There's a big bit of head cannon explained at the end that you should read but I can't force you to.

Thoughts are appear like this.

Last but not least, I want to thank everyone who reviewed/alerted. I think I replied to all the reviews but if I missed someone come yell at me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Google.

Part 3: First Contact (Antagonizing)

Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka Baka

"Baka, America," England muttered.

"Hmm, what was that Cheri?" France slid his hand on to England's knee.

"Bloody hell! Don't touch me, you frog!" England leaped away from France or at least he tried to. Escaping French perverts is impossible when you're trapped inside a cramped car and so England crashed into the cars door. All the Axis and Allies were inside of the same car. It was crowded, cramped, hot, and smelled like pasta thanks to Italy who had insisted on bringing some. For England it was hell but for France it meant easy pickings.

"England-san, please do not shout," Japan requested.

This, England decided, was all Americas fault.

The stupid Yank had taken off at the end of the world conference like some kind of demon was after him, which was impossible because Russia was talking to China. He had apparently been in such a hurry that forgot about the Allie meeting afterward and had accidentally taken one of Germany's papers with him.

The Allies had decided that if America was going to leave them behind then they would just follow him and drag him to the meeting even if no one really wanted him there after ditching them. Germany was determined to get his paper back and had decided to tag along. When Italy heard that everyone was going somewhere he had insisted on coming and had pleaded with Japan to come so that it could "be just like old time but without people shooting at (him)."

Something had told England that going to America's house would be a bad idea. That the meeting didn't need America and the paper could be returned tomorrow but he had ignored it. So they were all stuck in a car that would have been big for one of the Nations but wasn't with all of them.

After what seemed like an eternity, in hell, they arrived at America's nearest house. One by one the Nations exited the car. Italy spun around a few times and France brushed his hair away from his eyes while the others just straightened their clothes once they were out. A set wrought iron gates with a high brick wall on either side stood in front of them. Having no other choice they approached the gates and peered beyond them.

Inside the yard was a lush green and was split by a long winding driveway surrounded by trees. Pressing their faces up to the iron to look at the brick wall revealed a line of trimmed hedges and bright flower gardens. Returning their attention to the center of the yard the nations focused on the buildings inside. All three were painted red and white. The first building on the right side of the driveway was a barn judging by the large double doors. Further up the drive the smallest building, most likely a shed, sat surrounded by sunflowers that were probably as tall as Russia. The last and biggest building was the house. They couldn't see many details but the curtains seemed blue to England's eyes.

An unnecessarily large red, white, and blue house, typical America, England thought as he half halfheartedly pulled on the gate. "How do we get in?"

"I could make the door open, da," Russia suggested with a creepy smile.

England paled a bit at what America's reaction might be to that, he had no doubt it would be loud, and that the Russian had the strength to do it. Really, he had only been voicing his thoughts aloud. "Let's leave that as an option for now." Russia shrugged.

England glanced around the gates. Hopefully America hadn't forgotten that other people would have to get into his home and had made a way for them to do so. He spotted a white rectangle that had a round button on it, a doorbell. Hurriedly, because he just wanted this over with after that car ride, he pressed it.

Suddenly a voice came out of nowhere, "Hello, Jones residence. How may I be of service?"

Inside the control room one state with golden hair and skin had a particularly gleeful grin on her red lips. This was going to be so much fun. If those nations set one foot across the property line, and she was sure they would,...well York wouldn't be able to brag about how he had fought England way back when. It may not be the same thing but this would be enough to wipe that cocky smirk off his face.

"Cali," Delaware whispered as England finally reached for the doorbell after the Nations had finished making fools of themselves. "You're up."

California smirked as she slid on her microphone head piece. She straightened her shoulders and tank top like a professional and waited for the small buzz. Seconds later the doorbell rang.

"Hello, Jones residence. How may I be of service?"

On screen England looked annoyed but he stayed polite, which really was nice of him since they couldn't do much to the Nations while they were outside and it would suck if they did something before they could enact revenge. "Yes, I need to speak with Mr. Jones."

California grinned. "One moment please." Why make things easy on England? Surely Google had the answer to that but right now she was only interested with one fact. "I'm sorry sir but you'll have to be more specific. Which Mr. Jones do you want to speak to?"

England's control of his anger was slipping. "How many Jones are there? I-"

"1,581,172."

"What!"

"There are 1,581,172 people in the United States with the last name Jones. Statistically, it's the 5th most popular last name."

England replied through his gritted teeth, "That's," he took a deep calming breath, "nice but I don't need to speak with all of them."

California interrupted, "That's why you need to tell us which one sir." Oh, he's going to blow up now. His face was turning red, he was breathing deeply, and France was backing away, the surest sign of England's anger if there ever was one.

Obviously the States and France weren't the only ones aware of this because Germany pulled him away from the speaker and stepped up. "We would like to speak to Alfred F. Jones. Please."

California and half the other states in the room, although they wouldn't admit it, pouted at having their fun taken away. "One moment, I'll go see if he's available," she stated and leaned back into her chair.

The figures outside shifted and glanced at each other. They were all impatient but thought that the human on the other end was going to get America and soon they would be on their way. After a few moments of this Delaware nodded at California and she leaned forward again. In her best pity the poor little me voice she said, "I'm so sorry sir. But he's unavailable"

A nerve in Germany's head twitched. "It's important; we need to talk to him. Please go tell him that." the Nation's thick German accent had gotten thicker.

Most of the states would have backed down at that. None would have abandoned their mission but they would have squeaked out an apology before shoving this problem onto Delaware. However this was California and she never backed down. Honestly, why would she? Everyone knew her, everyone wanted to visit her, and she was, in one word, "golden" (she also had a bit of an ego problem). So she just flipped her hair, leaned closer to the microphone, pushed out her chest, and purred, "I can't do that."

Head Cannon Alert!:

1 In my head the Allies like to get together every once in a while and hang out, maybe talk about how they had kicked butt in the past.

2 This on isn't original head cannon but makes sense so I'm using it. The Nations have multiple houses. This serves the duel purpose of allowing them to stay in which ever part of the country they're needed in and doesn't clue any anyone into noticing their neighbor never ages.

3 (I forgot to say this last chapter.) There are 50 states in America. You probably knew this already but think about it like this. Each state has 49 siblings, and that's not counting DC or any other personified cities, most of which they're only going to see twice a year. They have to know each states name and facts about that state, facts like don't piss Kentucky off or he'll hit you with a Louisville slugger (baseball bat), that's a lot of information.

Every state does have a human name but not every state knows what their sibling's name is. Let's use Kansas as an example; Colorado, Oklahoma, Missouri, and Nebraska would know her human name because they're around her but Oregon would not. However, they still want to have that special connection that comes with calling someone by their name, and some of those state names are pretty long, so they abbreviate the state's name. As you've read California becomes Cali and New York becomes York (or when Cali is mad Yorkie, like the dog).

Fact Time:

I can't remember where found this fact but there really are 1,581,172 people with the last name Jones.

Google is based out of California. Therefore, she gets to be in the control room and using Google, at least until she spills nail polish or something on the control panels.

California's official state nickname is the Golden State.

AN:

I was going to have as many "bakas" as England says at the end of Pub and Go but he says it 31 times! But he had to say it in this fic simply 'cause he sounds awesome saying that awesome word, but not as awesome as Prussia.

I tried to make England in character. Tell me if I got it right. Review!

That "something" that told England not to go to America's was Canada who, being his brother's neighbor, is aware that going to America's house that day would have consequences. Even if he didn't know what those would be or why they would occur.

This world conference was obviously held in America.