Title: Savin' Me
Rated: M (Mature)
Genre(s): Romance/Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Pair(s): Chris/Phil, Jeff/Adam, Matt/AJ
Summary: Even though Phil passed his public field sobriety test, the GM still stripped him of his title. Humiliated and heartbroken, Phil knows exactly who to blame. Chris Jericho. Can their relationship survive this test?
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. I also don't own the song.
Warning: Slash, Mentioned Alcoholism, Self-Harm
Part: 8/8 - Confessions and Forgiveness
Phil was fully awake and coherent by the time that Chris arrived at the hospital several hours later. When he saw Chris, he bowed his head and diverted his attention to the stark white blanket on the bed. Slowly, Chris claimed the EZ-Chair at his husband's bedside and looked him over once. His wounded arm was stitched and heavily wrapped to ward off infection, but it seemed as if he was able to move it around okay. His hands trembled as he tried to ward off the tears. He hated to seem weak in his husband's eyes.
What Phil didn't understand was that, to Chris, he had never been weak. It had only been a storyline taken a little too far. And over the three hours that it had taken Chris to finally work up the courage to come to the hospital, he had cursed himself over and over for not seeing how much he was hurting his husband. This was Phil. The man that he had sworn to love and protect for the rest of his life. And what had he done? He had driven him to this! He should have never said that he would do this idiotic storyline. He could have saved them both so much heartache.
"Philly." Chris called out to his husband softly and he noted the not-so-subtle tremor that chased down Phil's body at the sound of his voice. "Please, Phil... look at me. I know that we need to talk. But I can't say what I need to say unless I can look you in the eye."
Phil shook his head. "No. I d-don't want to." His hands clenched into fists, and he hissed when it pulled on the stitches. "You're here to tell me how weak I am, right? You're here to tell me what a useless, pathetic man I am. And I don't want to hear it."
"No, Phil. No. You're not useless or pathetic. You have so many virtues, so many talents. I'm sorry that I tried to take those away from you." Chris said.
"What?" Phil's eyes widened, and for a minute, he turned to face Chris. The shock was obvious on his face.
"I said that I'm sorry, Philly. I never meant to hurt you." Chris said honestly.
A flicker of emotion showed in Phil's hollow olive eyes. No matter what the situation, Chris never said 'I'm sorry' for anything. It seemed to strike a chord within the former WWE champion, because he suddenly became more receptive to what Chris had to say. But now, it was Chris that wouldn't look at Phil. He was so ashamed of what he had done. Words just started to pour out of his mouth. He apologized for everything. No incident was too small to mention. Phil was amazed that he could remember half of what he did, because Phil certainly hadn't.
Somewhere in that time, tears had started to trickle down Chris' face. He rocked back and forth in his EZ-Chair, his arms wrapped around his midsection as a way to comfort himself. Phil watched all of this. His eyes never left his husband as confession after confession left his mouth. He told him stories that he had never heard. He answered questions that Phil had asked at the start of their relationship, which Chris had always refused to answer. There was no dark corner to hide behind anymore. Chris bared it all.
Slowly, Phil reached out with his unharmed arm and touched the back of his hand to Chris' tear-stained face. He swiped his thumb over the tears, effectively clearing them from his husband's face. Chris knew how much Phil hated to see him cry, and even now, it was no exception. Chris leaned into the touch, before he gently took hold of the wrist and tilted his head around so that he could kiss the palm of his hand. And for the first time in the weeks since all of this started, Phil offered him a smile. A real smile. And it warmed Chris' heart.
"I'm so, so sorry, baby." Chris fell on his knees beside Phil's hospital bed, kissing every inch of that arm that he could reach. "You don't know how scared I was when I found you on the floor like that. I was so afraid that I had lost you. I should've taken better care of you. I'm sorry."
"Shh, Chris. It's okay. It's my fault too. I should have come to talk to you, instead of taking drastic measures." Phil said.
But it was almost as if Chris didn't hear him, because he continued to babble on nonsensically. "I can relinquish the title. That way our feud can't continue. I would do that for you, baby. I would leave the WWE for you, just so they could never pit us against each other again. Just please, please, never scare me like that again..."
Phil tenderly stroked Chris' soft blond hair. "I know that you would do that, baby. But I don't want you to. You love to wrestle and it would be cruel to take that from you."
"That bastard John Laurianitis tried to take you from me. I can't let that happen." Chris said, tears still slowly streaking down his face.
Phil shook his head. "He won't, baby. I don't want to die. How could I, and leave you behind?"
Chris looked down at his husband's heavily wrapped arm, before his eyes flickered up and finally locked with Phil's. He saw the heated pool of emotion that roamed in those olive eyes. And from that one look, he knew that Phil had told him the truth. He loved him, and didn't intend to leave him anytime soon. In that moment, it was as if a clamp released his lungs and he could breathe easily again. His husband was safe and sound, and according to the doctors, would make a full recovery and could return to the ring in about a month. But he would need anti-depressants and counseling.
"I love you so much, baby. I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I will spend the rest of our lives trying to make this up to you." Chris swore honestly. Phil flashed him a small smile.
"I love you too." He said.
One Year Later
Phil and Chris lay out on the back terrace of the house that they had bought together exactly one month ago. It was located in the heart of Phil's hometown of Chicago, but they also had a home in Canada so Chris could visit with his family. Both had decided to take a small break from wrestling to see the world from a different viewpoint, and next week they would be leaving for a cruise through Europe. They needed time to rekindle their relationship and to celebrate the fact that, after eleven and a half months of counseling, Phil had been released and his medication had been cut in half.
On the recommendation of the counselor, Phil and Chris had adopted a kitten which they named LJ (Lioness of Jericho). LJ was something that Phil could talk to when Chris wasn't around, something that wouldn't judge him for his opinions or talk back to him. And it had worked well. Currently, LJ rested one half of her little body on Chris' stomach and the other half on Phil's arm. She purred contently as Phil reached around to stroke at the soft tufts of fur between her tall ears.
Chris leaned over and kissed Phil softly. "Thank you."
Phil raised a dark eyebrow and turned as much as he dared without disturbing LJ. "For what?"
"For being my husband, sticking by me even though I can be a total asshole, the list is endless... But sometimes, I think you deserve better than me." Phil wasn't the only one who was learning to talk about his emotions.
Phil rolled his eyes. "Don't say that, dummy. If anyone deserves better, it's you."
Chris chuckled dryly. "We're quite a pair, aren't we? We both think that we deserve better. So, I suppose that that means we're perfect for each other." Chris smiled at his husband.
"I concur." Phil answered dramatically.
"You're so weird, Phillip Jack Brooks-Irvine. But I wouldn't have it any other way."
Phil smirked. "That's a good thing, 'cause you're stuck with me."
Chris' smile never faltered. "I don't consider it stuck."
Phil smiled, shifting LJ over so that she fully lay on Chris, and then turned over and buried his face in his husband's neck. The kitten continued to purr contentedly, because their little family had never been more complete then it was in that moment. Chris lazily placed kisses all over Phil's face, from his forehead to his chin and back again. Phil chuckled, wrapping both of his arms around the arm that was closest to him and nuzzling Chris' neck lovingly. Everything was perfect.
"I love you." Chris said, watching as Phil closed his eyes.
"I love you too." Phil answered, before he fell into a light doze, perfectly content with the world.
A/N: Well, that's it. I know it's a little bit shorter than some of my other stories, but I thought that this would be a nice place to end it. So, please remember to review! Thanks for Reading!