Puppet Master
Chapter Seventeen-"Taking a Bow"
By: Purpleu
The lobby of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was in chaos. Foreman and Chase were closest to where House lay on the floor being attacked by Malcolm Hunter, and they jumped on him to pull him away from House. Hunter was still swinging the cane around wildly, striking both Foreman and Chase. Taub and the security guard had moved into the fray along with a uniformed police officer, Taub was trying to wrestle the cane out of Hunter's grasp, but no one could control Hunter. He was a man possessed, cursing and raging at everyone; even when Taub finally managed to get the cane away from him, Hunter broke free and charged at the prone figure of House and began kicking him in the ribs. Wilson had moved forward to get to House; he positioned himself between the two and shielded House's prone form.
"Taser!" shouted another uniformed officer who had come on the scene; but before anyone could act, Chase was able to get in several quick blows to Hunter's abdomen, which slowed him down enough for the two cops to get a handle on things and put handcuffs on him. Hunter was still thrashing and fighting them.
"Hey, hey! Calm down, calm down or you will get tased. Hey, do you hear me? Look at me, sir, look at me." Hunter turned his attention to the policeman standing in front of him. "Are you listening? Do you understand what I am saying?" Hunter reluctantly nodded his head.
"This…this is bulls**t," Hunter rasped, out of breath and still struggling with the police although with far less ferocity than before. "These charges…are…all lies. I don't need," he said still breathing heavily, "to resort… to that kind of behavior to win…my cases. I am Malcolm…L….Hunter…"
"The 'L' standing for loser." House pushed himself up and onto his left hip; Wilson looked at him in amazement, not believing that House was able to move with such ease after the beating unleashed on him by Hunter. A large welt on the left side of his forehead was evidence of where his head hit the floor; there was a large patch of redness on House's left cheekbone. The wound from the crane accident on the back of his head had been partially reopened and was bleeding.
"YOU BASTARD! I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!" Hunter tried to lunge at House, but the police officers held him tightly.
"Didn't your mother ever teach you if you can't say anything nice, shut up?" House asked. Wilson moved behind House.
"House lean back against me," Wilson said.
"I don't need…"
"That's not a request as a friend; it's a command as the interim dean of medicine and your boss." House glanced over his shoulder at him.
"That's co-interim dean of medicine; don't get so high and mighty." House fell back against Wilson; as soon as he did, the blood from House's head wound started leaving an elongated stain on Wilson's shirt. Not wanting to stray too far from the scene, Chase ran to the men's room off the lobby and brought back both wet and dry paper towels to try and stop the flow of blood. They would have to do until they could get House to the emergency room.
"Get these cuffs off of me, get them off now!" demanded Hunter.
"They can't do that I'm afraid," Kyle James said coming forward.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because in addition to all the other charges that you were facing before this, you're under arrest for attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon against Dr. Gregory House and several other people as well. Plus resisting arrest, assault on a police officer; the list just goes on and on." James looked at the cops. "Get him down to booking."
"You can't do this…this…" Hunter looked around desperately. "Jeanne, Jeanne, where are you? You know what they said about me mistreating Tyler isn't true; you know we're just having a rough spot. Taking care of him is a nightmare; you're so tired and worn out, you can't think clearly. You don't want to divorce me." Jeanne Hunter stepped forward around the corner of the reception desk; during the disturbance, she had stayed in the back with Davidson. She was now face to face with her husband.
"You have mistreated Tyler; not only have you denied him proper medical care, you have deprived him of the love every child wants from a parent, especially a son from his father. You have never even given him a hug or held him when he was a baby." She took a deep breath. "And yes, I do want to divorce you and keep you as far away from Tyler as I can. You don't deserve a beautiful child like him." Hunter stared at Jeanne blankly for a moment; then, he started to laugh, quietly, slowly until it built up and filled the room.
"A beautiful child? Are you kidding me? He's six; he can't talk, he needs diapers, he runs around like wild animal…the kid's a freak!" Jeanne Hunter reached out and smacked her husband across the face.
"Don't ever talk about my son like that," she said in a trembling voice. Tears started to well up in her eyes, but she refused to let Hunter see her cry. House was impressed; so was the crowd who was watching. Some let out an audible gasp when Jeanne struck Hunter; others offered words of approval, "Yeah." "You go, girl." and such.
"Did you see that? She hit me, she assaulted me…"
"Enough!" yelled Kyle James. "Get him out of here. Now!" The two police officers grabbed Hunter by the elbows and began to pull him toward the door. Hunter dragged his feet and fought to free himself from their grasp. He continued to yell threats and obscenities as he was led to the doors.
