I'm beginning to think that Nightwing is going to have very mixed feelings about his two friends Kaldur and Roy. This may have OOCness and is probably Canon. *Shrug* Whatever. Hope you enjoy this.
Blue was talking about a friend of his disappearing again, worry dripping from his voice. Wonder Girl was telling him – reminding him really – about what they'd seen in Bialya – all the missing kids they'd returned. His friend wasn't among them though. Also…there were still a few other missing kids that had yet to be accounted for; Nightwing was fairly sure he knew where they were though as he half-listened.
They're gone, he thought a bit bitter about how his team was still behind the enemy. He'd cheered the girls of Alpha Team up mainly because he'd known he would have to. The whole idea of going in to find one thing only to find something else was strangely common with this team, he'd noticed. He was tired of it though.
He wanted answers. He wanted them now.
He wanted Batman and the others back from their court martial hearings so he could at least talk to someone who could – would – be of some help. Given, Bruce would probably come back and end up telling them to 'Do it better' when he found out how very little they'd actually learned.
Conner was watching him again, blue eyes flashing with something as he listened to Blue – when had they bonded exactly? Nightwing decided it was best to give up wondering that. He wasn't really bothering to pay very much attention to how his team was bonding or not. It kind of went along with wanting to not meddling anymore.
He was letting them live their lives now…that's all. He wasn't going to get involved any more than giving simple advice or orders. Really, what else was he supposed to do now that he was Team leader? He was busy corresponding with the other League members on a daily basis, he still had school – he was aiming for college – and then there was the Team's training schedules to keep up with as well as the whole 'saving the world' bullshit they'd thrown their lives into doing.
Sometimes he resented learning about who Bruce was – is – and what that knowledge had done to his own life.
He resented Zucco for killing his family but knew he'd been right in just letting him be arrested.
He resented the fact that he was being forced by some damned farce known as Fate to fight a good friend because Fate had seen fit to fuck with them.
He resented the fact that Roy – another good friend – was searching for a ghost, his wife – Cheshire of all people – helping him exorcise aforementioned ghost.
He resented Cadmus for making the ghost, for making an evil version of Conner, for trying to kill him and his two friends at one point, and for making his life difficult to say the very least.
He resented a lot of things and a lot of people right now and he wasn't completely sure if he had any real justification for it. After all, most of it was something he'd come to expect as a superhero. No one liked them because they made things difficult for the criminals and dregs of society. Hell, no one liked them because of their whole bypassing the law to get things done.
Heroes…not all of them were very likable people.
They weren't real law enforcement so there was no real respect in that trade. The ones with powers were some of the most terrifying people on the planet – or in the universe depending on who you were. Ones without powers weren't really looked up to unless they made a real difference like Green Arrow and Batman – and even Batman was seen as a criminal vigilante for a while there.
Heroes…they were part of a nasty cycle.
Someone feels wronged, wants to change something. They do…and they cause ripples that grow and cause others to retaliate. Batman wanted to clean up Gotham…he started doing it, petty criminals disappearing left and right until bigger, badder, more insane men and women started showing up. Suddenly, there was a buffer for the small timers while well trained thieves and cackling madmen distracted the great Batman.
I started because I wanted revenge for my parents' deaths, for the harm that came to my family, Nightwing thought. Kaldur started after helping his king defeat an enemy and being offered a place by his side as a protégé. What was Speedy's purpose? Why'd he start this life up?
Things had been quiet for the past month or so…Nightwing found it unhelpful though. Quiet meant he was alone with thoughts and memories. Lately…the star shaped scar on his side had begun to hurt more often than not. It wasn't all his fault though; he'd been stuck thinking about Kaldur and Roy for the past month because Conner's burning eyes only reminded him of them and why he was stuck thinking this way.
"Team! Time for dinner!" M'Gann chimed from the kitchen. Nightwing watched as the others moved towards the dining table that had grown over the past five years what with the growth of the team. He joined last, not really caring that he probably should have been at home in Gotham with Tim and Alfred who were probably done with dinner by now and moving on to the usual nightly routines.
Nightly routines. He needed some of those right now. Something to take this edge off. Something to distract him. Something…normal and trustworthy.
Dinner went by quickly enough, Nightwing managing to not bolt his food so he could change into his uniform and head off to Gotham for a roof top run – or seven. He didn't really listen to the others speaking, Blue dismissing himself early so he could go home, M'Gann getting Garfield to bed, the others scattering more or less uniformly after that. He left easily enough, in uniform, Conner's eyes flashing at him.
