AN: I'd just like to say that with this chapter, again, I'm not sure how right the medical parts are so forgive me if you notice any mistakes with that part. Hope you guys like this chapter and the fourth and final one will be up soon!

Fragile Pieces

Mark gulped down the rest of the beer in his bottle, finishing the last quarter in one big swallow. He slammed the bottle down and shouted to Joe for another. Derek, who was sitting beside him, raised his own empty glass to Joe signaling that he'd also take another. Mark was on his fifth bottle and was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, his head spun a little and he was talking a little too loudly. Knowing that he didn't want to get drunk, didn't want to be the drunken mess crying over his crappy situation, he promised himself this bottle would be his last. Joe brought their drinks over, Derek paying this time, before he headed off to some other customers. They'd met up after work; both actually having some free time away from patients and Mark had needed a drink. So they'd come here. He'd told Derek everything that had happened, Jackson kissing him and then rejecting him and everything he'd said after that.

"So, what's your plan?"

"My plan?"

"To make Avery listen to you."

Mark laughed before drinking a little; he let the cold liquid slide refreshingly down his throat before laughing some more at the idea of making Jackson listen to him.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked him, sipping his scotch.

"There is no plan Derek! I trapped him in the elevator and he basically told me he didn't want me, said that I confuse him too much."

"Oh that's ridiculous and a stupid reason to not be with someone. You be with someone because they confuse you. You like him and he certainly likes you. I mean, he kissed you in the elevator. It wasn't the other way round, he made the first move."

"He probably did that just to shut me up."

"I want to shut you up more often than not and you don't see me kissing you!" Derek told him, chuckling. "Look, there's something between you too. He said that you effect him, you do things to him and those are good signs."

"But he sai-"

"There is no reason that he can't study and be with you at the same time."

They stared at each other for a moment before Mark gave a sigh and took another gulp of his beer.

"What about Julia?" Derek asked him, still watching Mark who shook his head.

"I need to break up with her. It isn't fair. Even if nothing happens with Jackson I'm not in that relationship. I'm not there. I just…need to find the time and the right way to do it."

"Well you should do it soon because you're right. It's not fair, it's not fair to either of you." Derek advised him before finishing off his drink. Seeing that Mark had also finished his drink he asked "You want another?"

"No, thanks. I've got Sofia tomorrow and I spent 6 hours in the OR today. I don't want to be too tired for her. She's so feisty and I swear she can play for like 10 hours so I'm going to head home."

"Alright. I think I'm gunna do the same, see Meredith and maybe give Zola a cuddle if she's awake."

The two men set down their glasses, waving to Joe as they left, and headed outside. They gave each other a quick hug goodbye before jumping into separate cabs out of the rain that had started up. Soon enough Mark was home, the cab pulling up to the door of his apartment building. He paid the cab driver and climbed out of the taxi, running for the door and avoiding getting as wet as possible. The elevator ride was quick and as Mark turned the corner at the end of the corridor he crashed into a woman. She gave a quiet scream and his own heart jumped, the both of them staggering away from each other. With a hand on his heart Mark eventually got his breath back before looking up and realising the woman was Julia.

"Mark? You scared the shit out of me!" She cried out.

"I'm sorry. I was in my own little world and didn't even hear you." He explained. "What are you doing here?"

"I, er, hey, if it isn't too late do you mind if I come in?"

"Ah, I've got an early morning tomorrow and I was sort of hoping to get in and go straight to bed." Mark replied, he felt bad for lying to Julia and truth be told that had been the plan but she was his girlfriend and he knew he shouldn't just turn her away.

"It'll only take a moment. I just…need to talk to you and don't really want to do it out here."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay, you can come in. Just let me find my keys." After spending a couple of seconds searching his pockets he found them and opened the door. Turning on the lights and leading Julia in, he turned around and noticed the bag in her hand for the first time.

"What's in the bag?"

"This…this is full of your clothes."

"What?"

"Your clothes and a couple of other random stuff. You've left them at mine over the last few months and I just thought I'd bring them back."

