Chapter 6: Cargo Hold Quarrel

November 5th, 2185

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Lying atop one of the crates near the corner of the cargo hold, I isolated myself away for nearly 20 hours… drinking nonstop the entire time. I was working on my forth bottle, dangling it carelessly off the edge of the crate. I could help but stare vacantly into the panel above me. I had a lot on my mind… mostly about my dream.

After putting some thought into it, I came to the conclusion that this was different version than the one that started this venture. This time I could actually see the woman I was fighting, instead of being just a blue blur. It was definitely Jack, no denying it. There was also me in a wedding dress… missing my own wedding just to kill her. And instead of it ending with me on my knees, I was lying in someone's arms. The big difference is that this time… I know I died.

"Xora, are you okay?" I heard from below me. I propped myself up to see Lyrik staring up at me. I was so focused on my thoughts that I neglected to hear him sneak up on me.

"I'll be fine," I scowled and lay back down.

"You've been avoiding us since we dropped off that package with Commander Shepard… was there something that happened on the ship that you're not telling us?"

I sighed, "Do you really want to know?"

"Of course I do."

"I found my parent's murderer."

"What?"

"Yeah, her name is Jack… she's a part of Reby's crew."

"Are you sure?"

"I know it. I can feel it in my gut and it burns. Everything adds up."

"Are you sure it's not the liquor talking?"

I propped myself back up and shot a nasty glare at him, "Don't. I'm not in the mood."

"So what now?" he asked, sitting on the crate below me.

"I don't know… I do know that I need to find a way to take her down," taking a swig from my bottle, cringing as it went down to join my previous shots.

"Xora, I've been thinking, maybe you don't need to do this," prying my bottle away and placing it away from my reach, "Maybe you don't need to avenge your parents. Maybe you should move on."

I turned onto my stomach and laid my head on my crossed arms, looking down at him, "Don't say that. You just don't understand… For 12 years I have done nothing but track that bitch down. And now that I know where she is, I cannot touch her because she's under the protection of Commander Shepard."

He looked up at me quietly, his green eyes staring directly into mine. All I could think about was his blurry image in my dream. I couldn't stop looking at him…

Maybe it was the booze but I felt like I should tell him, "Lyrik… Do you remember the dream I told you about? The one I had at the beginning of all this?"

"Of course I do."

"Well," I dug my chin deeper into my arms, "I had that dream again… but it was different."

"What happened?"

Should I tell him the whole dream? Give him every detail? No… don't tell him about the wedding dress… or the wedding… or even that he was in it…All that matters is that Jack needs to die… at any cost.

"Well… I can't give you all the details but this time… I died."

"See!" he threw up his arms, "You are going to kill yourself if you attempt this any further."

"I know. But I still have to kill her. Somehow. Someway. I swear I will. I don't care how long it takes or what it takes to kill her," I pushed myself up and cautiously crawled down from the crates, shoving him aside so I could leave. As soon as I got to the bottom, he grabbed my wrists.

"Xora, listen to me," he pleaded, standing in front of me.

"I'm done listening," I turned away, trying to free myself but he tightened his grip and used my wrists to pull me closer to him. I gritted my teeth, angered by his infringement of my personal space. I looked directly into his green eyes and spat, "Let… Go…"

"No. Not until you've come to your senses."

"Why are you stopping me, Lyrik?" I tried to struggle myself free but it wasn't working. I know I couldn't handle much more of this.

"I have my reasons."

"This is what I want. It's what I have always wanted. Nothing will stop me… not you… not my dream!"

"I won't let you do this!"

"Why?"

"I can't say!"

"Fine," reaching my boiling point, "You asked for it."

Using his grip on my wrists, I took hold of his arms and leaned back. In one movement, I brought my feet against his chest and kicked him away. He immediately loosened his grip and stumbled backwards.

He dropped down onto one knee, holding his hands out in peace, "I don't want to fight you, Xora."

"Then you should have just left me alone."

"I couldn't do that… I could never do that."

"You keep saying all the things you can't and couldn't do… there is nothing you can say or do to stop me," I sneered at him and turned to walk away.

I barely took a step when I heard him call my name, "Xora."

When I turned to face him, I saw him charging directly at me. The strength from his blow forced my body off the ground and threw me against the wall. My head slammed against it, causing me to feel dizzy and get a throbbing headache. I pushed him away, giving my arm enough room to cock back and send a punch right into the side of his face. As he turned, I threw another fist directly into his side right, in the open area between his chest and back plating… learning from my previous mistake. He stumbled away, grabbing his side.

