Okay, I know that Lawrence was the biggest bastard in the history of the world in the last chapter, but you know I'd never make him that way unless I had a reason, right? And the reason… Well, the reason was that I wanted to write THIS chapter! And I did! And if this doesn't bring a reason to Lawrence being evil in its purets form, I don't know what does!

2. The Tables Have Turned

Lawrence didn't bother knocking, he just turned the door knob and stumbled into the tiny, smoked-up apartment beyond.

Adam...

How the fuck could he have said that? How the hell could he have been so irresponsible?

I should have left you there!

His own yelling voice echoed in his head.

He knew that Adam saw a goddamn shrink. He knew that he was the only one Adam had, he knew about the nightmares, the fear, the tears, all of which the kid had blotted out, blotted out as much as he could so that he could better comfort Lawrence. And still he had said that... Even though he didn't even mean it. He loved Adam, he really did, with all of his heart, more than anything else. More than he had ever loved Allison, and still he had said something like that.

"Adam!" he said loudly, walking through the small, messy rooms one after another in search of his lover.

No response. The apartment was dead.

"Adam!"

God, he was a sissy. His throat already burned with sobs. And he hadn't even found anything yet.

But maybe you will, a voice in his head said snidely. Maybe you'll find Adam with a pale, bloodless face, with raw wounds on his wrists... And that would be your fault, Dr. Gordon.

No. It couldn't be that way. It couldn't.

"Adam! You home?"

Adam... I didn't mean it... You can't...

He found Adam in the bedroom, and when he did, he almost wished that he hadn't.

Adam's face was splotchy with tears, tears Lawrence knew he'd exhorted, and the red mark of a strong hand...

Lawrence almost looked away, if not because of anything else, because he wanted to get away from the guilt that had washed over him like a tidal wave. But still, he was relieved. Adam hadn't killed himself, he was just a little shaken up, and Lawrence knew he could take care of that.

He'd comforted Adam so many times, he'd held him and rocked him like a baby all those early nights when he had woken up screaming from his nightmares, before his own despair and fear had settled in more strongly, and Adam had had to be the one to comfort him. When had that changed? When had they switched roles like that, and why had they? Was Adam just stronger, or was he better at concealing his emotions, or...

The younger barely seemed to notice that the surgeon had entered his apartment. He just sat there, sitting on his bed and leaning his body against the wall, and didn't react at all when Lawrence sat down in front of him.

"Jesus, Adam..." Lawrence mumbled insecurely, and laid a hand on his leg.

No reaction.

"Adam, I..."

He was cut off. He wasn't sure how it happened, the only thing he felt was a yanking in the hand that was on the leg, and then, Lawrence was suddenly the one who was pinned against the wall, and Adam's body weight was upon him, with his hips on his own, his legs on both sides of him.

Adam was straddling him, he had his wrists pinned to the bed behind him, and Lawrence found himself completely helpless.

"It took you fucking forever to get back here," Adam said, his mouth teasingly close to the older man's. "And, now that you actually are here, you're going to shut up. Not make a sound. Okay?"

Lawrence struggled feebly, shocked by this sudden outburst. He turned his head to the side as much as he possibly could while the rest of him was being weighed down. He saw Adam's face. There was a strange, hungry look in his eyes, though the look of hurt and betrayal never left it.

Adam moved his head slightly so that his mouth was against the nape of Lawrence's neck, and bit down, quite hard. It wasn't an agonizing pain, but Lawrence could feel a few drops of blood beginning to trickle down from where his lover was working.

Panting, Adam drew away, his grip on the older man's arms tightening and his legs around his waist squeezing. To his horror, Lawrence heard a low moan escape his own mouth. The way Adam was acting was completely unexpected, and lustfully aggressive, but, God... He had never felt more turned on in his life. Through his dazed condition, he suddenly felt the freelance photographer's mouth close to his ear, and stopped struggling.

"What part of "not make a sound" didn't you understand, Lawrence?" Adam asked in a low voice.

