Disclaimer: I own Phantom of the Opera, because I bribed Webb.

So yes, now I own Phantom of the Opera. –nodnod-

…No, seriously. I'm making a sequel come out: Phantom of the Improv!

-Grin-

Veng:…Did Insane give you coffee again or something?

Insane: I'd never waste my coffee on her!

Erm, yeah. I don't like talking to Erik n' them, because they're boring. I tried talking to Madame Giry once, but she duct-taped my mouth shut and threw me in a lake.

Mrs. Gerard Butler: ADD unite!! All my chappies are interesting. And I don't call it "stupid humor." More of a "plotless day-highlight."

Serey: I try to make the reviewers have the most interesting lines as possible.

Supergirrl: Thank Insane for the argument. She is the one who told me.

I know! I mean, that's creepy how close they are.

Kloolk: Channel One is so freaking pointless. I only pay attention when they have like, a singer that I like on there, or the Seven Wonders thing.

Loved the stories.

Songstressgirl07: -Quiet for a moment- YES MASTER, I WILL REJOICE AT YOUR WHIM! –cheers and parties with all reviewers-

Serey: Haven't I met you before? xD More to read, coming up!

FemmeLoki: The pressure! It's killing me! Sorry about the kitty. Like I told you before, I watched Hermione beat up Draco at least 200 times.

FemmeLoki: Okay, seriously, I must be seeing double. Go for it, fight Kloolk from the title!

That story is Kre-Pe.

PhantomoftheBasket: -happy grin- I'm glad you guys think it's so funny!

Oh, no, please, go into detail. What masks?

Good luck on that new chapter!

Evanesce: I based the jar thing on something that happened to me five minutes before I wrote it. God, I couldn't get that thing open!

The Magic Pickle Fairy: Watch out Alex. Erik will get you!

-evil snickering from vault in the corner of my room-

Erm, that was nothing.

Pawfoot: I'm ecstatic you found this again, too!

I don't even watch Heroes, but that phrase is ownsome.

LostBluePhantom: xD People love Heroes, don't they?

Loving the questions. They're on the list.

So, who feels like being in the story? Does you? You asked so nicely on PotK.

Vengeance: You're a loser.

I'm so kind to my friends, aren't I?

Sorry, I'm distracted right now. I'm watching NCIS.

Sadly, this is a phangirl-free chapter. I know, I know. But the next one won't be! This one is also a double.

Note: Probably won't be that funny at the beginning, but give it a little bit.

Why didn't Madame Giry and Erik end up together?

(I mean really. She saved him, so what does he do? He goes off and falls in love with some ho that is half his age!)

How did Madame Giry get her cane?

(Set when MG was 18 and Erik was…what, 11? 12?)

Warning: This story includes a very, very, very out of character Erik.

Maria Jules (Don't know her real first name, and wasn't that her maiden name?) glanced around the empty corridors. She pulled at the ribbon in her hair, nervously shifting from foot to foot. Except she hopped, because she was a ballet brat.

"Why does he always call at night?" she whispered to herself before timidly stepped into the Premma Donna's room. She'd be whipped if they found her in there, but it was worth it.

"Oh Angel," The mirror sang in an unleveled voice. It was almost feminine. "Come to me, Angel."

"Erik," she grumbled quietly, stepping through the piles of flowers. There were a few red roses, pre-bud.

Pushing the mirror open, she stepped through the dark hallways. At the end of the winding passageways, there was a male. He had a badly fashioned mask over the side of his face, and his ebony hair was messy and unkept, all his clothes were too big for him, and his badly sewn cape was lopsided.

And he was short.

"Maria!" he called happily, rushing over and hugging her around the middle.

At this point, all MG/E shippers start actually reading.

"Erm, Erik, what did I tell you about not trying to sing complicated measures before you went through puberty?"

Erik sighed, releasing the female and crossing his arms. "Not to do it, 'cause I'd sound like a girly-girl or a fop," he repeated manually, using his un-manly voice to mimic hers.

Maria grinned and bent down, patting his head. "Good boy. Now, what was it you wanted to show me?"

Erik grinned harder (which is actually very creepy, because he isn't supposed to be this happy) and grabbed her hand, pulling her through the lake.

Except he was so short as a little kid that he went under.

"Uh, Erik?" Maria called, looking around for bubbles. She found none. "Erik? Erik! ERIK!" She began wadding through the water, splashing like a rabid fish and squawking like a parrot.