"House! This isn't over…I will get you…I will make you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life." House winced in pain as he turned to look at Hunter leaving.
"You'll be doing the same. I hear Gorgo the swamp monster of cell block 'D' for 'dick', is real insistent on getting his loving on demand."
"You…." Hunter continued his rant but no one heard him as he went past the glass doors and outside to the waiting police car.
There was an odd sort of quiet in the lobby, just whispered conversations between various small groups milling about. People from the D.A.'s office were getting names and taking information from those who had simply wandered into the lobby and had not been part of the planned events; they would be the unbiased witnesses. House was still on the floor being supported by Wilson, with Thirteen kneeling next to them; Chase, Foreman and Taub stood around the group in a semi-circle, still dazed over what happened.
"Is Hunter gone?" House asked.
"Yeah, they got him out of here finally," said Foreman as he rubbed his shoulder where he had been hit.
"The cop car pulled away?"
"Yes, he's gone," Thirteen said reassuringly. House nodded.
"Go get Lydia. She's in Cuddy's office." Everyone looked at each other, surprised by what he said. Taub walked over to the office door, opened it, and as soon as he did, Lydia came rushing out, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Oh, my God, Greg…" She quickly knelt down opposite Thirteen and very gently touched his face where he had been injured; the swelling was becoming more apparent, and the redness had intensified. She wanted to just grab him and hug him, but didn't know where to touch that wouldn't hurt. "Are you OK?" She was trying to control her tears, but the images of Hunter pounding on him, just kept flashing through her head.
"Hunky-dory. I feel like I've been run over by Gravedigger," House said, referring to his and Lydia's son's favorite monster truck. Lydia managed a little laugh.
"That name is a little too close to being appropriate for me right now." He reached for her hand and she began crying intently.
"Lydia, we're going to get X-rays, whatever else we need to see what damage the attack did," Wilson said, a slight quiver in his voice. "We'll get him to a room…"
"The hell you will; I don't need to stay in the hospital."
"House…" Wilson began.
"Dr. Foreman?" Foreman turned to see one of the nurses from the emergency room coming toward the group with a wheelchair; in the seat was a collection of medical supplies. He looked puzzled.
"I had said a backboard and collar when I called," Foreman said.
"I know; the ER just went nuts. An accident between a school bus and a city bus occurred over on Lancaster near Linwood. The school bus was about half full as was the public bus," Nurse Byron said. "Nothing seems to be life-threatening from what's being called in ahead of ambulance arrivals, but we're trying to divide the patients between us, Plainsboro General and Princeton Medical Center."
"Do you need any help in there?" Chase asked.
"No, we seem to have things covered pretty well; Dr. Stewart is overseeing the flow of cases and things are busy, but under control." She pointed to the contents of the wheelchair. "I brought the supplies you requested, but we can't really spare a backboard or collar unless absolutely necessary."
"I don't need it," House protested. "I can…" He made and attempt to roll away from Wilson and stand up, but his body soon convinced him that was an unwise move.
"Greg, at least use the wheelchair," Lydia implored. After a moment, House begrudgingly agreed.
"Fine; get me into Cuddy's office. I can lie down on the sofa." Taub and Thirteen removed the medical supplies from the seat of the chair; Wilson continued to support House's back while Chase and Foreman knelt down on one knee on either side of him. Lydia stepped back out of the way; she watched as they got House under the arms, lifted him up and put him into the chair. House now had a clear view of the lobby; he saw Jeanne Hunter, her father and Jeffrey Davidson standing to one side. The security guard was being interviewed as was Susan Lewis, Dr. Murphy and the attractive blonde who had served Hunter with his divorce papers and orders of protection for Jeanne and Tyler. Other assorted people were standing around talking. The scene looked surrealistic to House's foggy brain; he was anxious to get away from it.
"Get me into the office," he said as he noticed people starting to stare at him. Taub, Foreman, Thirteen and Chase followed behind Wilson as he moved the chair forward toward Cuddy's old office. Lydia stepped ahead of them and opened the door, then stepped back out into the lobby; she looked to her right and saw House's cane lying on the floor where it had been thrown after Taub had gotten it away from Hunter. Lydia walked over to it, picked it up, gave it a kiss and smiled. She headed into the room.
Taub and Chase grabbed the coffee table that sat in front of the couch and moved it to the side. Wilson placed the wheelchair parallel to the couch so House could make an easy move to the sofa.
"This side comes off somehow," Wilson said looking it over.
