Disclaimer: I OWN PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!

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On DVD.

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Spongebob's gay.

In other news, the cast members of Channel One have suddenly been blown up in a combustible explosion, much to the joy of every poor victim that has to watch that retarded 'Children's News' every morning during homeroom.

Huzzah.

…Wow, I have no more funny things to say.

I saw the Prestige over the weekend, and I highly recommend…not seeing it. It's a wonderful movie, yes, but the plot is impossible to keep up with, and you'll never know if it's a flash-forward or flash-back, and then there's the dead people and all the magicians look the same and my GOD it's complicated!

I have 2537 hits, and 100 reviews. I am much farther then I ever thought I'd be. Therefore, you are not going crazy if you read my summary. I am allowing flames. I've made it this far, why not let people help me fix my mistakes?

To all the people writing stuff like me out there; Just because I have my own story doesn't mean I wouldn't die to be in yours. Rose was created so she could torment Erik world-wide. –Grin-

TO MY REVIEWERS!

Supergirrl: Ah, my record-fast reviewer. Personally, I do not know what potion was made of. Madame Giry would not disclose me with that information.

Oooh, Mapquest. And yes, I actually had that dream when I fell asleep during Ghost Whisperer..

Lady Pendragon: …This is why you never give Parody-readers coffee. It never turns out well.

YES MASTER, I SHALL UPDATE AT YOUR WHIM! –bows-

Serey: She said another great chapter. I have a good life.

I didn't actually expect many people to know it was coffee, but some got it!

Kloolk: My dad is obsessed with the book Christine. He kept talking about it, and it was really starting to- DARNIT, I BROKE MY NAIL AGAIN!

….

I chew my nails too much.

Congrats on being Master Reviewer

FemmeLoki: Eeeek, I'm seriously afraid.

PhantomoftheBasket: Please remember that question! You guys always have the best ones!

The Magic Pickle Fairy: I'm good at guessing how people are by their profiles and reviews. It's my special talent. –Nodnod-

Wonder Wombat: Dude, she says she like, the toughest reviewer, and she loved my story.

THERE IS A GOD!

Mrs. Gerard Butler: Thanks for being my hundredth reviewer! I'll see what I can do about putting you into the story!

Icelands: I want to read the book sooo bad, but all I had at my usage was the movie. I'd see it if I were you. Howl's hot. ;-3

Evanesce: I luff my fans! And please continue your story, it's hilarious!

Insane's addicted to coffee, if any of you are asking which girl gave Madame Giry the coffee.

Meg owns.

How did the angry mob get to Erik's lair?

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How exactly did that mob manage to get all the way down into the Phantom's Lair? I mean, Raoul was only able to get down there because he fell down a hole in the stairs.

And what about Meg? Wasn't she supposed to have been trying to hold the mob off? How did she get into the furious chanting crowd who wished the infamous Opera Ghost dead?

And I swear, wasn't she wearing a dress before she went down there? Or am I just going crazy? How did she get into the Howl outfit?

Oh yeah. The story. Ahem.

How did that furious group of anti-phans find our poor Erik? Pay attention to this serious tale of a harsh betrayal from a person no one expected to turn on him.

And more idiotic phangirls whom I just lurve to pieces.

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"Track down this murderer; he must be found!

Track down this murderer; he must be found!"

"Well, that certainly didn't end up like I thought it would. I'm going to be I a lot of trouble…" mused a woman, watching the people storm by. She put in the head-phones.

"Hey Candle Men, your acoustic isn't working well. Crank it up a little."

A reply sounded through, sounding grumpy and rushed.

"Yes, yes, I get it. We'll send down poptarts." She pulled off the headphones and quietly began talking to herself again.

"I guess I took the prank a little too far. I didn't think that Carlotta would take my directions and map to the underground lake seriously." Madame Giry watched her own daughter in the mob. Her frown deepened. "I thought Meg would be able to hold them back."

----Let us see how the other characters handle this situation-----

Raoul tugged uselessly at the wheel, trying to save himself from drowning. But, due to the fact he is a stupid fop, he forgot he had to turn it to the right and was actually making the steely cage-thing come down faster, thus going to end up killing himself until the narrator takes pity and saves him.

….

Which so isn't going to happen.

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Erik and Christine were having an off-camera argument. By off-camera I mean the movie camera was watching the mob chant, while ours is currently pointed at the 'happy couple'.

"No! A tomato is a fruit!" Christine yelled at him, stamping her foot. Her sluty PONR (isn't it amazing how close that acronym is to 'porn?') skirt fluttering around.

"No, it's not! It's a vegetable!" Erik countered, his ugly, deformed face even more twisted in fury.

"It's a fruit! It has seeds!"

"I'm the genius, and I say it's a vegetable!"

"FRUIT!"

"VEGETABLE!"

"AAARRGGH!!" Christine screamed through grinded teeth at the incompetence of her would-be husband. Erik smirked, thinking he'd won.

The female promptly crossed her arms, turned from him, and pouted. Then, quietly, under her breath, she mumbled, "It's a fruit."

Erik whipped her around in record speed, then yelled directly into her face, "DO YOU WANNA BE A COMA TOMORROW!?"