"Why?"

She sighed and glanced away, gathering herself before turning back to him. "I had a boyfriend once, about 8 years ago and I loved him very, very much. His name was Ryan, two years younger than me with the nicest green eyes you've ever seen. We were together for 3 and a half years and honestly, I've never loved someone the way I loved him."

"Julia, wha-"

"About 3 years into the relationship things changed, little things you know. He'd be working late or he'd be seeing friends I hadn't heard of. He stopped touching me too, not in a sexual way, just little touches that I noticed and ignored. We'd be sitting there together watching a film and I'd be screaming in my head for him to just hold my hand, begging for him to just reach out and take hold of it and stroke the back of it like he used to. I just wanted him to show me something, connect with me and every day it got worse until we barely spoke. Finally, he told me that he didn't love me anymore and that there was someone else and before I knew it I was alone and he was living with some blonde." Julia finished; her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She stood strong but she looked so vulnerable at that moment and guilt washed over Mark.

"I don't understand. Why are you telling me this?"

"I know when someone is slipping away. After Ryan, I developed this…sense. This knowing feeling that someone was slipping away from me and it is both a gift and a curse. I get to end things before it hurts too much, yet at the same time I know when things are over before the other person does. You're slipping away Mark; in fact you've slipped almost all the way. I tried to ignore it because, well we had so much fun and you're a great guy."

He couldn't speak, mouth bone dry and heart thumping in his chest. She didn't seem mad, angry or anything and it frightened him.

"I also know why you're slipping away and oddly, this time, I'm okay with it because I know what you feel is true."

"What I feel?"

"Jackson. You two, I've seen the two of you together and it's so obvious but not in an over the top way. In a lovely way that everyone dreams about. The looks you share, your mannerisms, there's just so many things. You love him."

"No, I don't.'

"You do. You love him."

"Look, you've got it wro-"

"Mark, you love him."

"I…I…" Mark stammered, not knowing where to begin. He hated this and it wasn't fair to either of them. He could feel his eyes burning, the whole room and Julia herself blurring as tears formed in his eyes. "I'm sorry that I love him."

"Hey, it's okay." Julia whispered, stepping closer to him and placing a hand on his cheek, running a thumb over the stubble. She was smiling sadly. "You love him and it's not right, for either of us, we both know that. It hasn't been right for a while. But what we did have, it was fun. You made me laugh, made me feel special for a little bit and that was nice. Now it's time to move on and you need to go for it. Don't be scared."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"You haven't hurt me. We had fun, Sofia is a beautiful child and you're an amazing guy but we've drifted apart. It happens."

Mark shook his head and placed his hand over Julia's, his own thumb stroking her skin. She leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss to his lips, a gentle goodbye kiss. Neither of them said anything as she dropped the bag she'd brought along, turned and headed out the door. Mark made to follow her but decided against it, stopping when she turned back and smiled once more at him.

"You love him."

"I love him." He responded. She nodded, opened the door and walked out of his life. Mark stood there for a few moments, breathing heavily and trying to keep his head clear. He was unsure of how to feel, break ups were never easy and there was no such thing as a 'good' break up but at the same time he felt like he had already moved on from it and that there had been nothing left to do but physically break up with Julia. Then she had come along and told him that she basically knew everything and she herself was moving on and leaving him. Then there was the fact that he'd admitted, finally admitted to himself that he loved Jackson. Saying it out loud had made it all seem real and it scared him to know that he was in love with a fellow surgeon. His emotions chasing each other around, thoughts bouncing around his head Mark groaned and headed towards his bedroom, wanting to just fall asleep and not think about anything for several hours.

Mark changed into his navy scrubs, just going through the motions like the last few days. It'd been a week since he and Jackson had kissed, four days since Julia had broken up with him and those days had passed like a daze. He'd barely seen Jackson, catching glimpses of him in the cafeteria and the OR whenever he observed a surgery where Jackson was assisting. Then there were the interns, the ones he was still carting around. Their names never stuck in his mind so he'd taken on Yang's solution and called them 1, 2 and 3.