"Here, let me," Lydia said leaning House's cane against the end of the couch. She moved a few latches and was able to lift the side right off. "All those years of caring for my parents taught me a lot." She went around to the back of the chair and locked the wheels so House could transfer safely. Thirteen had come over to fix the pillows and grab a throw to cover him with. House pushed off of the left arm of the chair and slid on to the couch grimacing in pain. He moved around trying to get comfortable as Lydia took the afghan from Thirteen and spread it out over House. Wilson took the wheelchair out of the way as Foreman walked over; he offered House a water bottle and two ice packs, one for his face, one for the back of his head. Lydia helped him lean forward and she positioned the pack on the cut with a thick wad of gauze that Taub was handing her in between. She held it in place as House laid back down. House took the second pack and put it gingerly on his forehead and let it drape onto his cheekbone.
"Water?" Lydia offered as she sat on the edge of the couch. House very slightly shook his head no.
"I called radiology and asked them to send a portable x-ray machine over; once we see what fractures you sustained, we'll better be able to treat you," he said. "Did you get a look at the back of his head?" Foreman asked Thirteen.
"Not as good as I would have liked; some patients are uncooperative," she said giving House a look.
"So are some doctors," he answered. Wilson had been pacing the office.
"What…what just happened out there? When we all talked to Kyle, he said that everyone ganging up on Hunter would probably provoke him into throwing something or fighting with a security guard and he could be arrested for those things; he would be held for twenty-four hours maybe and it would give his office time to prepare initial charges against Hunter on some of the other stuff…." There was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Foreman called out. Kyle James poked his head into the room.
"Hi, just wanted to check on Dr. House," he said. He looked over at the couch. "How are you doing? Hanging in there?" House made a slight gesture with his head.
"As good as anyone could feel after they've played croquet ball for a mad man."
"Hello?" Jeffrey Davidson and Jeanne Hunter had opened the door wider and ventured in as well.
"Hi, come on in; the party's in here," Thirteen said with a wave of her hand. The pair entered the room and looked around for House; Jeanne spotted him to their left.
"Dr. House, I am so sorry," she said tearing up as she spoke. "I had no idea that Malcolm would go after you that viciously; I was so afraid all your 'protective measures' weren't going to work."
"Protective measures?" Taub said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Chase asked.
"Why weren't we told what was going to happen?" Wilson demanded.
"Hey!" House called out. "The Swedish fish swimming around in my head are nibbling away at my brain enough as it is. Help me sit up and get this stuff off," he said to Lydia. "While I'm doing my striptease, why don't you," he said indicating Kyle, "Fill in the blanks." Lydia began to assist House into a sitting position as the assistant district attorney gave an explanation of the events.
"Tom Roslyn, the attorney that Hunter had employed and was using to bring the malpractice lawsuits against Dr. House, came to us after your meeting yesterday morning and informed us that he discovered that Hunter's plan was broader in spectrum than we had first thought. Yesterday, Hunter filed three malpractice suits against each of you," Kyle said, indicating Wilson and the team.
"Oh, my God," Thirteen said.
"What?" Foreman asked in disbelief.
"Why? How?" Wilson asked. Everyone had settled into a chair or was leaning on the desk; Lydia had helped House sit up, removed his blazer and was unbuttoning his shirt.
"When Cheryl Cooke removed the files on Dr. House, information on the team was there as well; after all, you all worked the cases together. She also removed files on your cases, Dr. Wilson. Hunter's plan was to make the initial filing against you all to get things started, then file the ten suits that would require Dr. House to be suspended; he wouldn't be able to do anything to help you in any way as Hunter then filed the remaining suits that would leave you all unable to practice medicine. You would lose your positions here at the hospital and be unemployed and temporarily unemployable."
"That bastard!" exclaimed Chase.
"We'd all be wandering around, too busy trying to protect ourselves individually; we wouldn't be able to work as a team," Thirteen said.
"Divide and conquer," Taub noted.
"Exactly," said Kyle. "Dr. House came to me yesterday with the idea of provoking Hunter to the point where he went nuts and actually attacked Dr. House; he knew if he could enrage Hunter enough, we could bring charges of assault and possibly attempted murder. Well, after what Hunter screamed out and what he did in that lobby, we've got him. There are at least a dozen people who recorded all or part of it with their cell phones both from ground level and above." Wilson had continued to pace while James was telling the story.
"Forgive me, Mr. James, but how the hell did you allow House to do this? It was reckless, dangerous…he could have been killed! And why weren't we informed of the change in plans and the filings against us?"
