Chapter 14: Raining
November 30th, 2185
Slowly turning the handle, the door creaked open to reveal a depressing sight. Dozens of spiders scurried back into their nooks, their webs twinkling from the sunrays creeping through the blinds. The furniture was caked in dust and the air was heavy with their particles wondrously drifting to their unknown destination. Their grayish existence littered across the room, only stirring when I make my bold return. The faint outline of footprints trailing across the floor could still be seen, marking my previous visit.
The memories flooded my mind, stinging with growing intensity the more I dwelled on each one. The shadows I fought to avoid seeing began creeping across the walls, being awakened by my presence. I could hear them cackling at me… their voices bitter from my lack of communication. Whenever I came back… "home"… I always fell silent. I simply couldn't bring myself to speak. Any time I tried, the words I spoke were nothing more than gibberish. Not to mention that the moment I opened my mouth, the repressed feelings I stored away all these years would come pouring out and cause me to break down emotionally.
As I shut the door, the last ounce of bright sunlight flourished and left me in the dim room. Suiting the overall atmosphere, the shadowy enclosure felt like a catacomb. I trudged through the powdery carpet and came across the base of the staircase. Looking up at the bedrooms, I could faintly visualize a younger version of my brother storming past the doors and dashing down the stairs towards the kitchen. This was common whenever we were summoned for dinner… the only time we were guaranteed time with our parents. The vivid illusion left me weak and on the verge of collapsing.
Finding solace at the bottom of the staircase, I sat down with my trench coat trailing between my feet and my hands dangling off my knees. I shut my eyes and concentrated on the muted groaning of the house settling. It's welcomed stirring eluding the deafening silence. Once I was able to summon enough energy, I dug into my pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. The edges were worn away and exhibited signs of continuous use.
Carefully prying the paper open, it revealed an old photograph… the last known image of my parents. They were sitting next to each other on the front stoop, smiling. My father had his arms around my mother as she held one of her beloved roses from the bush outside the main window. My mother loved roses… so my dad planted that bush for their anniversary. I stared at the photograph and fought every urge to cry, the tears welling up in preparation at the base of my eye.
Before I could get too carried away in my thoughts, I heard a creak come from the front door. I instinctively brought my hand to the holstered pistol on my hip and waited for the intruder to enter. I was beginning to draw my weapon out when I heard a familiar voice.
"Xora? It's me…" Lyrik announced, "Are you here?"
I could hear the door closing, followed by his footsteps heading towards my location. When Lyrik passed the center beam, he quickly noticed my ghostly figure sitting on the stairs.
"Oh good, you are here," he smiled, "I thought you could use some company… wow, it doesn't look like anything in here was ever changed or moved…"
I glared at him, unable to say a word.
"Are you okay?"
I directed my attention back to the photograph in my hands and gave him a slight nod, confirming my acceptable state. He took a few steps up the staircase to see what my hands disclosed.
"You look just like them," he mentioned, pointing at my parents.
Fighting even harder to keep the tears at bay, I got up and continued up the rest of the stairs. Lyrik waited below, watching me with concerned eyes. I held out my hand as an invitation for him to follow. He took hold and I led him to the room at the end of the hallway.
The room had photographs scattered across the wall, mostly of my grandfather and the ships we discovered at the boneyard. There were books piled on the table next to the bed and strewed over the desk by the window, primarily non-fictional stories about adventurous captains and encyclopedias about ship building. The shelves were filled with model ships that I spent hours building and action figures from some of my favorite movies, still in their original packaging. This was clearly my room…
Directing Lyrik to settle himself on my bed, I was on a mission to dig out a priceless artifact. Shuffling through some papers in the lowest drawer of my desk, I pulled out a pale blue binder with the words "My Wonderful Life" written with a permanent marker on the front. I took a seat right next to my turian companion and laid the binder on my lap, prepared to take him on a journey through my past. One page after another, I revealed parts of my life that no one knew about. Photographs of every single thing I cherished, ribbons from my accomplishments, personal notes written from a simpler time (even confessionals about my teenage crushes and my first kiss)… all stored in this time capsule.
As I continued flipping through the pages, my eyes conveyed the heartache each image triggered. Lyrik could vibrantly see my distress and began rubbing my back, hoping it would help quell the spirits stirring within.
