Disclaimer: What's really the point of this anyway? Everyone knows that if I owned Phantom of the Opera, then the entire thing would have been a parody.
And Raoul would have died.
Guess what, loyal friends! I'm…uhhhh…
Drat. Forgot what I was going to say. Well this sucks.
I wrote down all the suggestions. I have a total of eight, plus the few I have in my mind.
Oh yeah! I remembered!
No…wait…I just forgot it.
Oh yeah!
I've decided after this old bucket of laughs finally ends, that I will actually keep writing for PotO. It'll mostly be humor unless by some freak accident I think of a plot. So yes, I'll actually keep writing! Seeing how my one-hit-wonder theory for PotO has obviously crashed. Besides, I'm kinda good at this.
I'm so cool that I thank all my reviews. Psh, take that non-cool people that only list them off. xD
FemmeLoki: She spewed her coffee! –sobs for joy- I've made normies famous!
Supergirrl: This should be put on that list of 'you know you've exceeded your goals when' thing. I got a preview for the Supergirrl, who I basically idolized before I started writing for fanfic. And now I'm like, her fanfic buddy! Lyke ong!!!!
Loved the first question, but I'm not going to bring up the second one.
Whisper of the Winds: Everyone luffs a good fop bashing, but you gotta keep it to a limit. Sometimes if you just completely go out there and write stuff that makes no sense and is just plain retarded it isn't as funny. Or maybe that's just me.
I swore the mask was on the right side, because it's on Erik's right side in the movie…maybe the movie's wrong. Ah well.
Flicka will get you guys.
And you never know how my story will end. –cackle-
Lady Pendragon: Why does everyone have horses? I mean really. Francs. Such a fun word!
You're both Lady Emily, Lady Claire, and Lady Pendragon? Okay. You know who the coolest lady is?
LADY SOVERIGN BABY!!!
The Magic Pickle Fairy: Horse lovers as my buddies? Who knew!
Evanesce love her money xD.
PhantomoftheBasket: Whoa, large message. Uhh, I'll make it short.
I am so not a phangirl! I'm sorry, but to me there isn't much attractive about some old man with a half deformed face and is obsessed with a girl that is…30 years younger then him.
And wear does Erik go in the end? I'll tell you.
HE DIES!!
Ahahahaha, the phantom dies! He kills himself because Christine left and he ddiiieeesss! Victory!!
Veng: She read the book?
Insane: Why is she that happy?
Well, that's at least how the book goes. I'm not sure about the movie. Maybe that'll be a forbidden question.
Kloolk: I hope you had a fun vacation! I missed your witty reviews. And yes, we fear you.
You'd better keep writing! You're a good writer. All of you guys are!
And Evanesce knows your number for the same reason the police do. You're good at causing trouble.
And the thing Evanesce said. Which is why none of you know my number.
Moonservant: Ohhhh, Flicka will get you now. But thanks!
Evanesce: She's rich in francs! We should worship!
Uhh…what question am I supposed to use? I feel like tormenting Erik….I listened to Axel F sixteen times straight, and I ate chocolate.
BRING ON THE PHANGIRL ARMY, FOR I AM ON A SUGAR-HIGH!
Why is there a random scene when there is a peg legged man walking around right before you see Madame Giry fixing her hair?
(Set in the very beginning of the movie)
0o0o0o0o0o0o
"Is there a reason I have to dress up like this?" the man whined, glancing back at the group behind him. They were plastered against the Opera House wall, hiding in it's shadows. 12 pairs of eyes glared at him.
"Silence, fop!" one of them snarled. Raoul couldn't tell them apart by voices. "You can go back to being a girl after we've left. We just needed you to sneak us here."
"Are you sure you'll be able to kidnap the Opera Ghost?" he questioned. The response was the leader of the group stepping up.
FemmeLoki walked out of the shadows, but it didn't make much of a difference. She was wearing all black. They all were. Black dresses, skirts, jeans, shirts, jackets, and heck, even Evanesces' diamonds were black now. They looked like spies. Four black lines were painted under her eyes, symbolizing leadership. The rest had a two lines.
"We'll be able to retrieve the package, yes. I will make sure of that." Crossing her arms, she glanced back at the shadowy coverage. "Sound off, recruits! Step out here and say your name and codename if you have one!" she commanded.
"Kloolk!" the girl stepped out of the shadows, lifting her right arm in salute and standing straight.