"First of all, the plan to rattle Hunter into doing something stupid was a good one; I never intended to use Dr. House as bait. However, once he got the idea into his head, I could tell there was no way to stop him. He didn't want you guys to know about the change in plans to have the element of surprise on our side. If you knew, you would try and stop Hunter a little too quickly; we needed him to really make it a true assault and hope that Hunter would say 'I'll kill you' which he did. As far as not telling you about the filing…we knew it would all be over and done with by today one way or the other; in the meantime, Dr. House didn't want you to worry."
"Plus, Greg came up with this," Lydia said as she took House's left arm out of his sleeve and removed his shirt. There, wrapped around House's midsection was…well no one in the room looking at it could quite figure out what it was.
"I've watched enough fights in my life that while the head and face are usually the primary targets, blows to the torso double you over, bring the head into easier striking range and can break ribs and therefore puncture a lung," said House. "Wearing a helmet wasn't an option so I went for midrange protection." While House had been speaking, Lydia had been undoing what appeared to be an Ace bandage from around House's chest and abdomen; in fact it was several Ace bandages put together. Underneath that seemed to be large blocks of…something…in a sickly yellow color.
"Is that foam, like you have in a couch seat?" asked Foreman. Lydia nodded.
"Greg and I went shopping yesterday and we picked up some supplies. He was going to take on Hunter without any protection, but I talked him out of it and this is what he came up with. The Ace bandages held on the foam; we went to a re-upholstering store and bought some scrap pieces they had. That is attached to…" Lydia used a scissor she had taken out of her purse and cut away some tape. "Kidney protectors, like athletes wear; we doubled them up and positioned them so that they covered Greg completely around his mid-section. Under that," she said as she began to undo the straps on the protectors, "Is…"
"Ah! Stop playing Bill Nye the Science Guy and watch what you're doing," House said wincing in pain.
"Sorry, I had to pull on the straps to undo them; quit being a baby and let me get this off of you."
"A baby….AH!" With one swift final gesture, Lydia undid the last strap and removed the hard plastic protectors. "I thought you liked me," House said in a whiny tone as he hunched over.
"I said I love you; like never entered into it." Lydia did her best to keep a straight face, but failed miserably as she smiled and laughed at the expression on House's face. The others in the room were laughing or smiling as well. "As I was saying, under that is one last layer of the foam," said Lydia as she pulled the blocks off House's body; he had begun to sweat and the foam started to stick to him. "Is there a towel of some kind over there that I can dry Greg off with? I don't want to put his shirt back on him while he's like this; it will be too uncomfortable." Chase walked over with a handful of paper towels he had grabbed earlier.
"Here you go; if we could get him to the ER, we'd be able to access more supplies," Chase said.
"I'll bring the ER to us; be right back," said Taub as he hurried out of the room.
"House, lean forward a little so I can get a better look at your wound, see if it needs to be re-stitched or not," requested Chase.
"It doesn't need anything," House protested as he squirmed around; he was squirming for two reasons: the unwanted attention and the touch of Lydia's hands on his body as she wiped the sweat off.
"If you form a scar or keloid, you'll never regrow your hair there," Lydia said.
"Your assuming anything would regrow up there to start with," said House referring to his thinning hair.
"I think the top might need one internally and then three externally," Lydia noted as Chase looked it over. Chase smiled.
"Dr. Strohman is right again." The comment got the first real smile out of House since he came to the hospital that morning. Taub returned from the ER with several white towels. Lydia took them from him and began drying House off with much more ease than before.
"Dr. Foreman?" The door had opened and a technician from radiology stuck his head in. "We're ready to do the x-rays. I'll just have to ask everyone to step out of the room."
"I don't need this, I'm fine."
"House, you slammed your head off a ceramic tile floor, you were kicked in the ribs repeatedly and slammed in the head with your cane numerous times. I think the x-rays are a requirement at this point," Wilson said.
"Please, Greg; just to be sure." Lydia reached over and placed her arm around House's shoulder; he took a deep breath and turned to look at her. Between the feel of her hand against his bare flesh and the look in her eyes, he couldn't say no.
"Alright; but depending on what they see, this may mean no nookie tonight," he said giving her puppy dog eyes.
"That's OK; I've taken enough cold showers in my life, I can take one more," Lydia said as she gave House a kiss and stood up.
"Hey, take that with you," he said indicating his cane. "You can explain your part in the 'precautionary measures' scenario."
"Good idea," she said walking to the end of the couch and retrieving the cane. She attempted to twirl it the way House does, but failed. "You'll have to teach me how you do that," she said shaking her head. The x-ray tech was moving the portable machine into the room and setting things up near the couch. "Do you want your shirt back on?"
"Nah, I'm fine. If I need it, I can put it on myself; last time I checked, I was a big boy." He pulled his belt and the waistband of his pants forward and looked downward. "Yup, I still am." Lydia shook her head and bit her bottom lip as she moved away from the couch.