Mustering enough strength to break the silence, I admitted, "This is what I was fighting for… revenge for the life that was stolen away from me. But the need for revenge is a funny thing. It won't bring back the dead nor will it bring them happiness. It was all because my heart wanted justice… it's what my heart wanted…"
My quartermaster stared deeply into my injured brown eyes and asked, "Xora, where do you think your heart is?"
Without taking a second thought, I looked down at my chest and placed my hand over the center.
"If you want to be literal about it, sure… but, my father taught me that it's more a state of mind. It is right here, not inside our bodies at all," he motioned his hand around his head as he began explaining his supposition, "A heart is created between people when they meet for the first time, a bond that is brought to life between individuals. It's an emotional connection. When you think about something or care about someone, that's where your heart is born. If you were the only person who existed in this world, your heart would have no way of forming so it wouldn't be anywhere."
He took my hands into his and gazed at me tenderly, "If you believe with all of your heart that you belong somewhere, then that is where you'll stay. For me, I believe with all of my heart that I belong with you… so I will always stand by you, even when you push me away. I want to be there to help you push away all these dark clouds and make the skies clear for you once more. I want to give you the happiness that was taken away and replace your haunted memories with the great ones we'll have together. Because this is where I belong," he promised as he pressed his forehead gently against mine.
Feeling his hands clasp around my chin, I whimpered, "Your father taught you all this?"
"For the most part."
"He sounds like he was a very smart man."
"Yes, he was," he smiled, nuzzling the tip of my nose with his, "I wish you had the chance to meet him."
When Lyrik mentioned this, I realized there was still something that needed to be done. I pulled myself away and hopped off the bed, returned the binder back to its hidden location and started heading towards the door. I stopped mid-stride and turned towards the turian quietly watching my every move, advising him, "There is one more place I need to visit… and I… would like you to join me."
"Okay," he acknowledged and followed me down the stairs.
After locking up the quietest house on the block, I picked out two roses from the mangled bush growing in front of the main window. I breathed in their amorous aroma before proceeding down the long walkway towards the end of the neighborhood. The kids living in the area paused and quietly watched as a tall turian and a lady in a trench coat walked past their houses. Continuing on with their playful nature the moment we were far enough. The whole time we didn't say a word… we just continued venturing silently next to each other until we stood in front of the entrance to a gated cemetery.
Pushing the heavy iron gate forward, I paced down the aisles of tombstones and crypts. I knew the way by memory… 27 rows down, 15 spots to the right. Finally stopping in front of two marble markers, their names carved into the dark stone, "Audrey Anne Patrone" and "Gerald Lee Patrone."
I placed one rose at the base of each tombstone and as I stepped back, I told them, "Hey mom… dad… I know it's been awhile since I visited. Been busy with, well, pretty much everything."
I glanced over at the turian standing beside me before continuing, "I want you to meet, Lyrik. We've known each other for a long time… he's my quartermaster and helps me aboard the ship. We stopped by the house… everything is still there, where you left it. I still can't come to terms with cleaning the damn thing though. Qwen keeps telling me I should at least trim your rose bush."
Taking a moment to chuckle at the petty arguments my brother and I have, I read over their names once more and peered over at the people resting in peace nearby. The graves in this cemetery held most of the victims from the Sirta Foundation attacks. The only ones who weren't buried here were those with special permission to be plotted elsewhere. Sirta covered all the funeral expenses but did very little to help the families effected. I know I wasn't the only child left without a mom or dad… there were others just like me. Their parents buried in the earth next to mine. The pursuit of justice that fueled this entire journey began trickling back into my thoughts but this time the feeling wasn't as overpowering. There was a subtle sense of resolution… a sense that I finally found the answers I was looking for.
"I'll tell Qwentin to stop by when he gets the chance. With how things are becoming, I'm not sure of what the future holds. There are reports every day about mysterious disappearances and entire systems starting to go silent. I don't know when I'll stop by again either but I want you both to know that… I finally found where my heart belongs," I confessed, taking into account Lyrik's supposition. The tears were successfully forcing their way out and were violently refusing my every attempt to stay back. In protest, I stared up at the azure horizon and whimpered, "Oh look… it's raining."
Lyrik gazed up confused. The sun of Terra Nova was brightly shining as it began setting behind the towering city of Scott in the distance. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, nor was there any chance for precipitation. Trying to make sense of the situation, he started saying, "It's not raining…" but immediately stopped when he noticed the tears crawling down my face. He hung his head down and paused. Then his hand reached out to find mine. As he delicately took my fingers into his, he gave a tiny squeeze in consolation, "You're right, it's raining."