Suddenly, someone thrust their way through the water, looking like they were being weighed down by a soaking cape.

Actually, he was being weighed down. You can tell by the awkward position he was in, like a person playing limbo.

"Uhh…Maria want a cracker?" he asked with a smirk, mocking her parrot screams.

Maria growled darkly, grabbing him by the ear and dragging him to shore, despite his yelps of "Oww! Ow! Don't do that! Ow! That's my good ear! It's not the mutated one! Ow! Don't rip I off! I don't want to be the Van Gogh of music!"

Maria ignored all of them, remembering the incident that this stupid idiot had earlier.

It involved her favorite hairbrush, Erik's candles, and a fiery demise for her precious possession.

She'd never really forgiven him for that, despite the large amounts of blooming roses he'd given to her.

Actually, she'd made the mistake of asking why he always picked roses that hadn't budded yet. He just said they were like him.

What, an unbloomed male who's voice was still squeaky and sounding like a mouse running towards a giant cheese wheel?

"I finally finished that mannequin of your little boyfriend! What's-his-name Giry."

Maria turned crimson, glaring at the little boy she made the mistake of saving.

"Don't make fun of him. You're indebted to me. Do you want to go back to the gypsies?"

Erik twitched noticeably, his cape still dripping.

"Uh…come to my piano! I wrote a new song!"

Maria stayed put as Erik ran much-too-cheerfully to his organ, and began playing.

Yes, the music was good, but when he started singing…

…Have you ever heard what happens when they mix Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton, Christina Agularia, Gwen Steffani, and Carlotta's voices together? (Please ignore the name typos)

Add a little bit of Michael Jackson and some Justin Timberlake.

Then just a pinch of FemmeLoki's poor dying kitty.

You have Erik's voice.

Maria flinched and covered her ears for the eleventy-first time.

Erik turned around and saw her unhappy face, so he scowled.

"It's not that bad!" he shrieked, causing her to flinch again.

In his anger, he chucked a candle at her. The candle hit her shoe, and it burst into flame.

Which was very smooth.

"EERRRRIIIKKK!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, and managed to shatter what was left of all his mirrors.

And, it managed to break one of the pipes on the organ. And the boat cracked. The water was so afraid of Maria that it went backwards. The all the candles went out, and the only light came from Maria's burning leg.

"I'M GOING TO KIL YOU!!!"

And then, thank God, the pain managed to knock her out.

----

Have you ever seen an eleven-year-old kid try to carry an eighteen-year-old? Let me tell you right now; it's the most hilarious thing you'll ever see.

After many, erm, awkward moments (Erik had stumbled over his cape and stepped on the bottom of his pants, causing them to be pulled down. He has very good taste in smiley boxer shorts. Thank God Maria wasn't conscious; she might have been blinded), the idiot managed to get the future Madame Giry to the Premma Donna room, to the door, and finally, the hallway.

He set her down right there and paused. Then, smiling much-too-brightly, he shrieked at the top of his lungs.

Due to his pre-puberty girly voice, it sounded like a girl's scream. So all the ballet instructors came running, and Erik ran off.

---

"Nice cane, Dr. House," Erik smirked, sitting on his bench and watching his ill-appreciated savior hobble around on the ivory cane. Maria shot him a look.

"Who's he?"

Erik opened his mouth to speak, but then suddenly had absolutely no clue who Doctor House was, so he just shrugged. "How long will you have that thing?"

Maria glanced at her bandaged leg to the black cane. "Only a few weeks. But I can't dance until I'm healed. But after I am, I've decided I'm going to keep the cane."

Erik seemed confused. This must be when he showed emotions other then obsession and fury and….bloodlust.

"Why?"

Maria smirked evilly, and Erik suddenly had the idea to start running.

Fast.

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS SOME DAY, MARIA!!" Erik yelled as the female limped rapidly behind him, brandishing the cane like a bat and managing to beat him with it a couple times.

0o0o0o0o0

A/N: The answers were this. Why didn't they end up together? They fought to much.

Why does she have a cane? Erik burned her leg.

Who is Doctor House? This awesomely sarcastic dude on the TV show House: My favorite television show of all time.

Why did you read this story? Because you were bored and I make you happy?
Will you review? You bet you will. Just click the little button…

Remember, flames allowed. Just don't Erik-candle-pyromaniac me!