"Dr. House, I have to get back to the Legal department; I still have some work I need to complete there before we can pack up shop for the night," Kyle James said.
"Are you going to be coming back here tomorrow?" House asked.
"Yes, I think it would be more convenient if we took statements from everyone while we're still here. Hopefully we can wrap up our work here tomorrow and clear out."
"Good; when you leave, you can take your wife with you." Kyle smiled.
"She's doing that well?" House nodded as best he could.
"We'll send her home on some new meds, particularly something to heal that bed wound. I'll go over it with them," House said indicating his team. Kyle walked over to where House lay.
"I have to hand it to you, Dr. House; what you did may have been foolish, but it took a lot of guts to be willing to take a beating like that to protect your friends and colleagues. I ought to know; I'm an ex-Marine with a Purple Heart." House's eyes opened wide at James' words. "Thank you, Dr. House." Kyle extended his hand; House was still processing what he just heard, but accepted the gesture as gracefully as he was capable of. Kyle turned and headed for the door.
"We ought to go, too," Jeffrey Davidson said. "Jeanne's father is upstairs with Tyler getting to know him; we were a little afraid at first how Tyler would react, but, he seems OK with him."
"My father brought the best gift with him. I told him about Tyler's fascination with water and even with everything he had to do to get to New Jersey, he made the time to go to a novelty store near him and found a water globe with fish swimming around inside." Everyone in the room smiled.
"Your father brought with him the best gift possible: himself," House said. "What the kid needs is male influence that isn't alternately berating and ignoring him." House glanced at Davidson. "Looks like he's got a pretty good start." Jeanne looked at Jeff and smiled.
"I think so. Thanks for everything, Dr. House," she said as she moved to the door.
"Thanks," Davidson said as he waved to everyone in the room and left.
"Why don't we get out of here so the tech can get the x-rays done and see what we're dealing with? You got the list I sent over of the views we want?" The tech pulled it out and Foreman looked it over. "Great." He headed for the door; Taub, Chase and Thirteen followed. Lydia stepped back over to House.
"Behave yourself; if this," she said holding up the cane, "worked, then I can get you out of here and back home."
"I'll be good…considering it's me," House promised. She bent down, gave him a kiss and headed for the door which Wilson was holding open for her.
"Be back," Wilson said. He gave Lydia a funny look as she passed by him to leave the office. House didn't notice; he laid his head down on the pillows and closed his eyes. Once Lydia and Wilson had joined the team outside the office, Wilson exploded.
"How could you have let him do anything as stupid as this?" Lydia and the team looked at Wilson in shock. "Were you trying to let him prove to you how indestructible he is?" he asked directing his anger at Lydia. "You don't know him the way I do; he once stuck a piece of metal in an electrical socket to see what it felt like to be dead." Lydia was upset at Wilson yelling at her, but she maintained her composure.
"What did you want me to do?" she asked calmly. "You know that once Greg decides to do something, there is very little anyone can do to stop him."
"You could have told me!" Wilson said pacing about and rubbing his forehead. "I could have tried to reason with him, at least make him think about the foolishness of what he was going to do." Lydia shook her head.
"This wasn't about reason, this was about emotion; there's no way you were going to talk him out of doing this."
"What do you mean this was about emotion?" asked Thirteen.
"When Greg heard that you had all been dragged into this mess, he felt terrible, he felt guilty; something he did twenty years ago was ruining the lives of people he cares about. And yes, he does care, despite the way he treats you sometimes."
"The only reason he cares is that he would have to find and train a whole new team," Taub noted. Lydia smiled and nodded her head.
"He did imply something along those lines; but he says things like that to push people away. He is so afraid to have any kind of closeness to anyone that he'd rather be alone. His primary intention in saying the snarky, nasty things he does isn't to hurt anyone; it's to make you go away before he has the chance to care. Because if he dares to care, the thing he cares about is going to be ripped from him, like all the other times in the past. That's why he's done so many things to test your friendship over the years," she said to Wilson. "He wants to see if you'll stick around." Wilson gave her a wry smile.
"I guess he's told you about some of the stunts he's pulled over the years."
"He's told me lots of things and I'm sure there's much more to tell. I know about Vogler, Tritter, I know about him getting shot." She looked down at the floor. "I know about Amber and what he tried to do to save her and how the one thing he didn't want was for you to hate him."
"That was a very rough period," Wilson admitted. "I did need some time away from him, from everyone."
"But when he needed you, you came back; the fact that you returned and didn't leave him permanently, meant the world to him." Wilson looked away and nodded.