The day went slowly, the interns showing that they actually had some medical knowledge and being able to take care of his other patients whilst he focused on Laura Summers. She was back for a follow up and so far she was looking good. They were running some tests today, keeping her over night and Mark was thinking he'd try some physiotherapy to keep her muscles strong. Deciding to go visit Derek and see how he was doing Mark got into the elevator and pressed the button for the floor he was on. Thankfully the elevator was empty and he was able to grab a few seconds of silence, leaning against the back wall and resting his hands on the handrail. Before he reached the floor however the elevator stopped, he glanced up as the doors opened and there he was. Jackson. He stepped forward but halted when he saw Mark, his eyes going wide.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Going up?" Mark questioned, glancing at the buttons before back to Jackson. His heart dropped as he stepped back and shook his head.

"I'll catch the next one." He answered, breaking eye contact with Mark and looking anywhere but at him. The doors started to close and Mark didn't want to leave it that way, awkward and strange between them.

"Jackson…" He cried out but the doors closed tightly shut before he could think of anything to say. He sighed and leaned back, running a hand over his face. Finally the elevator reached the floor and he stepped out but decided against going to see Derek. As he walked down the corridor he saw an empty patient room and took refuge inside. Mark sat down on the bed and sighed once more. The day itself was cloudy and overcast giving the room a dark and gloomy look that matched his mood. His pager beeped but he ignored it, unclipping it from his waistband and laying it on the bed next to him. It was more than likely one of the interns pestering him to wanting him to do a simple procedure.

Mark didn't want to be around anyone at the moment. His mind was spinning, thoughts going round and round his head. How had things gotten so fucked up? He'd had it pretty damn good. Sofia was just across the hall with Callie and Arizona, a great girlfriend who had made him laugh and Jackson. He'd been the best Resident in Plastics and he knew all of Mark's moves and ideas. They'd been an amazing team, The Plastics Posse as he'd taken to calling them jokingly, and both knew what the other was thinking.

He heard the faint beeping of his pager but ignored it once again.

Then everything had fallen apart. Jackson didn't even want to be around him anymore, couldn't bear to even be alone with him for a ten second elevator ride. Julia had broken up with him and even though that had been a long time coming, he still felt like he'd lost a good friend. The only thing that cheered him up was spending time with his beautiful Sofia, he could spend hours just cuddling her and muttering things to her in Spanish. He'd finally gotten the hang of the language and was using it whenever he could. Deciding to go see her right now he jumped up from the bed and started for the door. That annoying beeping rang in his ears again and stopped him. He turned back to the pager, grabbed it from the bed and looked at the screen. His heart dropped, stomach tossing as he saw the message there.

911. L . Summers. Coding.

His mind went blank for a second and then he was running, actually sprinting down the hall and then the stairs. There was no time to wait for the elevator; he needed to be there now. No, he thought to himself, I needed to be there ten minutes ago. Shit, shit, shit. He pushed past nurses and doctors, surgeons and other patients anyone who got in his way. Maybe she'd be all right by the time he got there, maybe the code team had revived her and she was okay. He hoped to God those interns hadn't been the ones who were looking after her. Finally he reached her room and heard shouting which caused his stomach to give another toss. Shouting was never good. He rushed in and it was chaos, absolute chaos. 1 and 3 were on either side of Laura's bed, 1 giving her compressions whilst 3 was holding the defibrillator paddles and shaking. 2 was just standing there, she was also shaking and muttering to herself. He couldn't hear what she was saying over the code teams shouts, which became louder as he entered the room. One nurse stepped forwards and told him everything he needed to know.

"Her heart just stopped, flat lined. We pushed one of epi but it did nothing. Started shocking her at 200, nothing. Went to 300 and still got nothing. Blackwood started compressions ten minutes ago but there's been no response. Shall we call it?"

"NO!" Mark cried out, horrified at the sight of Laura, just lying there lifeless. He rushed forwards and pushed 1 out of the way, the intern wide eyed and looking terrified. "We keep going!"