His heart pounding in his chest and a strange roaring beginning to start up in his ears, it took the older man a few moments to understand the question. Once he had, though, he began to struggle again, desperate to gain at least some control, but he was held fast.

"Don't move," Adam almost growled, gripping his lover's wrists painfully hard.

"I'm sorry," Lawrence said, sincerely, and stopped fighting to overpower the man who was restraining him.

Satisfied, Adam began running his tongue along the side of Lawrence's neck, gently this time, while still straddling him passionately with his legs. Lawrence stayed as still and quiet as he possibly could, though he couldn't help emitting a few low moans from time to time. Whenever he did, Adam would give him a slightly aggressive bite or squeeze, which only made the surgeon want him more.

"Adam..." Lawrence almost whimpered after this had gone on for a few minutes, daring to wriggle his wrists a little in a fruitless attempt to free himself.

"Shut up," Adam muttered, almost lovingly, and ran his tongue over his lover's throat. "You have to play by the rules. Remember who said that?"

Lawrence had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from shivering.

I'm a sick man, he thought as he felt the warm wetness of Adam's tongue against the crook of his neck. I'm married to Allison, an absolutely gorgeous woman, and I haven't been able to feel attracted to her since... What, our honeymoon?

Adam started to playfully nibble on his earlobe, and even though Lawrence really hated not being in control, he never wanted this feeling to end.

I can't be turned on by her, and what am I being turned on by instead? I'm being turned on by a man. Or, not even a man. A boy, who for some reason is incredibly arousing when he bites me until I'm bleeding.

Lawrence felt Adam licking up the tiny drops of blood from his neck. He wanted to kiss him, but the dominant seemed to be determined to tease his bitch for as long as he could. And, by God, how could so much strength fit in such a small man? Lawrence had always thought that he could snap Adam in half like a toothpick, but now, he was absolutely incapable of moving.

Or maybe you don't want to move, a voice in his mind said, but Lawrence pretended not to hear it.

"Whose rules do I have to play by?" he mumbled, but was immediately reminded by a pricking pain from the aggressor's teeth in his shoulder.

Finally, Adam looked up. He was nose to nose with him again, but he still wouldn't kiss him. His eyes, which were usually a nice mixture of blue and grey, were suddenly dark, almost black with lust, and dangerously smoldering.

"My rules," he said simply. "I never explained those to you?"

Lawrence knew not to answer. And the next second, Adam had pressed his lips against his, so it didn't really matter either way.

The man on top of him was still in control, and he had gone from being soft and gentle to becoming almost violent, thrusting his tongue deep into his mouth, and Lawrence responded hungrily to the oh-so-wanted contact. He wanted to move his hands, but his wrists were still locked in a hard grip.

When Adam pulled away, Lawrence almost cried in frustration. He'd thought his anxiety would be at least a little soothed after a kiss, but it turned out that it just got worse. Now, when he'd tasted that damn kid's familiar mix of tobacco and cheap beer, his entire body ached for more.

"My rules," Adam said, "is mainly about you not talking, moving, or doing anything without my permission."

And with those words, he shifted both Lawrence's wrists to one hand, while with the other he lingered near the hem of his shirt. Lawrence nodded and felt Adam's fingers slip under his clothing and touch his stomach, so unbearably lightly.

"And what are you allowed to do, then?"

Adam smiled devilishly, took his hand from under Lawrence's shirt, and started to unbutton it, one button at a time. Way too slowly.

"I can do whatever I want."

He opened up the last button and longingly drew his hand over his lover's chest.

"And right now, I almost feel like raping you."

Lawrence felt his blood run cold at these words, but at the same time, to his disgusted surprise, he felt the lower part of him begin to twitch in anticipation. He bit down on his tongue to stop himself from crying out, but he could do nothing to stop the violent shivering of his body, which had started when the younger man's hand had begun to touch his bare skin.

Adam's free hand was slowly fingering the older man's left nipple now, which hardened as soon as the contact was made. His tongue was moving lazily over the bite-marks on Lawrence's neck, stopping any more blood from escaping. Lawrence could feel his heart rate increasing at every moment. He longed so much for Adam to just cut the act and just have his way with him. Or, in his words, to "rape" him.

He felt ashamed for wishing for such a thing, but he couldn't help it. This new, dominant man was something he'd never imagined his sweet little Adam to turn into, and he was enjoying every second of it.

Lawrence closed his eyes, so content and dazed by what was happening, that he didn't even notice Adam's grip of his wrists break until he felt his pants beginning to be pulled down. Startled, he moved his head a little in an attempt to catch a glimpse of what his lover was doing, but felt Adam's teeth clench on his neck and his hand around his nipple tighten ever-so-slightly, as if in warning, so he kept still.

Still straddling the helpless man with his legs, Adam continued lowering Lawrence's pants, then moved on to his boxers. He could feel the impact his actions were having on him, and he smirked, enjoying being in such control. Lawrence's face flushed when he felt the younger man's eyes on him, or rather, on his throbbing cock, though it was mostly hidden by his own body.

Tenderly, as though handling something very fragile, Adam slowly moved his hand to the new bare skin, and gripped the other man's rapidly-growing erection, hard. Involuntarily, the older man gasped and arched his back, half in shock and half in a blissful, pleasured relief. Adam didn't seem to notice. He was still busily working around Lawrence's chest and neck.

Oh, God... Why was this shocking him so much? He and Adam and done this kind of thing before. Well... They'd touched and kissed, at least. Admittedly, neither of them had ever gone this... insane, but still.

It was almost in fear that Lawrence realized that it was that very insanity that turned him on. The glistening, lustful insanity in Adam's eyes was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, and he hated himself for thinking it, even though it was the truth.

The younger man seemed to change his tactics at that moment. Instead of being rough, almost violent, his touches and kisses now were soft and gentle again. It was his new kind of torture, his way to punish Lawrence for the things he had said. Adam moved his soft lips to the surgeon's throat and sucked for a brief second, leaving a flushed hickie when he pulled away again. His lips, tongue, and free hand were moving constantly, but the one that lay on Lawrence's growing cock remained still.

"Adam..." Lawrence moaned, and his lover seemed to be too busy circling his erected nipples with his warm tongue to notice that he was breaking his "rules." "Please..."

"Shhh," Adam hushed gently. He seemed to be enjoying forcing little moans of pleasure from the older man as much as he enjoyed silencing them with his correcting little nips. "I'm doing this for you, too, you know. You said yourself that you wished you'd left me in that bathroom. And if I really make you hate me so much, you can run off to your wife without me weighing you down."

He looked down at Lawrence and grinned.

"You know I didn't mean it... Jesus, Adam, would you just..."

Lawrence was cut off by a grunt from himself when Adam bent down again, lapping over his nipples like a hungry animal and torturing him with pleasure.

"Remember the rules, Larry," Adam said sadistically, his voice muffled by the other man's skin.

"But you want to rape me," Lawrence argued childishly, trying his best to stay still under the other man.

"I do," Adam said, between kisses that he traced down Lawrence's chest, over his stomach. He then stopped to look at him again and gently stroke the head of his penis, way too gently. "But I also want to get back at you. By playing by my rules. And you want me to rape you fast, don't you?"

"Yes," Lawrence said, because he had to admit it. He wanted to be raped. In fact, every fiber of his body ached and hungered to be raped more than it ever had for anything else in his entire life.

"Exactly," Adam said, kissing the man beneath him, more gently this time, and Lawrence could taste the metallic touch of his own blood. "So I'll be doing this nice and slow."

Lawrence felt his stomach lurch slightly. So, this was Adam's idea of revenge. He was going to make him suffer in his lust and desire for as long as possible, to pay him back for what he'd said. He gritted his teeth, promising himself that he'd be patient. He told himself that he deserved this for the suffering he'd caused his lover. But that didn't make the wait any easier.

Adam was now moving the fingers of his left hand across the head of the other's erection, slowly. Horribly slowly. Lawrence could feel, through the thin shorts the younger man was wearing, that he was beginning to get aroused, as well. He was embracing his companion's body so hard with his knees that Lawrence doubted he would ever let him go.

