Hey all, thanks for such awesome reviews. You all rock. I am sorry anyone who liked Sarah but the cancer was so strong it couldn't even be surgically removed. Yeah, lets just go with that.

Okay on to another topic that needs discussion. I will try and update as much as I can but I have a summer job in June and this Monday is my b-day so I may not be around too much but I'll do my best.

Ending note cuz story is what you want. Lol.

Gibbs raced down the stairs and stopped halfway. He watched his new agent Thomas Grate standing in front of his desk. He looked agitated. Gibbs smirked as Tim ignored him.

"Dude! Get your ass up already!" Thomas yelled. He was clearly done with the nice guy act.

Tim shook his head. "Chill Tommy" he said finally. Thomas gasped. "Did you…DiNozzo is pulling this isn't he?" he asked.

Tim shook his head. "He only told me your name is Tommy…this used to be my desk kid…just reminiscing okay, I won't hurt anything" Tim said.

"Can't you reminisce later?" Thomas spat.

"Grate!" Gibbs barked. Thomas winced but looked up. "Boss…this jerk won't get up" he whined.

Gibbs moved down the rest of the stairs in a flash and head slapped Thomas.

"I think he already told you why, so go sit at another desk" he answered.

Thomas gaped at him and Gibbs stared. "Yes sir" Thomas replied after a moment of staring.

He moved to the desk behind Tim and Gibbs went to his former agent.

"Comfortable McGee?" he asked and Tim shrugged. "It feels the same…I hate it" he muttered.

Gibbs raised a brow. "Tim…"

Tim shook his head. "I made up my mind boss" he murmured. He stood and looked over the wall.

"Agent Grate" he called and Thomas stood. Tim walked around and held out a hand.

"Sorry we had to meet like this" he said. Thomas took his hand and shook it.

"It's okay…McGee" he said. Tim smiled. "You take care of the team special agent Grate…I just needed to sit a few moments to think…I can't do it though" he said.

"Don't give up McGee!"

Tim looked up to see Tony staring at him with hurt in his eyes. "You can't just walk away again Tim! You're stronger than that!" he added.

"Obviously you never dealt with death Tony…why else would you be so damn insensitive" he muttered.

Tony flinched and raced down the stairs. "You're right…I'm sorry McGee…but come on, you can't run again"

"Agent Grate will be better protection Tony…I will not risk your lives…not with this doubt I have!" he snapped.

Ziva gripped his shoulder. "But you will always have doubt Tim…it is a very painful feeling when you feel lost" she whispered.

Tim touched her hand and rubbed it. "But that's what makes you special Ziva…all three of you are stronger than me" he said.

Before she or anyone else could speak Tim tore away and ran to the elevator.

He stopped a few feet away. "I will not go back to being the hesitant green probie you first met…Burying Sarah was too painful and I can't stop thinking about her…I won't come back…I can't…not now" he said and left.

As he stepped in, Grate ran for it and snuck inside. Tim gaped at him and he shrugged.

"Look McGee…when I started here, it was just a week after I buried my mother…I was a wreck but I needed to work…I needed to save lives since I couldn't save hers"

Tim shook his head. "Thanks Thomas…unfortunately its not the same…I had been with those guys seven years when I left…it's just a different situation."

Thomas shook his head. "Doesn't have to be Tim…" he said and shrugged.

"But hey…what do I know?" he said and then smiled at Tim. "Look Tim, you do what you need, I'll keep the team safe and your chair warm…you ever want to come back and I'm gone" he said.

"Thanks Thomas…you're an interesting man"

Thomas smirked. "I was only freaking earlier because Gibbs scares me…though I don't think I have to tell you that" he said and Tim chuckled.

"You're a good man Grate…I'll think it over…who knows maybe it isn't the last time my butt meets that chair" he said.

Thomas nodded. "Good to hear Tim" he said as the elevator dinged in the garage.

"I better get back…I kinda hope I don't lose my job Tim but as I said, if you want it I won't make a fuss…it was your team first and I bet you'd do the same for me" he said.

"You bet I would Thomas…thanks…see ya" Tim said and walked away.

'Who thought the new guy would be giving the pep talk' he thought amused.

"Nice kid… wonder if he is right? Can I come back to work sis?" he asked out loud.

A wind tickled his hair and Tim sighed. He still had thinking to do.