' filled his ears and he nodded before zeroing in on the intern who had spoken earlier. He dismissed the other two, telling them to book an OR for Laura and then get him some coffee. He glared at the one left standing.

"Now…Simmons!"

"It's, urhm, Tim. Tim Blackwood."

"Shut up. You know where Avery is. So, you're going to tell me." Mark demanded and waited for an answer. After a few moments the intern, keeping quiet, started shuffling from one foot to the other. "Answer me!'

'But, you, told me to shut up."

"Simmons, you're really, really starting to get on my nerves. If I don't find out where Avery is right this second so help me I will ma-"

"Third Floor!" The intern cried out. "Third Floor! I saw him with Doctor Bailey."

"Bailey?" Mark asked, biting his lip and frowning even more. His racing thoughts were interrupted by more squeaking.

"It's not, er, Simmons."

"Get out of here!" Mark cried out causing the intern to jump and scurry off. After debating for a whole three seconds on whether he should go looking for Jackson he decided that yes, yes he should. He headed to the lifts and finally found himself on the correct floor, searching each room for Jackson. As he turned a corner he spotted him and halted. He was talking to Bailey both of them reading through a patient's chart. Mark paused for a moment, another three second debate running through his head before he marched forward.

"Avery!" He called out, his voice steady and loud whilst his stomach tossed and turned. The two doctors turned to him and Mark's heart dropped a little when he saw the nervous fear in Jackson's eyes. He pushed it aside and cried out in a cheery all-is-well voice. "I wondered where my Resident had gotten to! Doctor Bailey, mind if we have a moment?"

"Sure. Avery, see you in there." Bailey nodded before heading in to a patient's room. Mark stopped in front of Jackson who looked anywhere but at Mark.

"Look, I've got a patient and I need to go in there an-"

"This'll only take a minute. Look, I just need to, "Mark broke off as group of nurses wandered past. He lowered his voice to a whisper and stepped a little close to Jackson. "We just need to talk, that's all. Why didn't you show up today?"

"I'm on Bailey's service."

"Yeah I can see that. But why?"

"I...I thought I'd give general surgery a try for a change."

"Huh," Mark responded, not believing a word he said. "Look, if it's about last night, well, you don't need to be here because of last night."

"No, just...I…"

"'Cos I thought it was great and we really need to talk about it."

"Not right now." Jackson told him, trying to step around Mark who jumped into his way.

"Come on! Hey, Avery, I'm just askin-"

"No! I said I'm on Bailey's service today and I'm going to be here for quite a few weeks." Jackson snapped before pushing past him into the patient's room.

Mark almost followed him, wanting to be stubborn and make him listen but he stopped himself. He didn't want to create a scene and already he could feel the nurses and other doctors looking over. He could also see Bailey frowning at him and glancing between him and Jackson who was now running through the patient's condition. Then there was the patient's family themselves, listening raptly to him and he knew he couldn't interrupt. Mark sighed, shook his head and headed off to the bathroom wanting to clear his head and get away from the people staring at him. As he pushed through the door he looked around and was relieved to find it empty. He headed straight to the sink and turned the tap on, watching the water flow down the drain for a couple of seconds before cupping his hands under the water and splashing his face. Letting the cool water dry, he stared at himself in the mirror.

"Shit."

As he was splashing his face again he heard the door swing open and knew his few moments of solitude had ended.

"There you are!" Derek's voice cried out from across the room.

"Hi."

"So…you okay?"

Mark turned to Derek, frowning. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I heard what happened with Avery. Did you and your boyfriend have a fight or something?" Derek asked, smirking and missing Mark's wince.

"He's not my boyfriend!" He snapped. "And how did you hear about it? News can't travel that fast in here. Can it?"

Derek laughed and leant against the sink and crossing his arms over his chest as he explained. "No, no. I mean, it probably does but I was the nurse's station and I overheard what happened. You know, you are an Attending and Avery is a Resident. Technically he's not allowed to speak to you that way."

"Oh yeah? Do you pull rank on Meredith whenever she shouts at you?"

"Well, that's different. Meredith is my wife. Avery is just…Avery."