"I don't suppose he told you anything about us?" questioned Foreman. Lydia grinned.
"Foreteen," she said pointing to Foreman and Thirteen. She looked sympathetically at Chase. "I know about Cameron." Lydia turned to Taub. "Assorted troubles personally and professionally." Taub took a deep breath.
"Thank you. I'm sure you put that much more delicately than House did."
"Much more," admitted Lydia. Everyone laughed as she looked to the door to see if they were done taking the x-rays yet.
"It's going to be a little longer," Foreman said taking note of Lydia's curiosity. "They're taking his head from every angle possible and more than a few of the ribcage as well." She nodded.
"I'm sorry; I'm just anxious to back in there to him and to see if everything is OK." Foreman stared at Lydia for a second.
"Forgive me for being rude, but…what do you see in House? You are very sweet, very kind, very intelligent, fun and funny…you could have anyone you want; why him?"
"Because I don't want anyone else; I want Greg. Here's the thing: You know House; he's rude, he's insulting, he's cynical, he plays pranks, he gets you to pay for his food, he defies rules left and right. Love hasn't blinded me to what he's about. He almost killed a man at Mayfield because he broke the rules; of course, I have to admit I helped him more than a little. But he did what he did to try to bring the poor fellow some sort of happiness. He couldn't stand to see the man in the kind of emotional pain he was in. And it was that man who helped Greg figure out how to give Annie her voice back," Lydia said looking at Wilson.
"Then there's Greg; he's the one who when we were at the sporting goods store and heard that my ex managed to lose the kids' soccer balls, not only bought them new ones, but an air pump that plugs into the car, so I could maintain them properly. There's the Greg who left me on line at Wal-Mart, went to the garden section and bought me an orchid because he knew I wanted to get some plants for my dining room window and he thought it was appropriate since we were going to a Japanese restaurant for dinner." Lydia thought for a moment. "Then House showed up and told me it was the only decorating I should ever expect him to do."
"Are you sure we are talking about the guy lying on that sofa in there? Because he never spends a dime on anything; he's always getting us to pay for things," said Chase.
"That's because he just assumes an air that says this guy's paying, meaning you and by the time you figure out what he's doing, you're too embarrassed to say no because it will make you look cheap," Lydia laughed. They all nodded.
"The best part," Lydia said, "is when Greg House shows up. He's the one who kept throwing paper airplanes at me as I was trying to work last night; each one of them said 'open me' and when I did, written inside each one was 'I love you' in one of the many languages he knows." Thirteen opened her eyes wide.
"Oh my God, that is the sweetest thing! He," she said pointing at the office, "he did that?" Lydia nodded.
"Got to admit, that is pretty smooth," Chase said to Foreman and Taub.
"Yeah, if you know a bunch of languages," Taub said.
"I would have to think of a bunch of other things to say, cause 'I love you' is not in my vocabulary at this point in time," Foreman said.
"It used to be," Thirteen said quietly. Foreman gave her a quick glance and smiled.
"Lydia," Wilson said, "I have to apologize for yelling at you before. It…it's been twice in six weeks that I've seen House seriously injured; or at least it appeared this attack was going to hurt him badly. I am so very glad it didn't and I know I have you to thank for that," he said putting his hand on Lydia's arm. "I'm the one who met the ambulance when they brought House in from the crash site; when they opened the doors…I thought he was dead," Wilson said. "There was blood and he was covered in the dust from the debris…then when I had to make the decision to put him into the medical coma; I questioned whether I was doing the right thing…what would House do if it was me lying there? So when all of this happened and then I thought that it could have been prevented…I got mad. I don't want to lose him. He…he's my best friend." Wilson had tears in his eyes as did Lydia; she moved forward and gave him a hug which Wilson returned in kind.
"It's OK; he's still here for both of us." Wilson nodded as the office door opened up. The radiology tech was backing up, pulling the x-ray machine behind him. He looked to his right and saw the group standing there.
"Dr. Foreman, I'll take these to Radiology so someone can read them, but do you want to take a look?" the tech said turning the machine so that the monitor displaying the x-rays was facing them.
"I'm still amazed at how far the equipment has advanced in the past few years," noted Lydia. After pushing a few buttons, the images of House's x-rays appeared on the screen. As the tech scrolled through them, everyone became more and more amazed.
"Not even a hairline fracture," said Thirteen.
"That's from the accident," said Chase as he pointed to a slight mark on the screen indicating the injury House received previously.
"I guess he did make it through OK," Wilson said in amazement.
"Our 'precautionary measures' worked," Lydia said with a smile.
"Hey, you didn't explain what the deal was with his cane," Taub said.
