I got a PM saying I neglected Guan Yu, so here he is!

Oh, and guess what this title means with the name "Internal Growth". Can you figure it out?

Enjoy!

Birth Throes – Chapter 4 – Internal Growth

Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Lady Mi and Lady Gan watched the Prime Minister pace the lobby. He was shaking, sweating and scared.

"What's with him?" asked Guan Yu.

"Where were you these last three chapters and introduction?" muttered Lady Gan. "Do you even know what's happening?"

The warrior shook his head.

"Even I know more! Brother Guan, you should be ashamed!" Zhang Fei laughed. "Anyway, Zhuge Liang's wanted a son. These last few months he and Yue Ying tried to get preggy, but failed. Maybe one of them are sterile."

"Preggy?" Lady Mi exclaimed. "Zhang Fei, are you drunk?"

"A little bit, but it's my regular level," he replied.

Guan Yu stroked his beard and then continued, "I can understand why the Prime Minister wants a son, but why is he pacing the floor like that?"

Lady Gan replied, "I think they've been trying to achieve conception for five months now. Two weeks after they think Yue Ying ovulated, and well ... yeah, he's sent the Castle Physician Wang to check on her."

"Wang?" commented Zhang Fei. "He's a very eccentric man."

"O, I know," muttered Lady Gan. "He said he detects for pregnancy by taking her urine and testing it for a certain hormone. If it's there, then she's pregnant, if not she's not."

"What a very abnormal man!" exclaimed Guan Yu.

"Do you want to hear some of the past stories?" asked Lady Mi. "This could take a while."

"How long, exactly, sister-in-law?"

"Maybe two hours."

Guan Yu nodded. "Go ahead then."

"You'll love this. Ok, when Zhuge Liang and Yue Ying first tried getting pregnant, they seemed so excited. I wonder why. Well, after that failed, they complained non-stop until the next month, and so they tried again. The second month they were convinced that she was pregnant, but it turns out she had just gained weight. That's a lot of weight. They noticed that she wasn't carrying a child when she had her period two weeks later. O well. The third month it had just failed, the fourth failed, the fifth failed." She took her dear time explaining.

Zhuge Liang had overheard them and then, delirious, said, "Shut up, shut up, shut up. I'm sure of it this time."

Lady Gan sighed. Pointing to Zhuge, she said, "The Prime Minister's been saying that for these six months. When will he just accept the fact that he's no sperm to spare?"

Zhuge Liang, enraged, took Gan by her collar and then, with gnashed teeth, cursed, "If I ever hear you say that or something remotely close to that again, I'll make sure you suffered the same fate as the mother of Dayue!"

Lady Gan, already prepared for that remark, snapped, "Well, if that were to happen, I would have slept with you, now wouldn't I?"

Zhuge Liang already knew more than the truth. "Talk all you like, tramp," he muttered, throwing her on the ground. "Speak again and I will tell the entire kingdom how you feel about a certain drunkard."

Zhang Fei looked around; noticing Mi and Guan were staring at him. Lady Gan turned red in an instant and then said, "He said how I felt about a certain sucker, Zhang Fei!"

"O! I'm relieved." He took a jug of Chengdu's brew and chugged it down.

Lady Gan turned redder and then said to Zhuge Liang, "How did you know?"

Laughing, Zhuge Liang answered, "Well you slut, I recall myself asking myself, "Why does Yue Ying bother staying with you two?" And now, I realize that Lady Mi blurts things about you more than you know Chinese Characters!"

He looked at Lady Mi and bowed.

"Thank you, My Lady," he snickered. "Thank you for letting me know."

Lady Mi gasped. "He's lying! I would never spread rumors about Lady Gan!"

"Oh yeah?" asked the drunk Zhang Fei. "What about the one of her and Zhao Yun?"

"No, that was me." Zhuge Liang smiled. "Try the one of Lady Gan and the midwife!"

"That was me," Zhang Fei laughed. "That got me choking wine out of my nose for weeks."

"Who are you people?" exclaimed Lady Gan. "I don't even know you anymore!"

"You can only blame yourself," Zhuge Liang replied, fanning himself. "And where did I hear the story about you and Zhang Fei? Why, I saw it with my own eyes. It wasn't a pretty sight, but if it's the only one I had, then I would take it."

Zhang Fei hiccupped. "When was that?"

