Disclaimer: 2,999,999,999,987 dollars and ten years away from owning Meg. I'M GETTING THERE!

AngelicRose8- My first reviewer. Ever! THANK YOU!

Warning: This story contains an army of phangirls, me, my friend, and a Teen Living teacher. Be afraid.

And now for this chapter's question!

Is it more then just Erik's songs that seduce Christine?

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The Phantom studied his candles with unblinking concentration. Going from one to another, he made sure each flame was a pale orange.

"Taller Giry!" cried Erik suddenly, turning to the elder woman that was standing in front of the Christine manikin, staring at it with distaste.

"For the thousandth Erik," Mme. Giry grumbled, not turning away from the disturbing doll, "It is Madame Giry."

The man did not respond to her, but suddenly forgot what question he was going to ask. Instead, he improvised. Why? Because if you bug Mme. Giry without a reason, you may get beaten with a certain ivory cane.

"Why are you staring at my Christine duplicate?"

Madame Giry finally turned away, balancing on her cane in a way that could be menacing…if she was not balancing on a cane. "I am wondering how you have Mademoiselle Daae's exact clothing size."

Erik thought back to his precious one-way mirrors, which he had in both the girls' ballet changing room, and Christine's.

"Lucky guess," he lied with a casual shrug. Then he remembered the question. "Taller Giry! Wade into the water and check if my underwater candles have a pale orange flame!"

"Madame Giry, and I will not wade into the wa- wait, how can you have underwater candles?" the ballet instructor asked suspiciously.

Erik gave off his trademark 'If-you-ask-that-again,-I'll-punjab-you' smile. "I am the Phantom. Therefore you do not question what I can and cannot do."

Mme. Giry just glared. "You know I highly disapprove of you drugging your candle smoke merely for the selfish purpose of raping little girls."

That seemed to set off alarms in Erik's brain. "I DO NOT RAPE LITTLE GIRLS!" he screamed, advancing on her threateningly. Mme. Giry was not fazed.

"Monsieur Destler, I ask that you do not attempt to threaten me. I am just as skilled with that lasso as you are," she reminded, brushing past him.

After a moment's spasm attack (which led to six broken hand-held mirrors, a shortened version of Stranger Then You Dreamt It, and three shredded Raoul pictures), the Phantom calmed.

"Here, I shall test my drugged candles. Call in the phangirls, for they shall be my victims!" More evil laughter.

Mme. Giry rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe I am allowing you to harm innocent girls for your sick humor."

"Shush Taller Giry. You cannot comment, and then after I win our little bet, you will not be able to stop me. Now, how many phangirls do we have in our possession?"

Mme. Giry had a light flashback to her 'counting' the phangirls for Erik…

Madame Giry sighed, checking her clipboard again. "Now, which of you is…Mrs. Destler?" She tried to not gag.

Instantly, 5,998 hypnotic crystal-clear Mary-Sue eyes stared at her. 5,998 hands rose.

"GIVE US OUR ERIK!" they chanted. Mme. Giry cracked the whip she held.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE PERFECTION BRATS! I CAN BE A VERY SCARY NATZI IF YOU BUG ME!"

Her reply was more chanting, but she almost heard two people clapping…

Mme. Giry twitched visibly. "6,000."

"And how many, might I ask, are Mary-Sues?"

"…5,998."

Erik did not look pleased that he was facing down that many 'perfect characters.' "Oh well," he muttered, pulling on a close-by lever. Instantly, the portcullis went up and 6,000 girls trailed in.

They disturbed Mme. Giry and Erik. They were all teenagers and older, perfect figures, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect eyes which reflected a perfectly happy or perfectly horrible life.

"Erik. Erik. Give us our Erik!" they chanted in monotone, walking (perfectly) towards the pair.

The Opera Ghost was just about to turn his candles on the girls when he noticed something. There were two girls, apparently the two that weren't the Mary-Sue's, and they were trying to run away.

The ages seemed…odd. One was small, scrawny, and looked about 9. The other was freakishly tall, slim, and seemed 15.

The smaller one was yelling. "NO! NO! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THESE GIRLS! I WRITE THIS STORY!"

The older one was simply trying to push through the mob.

Erik blinked, exchanging glances with Mme. Giry. "The authoress?" he mouthed, and the older woman just shrugged with an 'I-guess-so' look.

Before Erik could speak, the smaller one's screams had gone up in an octave. "NO! DON'T MAKE ME! I'M NOT A REAL PHANGIRL!"

Instant silence followed. The 5,998 girls froze in their places in the water, turned, and formed a tight circle around the two non-Sues.

"You are not followers of Erik?" they all asked in their perfect voices.

The little girl blinked, and shook her head. Suddenly all the Sues glared at her, all raising a yellow vegetable in (perfect) sequence.

"Children of the Corn!" they hissed, advancing manically on the two girls with their corn.

"PHANGIRLS!" Erik boomed to them. 5,999 heads turned to stare at the man. One Sue was looking longingly at her corn, wondering if she could go off the cheese-cube diet just this once and actually eat.

"Do not harm the…erm…normal humans with your corn!"

Now being denied the use of healthy food, the Mary-Sues dropped their corn and turned on the two girls again. The circle began moving in a (perfect) formation, one scrunching down then popping back up while the girl next to her did the opposite.

"Ding-frazzle-dum, ding-frazzle-dum!" they sang, receiving shrieks of utmost horror.

"ERIK! USE CODE CSS!" Madame Giry cried over the disturbing song.

"I CAN'T! IT'S COPY-RIGHT TO SUPERGIRRL!"

"THEN USE THE CANDLES, YOU MORON!"

Erik wielded the candles mercilessly; striking the intoxicating fumes towards any girl he could hear singing. They would smell it, then immediately collapse.

"What's in these things?" he wondered to himself.

"It's called ecstasy."

Erik turned to see a creepy old Teen Living teacher standing on the water, grinning evilly. She held a knife in one hand.

"Don't get AIDS," she hissed before sinking below the water and back into the pits of hell.

Erik blinked, and then went back to his insane candle-fighting. Soon only one remained, and she continued to circle the doomed pair.

"Phangirl!" he cried, and she turned. Thinking quickly, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I AM A SEXY BEAST!"

The phangirl immediately swooned, and fainted. He smiled, putting the candle down.

The older one bowed slightly. "Thank you, Monsieur E-"She was cut off as an ivory cane boomeranged through the air, knocking both girls out, and then came back to Mme. Giry.

The woman dragged the two out of the water by hooking the smaller one's collar on her cane and slinging that over her shoulder, and simply dragging the taller one.

"You have 20 minutes to trick my daughter Meg and win the bet, Erik," she reminded, walking towards her secret passageway. "Try not to fail horribly."

Erik watched her walk off, and then stared at the 5,998 phangirls floating in the water. Then he shrugged. "Ah well! If I'm lucky, they'll drown," he smiled, swooshing his cape and going back to his organ.

Now…how to trick Meg…

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A/N: -stares at Supergirrl fans who are trying to shoot me- I'M SORRY! I gave her credit, please do not kill me. If I get in trouble, I'll just edit the story and take that part out.

Hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Maybe I'll have another chapter up by Friday!