"We kissed!" Mark cried out before he could stop himself. He didn't even know why he'd done it but if there was one person he could discuss this with it'd be Derek. They were both able to talk to one another about everything and whenever anything was bothering one of them they'd end up grabbing a couple of beers and spending a few hours figuring stuff out. Mark sighed and let his head fall down, eyes fixed on the drain again whilst the silence spun out.

"Okay…and you haven't before?" Derek finally asked. Mark looked up sharply and stared at him.

"What? Why would I have kissed him before?"

"Well…er…I….Huh." Derek stammered before giving a small laugh and shaking his head. "Well, to be honest, I thought there was something going on with you guys already. I mean, you spend a lot of time together. Then there's the way, you know, you spent Valentine's Day to-"

"He was studying!"

"-gether and okay! If that's what you say you were doing I believe you. But there is the way you look at each other every so often."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark lied, biting his lip. He had noticed that himself. Once or twice…or maybe more than that he'd found himself just watching Avery whilst he worked and more often than not Avery had looked up and caught his eye. They'd held the gaze for a few seconds before one of them would break away and busy themselves with something else. Then there was what Laura has said earlier today.

"Again, if you say so. Look, tell me what happened."

"Avery came over and I helped him study for awhile, it got late so he stayed over on the couch. I got up in the middle of the night to pee, headed for the bathroom and crashed into him. We kissed…and then…"

"Then?"

"Then he ran out the door like it was the worst thing that could have happened."

"Oh." Derek sighed.

"Yeah. I mean, he kissed back at first but then he just pulled away and ran out the door. What does that mean? Has Meredith, did Meredith ever do anything like that at the start?"

"Meredith is different and we've had our moments but nothing like that I don't think."

"What do I do?" Mark asked, looking at Derek, desperately needing help and advice. Derek was silent for a moment and Mark could see him thinking.

"Well, all you can do is talk to him about it. It's either that or forget it ever happened and I'm getting the feeling you don't want to do that. So, talk to him."

"I've tried talking to him. It didn't work out well."

"Ambushing him in the hospital corridor, right before he's about to go and speak to a patient, in front of the gossipy staff is not the best way to go about talking to him about this. Besides, do you even know what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, do you know what you want?"

"I…"

"Do you want a relationship with him?"

"Well…I…you can't just ask…he..."

"Mark, do you want a relationship with him?"

"Yes." Mark whispered. He and Derek stared at each other for a moment before Derek smiled and nodded.

"Then tell him. Tell him what you want, speak to him. You can do it."

Silence filled the bathroom and for a few moments they didn't speak. Mark leaned down and splashed his face again. He looked back at Derek and smiled.

"I can do this."

"You can do this." Derek told him, laughing a little. "Although when you became so bad at getting the people you wanted, I don't know."

They both laughed and Mark felt so relief, having talked about it and gotten it off his chest had been a good thing and he felt lighter. Plus it was nice to talk to Derek again, both of them having been too busy to do no more than a quick hello as they passed in the corridor.

"I don't know. I think maybe, it's Sofia. I see her, how young and fragile she is and I think of myself that way." Mark chuckled and shook his head, "minus the young part of course. I've found myself taking fewer risks and just settling and this thing with Jackson. It's new and different. I mean, I've been with guys before, you know that but it was never a relationship and…Derek…I don't think I've felt this way about somebody before."

"Then tell him. There's something there between you two. I know it; half the hospital knows it and the other half suspects it. The only people who don't know Mark and Jackson like each other are Mark and Jackson!"

At that moment the bathroom door swung open and Karev walked in. He nodded at the two of them and headed over to the urinal. Realising that the bathroom was no longer private Derek patted Mark on the shoulder.

"I've got to go, big surgery this evening so I'm practicing. This whole situation will work itself out, just take my advice." Derek gave him an encouraging smile before turning and heading toward the door. "Good luck!"

Mark sighed and splashed his face one last time. As he wiped the droplets of water from his face he noticed Karev standing next to him. He glanced at the doctor, giving a quick smile.

"What do you need advice for? Karev asked, smirking his ignorant smile.

"None of your business." Mark told him, heading over to the dryer and starting it up. He heard Karev mutter something but ignored it. His head was starting to ache, his thoughts of Jackson tumbling around. As he pushed through the door he vowed to try again with speaking to Jackson.

