Hi everybody! You might've figured out my usual pattern of leaving every chapter right before the good stuff starts, and… Yeah, seems like the last chapter followed that pattern pretty nicely. Well, that's why I wrote this chapter! Because where there's a cliffhanger, there must be sex.

6: Instead of Forgiveness

Lawrence clenched his teeth hard in a desperate attempt to muffle the whimper of fear that escaped his lips. But even with the fear, he felt arousal, too. Oh, God, did he feel it. It was lying in his stomach, crawling up into his chest and making his heart beat like crazy against his fingers, still fumbling to undo the buttons on his shirt, and it was sinking down into his lower regions, making his penis hard.

"And you like it when I'm like this, don't you?" Adam moaned harshly into Lawrence's neck, still running his hands furiously along the older man's chest. "It turns you on, doesn't it?"

Lawrence felt himself shiver at these words. He let his hands drop weakly from his now-unbuttoned shirt, too weak with fear and lust to hold them up anymore. He felt the skin around his neck crease slightly as Adam's mouth, which was still pressed to it, curved into a smirk of triumph.

The younger man ripped his mouth from the other man's neck, pulled him roughly around, so that he was lying on his stomach, and began clawing impatiently at his pants. The surgeon gasped as Adam's fingers wandered daintily along his exposed backside, as though the freelance photographer were claiming that particular body part as his own.

"You've got a nice ass, Lawrence," Adam grunted, beginning to work on removing his own pants. Lawrence could make no reply, other than another whimper, which actually seemed to satisfy his companion more than a proper answer would have, anyway.

It seemed like hours later when Adam had finally torn his own burdens from his body, and was sitting, completely naked, on top of Lawrence, his legs hanging over each side, almost like he was riding. His hand crept slowly under his lover's body and gripped the pulsing erection there that waited loyally for him.

"Fuck..." Lawrence muttered, both from the feeling of the hand on his cock and from the sensation of Adam's rubbing against his back.

"Don't talk," Adam muttered.



His warm breath on Lawrence's neck was enough to make that icy feeling in his stomach get even colder. Along with the lust getting even hotter.

They were one and the same now.



Lawrence nodded. Adam planted that usual, assuring little kiss on the back of his neck, and the older man inhaled subconsciously in an attempt to brace himself for the pain he was so familiar with.



And then, Adam jammed his erection into him.



Lawrence lifted the hand that was on the floor and bit in to it to keep himself from crying out.



Jesus...



"Adam..." he whimpered, in some kind of light-headed, high misery, completely careless about what Adam could do to him for this.



But Adam was actually kinder than usual. He just leaned forward and ran his slim fingers through his lover's hair.



"Shhh," he purred into Lawrence's ear. "I won't rape you. Not now."



No. Adam wouldn't rape him. He'd just roughly thrust himself into him, so hard and so violently that tiny tears would form in his eyes, and he'd bring his teasing hand up and down over his cock, and he'd trace little kisses over his back. And Lawrence would enjoy this just as much as he'd enjoyed the other times.



Adam filled him up again. And Lawrence had to bite down into his hand again.



God. Once he'd been a respectable, rich surgeon, once he'd been a faithful husband and a good father...



And now... He was... This.



Maybe this is the person you've been on the inside all along, that little voice said.



Yeah, Lawrence replied. Maybe. Or Adam's drawn it out of me.



Adam pulled out. And in again. And it hurt. It was a terrible pain, and Lawrence never wanted it to stop, never ever.

As always happened in situations such as these, Lawrence began to lose all track of time. As far as he knew, he and Adam were just in one massive time warp. The only thing he felt was the young man's teeth, scraping gently against his shoulder, his slow but satisfying strokes on his increasingly painful length, and, most of all, his arousal, plowing mercilessly into him, again and again.

Adam had his eyes squeezed shut and was struggling to suppress small grunts of pleasure as he pulled out of his lover, then pushed back in again, growing rapidly in speed and force as he did so. It was so tight, the freelance photographer doubted that he would ever have been able to force himself into such a small opening if he hadn't been so aroused.

