Disclaimer: This- is the key, that makes us, wind up.
I HEART GWEN!!!! Or at least her music. Defiantly her music.
It's better then Erik's songs.
Eventually, I'll write something non-parody. I have no clue what it will be (maybe fluff. Who knows), but one day I will. So there.
I can't think of anything good to say. I hope you're all waiting eagerly for Christmas (or Hanukah. Are any of you Jewish? I dunno.)
I'm hyper, because I ate a banana? What the freak is wrong with me?
I think it's funny how many of you asked if you could just keep reviewing until you hit 200. Which you guys cannot! That's cheating! Basically I'm going to try to rig it. I usually get circa 15 reviews per chapter, so I'll make sure none of you can cheat. Right now I'm at 170…so after I post this I'll be around 185….so the chapter after this one would be…200! So if any of you try and cheat during the chapter after this, you'll lose!
Oh, and if Veng or Insane is the 200th reviewer, don't worry. I'll just take the person that reviews after them.
Now, I know, here is everyone's favorite section:
Thank the reviewers, thank the world.
Moriko Csove Doyle: No cheating : ) Christmas ham? That's…so…funny! She's a ham!
Oh. I update fast. It's only because I have no plot to follow and can go crazy.
Supergirrl: Aww, thanks! The song was fun.
Vengeance: Would you rather be a lion or an annoying French angel? Or anything else that comes in groups of three? No ponies. Go back and sit in your corner and cry.
Eeeeek, don't say Scrooge. I am trying to recover from my male-jolly-bubbly-telling-everyone-they're-going-to-die Christmas Present part.
Songstressgirl07: I'm amazing. I know. And you want his shirt? I apparently have an extra.
Gerikslover: YAY FOR BLANK STARES!
Angel of Music lover: Awww, I'm happy I made you happy! The tutus were rather evil of me, and I apologize. And it was either Angel or Music, and I didn't think I should call you Music.
Serey: There has to be something wrong with them. They sing too…funny. And come on guys, the amazingly amazing prize (which actually might not be that amazing, depending on your personality) isn't worth doing the Don Juan laugh.
Mrs. Gerard Butler: A Girl-de-Changy in the Anti-Phans? Creepy and flattering.
PhantomoftheBasket: : ) I would like to apologize again for leaving you out! I'm not very smart. And I luff the song. No cheating, girls!
LostBluePhantom: Hosting a chapter comes with a harsh price. And nice questions! I might have to hold another mini chapter.
Nanotech: I don't even know how to answer all your questions. Okay. Uhh..
Poor you! I sowwy.
Hmm. Actually, given the situation, I probably wouldn't be able to actually inflict harsh pain on Erik. From me, at least. Mme. Giry's allowed too, but I never actually think I have….hmmmm. –ponders-. Have I ever hurt him?
Pawfoot: GIVE ME THAT FOX COSTUME BACK!!!!!
Stupid Cali.
Whisper of the Winds: I'm a pyro. I like to watch things burn.
Evanesce: I'M SORRY! You...didn't review...the last chapter. I…forgot….here, I'll make it up to you . You and Basket.
AceGray: Thank you for loving my stories! And I won't be violent anymore. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be violent. I always thought it like cartoon violence, like Tom and Jerry. Sowwy. I'll be nice to Erik and my friends now.
TIME TO WRITE A CHAPTER!
Now, this was supposed to be phangirl-less, but two of my favorite reviewers were cruelly left out. So the next one will probably be phangirl-less.
Also, this chapter is seriously screwed up. It starts at the end of chapter one, but everyone will know what has happened in the last chapters. So…yeah. It's messed up.
Raoul gives Christine two minutes to change before he will presumably fetch her and take her to dinner. What takes him so long to come back?
0o0o0o0o0o0o
As Raoul left Christine's room, Madame Giry leaned on the stairwell doorway, scowling at Erik. He slowly turned the key and pulled it out, successfully locking the girl in her room.
Stupid perverted genius. Stupid perverted genius, she thought, watching him glance over at her. Then he stuck out his tongue in a very un-Phantom-y way.
As he left, she sighed and turned around, facing the stairs. Before she was going to explain to her daughter about losing the bet, she decided it would be wise to follow Raoul and make sure nothing happened to him. She walked down the steps, clanking her cane into the steps in beat with her movement.
Madame Giry had an Opera House to take care of. All the ballet girls were like her children, despite her harsh actions towards them. Everyone must be taken care of, including the phangirls.
Yes, she acted like she loathed them all to the core, but they were around the same age as the ballet brats…except the Anti-Phans. They had no place here.
She opened the door, arriving behind the curtain of the stage. There was the usual chaos, people yelling, throwing beer bottles at each other, the older ballet brats basically prostituting themselves off to random males.