"PhantomOfTheBasket, codename Basket!" She took the same position.
"The Magic Pickle Fairy, codename Alex!" Same position
"Lady Pendragon, codename Lady!" Still the same.
"Whisper of the Winds, codename Whisper!" Yet again the same.
"Supergirrl, codename Gisele!" Wow, do I really have no creativity in positioning?
"Christine Ruud, codename Ruud!" That stiff thing looks really boring…
"Songstressgirl07, codename Songstress!" How lame, I mean really.
"Evanesce!" Oh, so I guess I'm rude for not giving her a codename?
"Moonservant!" I don't feel like shortening it to Moon. Servant is such a pretty word…
"Celixir!" the final girl chanted, stepping out in the line with the rest of the females.
FemmeLoki nodded them all off, making sure all the phangirls were present. She marched up and down the line of females, her arms behind her back holding an army whip I just decided to put in there.
"Stand up straight, Songstress! We have a complicated double mission today, and we must all be prepared to follow every single order given, no matter how dramatic!"
Ruud suddenly put her hands on her hips, glaring towards the leader. "Who died and made you queen?"
Basically every single girl followed suit, putting their hands on their hips or crossing their arms. The phrases "yeah, what she said!" and "you're not the boss of us!" and my personal favorite "look girlie, if you like, don't tell us right now, I'm gonna have a BF."
(BF: Bitch-fit. It's from White Chicks. It's when a girl completely freaks out)
FemmeLoki blinked a few seconds. "I'm leader because I reviewed the most," she said cheerfully, losing the military attitude for a second.
"Whhhaattt!" Gisele stormed, her jaw dropping. "I am so the Master Reviewer for this story!"
"Nu-uuh!" Alex jabbed in. "It's me!"
"It's me!" Kloolk defended, pouting. "I'm the Master Reviewer!"
Whisper, who already knew it couldn't be her because she had only reviewed once, took out her small portable laptop. The feud continued, sounding like that pansy/pink rose argument Lady Pendragon and Gisele had created a few chapters back.
"IT'S ME!"
"NO, IT'S ME!"
"YOU THREE ARE CRAZY! IT'S SO ME!"
"IT'S. ME!"
The computer beeped, and she blinked. Dang, mascara was really heavy. It loaded after a moment, and she clicked internet, typed into the address bar, and waited.
Alex looked ready to kill the other three girls. Then again, the other three girls looked ready to kill the other three girls.
"Black…tipped….rose," Whisper mumbled under her breath, typing it. The user lookup filled the screen, and she skipped over that useless information.
Are you…no, no, that isn't it. There we go, Forbidden Questions! She smiled, clicking the reviews button!
Silently, she counted the reviews.
"Whisper!" her friend Ruud hissed. Her eyes flickered upward.
"The four girls have punjabs! Hurry up!"
They did have punjabs. And all four looked ready to go at it. In fact, all four were actually foaming at the mouth.
"I'm gonna get you," Kloolk growled at FemmeLoki.
"It's going to, not 'gonna'." Celixir corrected matter-of-factly, and all the females went silent, staring at her in shock. This bought Whisper some time.
"Nine…ten…yes, she has eleven!" The phangirl shut her laptop and did a victorious spin/dance, and Moonservant just watched with an open jaw.
"FemmeLoki has 11 reviews, and Supergirrl only has 10! Therefore FemmeLoki is the leader," she said, closing her eyes, crossing her arms, and nodding her head deftly.
FemmeLoki let out a cheer, sticking her tongue out at Gisele. The other girl's eye twitched, and hot pink wings threatened to burst out of her black jacket.
Kloolk and Alex frowned, hanging their heads. FemmeLoki went back to her boss-mode.
"Alright ladies!" she called, including Raoul in this statement. "We have a special job before we can steal our precious Erik." Her face went somber, as did the eleven other girls. Raoul looked uncomfortable with the peg-leg.
"We must capture the three anti-phans. They will be a valuable part of this mission." She whistled loudly, and a jet black mare stampeded into the alley-way. FemmeLoki hoisted herself onto Flicka, and the rest of the girls whistled. Eleven other horses, both stallion and mare, trotted in. The eleven girls leapt onto them.
Alex immediately wrapped her arms around her horse's neck and squealed loudly.