Normal nightly routines…much easier said than done. There's a sign that he's in trouble and naturally, he barrels in to check it out. He's alone because Batgirl and Robin are on their own side of town. He didn't mind being alone…though, it seemed to be getting dangerous to do so lately what with his fucked up memories.
Petty criminals…simple thieves…he could deal with them easily. They were never a real problem. Sneak into a shadow, say something to the effect of saying 'boo, I see you' and then slam them into a countertop, tie them up, and leave. He was done in what felt like seconds, the grappling line lifting him to a roof top.
"Damn…If only Red would keep up with his training," a smooth contralto voice chuckled.
"Cheshire," Nightwing snarled, escrima stick at hand and ready for an attack.
She laughed, her mask hiding her face and distorting her voice a bit. He let his knees bend as his shoulders tensed, his hands gripping the stick in a white knuckle hold. Thank god for the black gloves on his hands.
"Oh calm down," Cheshire sighed with a dismissive wave.
"Where's your husband?"
"Babysitting."
"Why're you here?"
"Wanted to talk to you…Wanted to assure you that this ghost is going to get exorcised one way or another. I'm planning on making sure of that."
"Whatever; get out of Gotham before I kick you out."
"Considering the fact that you've kept up with taking care of yourself, I may actually take that threat seriously." He could hear her smirking before she leapt from her perch and flipped into a landing in front of him. He fell deeper into a defendable position.
"Get away from me Cheshire," he warned.
"I didn't come to fight," she said. "Let me just talk."
"Don't want to hear it."
She lifted the mask up to reveal her face was still in that sad, accepting, understanding expression. He could feel her pity for him rolling off her in waves. He didn't really want pity at that moment.
"You're fighting a demon too," she said softly. "Just like Roy."
His eyes bugged for a moment, his grip on the escrima stick loosening for a moment before he shook himself and lunged at her. Her brown eyes widened in surprise before she dodged, leaping into the air like a bird. It wasn't a bad spar in retrospect; she was good, well trained, well-practiced, and very attentive to her opponent. He hit her as many times as she hit him. They blocked each other and missed each other equal amounts. However, she managed to slam him into a wall hard enough to make his ribs yell 'stop' and she disappeared.
Typical.
Just like smoke…just like Kaldur…just like Speedy…just like the ones who'd gone to fix what'd happened five years ago. Everyone around him seemed hell bent on disappearing like smoke.
No one lived forever and no one stayed around for forever.
Everyone moved around. Time never stopped. Never could stop it.
"Leave me alone."
Crashes. Banging. Thuds. Ringing pain.
Catwoman was good; real good. However, she was hardly a problem at the moment. The scratches she'd given Nightwing a few nights before were though. Bane was pretty huge and for his size, he was fast. He wasn't alone either, his usual little goons running about.
Bane was slamming Wonder Girl and Superboy away like they were rag dolls as Nightwing pulled himself out of rubble – again. Robin and Batgirl were pulling themselves out of rubble as well, hands at their heads. Miss Martian was floating about invisibly while Beast Boy ducked about, nipping at Bane's ankles.
"Stupid perro," Bane growled before kicking Beast Boy away. The green dog yelped in pain, soaring through the air until Robin caught him. The two crashed into a set of containers, wood exploding everywhere. Nightwing heard Miss Martian shoot towards Bane more than he actually saw her.
Typical.
Telepathic and she couldn't think before acting – not that he was one to talk.
She was tossed aside like a rag doll too; Nightwing was ready for the opening. He tossed a sharp edged bird-a-rang, happily cutting the tube of venom into two parts. Venom spewed everywhere as Bane cried out as if he'd been tortured. Miss Martian let her hood fall to her shoulders, her eyes wide in slight horror, Robin was frowning, Batgirl doing the same, Superboy and Beast Boy looked slightly sick as Bane fell to his knees screaming.
Nightwing was standing next to him.
"It's over Bane," he growled.
Bane glared at him and tried to lunge. A swift kick to the jaw sent him reeling. He tried again only to receive a punch. He fell back.
"Stay down Bane," Nightwing commanded. Another glare and the electric brass knuckles were on in seconds.