The usual.
"Madame Giry, Madame Giry!" the cry was desperate, anxious, and the accent wasn't nearly fake-French enough to be one of her ballet girls.
So that meant it was one of them. A phangirl.
Mme. Giry turned, and saw it was actually two phangirls. Unless she was seeing double, and her doubles just happened to be wearing different clothing, were different heights, and had different color eyes.
Which she didn't doubt could happen. She felt like she was going crazy.
"What do you want, Mademoiselles?"
"She's missing! She's missing!" the one on the left, Evanesce, yelled.
"Who is missing?"
"Rose! We went to check on her, 'cause she seemed kinda whacked out-" Basket, the other girl, was cut off as Evanesce started up her sentence again.
"Because she was electrocuted a few chapters back-"
"And during the mini thing, she seemed extra out-of-it, and we were kinda worried, 'cause she's just a little kid-"
"But she wasn't in her room!" Evanesce finished up the phrase, which left Madame Giry creeped out.
Crazy ESP phangirls.
"Little Rose has a room?" Mme Giry asked blankly.
"A closet under the stairs," Basket waved it off.
"We have stairs?"
"That spiral staircase that Christine and Raoul climb up later on in the movie to the roof!" Evanesce seemed desperate. It was then she knew it.
They knew something she didn't know.
"What is it?"
"…Well…" Basket.
Madame Giry was annoyed. This wasn't nearly funny enough. Plus the fo- I mean Raoul was missing, and probably in danger and-
It hit her.
"Rose is with Raoul, isn't she?"
Both girls nodded.
"Was she stalking him?" Madame Giry asked, ticked. Behind her, a group of drunk stagehands were playing a game of Duck-Duck-Smash-The-Whiskey-Container-Over-Your-Head.
"Duuuuccckkk, duuuuucckkkk, HAHA!" Crash!
"No," Evanesce answered quickly. "She left a note saying she saw him wandering around, and one of the other girls asked where he went before he came back for Christine, so she got curious I guess…"
"What is the point?"
"THERE IS A TORTURE CHAMBER IN THIS STINKING OPERA HOUSE! WE HAVE TWO MISSING PEOPLE, BOTH OF WHICH THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA HATE!"
Basket's sudden outburst started the other two. But the game continued in the background.
"…duuucckkkk, CHICKEN!" Crash!
"Where is the torture chamber, Mme. Giry?" Evanesce asked evenly. The adult sighed and went the other way.
-----
"She….didn't…tell….us…it…was….this…hot…" Basket panted, sweat pouring off her and her friend.
"It's a….heat torture…chamber. Of course…it's…hot…" Evanesce fought to keep breathing. It was hard. Plus there were dead bodies down there.
"I'm…going…to….kill…her…" Basket stumbled.
"I….can't…believe we…had…to…..pretend to….be….frightened….in front….of….Madame Giry!" Evanesce was barely able to say the last words.
Suddenly, it became cooler. Just enough to keep them from dying. They were a small room, and in the dead center, a young child was sprawled out, about four feet under the punjab hanging from the ceiling.
Both girls were silent and resigned.
"Wow. She's actually….dead."
"Holy crap."
Suddenly, the corpse mumbled something and picked up something near her body, then lifted it over her head and opened her glowing ivy eyes.
"Stupid iPod…so many lame songs on this….can't believe the phangirls put all the freaking different versions of that stupid movie on it….and why the freak did they put My Chemical Romance on ther- oh look…Avril."
Both phangirls dropped their jaws.
She's alive?
Without warning, both dashed over and attempted strangling her.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT US OUT!! WE'RE GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
Suddenly the Hallelujah choir started playing, and AceGray floated down gracefully. She had a Santa Baby Christmas hat on her head, crooked, and held a long stick with the Horn of Plenty stuck on the end.
"No violence now, ladies. We should all keep it happy, and loving."
They stopped attempting to strangle the Authoress to stare in disbelief at the other phangirl. Then, amazingly (and probably out of fear), they dropped Rose.
"This is our chapter, Ace. Isn't that right, Basket?" Evanesce turned around when she heard no reply. "Basket?"
Basket was currently sitting next to Rose, with one earphone in and grinning.
"She has Fresh Prince on here!"
The iPod suddenly yelled "Then…sorta…sha-ZAM!" Then the laugh track sounded.
"But…that's an iPod nano. It's not a video iPod. They aren't supposed to play episodes of anything." Evanesce retorted bitterly.
"It's her phic," Basket pointed at Rose. "She can do whatever she wants."
Evanesce was quiet, and then she turned to AceGray. "Just stick around for a while. We may need your big Ghost of Christmas Present sticky-thing that makes people happy."