Just as Lawrence had predicted, tears had begun to well up in his eyes, and they were running rapidly down his face, mingling with the sweat there. His body was sweaty, too, as was Adam's, but they were so tightly drawn together that that didn't matter.

Adam had given up on planting small, assuring kisses on the back of the surgeon's body. It was all he could do to keep up the hand-job. He felt the body -- the body that was so much bigger and stronger than his -- convulsing desperately below him as its owner attempted to control himself.

It wasn't long before both men felt themselves becoming lightheaded as the blood seemingly left the rest of their body in order to travel down to more important places. Adam moaned as the familiar feeling of orgasm began to fill his body, making him feel dizzy and faint. Lawrence clenched his fists hard as he felt himself completely giving in to the man above him.

Barely a few minutes after he had started, Adam found himself coming hopelessly onto and into his lover, feeling as he did so that there was no better sensation in the world than what he had just felt. Lawrence managed to hold out only seconds after, and within moments had released liberally into Adam's waiting hand.

Lawrence felt, in his blind state of draining arousal and tiredness, Adam slowly climbing off him and lying down next to him, instead. He felt the tiny body pushing itself, almost imploringly, against his own, and the weak arms wrapping themselves securely around his waist. Somehow, the older man managed to drag his own hands, which felt like they were weighed down by heavy weights, up and embrace his lover back, burying his head tiredly into the soft, brownish-black hair that he'd come to love so much.

Okay, the voice said from some place in Lawrence's head, some place that had been able to keep its feet on the ground as the rest of his mind had been turned off to let only the body speak. Now, he won't push you away, he'll listen now, because he doesn't have the energy to do anything else. Try again now. Try.



"Adam," Lawrence said, caressing the kid's hair, and craning his head back to look into his eyes.



"What?" Adam muttered, and lazily swept his hand away.



"I really am sorry..."



Adam cut him off with a theatrical sigh.



"For God's sake, Lawrence, let it go."



"You won't let it go."



"Me?" Adam put his hand on his chest, like he couldn't imagine why Lawrence would say something so insane. "I've let go of it big time. We've already established that you don't mean that much to me, right?"



Lawrence almost smiled. Because he started to see traces of the Adam he used to know return. The pride was a good start. And the fact that Adam refused to admit that Lawrence had hurt him was a sure sign that he was coming back.



"Okay," Lawrence said. "I don't mean that much to you. But I hurt you, can't you at least admit that?"



Adam muttered something and raked his hand through his hair. Then he moved his head a little so that it lay against Lawrence's shoulder.



"Why would you say that?" he said sharply. "Hearing someone you sleep with saying that he'd kill you again is a fucking picnic. You should try it out sometime."



His words were knives that mercilessly buried themselves in Lawrence's chest, because he was right. He was right, and that was what hurt, that was what made Lawrence hear his own words again, in his mind, like too many times before.


"I should have left you there! I should have left your worthless ass in there to rot like it deserved! I should have killed you with that shot! I shouldn't have given a shit when I thought I had! You're less than a fucking insect, Adam! Less than a fucking insect!"


"That's what I'm saying," Lawrence said pleadingly, mostly to drown out that terrible voice that was his and that he never, never, never wanted to hear again. "I said a fucking stupid thing that I didn't mean. At all. And you have to forgive me, Adam..."



"Actually, I don't," Adam said calmly. "I don't have to do anything. I don't have to do you any favors, at least. In fact, I could go to the kitchen right now and get my only good knife, and then come back here and slice your foot off again, and I'd still have a hang-up on you."



Lawrence nodded, in some sort of light-headed, dull understanding. And Adam sat up, leaned over him and took a firm grip on Lawrence's chin to look him in the eye.



"I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to forgive you," he said in a low voice, but still clearly, like the words were carved into stone, carved into Lawrence's heart by a sharp needle. "Ever. And not even you can say that's weird."

Lawrence lay still, his heart screaming, as Adam slowly disentangled himself from the older man and got to his feet, walking stiffly out of the room and into his bedroom. Lawrence had no doubt that the kid wanted to be on his own now, and he wasn't really in a mood to argue, either.

Aw, Adam's such a hard-to-get. Impressive, since he's also kind of slutty. Anyway, please review! It makes my day.