"I'll tell you inside; it will make Greg wonder what we were talking about as we were standing out here," Lydia said with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You are as bad as he is," Foreman said shaking his head. Lydia smiled and nodded her head.
"Thanks for the help," Wilson said to the tech. Pushing the equipment out of their way, the tech nodded and headed off to the next patient. When they re-entered the room, House was sitting up, he had put his shirt back on and was slowly buttoning it up.
"Sorry, ladies, the show's over; you'll have to wait to see my Herculean body the next time someone tries to beat me to a pulp. You, of course, get to see it much sooner," House said to Lydia.
"Oh, please!" Thirteen said.
"Come on, you know you really want a piece of it," House said as he buttoned his last button with a smirk on his face.
"House…I'm the one who put in your urinary catheter when you were brought in from the crash site." The guys in the room started to chuckle as they saw the look on House's face. Thirteen looked at Lydia. "My deepest sympathies," she said. The chuckles turned to laughter as House looked around trying to figure out a good comeback; his brain was too hazy to think of anything.
"I don't know what everyone is laughing about," Lydia said. "Mine is the only opinion that counts and I have no complaints about any part of him." She put her arm around him gently and gave him a kiss. While he didn't look at anyone in the room, oddly enough, House did not feel uncomfortable with Lydia's gesture in front of his team; It seemed…OK.
"So there, too," House said as he stuck out his tongue. "What did they think of the 'protective measure' you made?" he asked Lydia gesturing to his cane which she still held.
"Actually, I didn't get a chance to show it to them yet," she said as she rose from the couch.
"What did you do while I was getting the x-rays done? Take bets on whether I was going to have some kind of fracture or not?"
"No, we were just talking." House looked at Lydia; as much as his curiosity was peaked, he decided to wait to find out the subject of the discussion. "When Greg told me his idea to get Hunter to go psycho, I wasn't comfortable with it in the least. Then he presented the idea of protecting himself in some manner, but something was still bothering me." She began to walk over to where the team was randomly scattered; Chase was standing as was Wilson, Taub was sitting on a footstool, Foreman in the matching chair, Thirteen on the floor. "As we were standing on line in one of the stores, he twirled his cane and I realized that was the problem; Hunter had called the cane a deadly weapon. I thought what if he gets it away from Greg and uses it on him, hits him with it. Greg told me I was worrying for nothing, but I couldn't get the image out of my head. So I rolled some ideas around until I came up with this." Lydia held the cane by the mid shaft and hit Wilson on the arm with it.
"HEY!" Wilson called out. "Hey….that didn't hurt, really." He took the cane from her. "It's padded!" he exclaimed.
"What? What do you mean?" the others asked. All moved toward Wilson and one by one held and felt the cane.
"What's this stuff on the outside?" Taub asked. Thirteen started to laugh as she realized what it was.
"It's duct tape!" Lydia nodded.
"The handyman's secret weapon, as they say."
"You…painted piano keys on it, just like the cane we gave House," observed Foreman.
"That's the only one I've seen him with this week, although I know he has many others. It's a crude drawing because the paint wasn't adhering well to the tape; I think it had to do with all the dampness."
"Tell them about the condom you made for it," House called out from the couch. He was lying back down with his eyes closed and the ice pack on his forehead; the second pack was back behind his head again.
"Condom?" Wilson questioned.
"It's not altogether an inappropriate name," Lydia said. "We bought a plain cane at the pharmacy; then we went to the craft store and got stretchy denim material, fairly heavy in its thickness so it would be strong. We also bought several sheets of batting…"
"What's batting?" asked Chase.
"The material you put between the layers of a quilt or comforter. We picked up black duct tape and paint, too. Then, back at Greg's place, I dug my sewing machine and staple gun out from the boxes I'm storing there…"
"Which are still preventing me from getting to my guitars."
"I'm getting them out of there this weekend; Würden Sie bitte ruhig sein?" Wilson was bent over laughing.
"You are going to have to teach me some German, if for no other reason than self-defense," he said.
"I have a better idea; Annie speaks it fairly well. Let her teach you," Lydia said with a gleam in her eyes.
"That," he said pointing a finger, "is an excellent idea."
"You just want her to keep you after school for extra help," House said without opening his eyes.
"I wouldn't mind that either," Wilson admitted. He looked at Lydia, standing there patiently. "I'm sorry, continue."