FemmeLoki reared Flicka. "Come, loyal phangirls! Erik awaits!" she called, spurring the horse and going thundering towards the horse entrance to the Opera House were Erik snuck in Flicka the first time.
"Come on, Dede!" Lady grinned, gripping the reins of her horse. "Let's go!"
The twelve females cheered and thundered towards the entrance, literally leaving Raoul in the dust.
----
"This is cruel and unusual punishment," groaned the small nine-year-old, flipping through her Girl's Life magazine. Madame Giry smacked her cane into the ground, clearing her throat.
"You are a young child, Mademoiselle. We cannot have you running around the Opera House with that demonic little sphere of yours."
"It was only a Super Bounce Ball! I didn't expect it to ricochet off the walls and nearly shatter the chandelier!" Rose whined in defense, looking up from the magazine to glare at the woman.
"You nearly broke the chandelier," Erik cut in, crossing his arms. "The chandelier I have to break."
Once again Madame Giry shot Erik the 'must-you-destroy-the-Opera-House?' look, and once again he nodded sharply.
"You're grounded, little girl," the man said before the ballet instructor could cut in.
"Oh." Rose stood up, crossing her arms and glaring up at the two adults from her amazing height of three feet, ten inches. "You did not just ground me. Oh, do not make me have to hurt you both."
Madame Giry laughed, enjoying the custody over the annoying little writer. "What could you possibly do?"
Just as she said that, all the lights in the building went out. Rose was engulfed in a bright green light, then covered in the smoke of what looked like a combustible explosion.
The lights flickered back on, and the girl was no where to be seen.
"Erm, I had nothing to do with that," Erik broke in, looking around.
----
"Sup Rosie," snickered Gisele, flapping her wings silently. It was rather hard to lift not only the child, but also the crazy 13-year-old tucked under her other arm holding the bomb-causing mallet.
She glided out the window, back down to the other twelve girls and the fop.
Veng crossed her arms, having to have paid the Candle Men to kill the lights.
"What did you need Shrimpett for?"
"We need her to do a little favor for us," Celixir rolled her eyes, her face unsmiling. It was a little creepy.
"She does control what we all say and do, correct?" Songstress questioned, and Rose answered by blinking and pulling a pencil out from behind her ear. She scribbled something into thin air, and suddenly Songstess twitched and began dancing like a Newsie.
"We ain't gonna sell dem papes until the price goes dowan again!" the victimized phangirl cried in the New York accent.
Gisele dropped Rose in shock, and Insane burst out laughing.
Lady helped up the authoress, who brushed herself off and put the quickly wrote into nothingness again.
Songstress stopped singing and twirling in circles. Rose put the pencil back behind her ear and crossed her arms, Insane showing off the mallet to a curious-looking Moonservant.
"And when it makes contact with the ground, everything goes boom!"
The Phangirl Leader, FemmeLoki, came up again. "Young Rose, we request the capture and possession of Erik Destler."
"What's in it for me?"
"The emotional torture of Erik."
"Tempting," she responded. "But anything else?"
Basket thought quickly. "The Fop. We'll, uh, keep him in this outfit. For as long as we can."
"Aaannnddd?"
"For the love of God, woman!" Whisper stormed. "We're going to make fun of the Phantom of the Opera, which you don't even like but you're still writing for! What else could you want?!"
"I dedicated a chapter to you." Gisele reminded. "Do something for us."
She was quiet for a brief second. "DEAL!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, pulling out the pencil. This caused a quick intake of breath from Songstress, who started crying quietly and buried her head into Alex's shoulder. Alex comforted her quietly.
"Let's make Erik suffer!"
Two other females cheered while 12 phans shrugged and followed quietly.
-----
"Did you know that it's proven people look more attractive in candlelight?" Meg mumbled, leafing through the magazine Rose had left behind. Erik suddenly looked up from his eighteen thousand, three hundred and seventy-two candles.
"Uh…no?"
Meg cocked an eyebrow and he smiled sheepishly, causing every M/E shipper in the district to cheer and beg BTR to write fluff.
"Your obsession is unholy, Monsieur," she said, sitting on the piano bench and constantly having to blow an annoying strand of gold hair that kept falling over her eyes again and again and again.
"With whom, Chrissie Darling, the love of my life whom I would gladly kill a fop to possess?"
Meg blinked, crossing her legs again and skipping ahead a few more pages. "Why am I down here again?"