"The night you were drunk and the Castle celebrated Ah Dou's birth. I saw Lady Gan push you into her room."

"How odd," Zhang Fei remarked. "I don't remember a thing!"

"Not after she drugged you, you didn't!" exclaimed Zhuge Liang, smiling at Lady Gan.

"I hate you."

"Yes, we feel the same way."

Lady Gan snorted. "You know if it weren't for Yue Ying, I would care less for you."

"You already do."

"Why you...!" exclaimed Lady Gan. "If you weren't the Prime Minister, I'd have your head!"

"You'd have my wife along with Zhao Yun and the midwife too."

"This is getting interesting," Zhang Fei remarked. "It's a shame Zhuge Liang's a man though."

It was another hour before Physician Wang came out of Yue Ying's room. "Prime Minister, Empresses and Lords," he said. "You had better come. Lady Huang complains of an ailment."

The five stood up, all in shock.

---

When the five reached Yue Ying's room, all but Zhuge Liang found it to seem very haunting. The walls were painted over a fresh shade of sky-blue, little toys and baby materials scattered throughout the room. Of the five, Zhang Fei seemed the most scared. He took his older brother's sleeve and hid behind him.

"All these men are actually women!" exclaimed Lady Mi when she saw Zhang Fei hiding. "What made me force you into my room that night confuses me."

"A lot of things confuse you," snapped Zhang Fei. "What are you straight about?"

"Will you two shut up?" Guan Yu muttered. "And let the other little lady speak?"

Zhuge Liang stepped forward and kneeled beside Yue Ying. "Did he test if you were pregnant before?"

"No," she replied, "Because as soon as he stepped in I started complaining."

Castle Physician Wang sat next to Zhuge Liang and said, "Tell the Prime Minister what you suffer from."

"Well," Yue Ying began, "First things first, I woke up with a powerful headache. Then when I stood up, I felt dizzy and the blood rushed to my head as soon as I did so. After that I decided to go back to sleep and rest again, but as soon as I lied down again, I felt blacked out for a few moments. Then the Physician Wang came in. Oh, this aliment pains me ... like something's growing inside me."

Zhuge Liang seemed to ignore her. "Physician Wang," he said. "What did you do exactly?"

The Castle Physician's eye twitched. He replied, "Did you hear her last sentence, Prime Minister?"

"Even I got that," Zhang Fei muttered, stepping out from behind Guan Yu.

"What?" Zhuge Liang asked.

Yue Ying sat up in an instant, slapped his arm and exclaimed again, "It's like something's growing inside of me!"

Even though she spoke that simply, it was a while before Zhuge Liang answered. "W00t! My wife's pregnant!"

Zhang Fei's eyes widened. He whispered to Lady Mi, "I'm sure I'll never say that."

"That's true," Lady Mi said. "But sooner or later, you'll have a daughter named Li Li, Mei Mei, or knowing you, perhaps Xing Cai."

---

"I'm fine, let go of me!"

"You're not going out to train under your condition!"

"For god's sakes, Liang, I've been pregnant for two weeks! It's not like eight months!"

"So what? If you train now, you'll have problems quitting later. I would rather you stay sleeping all day!"

"Sleeping all day will do me no good, and you know it."

"I meant sleeping and eating all day."

"I am not a baby! And even if I was a child, even they get freedom!"

Zhuge Liang was holding on to her left wrist for at least thirty minutes now. When he had seen Yue Ying walking out with a sword, it meant one of two things. One: she was headed to train, or Two: She was going to kill the Ladies Mi and Gan. Since he had seen Lady Mi and Gan headed up earlier, he was able to rule that out.

He was hesitant to letting Yue Ying train because if she did, there could be a birth defect with his soon-to-be-son.

"Liang, I just want to train just a little bit," Yue Ying whined. "I am to training as Zhang Fei is to wine. It's an addiction!"

"We all quit, for at least a few hours," replied Zhuge Liang. "You know you could damage the child by extensive training."

"The child is nothing but a fertilized egg now," she continued complaining. "One hour. That's all I ask. ONE HOUR."

"One hour is more than enough time to damage is brain and make him mentally retarded." Zhuge Liang, still holding her wrist held out a bow and a quiver of arrows. "You can strengthen your accuracy for these nine months, Yue Ying."

She took the arrows, slightly disappointed, but understanding of her husband's point of view. "Alright. I won't fail you!"