Mark started the compressions, ignoring the code teams advice and their suggestions of him stopping. She couldn't die it wasn't fair. There's no way she could die. She was too good a person, too nice even after all the shit she had been through. As he pumped her chest he felt wet drops hitting his hands and he realised he was crying. Shock caused him to pull away for a moment but then he started again, turning his head to 2 who was the closest.

"2 wipe my face." She ignored him, her own eyes staring straight at Laura. " 2! Wipe my face! NOW!" She jumped, her eyes darting towards him and she gave a nod. Eventually she reached over, grabbed some tissues and moved around to him. She ran the tissue over his face and forehead before dabbing at his eyes. Then reached down and wiped at his hand. As she moved away he doubled his efforts with the compressions and kept this up for some time, not sure how much had actually passed. He soon grew too tired and had to stop, the bitter realisation that she wasn't going to come back hitting him. She wouldn't wake up and laugh, joke with him and flirt with any doctors who came her way. There was silence and it filled the room, the only noise being the harsh monotone of the flat line. It grated in his head and seemed to mock him, taunt him with Laura's death.

"Doctor?" A nurse spoke. "You need to call it."

He stared at her for a few moments before turning to the wall clock and saw that he had been trying to bring her back for 20 minutes. His mouth went dry, throat clicking as he tried to swallow; his eyes went around the room. All of them were shocked and saddened, he could see the hollow look in their eyes. He tried to speak but only grunted, trying to focus he looked back at the clock and took a deep breath.

"Ti-" He tried again, taking another deep breath he cleared his mind. "Time of death 19:27."

Silence once again came upon the room as one of the nurses reached over and flipped a switch, silencing the horrible flat line. The room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in as it hit him again. His chest closed over, his mouth still dry. He couldn't breathe, couldn't get the oxygen into his lungs with all these people in the room. He spun and rushed from the room, ignoring the shouts of his name, running blindly through the corridors and finding an empty corridor. He stopped and bent over, one hand on his knee the other on his chest. He could breathe again and did so heavily, finally gathering the strength to stand up. Jackson, he needed Jackson right now but he had no idea where he was and he couldn't handle searching the entire hospital for him. Mark glanced around and saw an on-call room and decided to take refuge in it, pushing through the door and seeing the empty beds. He stumbled over and sat down on the lower bunk before grabbing his pager. Knowing that Jackson would probably ignore his page if he sent him something mundane he decided to send a 911, safe in the knowledge that that would be the only way he'd get the other man to him.

After sending the message he waited, listening to the rain patter against the window. He dreaded giving this news, just talking about it and telling another person made it all too real and the fact that it was Jackson, this man that probably didn't even want to be in the same room as him, only made it harder. They'd worked on Laura together, slowly but surely healing her and trying their hardest to get her back together and now she was dead. Ten minutes later he heard footsteps approaching the door and took a deep breath. It swung open and Jackson walked through, his eyes scanning the room before he found Mark sitting on the bed. Mark sighed inwardly as he saw the disappointment in Jackson's eyes but he ignored it for the moment.

"Hey."

"Look, I'm really busy. You can't just page me a 911 if it isn't an emergency." Jackson snapped before turning away from him and starting to head out the door.

"Stop!" Mark cried out, standing up and moving forwards to the middle of the room. "Just stop. Stop running away from me. I can't take that right now. You can ignore me, ignore my pages all you want; reject me every single day but not now. Please. Not today."

Jackson turned back at the sound of Mark's voice, broken and low. Mark could see worry in those blue depths and even through all the pain and guilt he was feeling relief flickered and brightened. "What's happened?"

"She's dead."

"What? Who?"

"Oh God, she's dead Jackson." Mark told him, his eyes glistening with his tears but for the moment they remained unshed. "Laura Summers. Flatlined. She's dead."

"I..I.." Jackson stuttered before gasping as Mark fell to his knees, just dropped right down as if he'd been shot and he was there quicker than a flash. He felt his own eyes sting with his tears, his heart wrenching as Mark's own tears slipped down his cheeks.