Charge. Swing. A cry of pain as lighting lit up the massive body. A growl. Another swing. Another scream of pain. He wanted to hit him again. He wanted to hit Bane as hard as he could. Pretend he was Superman and be able to do real damage.
"Nightwing, stop!" Conner yelled, a strong arm wrapping around Nightwing's body as he pulled him back, away from a very much unconscious and twitching Bane. Robin and Batgirl were staring at him in horror, Miss Martian and Beast Boy doing the same only with more of a wary overtone. Conner was giving him a confused horrified look.
He'd over stepped a boundary. He knew that much. Conner had pulled him back from an edge.
"What were you trying to do Nightwing?" Conner yelled.
"Knock him out," Nightwing muttered. "It worked now let go of me."
"It looked like you were trying to kill him!"
"He wouldn't think twice of doing it to one of us!" It wasn't much of a lie. Bane had tried to kill Batman on multiple occasions. Most of the people they fought would prefer them dead rather than running around and messing up their plans. He'd been thrown off more roof tops than he could count.
"We're not him!"
Nightwing gave him a glare. "You've made your point Superboy. Now let go of me."
"Superboy come on," Robin said. "We all need to cool down a bit; that's all."
"A bit? Try a lot! He could have killed him!" M'Gann cried, her hands gripping Gar's shoulders protectively. The boy looked at his adopted sister and then to Nightwing. He saw his fear and felt a shudder run through his spine.
"Just let go of me," he muttered again. Conner glared at him but did as he asked, a small shove added to the release. Nightwing's feet stumbled a bit but he recovered. Stowing the knuckles, he watched as Batgirl and Robin managed to calm the other three down a bit, telling them the past week had been hard on them in Gotham and they were a bit stressed.
His grappling hook hissed as he fired it.
He was beyond a bit stressed. Tula's funeral was playing on a never ending loop in his head. Kaldur's betrayal and pained face followed that every so often. Then there was Roy's face, so empty, his tone saying he too had given up.
"I'm just a cheap knock off."
"You're the only Roy we know!"
He barely managed a landing, grunting as he hit the roof top a little harder than he'd planned. Who was he kidding; he'd hit it harder than he'd hoped he would.
"You used to treat your body like a temple."
"My body's no temple."
Nightwing was fairly sure it'd been Roy who'd said that…Why'd it sound like he was being judged then?
"I'm in the best shape of my life."
"Really?" A few disappointing seconds later. "That was me holding back; way back."
Nightwing pushed himself to his feet and began to work his way back home. He needed to sleep and he needed to sleep badly. Maybe he'd wake up in the right sleep cycle this time and feel refreshed.
Fat chance.
The remaining Leaguers were all giving him worried looks lately. It bugged him. He'd been stressed, he'd said. He hadn't been sleeping well, he'd said. He wasn't going to be feeling better if they kept staring at him like he was going to explode at any time was what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell them all to fuck off.
He couldn't though. That'd just make them all stare at him with more worry. They'd even try to talk to him more often. Canary would try to tell him everything was alright, that he could talk to anyone. No…actually, he couldn't talk to just anyone. He wanted to talk to Batman but he was halfway across the galaxy in a court martial for being a suspected intergalactic terrorist.
He didn't really want to talk to anyone else about how he felt, why his side seemed to hurt all the time, why he actually felt like letting Batman's iron fisted rule book go flying out the fucking window of the jet. He didn't want to reveal how he felt about things or events. He actually had a feeling he didn't want anyone thinking he was a complete idiot who was letting his feelings, his emotions, get the better of him.
He could almost hear the Joker laughing at him now.
"These scratches are looking a bit better," Robin managed to say as he put on new bandages.
They were in the med-bay of the Cave and they were making sure that Catwoman's scratches weren't getting infected or widened from the job – Nightwing had refused to miss out on usual patrols for a few scratches.
"Good," Nightwing murmured, his tone oddly gentle as he pulled on his shirt, the blue bird on his chest making him suddenly proud he was no longer the Boy Wonder. It was a freeing concept to not be called a boy anymore.
He had no idea when he started hating being called a boy but he did now. It seemed demeaning now that he'd reached his late teens, that he was almost as tall as Batman. Maybe it was partly to blame on the fact that he was still the one with the most training in the team, he was nearly twenty, and that he was being trained by the best damned detective in the world.
"They're not infected or anything which is good…they're going to close up soon too by the looks of it."
