AN: So, if I lived in California, this would totally still be on time. However, I live on the east coast, so it's technically right now 37 minutes late. Ooops. I tried. This is also the longest chapter I have written so far. I had a really hard time figuring out what i wanted to do all week since my last post, and this all just kind of popped out at the last minute. So, that being said, it is very rough. I haven't even proofread it yet, so I'm sure there are mistakes galore. I apologize, but I wanted to get it out as soon as possible since I promised.
Disclaimer: As you probably already know by now, I am not JK Rowling, I do not have a castle, and I do not own Harry Potter or any of his world.
James flew out of the door of his Charms class the moment that Professor Flitwick dismissed them. He fought through the swarms of people heading to the Great Hall for lunch, his mind completely focused on a red-head who was lying in the hospital wing. All morning, James had been unable to keep his thoughts from wandering to her. In Potions they had been brewing the Amortentia potion, and for the rest of his morning, he could not get the scent of vanilla and honeysuckle out of his head. He knew it was all Lily, and the scent hung around him, befuddling his brain. He had knocked over his cauldron of Amortentia and he wasn't quite sure what they were supposed to have been doing in Charms. He had anxiously been waiting for this moment since he had left her in the hospital wing earlier that morning.
And yet, as he neared the door to the hospital wing, he slowed down. He felt a sense of dread coming over him. What if Lily hadn't woken yet? What if she wasn't ok? Bludgers were heavy; he knew the force that was behind them. In his third year he had been hit in the back with one while he was trying to score against Slytherin. He had spent a very uncomfortable night having the bones in his back mended. But he hadn't ever seen anyone hit with a bludger in the face. He knew Madame Pomphery was supposed to be an excellent healer, but he also knew there were floors and floors of patients at St. Mungo's that even the most skilled healers couldn't cure. Magic, as great and useful as it was, couldn't fix everything.
James stood transfixed in front of the door, trying to stir up that Gryffindor bravery that was supposedly lurking inside of him somewhere, but he couldn't stop the panic from rising within him. He felt panic that Lily hadn't woken yet and panic that she had and she was angry with him.
"Are you going in?" asked Hannah from behind him. He could see her red-rimmed eyes and knew she understood how he was feeling.
"Yeah," he said quietly, holding the door open for her. She glided past him through the door but then walked slowly down the aisle between the rows of beds. He knew she could sense it, the way that one glimpse could forever alter the course of their lives. Once something is known, there are no fantasies, no hopes, no dreams. There is only fact, cruel and tormenting, if the worst was to happen.
"I had a feeling you two would be back as soon as classes let out for lunch," said Madame Pomphery in a controlled voice. Her face was a carefully blank mask as she walked out of her office.
"How is she?" asked James, wincing as the words erupted from his mouth without much thought. He wasn't sure he wanted that question answered.
"The arm and leg on her left side were both fractured, so I mended them quite easily. But her cheek and forehead on that left side is extremely swollen. I'm afraid she's still unconscious, Mr. Potter," said Madame Pomphery in that same controlled voice.
"Will she," said Hannah quietly, trailing off with a frown.
"I'm not sure, dears. We'll just have to wait and see," said Madame Pomphery clinically.
"Can we see her now?" asked James, unable to keep his voice steady. He tried to clear his throat, but it seemed permanently clogged.
"Of course," said Madame Pomphery, gliding down the rows of beds to stop at one with a white curtain pulled around it. She pulled back the curtain and there was Lily, looking extremely small with the sheets pulled up to her shoulders. She lay rigid, unmoving, with her eyes closed in the bed, the entire right side of her face swollen and covered in a giant black and blue bruise.
"I have some things to take care of, so I'll just leave you with her," she said, pulling up two chairs beside Lily's bed with her wand before hurrying off to her office.
"Lily," said James quietly, his voice breaking. He stroked her healthy cheek, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. "Come back to me."
"I can't believe this is happening," sobbed Hannah, collapsing on one of the chairs beside Lily's bed.
"At least you made up with her before she," he said miserably, his voice trailing off, "I was so mean to her, and that might be the last," said James, his voice breaking horribly as he stared at her face, those sparkling, lively green eyes covered by heavy eyelids.
"She has to wake up," said Hannah. "She's going to wake up. And then you'll be able to apologize."