Evanesce noticed something different with Rose's ensemble, which had changed from it's ankle-length white dress to a shorter white….thing. It looked like a very large shirt. The sleeves were much too big, and it was cut down the middle all the way to her stomach (and looked like it was poorly sewn up, but not poorly in the way that it looked like something Britney Spears wears, just not sewn up straight.) and frilled. It only went down to a little above her knees.
"Uh, Rose…why are you wearing Erik's shirt?"
Well, that went over like a ton of freaking bricks.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS WAS HIS SHIRT?!" Rose yelled at Basket, who seemed just as surprised.
"YOU KEPT IT?" Basket yelled back. AceGray and Evanesce could tell that this was going to be a shouting match. The two girls began to look from one screamer to the other.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE ME THIS!"
"I TOLD YOU IT WAS HIS SHIRT!"
"NO YOU DIDN'T!"
"YES I WAS DID! YOU JUST WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MATCHES!"
"YOU GAVE HER MATCHES!" Evanesce broke in. Giving small pyromaniacs matches wasn't very smart.
AceGray decided to sprinkle Kindness from her happy stick of the Ghost of X-mas Present onto the fighters. They were all much-too-cheerful again.
"PRAISE BE TO THE WORLD! FOR IT IS A WONDERFUL PLACE!"
Then, suddenly, a man stumbled into the room, gasping for air. Apparently it was still very hot to him.
"Please…end the pain," he gasped, and everyone stared.
"Hullo Mr. Persian Dude," Rose said, waving and receiving all the attention.
'Persian Dude?' AceGray mouthed to Basket, who waved it off and mouthed back 'Book.'
"The noose is right here, sir." Rose stood up and pointed above her head before moving out of the way. "There you go." She ushered all the phangirls out of the room and gave Dargola his privacy to kill himself.
"What was that about?" all three demanded. Mini Pyro shrugged.
"It's Dargola. He falls into the torture chamber in the book, then kills himself as the tortures get worse. But if he's down here, then the Leroux Raoul must have fallen in here too, and we have the other Raoul down here, so slowly the parts are combining and they are now one." She moved her fingers in the universial swoosh.
They stared.
"So…where's Raoul?"
"Kloolk and Lerik took him to another room, and at the moment they're probably killing him."
The three grabbed Rose by her arms and dragged her off to the room.
-----
20 harsh, hug-filled minutes later, all the phangirls managed to get out and save the idiot fop. They had all torn strips from Lerik's clothing (mostly shirt), and were now content with life.
But as they slunk back up, they met a very, very angry Erik (Gerik) and Madame Giry.
Raoul took this moment to try and sneak off before Erik went off to seduce Christine. But then he got lost. Going down the hallway.
"Girls," Erik said strictly, glaring down at them.
"You're all grounded."
Four jaws dropped.
"We're wwhhaatt?"
"Maria," (no one knows her stupid name), "and I have decided that this story has become too phangirl-y. For the next two chapters, it's going to be all us." Erik scanned over the scared girls.
"We already collected the other…twenty-something. They're in straight jackets and small cages. So now we're taking you four."
Erik was about to sling all four over his shoulder when he noticed something very odd.
"..Is that my shirt?"
Everyone turned back to stare at Rose, who looked down at what she was wearing again.
Now, this is one of those situations where he would actually have to take it off her back to get it.
"If you want your freak-ing shirt back that bad, then you have to get over it," the child snapped, crossing her arms defensively.
"Because this is now mine, and you're going to deal with it."
He didn't argue with her any longer, but jerked his head to Mme. Giry. She came over and shoved the child in a small sack while Erik tried to grab the squealing phangirls.
AceGray waved her stick threateningly towards Erik, while Basket shouted, "I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T VIOLENT!"
"I HAVE A PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE!"
In the end, Erik was able to grab all three phangirls and manage to tuck all three of them under his arms, and then the two adults stalked off and threw them all into a small closet under the stairs.
"Personal…space…bubble…" AceGray grunted, scrunched up against other phangirls and ant-phans.
"Hi…guys…" grumbled Brita, and the others tried to wave while they were compressed in the tiny space.
"…So…how long will we be here?" Nanotech wondered.
"Two chapters," Songstress replied.
"Crap," Veng and Insane said at the same time.
"…Are you wearing Erik's shirt?" This is whoever is reading the story at the moment.
"Don't even."
0o0o0o0o0o0o
A/N: Gasp! I've locked all the phangirls in the closet for the next two chapters (until I get 200 reviews, which should take two chapters or more).
Did you enjoy? Review if you are confused. Or, actually, just review period.
Want a hint for the special prize? Here it is!: SNL.
Sha-ZAM!