Bella POV
I had made my decision. I would stay strong. I would go with my mother to Florida. I just couldn't let Edward torture me anymore. We had been best friends since almost as long as I could remember; Tanya had changed him. We had always been closer than close; Tanya changed us.
He never would've dreamed of calling me pathetic; then Tanya came along and changed everything!
I never would've imagined he would've kissed me then make out with another girl, even if she was his girlfriend. It was so out of character, he always treated me as a lady, he was a gentleman, he was sweet, amazing, incredibly understanding and almost eternally patient. Then Tanya fucking changed him. It was only in the last month he had changed, the last two weeks were more noticeable.
He started talking to me less, avoiding me, then flat out ignoring me, blanking me, cutting me out. Then I try to talk to him and he's an ass, then that night he climbs through my window and apologised profusely.
I dialled my phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, are you still at the airport?" I asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Too late to come with you?" I replied shakily.
"No, of course not sweetie, meet me at Starbucks in 15 minutes?" my mom suggested.
"Sure. I'll be there soon." I said, voice cracking.
I banged into the house. "Hey Bella." My dad said, then caught a glance at my face.
"What's wrong?" he demanded.
"Nothing. I'm going to live with mom." I said frostily, trying to drive back the tears.
"WHAT?" he roared. "Bella you can't just drop a bomb like that, at least give me a reason!" he said desperately.
"I'm sorry dad, but I just can't stay here anymore. I'll visit every holiday, but I have to get out of here. I'm so, so sorry daddy." I said as I packed my most valued things into a backpack and a duffel bag. I shoved in some clothes, my laptop and my iPod. I threw my phone into the rucksack too.
"Can you send my truck when I get my new address?" I requested clearing my throat.
He nodded. I opened the door and went outside. "Please Bella. Just stay, we can hang out more if you want. Spend more time together, I'll do anything, buy you whatever, please just stay." He begged. I shook my head and kept going.
"Sorry dad, but I have to go." I said in a determined voice.
"Please, Bells." He said in a heart-breaking voice. My step faltered, my resolve wavered and I closed my eyes, unable to let myself see his face.
I took a deep breath, shook my head slightly for me only, and continued to my car. I put my bags in. I started it. I opened my eyes and backed out of the driveway.
I drove off tears in my eyes, fighting to see through the early night. Forks got dark even earlier than most places, especially during late Autumn, nearly Winter.
I kept hearing his voice echoing in my head, telling me, begging me to stop, to wait, to return. But I couldn't. I ignored it then and I have to ignore it now.
He broke my heart. I found myself driving in the wrong direction. I wrote a swift letter in my messy scrawl and hopped out my car, it was smudged slightly with my tears, but otherwise legible. I put the letter on the Cullens porch and rang the bell, then ran away, and hid in the trees.
I saw Edward come outside in his dressing gown looking dishevelled and slightly distraught, he looked around in confusion before seeing the letter on the doorstep. He touched the paper gently, picking it up and reading over it swiftly, his intelligent green eyes went from wary to horrified and watery.
"Bella." He whispered with pain in his voice. I saw his body start to shake with what looked like sobs from the tears slipping from his eyes slowly and discreetly. He yelled Alice's name and she ran out in a panic. She grabbed the letter from him reading it in seconds and started sobbing into Edwards shoulder.
Dear Cullens and Hales,
I wrote this not for attention, nor to manipulate anyone's emotions, not that I think you'd believe me capable of such things, but I thought I should mention it. I wrote this letter because I believe you deserve a goodbye, please pass on this letter to Jasper and Rosalie so they can also read it.
I'm moving with my mother, I am not exactly sure where we are going, but I plan on staying there indefinitely. I will miss you all greatly, the pain this causes me is nearly unbearable, but I have to do this, I have no choice. Please forgive me for not saying goodbye in person, but I couldn't face it, I'm too much of a coward. I just can't do it anymore. Only one of you will know what I mean, but I can't take this anymore, it hurts to much, and I was afraid by seeing you, somehow I might be persuaded to stay, as I dearly want to, however I'm not masochistic enough to not attempt every method I can to stay away to heal myself.
I will miss you all, I love you unconditionally, and you have been like family to me, I know you as well as I know myself, and I wish you all I lifetime of happiness, I doubt I will be in touch anytime soon, but I am leaving straight away, in fact when I left your house earlier today, I talked to my mother and booked a flight straight away, I will be gone or at the airport no doubt by the time you read this.
I know it is far too much to ask for you to not hold my decision against me, but I can only hope one day you won't hate me for being so rude and cutting myself off without any warning. I'm deeply sorry for any problems or inconveniences I may have caused by my actions, and I realise the selfishness of my choices, but from my perspective, this is all I can do if I wish to survive, metaphorically.
Please remember I love you all, so, so much, but I really feel as if I have to leave now, I have no alternative, this is for someone else's good as well as my own, again, you know who you are. It is no one's fault but my own that I am forced to leave, my emotions are against me and I have no way of fighting them any longer, they have worn me down. I apologise for not being stronger. I would hate myself if I knew I had caused conflict in your amazing family, so please, even if it is just my wish that keeps you so close, don't fight or point fingers.