"I sent Madame Giry out to go, erm, fetch something for me. Why don't you, uh, think happy thoughts or something else you preppy little blonde ballet girls do."
Since I'm a huge fan of Meg, I can't bash her too horribly But everyone needs some bashing now and then.
Meg pondered his suggestion, then her face broke out into that unnaturally happy grin, and she began to think as the cheesy elevator la-la-la-la music came on.
He said to think happy thoughts. Hmm…I'm happy!
And you thought all blondes were stupid. (Uh, I don't really mean that. Come on girls, don't kill me!)
Then, the melancholy horror music played in the background, and the two people froze. But the almost scary moment was ruined when a hissing female voice growled, "Don't play the Jaws music, it's not scary enough! Play the Grudge theme or something!"
Erik rubbed his temples through his mask (which proved to be harder then it looked), and gazed around. "Alright. How many of them are you, and what do you want now?"
"Now Rosie!" someone cried, followed by the yell claiming to never be called Rosie because it made her sound like some lesbian talk-show lady, and then there was the swish of a pencil.
Erik's head did a complete 360, which much have been very disturbing to Meg. Then he twitched a few times, and a shudder ran through his body.
"Dangit, creepy seductive men are harder to possess then I thought!"
Suddenly, it seemed like all resisting stopped. "Testing," he called without warning in monotone.
"Testing, testing." This time his voice was high and shrilly, probably a mimic of Christine, or Meg, maybe Carlotta, or it could just be a banshee imitation.
Erik cleared his throat, his face twisted in pain and humiliation. "I am a big stupid idiot who has a deformed face but still manages to get a buncha phangirls who think I am sexy."
There was a few giggles from the spygirls, and the sound of a child snickering.
"I'm in love with all my phangirls," the poor, defenseless, victimized (wow I never thought I'd type that for Erik!) Phantom continued, with Meg doing absolutely nothing to help him because she was enjoying this.
"I love Kloolk, and Basket, and Alex, and Lady, and Whisper, and FemmeLoki, and Gisele, and Ruud, and Songstress, and Evanesce, and Moonservant, and Celixir. I think they are totally awesome and I wish I could be cloned so I could marry all of them."
That basically triggered the phangirls hormones, and they all leapt from the shadows and tackled Erik.
Our Opera Ghost was thrown against the wall of his own lair before sliding down a little, corrupting many of his candles. The girls continued to snuggle/hug/cuddle with Erik. Alex had her arms around his neck, Ruud and Moonservant were on either side of him and hugging him around the waist, currently trying to fight off Songstress and Kloolk, who were trying to snuggle and hug him around the stomach at the same time. Lady had her arms around his shoulders and was kissing the non-deformed/masked side of his face, Basket was cuddling against his legs, her arms wrapped around the kneecaps, Whisper somehow managed to sneak behind him and was hugging him from around the middle (which was amazing, seeing how it seemed the phangirls had taken all the room of his chest), Evanesce was clinging to his right arm, FemmeLoki was clinging to his left, Celixir was cuddling against his ankles, and Gisele was simply in Erik's lap, snuggling into his chest.
"Wow," Insane muttered. "That's obsessive love."
"Well duh," Veng replied, the corner of her eye twitching. "Rose, how long are you going to make this last?"
The small child put her pencil behind her ear. "This is their control now. They can do whatever they want to him."
The three turned around, walking around, giggling quietly as Erik whimpered.
"Happy birthday, Vengie," Rose snickered, receiving a whack from her friend.
"Halloween baby! Evil demon girl!" Insane added, walking out of the mirror and into the building's hallways.
"Wanna bug peg-man Foperson?"
"Yeah!" came the double response, and Erik began screaming bloody murder, which rang through the Opera house. Madame Giry decided to come in at that moment, towing a squirming bag that was shrieking in about 16 different voices.
She glanced at the three girls. "Should I ask why Erik is screaming?"
"You might not want to go down there in a while. And you might want to get lip-gloss remover."
Raoul walked by at that moment, in all his peg-legged glory. The three girls immediately went after him.
"And I thought this Opera House would be sane under my guidance," mumbled Madame Giry, walking towards a mirror. Then she paused.
"Why does this place smell like horse manure?"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
A/N: You know what? That didn't even make sense. My question was answered in a stupid way, and I ate wayyy too much sugar on Halloween.
Happy Birthday Veng. And yeah, her birthday was Halloween. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELIZABETH!