Hehe… Damn, this chapter will be fun… I'm actually trying something completely new here, that I've never written about before, so for the first time in a long time, I'm actually nervous about what y'all are going to think… Ah, who am I kidding. It's smut, you'll love it! XD
4. Proof Lies In Actions
Lawrence exhaled one last time, slowly and shakily, and Adam gave a half-smile at the effect he had on him.
"I knew you were a pussy," he mumbled, grazing his thumb over his lover's lips.
Lawrence nodded sharply. He couldn't say no to him anymore. Adam slid off his hips and sat down next to him in the bathtub.
"Turn the damn water off," he said. beckoning to the faucet above their heads. "No one's getting any cleaner. It's just annoying as hell."
Lawrence reached up an arm and turned off the water tap. He felt as if someone had grabbed his brain and squeezed it. God. He'd never had an orgasm like that before. Allison had sure as hell never given him one.
He looked at Adam next to him. His eyes were still black, his jaw still clenched, and he was scraping his nail against some invisible dirt in the bathtub. On some level, he knew it was the younger man that made him this way. He'd never been more turned on in his life, and it was simply because of the fact that the Adam had been on top of him. Adam, who had his alarming sparkle of anger mixed with the lust in his eyes. No one else could ever make him this... insane.
Adam had shown him a world he'd lost faith in, and he didn't even know if he'd be around for that much longer.
"Are you going to let me apologize now?" he asked, pulling his knees up in front of him.
"Nope," came Adam's clipped answer without looking at him. "You don't mean it, anyway."
Lawrence felt his heart crumble at these words. Of course Adam didn't think he meant it. Honestly, who would ever believe that?
"Adam..." he said desperately, feeling tears forming in his eyes. "I've never meant anything more in my life."
"Shut up," the other man bit back, running a hand clumsily through his wet hair.
"No," Lawrence said firmly. "I won't shut up. I didn't mean any of the things I said to you, except for that. I meant the apology. I would never give you up for Allison."
Adam didn't answer. But Lawrence thought that the fact that he didn't punch him in the jaw either, as progress. He wouldn't let Adam go. He'd tie him up somewhere if he had to. He'd never let him go, because he couldn't live without him.
Adam was looking away now, and Lawrence could tell that he was struggling to hold back tears. It wrenched the older man's heart to see his sweet little Adam in so much pain. The freelance photographer had begun shuddering somewhat, and for a horrible moment Lawrence thought it was because he was crying again, but as he moved forward slightly in an attempt to comfort him, Lawrence, his cheeks flushing, noticed the younger man's obvious arousal, which he was trying without success to hide.
Adam had brought himself up to near-release by the way he'd fucked Lawrence, but he'd been concentrating so hard on making the older man suffer, that he'd failed to ease his own temptations. Lawrence moved forward slightly, and Adam instinctively stiffened, his face hardening.
"Don't..." he began in a warning tone. Lawrence ignored this and pulled himself forward a few more inches, staring hard at the back of Adam's neck. "Lawrence--"
"Adam, please..." Lawrence whispered, feeling the hot tears begin to run down his face as he spoke. "Please, let me do this for you. I really am sorry--"
Adam spun around abruptly, causing Lawrence to gasp in surprise and fear. But the younger man's eyes were not the black and lifeless ones anymore; they were his old, vulnerable-looking, hurt ones.
"Lawrence, do you really think I'm going to forgive you for what you said with just one bl--"
"No!" Lawrence cut across him desperately. He swallowed, feeling every last bit of Adam's pain and betrayal as though it were his own. "Adam..." he murmured, in a more gentle and controlled tone, "I'm not trying to make a bargaining price for your forgiveness, I just..."
He stopped and wiped a couple of stray tears from his face. Adam really did look beautiful, his hair and body soaked with water and his build just as impressive as it always had been. Had he not just been, literally, fucked dry just a few minutes ago, Lawrence probably would have found it impossible to resist him. But, as it was, all he wanted to do now was make Adam happy; he wanted to make his lover feel safe and wanted, and to know how sorry he was.
"You just, what?" Adam persisted. His voice was still harsh, but Lawrence could tell that the younger man's arousal and need for release was beginning to get the better of him. He was still shuddering uncontrollably, and his erection, though the surgeon was careful not to look directly at it for fear of being thought a pervert, seemed to be pulsing with anticipation.
Lawrence sighed, moving closer to his companion and resting his arm on his right shoulder -- the one that was not scarred by the bullet of the gun Lawrence had once used to shoot him. Adam did not pull away, but his body seemed to ripple from the contact. Clearly, he was suffering just as much in his desire and lust as Lawrence had been a moment ago. Leaning forward so that his mouth was directly to the trembling man's ear, the surgeon said:
"I just want to do something for you, Adam. You deserve it. Please."
The younger man made no reply, though he'd obviously heard. He was trembling even more now, and Lawrence knew that his senses were fast-leaving him. Finally, his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut to stop himself from moaning, Adam gave a slight nod and made raspy sound from the back of his throat that could have been an "okay," which Lawrence took as a good sign.
"Okay," the older man said gently, feeling his own voice go husky from the thought of what he was about to do. "Lie down on your back."
Adam gave him an annoyed look.