This was my opportunity to stop the room from spinning. I hunched over, my hands on my knees, barely able to keep myself from falling over. Feeling the alcohol affect my senses, I urged my body to sober up… and quickly.

"That was one hell of a hit, right into a sensitive area," he panted.

"I know. I looked it up after I first met you. I wasn't going to punch a turian in the chest again," I sneered.

I thought he would finally get the hint and just leave me be… but I noticed Lyrik in the corner of my eye, coming right at me. I rolled forward, dodging in time for him to miss me and bump into the crates behind me. Even though I evaded his attack, the rolling caused the blood rushed into my head and I felt even dizzier. And I was already feeling exhausted. My chest was working overtime, trying to let enough air in to stop my wheezing. All those damn cigarettes would be the death of me tonight.

As I was composing my senses, his shadow was sneaking up behind me. I twirled my leg around, catching his leg and knocking him down, hearing a loud grunt when he hit the floor. I took a deep breath and stood as straight as I could. I felt like I had to at least look like I wasn't injured, even though I was aching all over. Even with the adrenaline running through my veins, these pains were already haunting me.

Once Lyrik was balanced on his feet, we exchanged a few punches. Gracefully dodging each other's attacks, I was determined to defeat him. Finally, I saw my opportunity. I brought my leg up to kick him in his side but it was intercepted. He grabbed my calf, tightened his grip and before I could react, I was off the ground being thrown backwards. My back greeting the edge of a large metal crate, digging into my skin as my body arched around in. The uncomfortable position complemented the throbbing pain aching down my spine. Humans just don't bend this way and this was a horrible reminder.

"FUCK!"I screamed out.

I'm going to need one hell of a drink to make that one go away. Damn it… I am getting rusty…

As I was trying to adjust myself back to a normal position, I saw his presence closing in on me again. My panting was heavy, every exhale sent shockwaves through my injuries. I was barely off the floor when he took a handful of my shirt and used it to thrust me against the wall. Grabbing my wrists in one hand and holding them above my head. His grip was much stronger this time, avoiding any future resistance. His body closed up against mine, pinning me in position. I could feel his boney hip digging into mine, his protruding collar burying itself in my chest. His face was barely a few inches away from me, his eyes frozen onto mine. I attempted to resist his grip, squirming in place, but he had me restrained. I could barely nudge… I was at his mercy.

"No more fighting, Xora. Just listen to me," his panting sending warm breaths of air to greet my skin, "I will not allow you to destroy your life just because you are filled with vengeance."

"It's something I have to do… You can never understand."

"Try me," he hissed slamming his free fist against the wall, clenching his eyes. "I know exactly what you are going through. I may not have experienced like you did but I can feel it. It may not mean much to you, but your pain is my pain."

"My pain could never be your pain. You don't know how it feels to have someone you love murdered."

"No. I don't… not yet. But if you keep this up, I'll be losing you. And I cannot live with myself if that happens," his piercing green eyes opened and met mine. I couldn't do anything but stare back.

"I don't get it, Lyrik. You knew my intentions before you even joined my crew. You even agreed to help. I need to get my vengeance. I don't care if I die, as long as she dies along with me."

"Yes I know, at one time I did want to see you get the justice your family deserved. I wanted you to find the resolution you needed. But things have changed…"

"The only thing that is different is that I know who she is and where I can find her."

"Listen to me! Things HAVE changed. It's right there in front of you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Xora," his voice sounded hurt, on the verge of breaking down. He came closer, the distance between us shrank. I dug my head as far back into the wall as I could but his face still closed in. His nose was barely grazing mine when he whispered, "I never had the nerve to tell you but… I can no longer deny the feelings I have for you."

Wait? WHAT!

My eyes widened. All of time seemed to stop. I could no longer feel the pain throbbing throughout my entire body. The tense stance was starting to lose its strength the more my mind raced with this new information.

How? Why? I mean, it all makes sense now. At least I think it does… The morning coffee, the conversations we had, he was finding ways to bond with me. Or maybe I was leading him on and not even knowing it. I know I woke up next to him on his couch but was that the only time? Right? I don't know. I don't understand. He's a turian, this is not right…this is not natural…

"I love you," he whispered. Lyrik closed his eyes and brought his forehead to meet mine. Feeling his warm breath rushing against my skin, it was still heavy from our sparring. His mouth was closing in onto mine. Our lips barely gazed each other now.