Have a long, happy life, and please, don't hesitate to ask Charlie for anything, he will need some support to get through this, and I fear my visits, however frequent, will not be enough, though I must request you do not try to contact or find me.
I will miss you more than you can imagine, and although I will not be happy away from you, I have to say, I think it will help in some ways. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that I will be happy and will stay as safe as I can, and I wish you the very best.
I swear I will never forget you, you mean so much to me, and you always will. I can only hope you feel the same way about me, but it is too selfish to really wish for it without guilt, as it will only cause you more pain if you truly felt the same way, I guess we all have that selfish side. I love you more than you can ever know, so I will have to say this, please try to forget me, because it's too much to leave and ask for your love still. I will always love you, and I will forever regret this decision, though it's necessary, it sucks. Don't ever believe I want to do this, I need to, I just want to clear up any confusion about that.
Love Bella xxx
Ps. I have your contact details if I ever change my mind, please give them to Charlie if you move away, I may someday be free to return, after learning to control and shut down my emotions better, so although I don't expect you to wait around forever, I hope you will be open to my suggestion. If you aren't comfortable with that, please don't, you have every say in that matter. It's unfortunate that you cannot have an opportunity to sway me from this, but I feel as if this has to happen. I wish you all the luck in the world.
That was the letter I had sent. I could only selfishly wish they would oblige.
I stifled a sob as I saw them all read it and their reactions. Edward looked as if there was something building up inside him. He re-read the letter once more and then lost it, he started screaming and crying like he did when we were younger, when he chased the car down the road, we were 9 years old and my mom was taking me on a holiday without dad after a massive fight, and we were scared I wouldn't come back.
Edward shoved past his family and started running down the road and screaming in desperation. For the first time since he had started dating Tanya, I saw the real Edward, my Edward, my best friend, my secret love, the one who loved me, even if only as a friend.
He was bellowing my name and tears pouring down his sweet, innocent face. That was nearly enough to make me fall to my knees and beg forgiveness, but instead I tiptoed to the next street, out of earshot and eyesight, got in my truck and drove away, glancing back at the Cullens only once. It was heart breaking, their expressions, their sobs, their emotions, enough to tear me up inside. I pulled into the airport parking lot with moments to spare and I let my head fall against the wheel of my car in despair and sobs. I let it all out, and after 30 seconds reigned it back in, put on a brave face, and got my bags and everything I needed.
I walked into the airport and got through security in a flash, only having to swiftly flash my passport at the next barrier after giving the details of my flight to the necessary people that mom texted me.
I gave my mom a hug when I arrived at Starbucks only 2 minutes late and she was excited and hyper about going to Florida, Jacksonville apparently. She had connections with a guy named Phil, according to her, they were just friends, cue her blush and tell-tale giggle, and had been friends for a few months. I knew this meant she had been cheating on dad with him, I already disliked him however, I just nodded solemnly.
"Bella what's up with you? You're acting weird." My mom said quickly.
"Nothing. I'm just excited I guess." I muttered.
"Oh! Yeah, me too!" she started then went on another long boring speech which I drowned out uninterestedly.
"Ticket please?" someone asked me with a monotone. I started getting it out as I had been in a trance and people behind me muttered and fidgeted in irritation. I glared behind me and they stilled and quieted slightly.
"BELLA! STOP!" I heard someone shriek. I stepped out of line and turned to see the person running up to me, away from security.
It was Edward. He was nearly here.
"Bella please, don't do this, you're my best friend. I love you, we all do, you can't leave us, you're my best friend, I can't just let you disappear! You mean too much to me as my only true friend who I can always count on! Please Bella, Bells, I have known you for years, I can't let you leave. Please." He begged as he reached me by his last word, falling to his knees, grabbing my hand desperately.
He had been crying, his eyes were red and bloodshot, his sleeves wet, his face desolate, abandoned, desperate, alone.
"You love me because I'm your best friend, you love me as a friend?" I asked, he nodded. "You love Tanya?" I checked.
"I think I do, yeah." He nodded hesitantly, but not very honestly. I saw Tanya's sister Irina in earshot and I knew he couldn't say no without getting into a fight with Tanya later, but he should be smart enough to know the truth about how I felt, brave enough to say the truth whatever happened. Ready to give her up for the person who really loved him.
"Here." I said to the attendant, handing over my passport and ticket. "Goodbye Edward, I'll never stop loving you." I whispered to him before pulling away from his grasp and boarded the plane, Edward's face looked so broken, so empty and deadened, agonised, that I couldn't bear to look anymore. It killed me that I was the one who put that look on his face. But I was already hurting too much from his unintentional hurtful words and actions that I couldn't be more emotionally damaged.
I leaned my head against the window seat of the plane and watched Edward walk to Esme with security escorting him. He murmured something to Esme and she wrapped him in a hug and they were both crying.
I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping against hope I would feel better once I was safely away from the Cullens and more specifically Edward, my personal unintentional tormentor. Sleep evaded me and I went into a dreamlike state where I was out of it, awake, but not seeing everything around me, in a daydream.
Oh boy, what have I done? I know I need to escape, but I don't think my mother is the most understanding person for that, but I have to stick out my decision, after all it is the right thing to do, for everyone, in the long run, right? I mean I didn't want to mess up his relationship or our friendship, so I have done the right thing, haven't I?