"Thank you Robin," he sighed with a bit more of an edge to his voice. Robin blinked and gave him a worried look. "Sorry…I…Haven't been sleeping very well – again."
Robin frowned. "I noticed; you talk in your sleep…loudly."
Nightwing glared but finished settling his shirt and making sure his mask was completely on before leaving the room. He had training sessions today – L'Gann was sure he was going to beat him one day and he was going to prove him very wrong. Though, with the way he was fighting lately maybe it would be best to have Canary do training exercises for a while?
Yeah…it would be better. He'd just have to put up with the stares.
He circled to his dorm and quickly called her up, saying he didn't think his stress levels were anywhere near stable enough to do even training – not with L'Gann and his ego at least – and that it would probably be best if she took over training again. She said she'd be there in a moment and thanked him for giving her a straight reason. In truth, he'd given her a half truth. He was more than likely going to do something stupid on that platform and Connor was busy with Sphere and Wolf in the hanger.
Connor wasn't due for training today.
Lucky damned bastard, he thought bitterly.
The thought began to sink in slowly and Nightwing felt his eyes bug. He'd never thought that way of a teammate before. Not even of Kaldur or Roy when they basically defected. He'd never thought ill of others unless they deserved it. Usually that was the villains he faced, the ones who gave him crap first, the ones who tried to kill him. Those were the people he should be harboring feelings for. Not his team. Not his extended family.
He closed his dorm up, locked himself in, and sat on the bed horrorstricken. He was losing his mind. That had to be it. He was losing his fucking mind. It was bound to happen sooner or later with his lifestyle so it shouldn't have even come as a surprise. All these years…it was probably happening to him sooner than it had to Bruce. Maybe it was just because of what all was going on? That couldn't be the only reason though.
The door began to shake as someone banged a fist against it; hard.
"Nightwing! Get out here!"
Conner…Perfect. Just what I don't need.
"Hey Fearless Leader, come on out," Conner yelled before Nightwing opened the door and yanked him inside. "Touchy."
"What do you want? Other than alerting the entire Cave to my whereabouts?" Nightwing snarled.
"I wanted to know why it was Canary doing practice instead of you."
"I'm not feeling stable enough to not do something stupid," he found himself admitting as the door hissed closed for them. Conner gave him an anxious look which made his nerves twitch and fire off in rage. "Don't give me that look Connor."
"How else am I supposed to look at you? You sound insane."
"Oh thanks for that vote of confidence!"
"You do though," Connor muttered. "You sound absolutely insane what with all this talk about being unstable and the like."
"You've been getting better at talking like normal people Connor; congrats. Now…get out of my dorm and let me sleep."
"Sleep…right. Not happening."
"What?"
"Mission…Didn't you hear Red Tornado and Canary yelling for the computer to turn off the alarms?"
He hadn't. He really hadn't heard them; he'd been so lost in his thoughts. What was happening to him? He'd never missed an alarm before.
Losing my mind.
"Where?" he asked, trying hard to sound on top of himself.
"We're going to Metropolis…though, Red said something about this involving one of your problem children."
"I'm sure he used those exact words too," Nightwing muttered sarcastically.
"What's up with you? You've been touchier than usual."
"Maybe because I'm not getting enough sleep?"
"I was just asking."
Simple missions were a thing of the past apparently.
Kaldur – of all the people in the world, it had to be him of all people naturally – was helping smugglers in Metropolis Harbor and had plenty of back up this time. There was no way the Team could be made of all of two people, a super Sphere, and a genetically enhanced wolf. This was a full Team deployment. Everyone had to do something this time.
Nightwing wasn't all that sure who his 'problem child' was but he was sure they were going to be well equipped for this fight.
They usually were.
Alpha Squad was already working on giving them a hole to move through, silently dispatching men – even with Wonder Girl's help it was silent. She'd been learning. Gamma Squad moved in second oddly enough and were working on disabling the ship being used. Others were scattered about to do their own things – Superboy was technically supposed to have Wolf and Sphere with Nightwing but the latter had damn near snapped and had enough sense to get away from them before he really did.
It hadn't taken long for Kaldur to show his face, shouting orders to the crew to get a move on and that they had to hurry unless they wanted company. Too late. They had company and it was planning on keeping them there. Even though Nightwing's side stung sharply at the sight of his friend, he didn't let on that it was. He was on a mission after all; he had no time to be showing weakness or pain. Maybe he would when he was thrown into a wall but until then he wouldn't.