The day went slowly, his interns driving him up the wall just by breathing too loudly. Mark had paged Jackson three or four times, asking him to come find him when he was free. He managed to eat half his sandwich and read half an article during lunch, no reply. Laura's surgery went quick and easy, no reply. He helped out with a trauma patient, no reply. Finally losing his temper he gave a 5 minute rant to one of his interns when she had made a comment about something mundane. By the time he was done Mark was pretty sure the poor woman was in tears, she'd run off before he'd seen but there had been some sniffling. He couldn't stand interns, hated their fresh-from-medical-school-and-ready-to-save-the-world attitude but he'd never made one cry before and he was tempted to chase after her and tell her that he wasn't actually a bad person but that right now, right this second he'd kill someone if it meant Jackson would give him 5 minutes.

Ignoring the nervous and hazardous looks he got he walked off, wandering the hospital and trying to clear his head. Soon enough he found himself heading towards the Resident's changing room, determined to talk to Jackson or wait for him to get back. He reached the room and opened the door, scanning the room for the man he was looking for. Instead he found Kephner, scribbling away in her notebook. She looked up and smiled a sickeningly sweet smile when she saw him.

"Doctor Sloan! What can I do for you?"

"Urhm, is Jac-Avery here?"

"Oh he's gone."

"What? What do you mean?" Mark asked, wildly thinking Jackson had quit, moved out and left the city never to be seen or heard from again.

"Home. He's gone home for the day. He had no more patients and the one surgical guy is stable."

"Oh. Right, yeah. Home." He shook his head and mentally slapped himself for thinking such crazy thoughts. "Er, will he be back at all tonight?"

"I don't think so. Like I said, his surgical patient is stable. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Thanks." Mark answered before turning and plodding out the door. So he'd missed Jackson, which was great, just fucking perfect. He briefly considered going to Derek and Meredith's house and demanding to be let in and then banging on Jackson's door until he let him in and then they could talk. He broke that thought off, knowing he was being too dramatic. He'd just have to try again tomorrow; surely Jackson would give him ten minutes or so and let him say what he needed to say. Sighing he headed to the Attending's changing room, just wanting to get home and get this day over with.

Okay, Mark thought to himself, you've been hanging around this corridor for a half hour hoping Jackson will come along and use the lift. Maybe it's time we left. He nodded in agreement, scribbling his signature over a couple of patient's charts.

"But maybe just a couple more minutes." He muttered to himself, not noticing the looks he got from the nurses at their station. Mark wouldn't have cared anyway. It'd been three whole days since their kiss and Jackson had ignored him every single day, hour, minute and it was driving Mark crazy. He'd tried to speak to him but Jackson had either rushed off or flat out ignored him. More than once he'd been tempted to pull rank and force Jackson to listen to him but he knew that that wouldn't go down so well and maybe even make things worse between them. He sighed and wondered how much worse it could actually get. Mark knew that waiting outside a lift in the hopes that Jackson would wander by and use it was desperate but he also knew that he was working on this floor today. Interns made quite the handy spies and informants.

"Doctor Sloan, are you alright?" A quiet voice inquired from nowhere. He jumped and looked about before he saw a nurse standing before him on the other side of the desk.

'What?"

"I, er, asked if you were alright." She asked, blushing and looking down. He ignored this, having been here long enough to be used to the young nurses being attracted to him. His mind was racing but not with what to say, with her name. Was it Lisa? Or Jade? Wait, Jade was the pretty red head on third. So was this Tracy? "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"Well, it's just…cos you've been here for over half an hour and you keep looking at the lifts and just then…well you sorta blanked out." She smiled shyly at him and he sighed inwardly.

"I'm okay. Thanks for the conce-" Mark's sentence came to an abrupt halt as Jackson passed by him and headed for the lifts. He watched as he pressed the button and nodded at somebody he knew as they passed.

"Doctor?" That quiet voice came again, breaking his concentration.

"Shush!"

He watched some more and finally the lift doors opened. Jackson stepped aside and let two doctors pass before he entered the lift himself. Mark's heart was in his throat and deciding to just go for it he dashed forwards, dodging past anyone who was in his way and almost sprinting for the lift.