"Well, the first thing I did was attach the batting by stapling it on. I didn't want to make it too thick or the cane would look suspicious; nor did I want to compress it down too much or it wouldn't really have the padded effect we wanted. So that took a while. Then I made the…uh…'condom'…I sewed a tube out of the denim material and closed up one end; we slowly slid it over the batting and it helped it hold some measure of shape. This still had to look like a cane, after all. When we got to the bottom, I hand stitched it closed and then wrapped the duct tape carefully around to hide the material. Since duct tape isn't shiny, it didn't reflect any light to catch the eye and bring any unwanted scrutiny. I painted it to look like Greg's other cane and reattached the rubber cane tip at the bottom. Unfortunately, I think that's what cut open Greg's head is the edge of the rubber tip; with the way Hunter was swinging it, all it had to do was catch one edge of the cut, and it was easily opened up again."
"That's OK," Foreman said. "It could have been far worse if you hadn't constructed this thing. I mean, I can tell you first hand, it hurts to get hit by it; but if it was the wood hitting you? I can't imagine what it would have felt like."
"It probably was a lifesaver," noted Wilson smiling.
"Yeah, Hunter got me in my back and it hurts like crazy, but not half as bad as I would have expected," Chase said wriggling his shoulders.
"Bitch, complain, bitch complain; you people have no idea what true pain is. Which is something I wanted to discuss with you, Dr. Wilson…" House began.
"House, no," Wilson said anticipating the request.
"Chillax, will you? You don't even know what I'm going to say. I was going to ask for some Tylenol three…or fours even. Just something to get me through the next twenty-four hours. Give them to Lydia if you want; she'll make sure I don't overdo it." House opened his eyes and turned to look at Wilson. He saw that Wilson was wrestling with the thought.
"Alright, I'll give them to Lydia and let her dole them out. But you're only getting four of them; one every six hours."
"Fine. I'll take it at this point."
"Let's get the back of your head stitched, then you can get him out of here to rest at home," Chase said. Lydia smiled.
"That would be great. I've got so much I need to do over at my place; the bedrooms need to be painted, but at least they are off-white right now and I bought paint with the primer already mixed in."
"The landlord is letting you put real color on the walls?" Thirteen asked. "Usually you have to keep it very neutral."
"Well, we are renting with an option to buy, so he's being a little bit more liberal with us on that subject. After that, I have to get my things out of the storage unit and get then to the house, put the kids' beds together, put the drawers back in their dressers, put the book cases back together…oh, there is just so much! I have the two bathrooms and the kitchen done and my bedroom set is being delivered Saturday. Annie still has to do things…" Lydia had waked back over to the couch and sat down on the floor near House's head. "Tell me to calm down and that it will all fall into place." House winced as he turned on his side and reached for her hand.
"You'll be fine. I know you want everything done by the time the kids get here, but they can help with some things; that's why you had them, remember? Besides, I'll be able to help with some things."
"You shouldn't be doing much of anything for the next few days," Lydia said.
"Which is why it's a good thing you have friends," Thirteen said looking at the guys. "I have an SUV and so does Chase; all of us can paint and I'm sure we all know how to carry things and work a screwdriver." They all nodded in agreement.
"Sounds good to me. After we get off of work tomorrow, we'll come over and see what you're dealing with and go from there," Wilson said. House smiled; he knew the gesture was for him as much as for the amazing person Lydia had shown herself to be in the past few days. Glancing at her, he saw she was tearing up; he forced himself to sit up and pulled her up onto the couch next to him.
"Are…are you sure you don't mind? This is such a tremendous favor you'd be doing for Annie and me."
"Well, consider it your welcome to the team. Unofficially, of course," Chase said. Lydia pushed herself off the couch and ran over to Wilson who was closest to her and threw her arms around him; House was feeling like a real idiot. The sight of the two of them like that made him tear up. Lydia then went to each team member in turn and hugged them too.
"Hey, hands off my girl," House said as she got to Thirteen. "I don't need you giving her any ideas." Thirteen looked at House over Lydia's shoulder and gave him a one-fingered salute. Lydia laughed as she caught sight of the gesture as she pulled back.
"Thank you. Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much this means to me." Lydia stopped for a moment. "I have to call Annie and let her know how this all went; she wanted me to call when this was done." She rushed back over to the couch and grabbed her pocketbook. "You be a good patient and let Dr. Chase take care of you so I can get you home," Lydia said as she stroked House's cheek.
"Yes, Fraulein," he said as she leaned down and gave him a kiss.
"I'll be right back," Lydia said with a big smile as she left the office. Thirteen walked over to the couch where House sat and crouched down.
"House, I say this from the bottom of my heart: you do anything to screw up this relationship, and I will personally kick you in the nuts until your eyeballs are permanently rolled back in your head." House watched through the half-opened blinds as Lydia walked back and forth talking on the phone.
"Be my guest; I'll deserve it."