"I'm sorry," Lawrence said quickly with a small smile. "The rules. I forgot."
"Idiot," Adam muttered, looking away again, and even though it was an insult, it almost sounded loving, like those times when they had been sitting on Adam's couch and Lawrence had said that Johnny Depp was hotter than Brad Pitt, and Adam had said that he was an idiot and smacked him in the back of the head, and then they had started wrestling.
They would pause for a moment, connect their eyes for a brief second, and then Lawrence's hands would be on Adam's face and he would be kissing him with just as much power as he'd been using when they had wrestled a few seconds earlier, shoving his tongue deep into his mouth, and Adam would violently put his hands inside of his shirt...
Lawrence gently raked a hand through Adam's hair, as though he were afraid that he would disappear. Those moments seemed to be so horribly far away now.
"Would you please lie on your back, Adam?" he corrected himself. If he'd said that a minute earlier, Adam would've tortured him with his own desire for showing such defiance. But now, he seemed too anxious himself to think of the fact that Lawrence had broken his rules, so he lay down on his back without argument.
Lawrence gulped as he saw Adam stretched out in front of him. Okay, he would be honest with himself; he'd never done anything remotely like this before. He was used to having... sex. Just that. He had been having sex with Allison because they had wanted a baby, and that was still the kind of sex that teenagers read about in their biology books. The basics of sex. And now, he would...
...He would do it. Period.
Lawrence spread Adam's legs as much a he could in the cramped tub. Then, as if to warm up, he pulled himself up to Adam's lips and gave him the first gentle kiss they had shared for what seemed like an eternity. Then he slid down over Adam's stomach until he was face to face with his still-growing erection. He gulped once again, silently preparing himself, before he hesitatingly stuck his tongue out and drew it over Adam's shaft.
Adam inhaled sharply, but his pride obviously didn't allow him to show too much emotion. Still encouraged by this, Lawrence traced small, light kisses all over Adam's cock, all the way up to the head, and he felt his lover tense beneath him.
Lawrence almost got annoyed by Adam's lack of sounds, especially since he'd moaned like hell when Adam had done this to him.
Yes. Adam had done it. It was before, in a different life, when their love hadn't been this despairing, this infected by old fights and old pain, but Lawrence still remembered how it had felt. And he wanted to make Adam feel the same way. He owed him that much.
Convinced by this thought, he finally opened his mouth and took as much of Adam's penis in it as would fit.
It wasn't like he thought it would be. It was a strange kind of erotica, but anything would be worth it to make Adam feel better. And he did, he knew that. Adam grunted softly above him, still not willing to expose his feelings.
A quick, sadistic thought ran rapidly through Lawrence's mind -- I know how I can make you sound, Adam. Now, show me some of that -- and he drew his tongue over the photographer's erection, wrapped it around him and sucked lightly, and he almost grinned as he felt Adam throw pride to the wind and moan, long and hard, while arching his back.
A tiny bit of cum leaked into Lawrence's mouth. In the position he was in, he could neither swallow it nor spit it out, so he just let it dissolve slowly to the best of his ability. It tasted somewhat bitter, but it also had a pleasant kind of salty-taste to it that appealed to the older man. Adam's breathing was now extremely ragged and fast, and Lawrence could feel the length of the other man shuddering and throbbing in his mouth.
Gently, Lawrence pressed his teeth against the middle of Adam's penis. It was an extremely mild little nip that, if done on any other part of skin, would barely have been felt at all. But the sensitiveness of the younger man's most responsive body-part made a huge impact. Adam grunted, and once again arched his back, treating Lawrence to a second helping of his arousal.
It amazed the surgeon just how quickly Adam's responses were growing. Hell, they were growing faster than his had been, and he had been practically dying in his desire for release. As he continued sucking, and very occasionally, nipping, Lawrence saw, through the corner of his eye, Adam's pale, sweating face, and his hands gripping the edges of the bathtub so hard that his knuckles were showing white through his skin.
This encouraged him, and he began to suck harder and more eagerly. Adam's breathing grew faster and more desperate, and his already-massively-erected cock grew even bigger in the other man's mouth.
Lawrence could feel himself beginning to get somewhat excited, too, although he was still incapable of feeling too intimate in his worn-out state. Adam, on his part, was trembling uncontrollably now, and tiny, hoarse moans were escaping from his lips more and more often, though none so loud and pleasured as the one he'd uttered before.
Lawrence could feel pressure beginning to build up in the younger man's penis, and knew that his lover was on the verge of releasing. He gave one last lick on the base of the head, then pulled out. Just in time. Only seconds after he'd freed him, Adam had moaned, long and hard, and come hopelessly into the bathtub, and a little on Lawrence.
Both men lay still for a few moments, both breathing heavily. Lawrence slowly crawled up so that he was lying beside his lover and put one arm around him, resting his head on his bare chest as he did so. The tub was really too small to hold them both, so Lawrence was forced to lie somewhat over the younger man, but neither cared. Both were far too high and drained to pay much attention to their surroundings.
AW! Look at Lawrence trying to bargain for forgiveness… Anyway, as you might've suspected, there's more smut coming up. And it'd be just swell if you reviewed, so things will be speeded up! We wouldn't want Adam and Lawrence waiting, would we?