Mark rushed forwards and slipped through the doors just before they closed, the back of his coat almost getting caught in between them. Jackson's eyes widened as Mark nearly fell into him. He stepped back and then after realising he was trapped he stared downwards at the pile of charts in his hands, busying himself by pretending to read through the pages. Mark glanced at the buttons and saw Jackson was going to the top floor, that'd give him 30 seconds maximum and so he started talking.

"Look, I know you can hear me so I'm just gunna talk and I'll stop when the lift stops. I hate this; I hate the two of us not working together. We're a team, a fucking fantastic team that works ridiculously well together and now you're working with Bailey? When we're in the OR I don't even need to look at you for you to know what I need from you. You know my techniques, my style and how I like things done. Doesn't that show you there's something more?"

Mark waited a few moments, just watching as Jackson stared at the papers in his hand.

"But you know what I hate the most. I hate the fact that you won't even look at me. You've stopped talking to me, you've stopped working with me and now you can't even look at me. I miss you…and I miss you looking at me." He sighed as Jackson continued to ignore him, running his hands through his hair and getting more frustrated by the second. Mark glanced at the lift buttons and saw they were almost to the top. Suddenly he couldn't stand it anymore; he reached forwards and pressed the emergency stop button, causing the lift to jam to a halt. Jackson looked up startled and as he did Mark stepped right up to the other man, right into his personal space, so close he could feel Jackson's breath on his face. He could smell him too, that familiar warm scent that was all Jackson. The aftershave he used, the faint smell of his sweat, he inhaled it all in and felt his chest swell.

"We kissed! We kissed and that was all. You're acting as if we slept together and I never called the next morning. We kissed and I damn well enjoyed it and I know you did too!" Mark cried out. He fell silent, letting that last sentence reverberate and then out of nowhere Jackson's lips were on his. He didn't even see the other man move, just felt those soft lips pressing to his, a sweet and tender kiss that sent a rush of warmth through his whole being. He could feel Jackson clinging to him with desperate need, his hands bunched in Mark's shirt, charts long forgotten on the floor. Then those lips were pulled away, not far, but just enough so they weren't touching Mark's and he felt a loss at that.

"I'm an Avery." Jackson whispered to him, his lips just barely brushing Mark's.

"What?" He whispered back.

"I'm an Avery."

"I don't underst-"

"I'm an Avery." Jackson repeated, louder this time and stepping back. His gaze was direct and staring straight at Mark. "My grandfather is the Harper Avery and my mother is the Katherine Avery. I have to be…I have to be the best and I'm trying. I really am. You want to know why I'm fucking up so much with my studying? You. It's always been you. You're around me and I can't concentrate. In the OR it's fine because there's a person there, somebody who is relying on us to be professional, to be unique, to be damn good surgeons and make sure we do everything we can to save them. But when I'm alone with you, I can't concentrate. You look at me and I melt. You speak to me and I listen to every single word. You…you drive me crazy by being nothing but yourself and right now, I can't take that. These boards, they'll make or break me and they're the most important thing so I can't take it."

They both stood there, breathless and quiet. Jackson bent down and started gathering up the charts from the floor. Mark couldn't speak, he'd thought…well fuck he didn't know what he'd thought. He had hoped there had been something between them and that kiss. That beautiful kiss had only strengthened that idea and now here was Jackson telling him that he drove him crazy. He opened his mouth but couldn't think of anything to say, he could only watch as Jackson brushed past him and pressed the alarm button again causing the lift to continue it's ascent. He turned and stared at Jackson's back, wanting to speak, shout or scream. Anything to get the other man to listen and hear that he felt the same. The lift reached the floor and the doors opened. He watched as Jackson paused for a moment and he felt his throat working.

"Jackson…I feel th-"

"No. Please." Jackson whispered back, his voice low and almost broken. "I can't."

With that he walked out the lift, leaving Mark to just stand there dumbly. He considered running after him but that final whisper stopped him. Jackson didn't want him, not right now and maybe not ever. As the doors shut he leaned against the back wall and ran a hand over his face. He felt the lift start to descend, taking him to some unknown floor, his thoughts tossing and turning along with his stomach. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to feel just knowing that he'd never felt so unwanted in all his life.