Is this actually happening? Am I dreaming? Am I in a coma from the alcohol? No, he's right there. And this feels so real… But I cannot go anywhere. He has me. What should I do? I can't resist… Should I give in? Can turians even…kiss?

Lyrik locked our lips. I could feel how he was restraining himself. He only came close enough to allow his mouth to greet mine, barely feeling my soft skin touch against his rough opening before he pulled away. It was enough to leave a lingering sensation… leaving me craving for more.

Yes. They can kiss. I… I don't know if it is the liquor, if it is just my emotions speaking, or if there is something more. But… this feeling… it's consuming me…I need another…I NEED to feel his lips against mine again…What am I saying? No, Xora… it's not natural…

He looked at me, hesitation beaconing in his eyes. His confused look studied me, trying to grasp if I would permit more. Unaware if he should continue, he appeared to fighting with himself.

But it felt so good… Maybe… just one more harmless kiss… just one…

My body wanted more, craving whatever he would share. Every breath he took made my hair stand on end. The anticipation tensing, I just wanted his lips on mine again.

Just one more…

"Yes," my voice pleaded as I nudged my nose against his cheek., "Lyrik, please."

Before I could say anything more, he forced himself against me. Binding our mouths together, allowing his tongue to intrude. His grip on my wrists weakened, bringing his hands to cup my face. It wasn't long before my body accepted him. I couldn't control myself anymore. As much as I wanted to believe it was wrong for our species to mingle… it all felt so natural. The more he shared, the more I desired. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer into me. The skin on the back of his neck felt soft under my fingertips. The plating was tough but everywhere around it seemed vulnerable. I enjoyed the flinch he made every time I ventured around his sensitive areas.

With his height towering over me, I needed to level the playing field. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, bringing me to his height. Thrilled by my actions, he thrust my body parallel to the wall. Then a low rumbling noise bellowed.

What was that? Did he just growl at me? Whatever it was… I liked it.

He nuzzled against the traces of my jaw, the rough texture of his skin guiding my head to move up and expose my neck. His hands joined at the collar of my shirt, I could feel his claws gazing my soft skin. He dug his face deeper in my throat. His tongue caressing the delicate surface of my neck, his breathe felt warm against the freshly moist areas. I threw my head back moaning, triggering Lyrik to allow another growl to come out.

Placing my hands on each side of his mandibles, I pulled his mouth to meet mine. Our lips bound to each other without any hesitation. My tongue pressing against his, massaging against the roof of his mouth and along the sharp ridges of his teeth.

Allowing the heat of the moment to take over, his hands began tearing open the front of my shirt… exposing my chest. His hands immediately started their exploration over the curves of my body, navigating their way around my breasts to my waist. He dug his claws into my side, luring my hip to rub against his... feeling the warm bulge pushing against his pants.

Just as my body was begging for more, everything stopped. He pulled his lips away and stared deeply at me, having a battered look in his eyes. Something obviously troubled him. Maybe he was hoping he didn't overstep his boundaries. He did… although I wasn't complaining. But his concerned eyes showed something deeper.

"I'm sorry. This isn't… I… I have to go."

He lifted me up, removing my legs from around his waist. My bare feet returned to the floor, leaving the turian to tower over me once again. His eyes clenched shut and without any warning, he slammed his fist against the wall, screaming in protest. He pushed himself away, storming out of the cargo hold, not even so much as a glance back at me.

What the fuck? What happened? Was it something I said? Or did? Oh shit, this is going to drive me insane. First he tells me he has feelings… for who knows how long… then he kisses me… and… and now he's gone. I'm not imagining this, right? Why does this feel so good? It shouldn't… he's a turian. But we kissed… then poof… he's gone. Why did he go? He's the one who started this. Or did I?

I shook my head, maybe it was a dream. Nope, the pain from our sparring is still there.

Damn, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm still feeling aroused from our encounter. This is an unusual feeling. I don't think I have ever felt like this… I am actually welcoming the pain, something ANYTHING to distract me from this. I need to drown this sensation.

I head back to where it all started to my belongings and grab my bottle. As I head towards the door, every step I take ignites more injuries to awaken.

Great, as if this was awkward enough, my shirt is ripped open. This is going to be an interesting walk back to my room. I need to drink this, whatever it is, away. No, I really shouldn't. Alcohol may have had some affect in what just happened. I need to sober up and just take a damn shower. I have to think… about this… about him… about us…Why can't things ever be easy!