Lawrence was practically paralyzed with lust now, with Adam still on top of him, his right hand wrapped around his waist and his lips sucking hard against his nipples. The older man became vaguely aware that Adam was no longer wearing his shirt, either. When had that happened?

Talking seemed to have deserted them both now. Adam was occasionally emitting low, muffled moans against the other's chest, but Lawrence was careful not to make too much sound. He wanted to obey Adam's rules, to be good, so maybe he'd forgive him quickly and relieve the agonizing pressure in his cock that was increasing more and more by every slow, teasing stroke.

But, more than anything, Lawrence wanted to feel Adam inside him. He wanted to be penetrated and violated, he wanted to feel Adam's cock crush through him, as sick as that sounded. Adam was speeding up his pace slightly now, his kisses becoming more desperate and lustful. Once or twice he had torn himself away from Lawrence's chest and planted a long, violent kiss on his mouth, which the other had responded to eagerly.

His strokes were also getting faster and more hard, as well. Lawrence could contain himself no longer at this point. He didn't dare move his arms to touch his lover back; he knew that if he broke that "rule," Adam would make him suffer, and dearly. But he moaned, long and hard, and thrust his body slightly against the other man's as much as he could with so much of him restrained.

Seconds after this, Lawrence began to wonder how long Adam could hold out himself. Even he, in his stubborn, gritted anger, seemed to have forgotten most of his own "rules." Even if the older man hadn't felt Adam's growing erection against his own, he would have known that the kid was finding it harder and harder to keep his own desires trapped in a cage.

Lawrence couldn't feel his hips anymore with Adam's weight on top of them. He desperately wanted to touch his lover, to kiss him, to grab the mass of his soft, black hair, but he knew not to. If he moved, he knew that Adam would get even more teasing, that his strokes, that, by God, were almost painful by now, would get even slower.

Then again... Adam almost seemed as horny as he did right now. Apparently he was turned on by pure, lustful madness, too. Lawrence could feel it, by his hands, his lips, and tongue. Adam hadn't ever seemed as hungry for him before as he did now.

Once again, Adam traced his kisses up from his chest to Lawrence's mouth, and this kiss was so rough that his head was banged into the bedpost behind him, but Adam didn't seem to notice, and Lawrence didn't really, either.

His back had arched his body against his lover's, into the feeling of his naked skin against his own, as their tongues roamed each other's mouths and Adam's teeth drew blood from the insides of the older man's lips, and his nails clawed into his shoulders. They were both fighting for control, and Adam won, of course. Lawrence had already turned into wax in his hands long ago.

The photographer left his scars and bite marks on the surgeon's body, securing him, claiming him, tainting him, and Lawrence didn't mind at all. All that mattered was the fact that he still didn't dare to move his hands. Partly because he so badly wanted to please Adam so that the he would finally please him, and partly because he was still almost afraid of what the sweet little boy he had thought he'd known so well had turned into.

Adam eventually broke from the kiss, panting, and started to plant kisses down Lawrence's chest again, and the tortured man silently hated him for it. He was so filled with desire by now that every way-too-light kiss that the younger man planted with hot, parted lips was like a stab with a needle. And, of course, the slow, playful hand on his cock wasn't really helping, either.

Lawrence heard a choked moan from the area of his abdomen, and dared a low groan to escape between his lips. Adam's tongue was now playing with the string of hair that started on his stomach, and then followed a pattern down to the part of him that was so desperate for the working man's attention. Adam drew in a shaky breath, and Lawrence could see how he briefly closed his eyes before he straightened up again, leaving him and the man beneath him nose to nose once more.

"Fuck it," he murmured roughly, and it was with relief that Lawrence saw surrender shining in his eyes.

For a few seconds, the two stared at one another, both breathing hard and fast. Then, forcefully, Adam relaxed his legs' grip around the other's waist and pushed him over onto his stomach. Then, settling himself on top of his lover, Adam began rapidly removing his own pants, using only one hand, as his other was still fondling Lawrence's now hardened-beyond-recognition member.