He was slipping across the bow silently when a dull thunk caught his attention. He ducked behind a wooden crate as a door opened, someone with indistinct features exiting and wandering about. His eyes narrowed behind the mask he wore as he watched a rope swing about the person's fingers like they were playfully flipping a can about in an old comedy show. All they were missing was the top hat and the tailed tuxedo coat. Maybe tap shoes too.
The person turned a bit to reveal the rest of the rope. Nightwing's breathing hitched when he saw the hangman's knot that sat like lace ruffles at the man's neck, the noose looped about the slender appendage as if it were a necklace. The man's face looked a bit distorted thanks to the mask he wore but Nightwing could recognize him now; Scarecrow.
Fuck…not him…not now, Nightwing thought almost desperately as the man wandered up and down the bow. His earwig crackled to life.
"Who's the nut with the noose around his neck?" Lagoon Boy asked like he was unimpressed.
Will you please use the telepathic link? That was Miss Martian. She sounded irritated.
Sorry Angelfish…He sounded abashed. Seriously though who is that guy?
Did you say he has a noose on his neck? That was Robin. Nightwing could feel his apprehension. Batgirl felt the same. Nightwing bet he was exhibiting the same unease. Why wouldn't he though? This was Scarecrow and he was losing his damned mind lately.
Yes…who is he? Lagoon Boy again. He seriously sounded like he was unimpressed with the man on the bow. What a mistake.
That…Batgirl this time. That is Scarecrow. Steer clear of him…Nightwing…Where are you?
Shut up…shut up…shut up, Nightwing chanted as he hunkered down, his eyes fixed on the man nearly dancing in front of him.
Where are you? Robin and Batgirl chorused.
What part of shut up was unclear?
All of it. Superboy was in now. Great. Where. Are. You? His punctuated words actually hurt, Nightwing's head was beginning to ring.
You see the crate behind him?
Yes. He seemed exasperated with him.
I'm behind it.
Nightwing! Robin again. He was panicked. Why was he panicked? Look out!
There was a hiss, a cloud of gas. Nightwing gasped – stupid – and shot backwards. Scarecrow cackled loudly as Nightwing started to choke on what had just scorched his throat. He heard running footfalls – metal encased footfalls. He dove off the ship into the water, hoping it'd be enough.
What the hell did he just do to you? Lagoon Boy again, Nightwing could barely see him in the murky water. He didn't remember Metropolis' harbors being quite this dirty.
A finned hand landed on his shoulder as he was putting in a breather. His blood froze, his head turning to see something that was most definitely not his teammate. He struck out, the thing faster than him in the water. His breather was gone, his lungs burning. He shot for the surface.
Nightwing! Stay calm…let Lagoon Boy get you! Robin again. He didn't sound very calm.
He popped out of the water under what looked like a wood port, gasping and heaving for air. His arms wrapped around a stand, holding it for dear life. Lagoon Boy…no way was he alright with that thing in the water. No way in hell.
I'm not getting him! Lagoon Boy. So he was okay? Why did he sound so irritated?
You have to! Batgirl again.
He tried to hit me! Lagoon Boy, his voice distant.
He what? Couldn't tell, too soft. Sounded female though.
It's the..! You have to get him out …; we've got to…Cave to make…
Nightwing hugged himself to the stand his breathing getting a bit more erratic as he heard another splash in the distance. There was more cackling too. Had to get of the water. Had to. Whatever it was that he'd seen, it didn't seem friendly. He had to get out of the water. The cackling he could deal with. He didn't have a breather anymore. Cackling he could deal with; that was on dry land – hopefully.
Something caught his ankle. It pulled. He cried out before he was yanked under, mouth filling with water. He struggled, forcing himself to look back. He instantly wished he hadn't.
A delicate hand was holding his ankle, pulling him down with a white knuckle grip. Atlantean markings raced up and down pale arms that were turning a ghostly yellow and green and maybe even blue. Oh they were definitely bluer than anything else; possibly even fucking lavender in this murk. He'd seen bodies that had been underwater for a while; they always looked like that to him. Another hand clawed its way up his leg, pulling him down further. Finally he began to see red hair floating in the water's currents.
Ghostly green eyes stared blindly up at him.
"Why did you let me die Nightwing?" Tula asked, her mouth turning into a sharp toothed roar.
He screamed.
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