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Nope, Raoul's still drowning. But no one likes him, so it's okay. Maybe his hair will soak up all the water!

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Andre and Firmin, having currently escaped, were now dining quietly at an Italian restaurant, pretending they didn't realize all hell was breaking loose a few streets down.

The waiter calmly brought them their pasta, then set down a fancy jar of alfrado sauce.

"Enjoy, Monsieurs."

Andre nodded, taking his fork and knife and slowly eating the spaghetti. Firmin, on the other hand, couldn't get the jar open.

"Having troubles, friend?" Andre asked through a mouthful of food.

"I can't get this blasted thing open!" His hands were pink from the effort, as was his face. He sucked in a breath and twisted with all his might, but then gave up with a grunt.

"I forfeit."

Andre chuckled, picking up the jar. "It's quite simple, Firmin," he said, studying it for a bit. Then, point-blank, he slammed it into the table, shattering the top of the jar and making the white sauce splatter everywhere.

Andre, white-faced from the topping, set down the remainder of the jar and what little was left inside it. Smiling stupidly, he began to butter his toast while random screams came from the restaurant diners.

"MY DRESS! IT'S RUINED!"

"WHO DID THIS?! I'LL SUE THEM FOR ALL THEY'VE GOT!"

"OH MY GOD, MY LEG! THERE'S JAR IN MY LEEEEGGG!"

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Hey, blue is a great facial color for Raoul!

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Our favorite little ADD Authoress was currently getting an interview from a reporter. The reporter had curly shoulder-length blonde hair, and wearing a navy shirt with jeans. She looked like a teenager, but held a clip-board and pen and had a name-tag that read Mrs. Caroline Butler.

Glancing from the stuff she wrote, to the little 9-year-old with inhumanly long brown/gold streaked hair and a little white child's dress sitting on, uh, thin air and writing into oblivion with a pencil, she began to question her sanity.

"So, Miss Rose, is it? You write for the genre Phantom of the Opera, and you don't even like it?"

"No, no, you've got it wrong!" Rose replied. "I don't like the Phantom of the Opera, Erik, but the rest are okay. Actually, I just lied. I only really care for the Giry's. Everyone else can blow up for all I care."

"You don't like Christine?"

"Her hair makes me so dizzy I'm sick."

This little kid's crazy!

Mrs. Butler chewed mindlessly on her pencil eraser, looking at the useless junk she wrote.

"You also claim that the 'little Grudge boy' needs a hug."

"Well duh! He'd be all better if someone freaking hugged him!"

"Have you ever even seen the movie?"

The look Rose gave her made the reporter chuckle quietly. "Oh, wait, that's right. You're a kid." She glanced at her notes, nodding absently.

"Now, explain again: How does saving the cheerleader save the world?"

Before she could reply, three phangirls burst through.

"Rose, you havta help us!" Icelands pleaded, and the child lost her concentration with the pencil and fell out of thin air.

"What's, ow, wrong?"

"It's absolutely awful!" cried Serey, wringing her hands in stress. "Raoul's drowning, Erik's taken Christine hostage, and Piangi's dead!"

"Explain to me how those the first and third one are awful?" whispered Wonder Wombat to Icelands, who giggled. But Wonder Wombat got elbowed by Serey.

"Ow! I mean, and uh, Madame Giry told an angry mob of people how to get to Erik's lair, and now they're going to go kill him!" W.W. rubbed her arm, glaring at Serey.

Rose rose (Erm, what?) an eyebrow. Then she turned back to Mrs. Butler. "Please continue the interview."

"AUTHORESS, YOU HAVE TO HELP!" all three chorused. Rose sighed, glancing back at the reporter.

"This'll have to continue sometime. I have a fop, pervert, and whore to save, and a cane-wielding woman to ground." She pulled the pencil and wrote quickly, vanishing in a puff of smoke.

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"I'm GROUNDED?" Madame Giry scoffed, disbelief clear on her face. The child nodded, her arms crossed.

"Yes you are. You put a dude that a lot of girls like in danger, and in turn, made Christine chose Raoul. So go sit in the corner and think of all the things you did."

Madame Giry gave her the crazy look, which I personally think she deserved even though she's me.

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Raoul's body was floating lifelessly under the bars, and cheers went up around the world. But the cheers died as suddenly time went backwards, and Raoul somehow managed to turn the wheel the right way.

Lifting himself up, he accidentally conked himself on the metal grid and fell backwards, knocked out.

Oops?

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Well, you all know what happens to Christine and Erik. I can't screw them up anymore then they already did, so I'm just going to leave you guys here. My imagination has failed me, sadly, and I'm out of witty things.

So, I will leave you with free Raoul voodoo dolls, complete with pins!

UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER!

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A/N: I swear, I am not gay. I just like Meg more then Erik because I think Erik is a dolt, and usually I favor girls in movies and shows (unless there is a really hot guy, like the Peter in Naria.) because they usually kick butt.

I actually gave a description of Rose. That has to be the first description I've ever given. Wow.

Well, I hope you guys liked this one. Keep sending in ideas so I don't have to think them up!