After what seemed like torturing decades, Adam, too, was completely naked. He wrapped his legs around the older man's body again, as though hoping to immobilize him, although at this point Lawrence wouldn't have moved away for anything. He knew what was about to happen would hurt him. A lot.

He and Adam had made love before, but it had been slow and easy, and loving. But at the moment, Adam half-hated him, and he was going to make him suffer for what he'd put him through. But in a way, the pain was what Lawrence was longing for. He felt disgusted at himself for feeling so turned on by rape, since that was pretty much what it was; Adam would have violated him, whether he'd wanted him to or not. That was the very definition of "rape."

But, at the same time, he just didn't care. He wanted Adam to be rough with him, and he wanted to be dominated. The freelance photographer had never been one for romantic and delicate situations. Those other times when he and Lawrence had made love, he had been uncertain and gentle. He had never wanted to hurt his lover. But now... Oh, how he wanted to hurt him. He wanted to make him suffer. And he was going to.

Swiftly, without any pause, without any warning, Adam thrust into Lawrence, hard. He pushed his erection as far as it would go into the older man's backside, held for a moment, then pulled out again, just as fast and forcefully as he'd entered.

Lawrence gave an agonized cry and halfheartedly tried to push Adam off, but the young man gathered both his lover's wrists in his right hand, pinning them behind his back and holding him fast. With his other hand, he continued to stroke the other's penis, as if to reassure its owner.

Lawrence gave a half-sob and then lay still, surrendering. Part of him had enjoyed the sensation of Adam pushing inside him so forcefully. It had almost seemed like the other man had been attempting to insert some of his own anger and betrayal into him.

"It'll be over soon, Lawrence," Adam breathed quietly into the older man's neck. His voice sounded strangely husky, not like him at all. But Lawrence felt reassured by the words. He knew, deep down, that this was essential to Adam, and to their relationship. Besides, he was half-enjoying it himself, despite how much it hurt. Even so, he couldn't help giving a low whimper at the words, either.

Gently, Adam kissed Lawrence's neck. A short, soft kiss, meant to comfort. Then, positioning himself slightly, ruthlessly jammed his erection into Lawrence's opening again.

Lawrence whimpered and felt his restrained hands involuntarily clench into fists. God, it hurt. God, he never wanted it to end. Because at the same time when it hurt, he'd never felt so good in his life.

"Adam..." He grunted as he felt another angry thrust from behind him. "Jesus..."

"I still need you to shut up," Adam hissed, and the violated man felt teeth bury themselves into his shoulder.

Lawrence cried out in pain. And that was the last sound he made during the rest of the act. He gritted his teeth, sometimes he drew in a sharp breath that was followed by either nails or teeth boring into his skin. He was drinking in Adam's moans, and even though the younger man did nothing at all to make what he was doing into a good experience for him, Lawrence had to bite his lips to keep from screaming as he finally reached his oh-so-waned orgasm, and that was long before Adam bit down a grunt behind him, slid out of his lover and sat down on the floor, empty, too.

Lawrence turned around and pulled himself into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the wall. For the first time since he had gotten to the apartment, he got a chance to really look at Adam, to really see the pain, the suffering his words had caused him. Adam was panting, his dark hair damp with sweat, and he looked pleased with himself. But the hurt was still there. Lawrence almost got teary from the sight.

How can you love someone more than you love yourself, and still hurt them this badly?

Adam looked at him. He grinned slightly, and Lawrence almost saw the old Adam return to him. The sarcastic, sweet little Adam. Almost.

"You did that very well, Lawrence," he said approvingly.

He really sounded like he meant it. There was a bitter undertone, but still.

Lawrence nodded.

"It wasn't the last time, though, was it?" he asked.

Adam shuffled towards him and sat down next to him, leaning against the wall also, and gave his lover a toxic glance.

"If I had said something like that to you, would you have forgiven me already?"

Hehe… Damn right that wasn't the last time! Anyway, now that I've finally given you a fic where Adam gets to be dominant, it's only fair if you give me a few reviews… Right?