Mark tried to breathe but couldn't quite get it, his chest hitching and his stomach tossing. He could feel his tears falling from his jaw onto his scrubs and wetting them but he ignored it for now. He felt light headed, the whole room spinning and the only thing keeping him tethered to the Earth right now was Jackson's strong grip on his shoulders and then those arms were enveloping him. His own hands lay limp in his lap for a moment before they came up and wrapped around that slender waist. He held on tightly, his tears tapering off and he was thankful they'd only lasted for a few moments. A patient's death had never effected him this way, sure he got upset and sometimes a little depressed when he lost someone but mostly he pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on his friends and family. But this was Laura. Laura and she was dead and there hadn't been a single thing he could have done to save her.

"It's okay, it's alright." Jackson whispered to him and Mark raised his head, having nestled it against his chest, and looked upon him. Their faces separated by a couple of inches. He could see the wet streaks on his skin from his own tears. Their eyes locked and once again Jackson told him it'd be okay and they stayed like that for a few minutes, staring at each other with Jackson muttering every so often and then they were kissing. It was fierce, hot and passionate and such a total contrast of the last couple of minutes that once again Mark's head spun but he went with it. The standing up, shuffling over towards the bed and stripping of scrub t-shirts were a blur to Mark and before he knew it he was lying down, the scratchy and cheap covers rough on his bare skin, whilst Jackson laid on top of him. Their lips and bodies grinded against the other, gasps and moans escaping from their lips. Hands slipped over muscle and caressed, groped, touched with an urgency neither had felt in a long time. Then the inevitable happened and Jackson pulled away. For a moment Mark couldn't believe it was happening for a third time and sat upwards trying to follow the other man and kiss him some more.

"Please." He whispered, closing his eyes and not wanting to believe that he was being rejected. Again.

"I…God, Mark. I'm so sorry."

"No…no, please." Mark pleaded, opening his eyes now and staring right at Jackson. His lip quivered but he refused to cry right this minute. He just wanted to reach out and hold Jackson down, never let him go, never let him run off but he restrained his own hands, fisting them into the sheets, clenching them so tightly it hurt.

"I never meant…we can't. I can't." Jackson told him, scrambling away and grabbing his t-shirt. He ran for the door and Mark decided to try one last time.

"You run out that door and I swear, nothing like this will ever happen again. You leave, you run away from me again and nothing will ever happen between us." His voice stern, body shaking but relief washed over him as Jackson turned back.

"Mark…I…I'm sorry." Jackson answered before turning back and rushing out the door.

Mark sat there nonplussed, his mind blank and he wasn't sure how long before he finally climbed off of the bed and put his own t-shirt back on. Rage washed over him then, everything that had been building up over the last week, Hell over the last couple of months all came crashing down on him and he cried out. He kicked at a pillow that had fallen to the floor before turning to the corner desk and sweeping everything to the floor. The loud crashes filled his ears and he rejoiced in the chaos, kicking at the office chair and knocking it over before turning and grabbing some cheap wall art that hung there. He held the ugly painting in either hand and brought it down, bringing his knee up at the same time and breaking it almost in half. Not satisfied he tore at it, trying to rip the wooden frame apart. When the wood held, only bringing his frustration to the maximum point he launched it at the wall, screaming. He turned and saw a tray of pencils and other stationary equipment sitting on a small bedside cabinet. That soon became airborne, crashing into the wall and scattering all around the room as he kicked at the cabinet, his toes throbbing but ignoring it all the same. Soon enough he slumped to the floor, leaning against the bed for support. He let his head fall down, chin resting on his chest whilst his hands fisted in his hair and he cried. He cried for Laura, for the break up with Julia, for Sofia and all the worries he had about her, for the fragility of everything around him. But most of all he cried because the man he loved had led him on before rejecting him not once, not twice but three times. With each kiss Mark had felt hope rising, hope for him and Jackson and for what they could be but tonight had shattered that hope. There was none when Jackson kept running away. There was no point and in that moment he decided that he wouldn't try anymore. He was giving up, he was giving up and he was okay with it.