"I hope so," said James miserably.
James took Lily's small hand in his and sat down beside her, drawing his chair closer to her. Hannah and James were silent as they sat with their heavy thoughts weighing them down. It seemed like hours passed as they sat there, swamped in their grief, but James knew it was only a half-hour before Madame Pomphery returned.
"Why don't you two go get some lunch and then go to class," said Madame Pomphery kindly. James blinked away the tears that were filling his eyes, feeling extremely embarrassed.
"I think I should stay here," said James, squeezing Lily's hand.
"Me too," said Hannah.
"Alright, let me put it this way. Go get some lunch right now and get back to class, otherwise I won't let you visit for the rest of the day," said Madame Pomphery firmly.
James stared at the healer for a second to gauge her sincerity. When he saw a steely look on her face, he got up, squeezed Lily's hand one more time, and tucked it in the blankets with promises to return as soon as classes were done for the day. He walked to the hospital wing's door with Hannah beside him and gazed once more at Lily's pale, small figure before he headed into the hallway.
Instead of heading to the Great Hall for lunch, Hannah walked quickly back to the Gryffindor Tower. She felt numb and barely focused on the corridors that she was walking down. Her thoughts were still with Lily, back in the hospital wing. How could she have ever suggested that Lily try out for the Quidditch team when she knew her fear of brooms? Hannah stood in front of the portrait of the fat lady for a few minutes before she remembered that she hadn't said the password.
Hannah climbed the stairs to her dormitory slowly and plopped onto her bed face-first, dissolving into sobs. She clutched her pillow tightly and felt her body convulse with sobs. She had never been in this situation before. She had never had to worry like this about someone she loved.
Hannah heard footsteps climbing the stairs and she tensed, trying to silence her sobbing. She only managed to muffle them with her pillow. The door open and she knew that whoever had just entered could hear her. They paused in front of her bed and hesitated a moment before coming towards her.
"Hannah?" asked Carrie hesitantly.
Hannah just continued to sob, unable to speak, not knowing if she really wanted to anyway.
"What happened, Hannah?" asked Carrie, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling back the hair that was covering Hannah's face.
"It's Lily," said Hannah, gasping for breath.
"What terrible thing did she do now?" asked Carrie angrily, her posture going rigid. Hannah felt hot rage sliding through her and she sat up jerkily, pushing Carrie's hand away from her as she glowered at her.
"She got hit in the head with a bludger and now she might not ever wake up again," Hannah shouted at Carrie.
"What?" asked Carrie, her face looking frozen. Her hand was still hanging in the air between them.
"Oh, I thought you'd be happy," snapped Hannah bitterly.
"How can you say that? She's my," said Carrie, her eyes filling with tears.
"Don't you dare cry, Carrie! Not after everything you did," said Hannah, flinging herself off of her bed and streaking to the door.
"Hannah," said Carrie sadly, tears running down her face. Her eyes were pleading for comfort as she sat staring up at Hannah in horror.
Hannah turned away, walked out, and slammed the door behind her. Hannah knew it wasn't like her to act like this. It wasn't like her to yell and scream at her friends. She usually glossed over everything, smoothing out the rough edges so that everyone would feel better. But she didn't want to do that now. Right now she just wanted someone to stand still so that she could hurl something at them. She wanted to focus on anger, because feeling the gut-crushing guilt and sorrow that had come over her was too much to handle on her own.
James thought about following Madame Pomphery's orders. He had even decided that he was going to follow them as he walked out of the door of the hospital wing. But instead of walking to the Great Hall as she had instructed, he found himself walking down the corridor that lead to the Head common room. He paused briefly in the doorway to his room before he made up his mind. Whatever the consequences, he needed to be with Lily.
He dashed into his room and rifled through his trunk to find his cloak and map. The cloak he found easily, just under a few layers of t-shirts and socks. But he couldn't find the map. If he was going to sit behind the curtain with Lily all afternoon and night, he would need to have the map to see when Madame Pomphery was coming, so that he could slip the cloak back over his head. He rifled through his things once more before he remembered that Sirius had borrowed it on Friday before the party so that he could sneak into Hogsmede for the Butterbeer and Firewhisky.
Gritting his teeth and looking down at his watch, James stuffed the cloak in his back pocket and hurried out of his room, running down the corridors towards the Gryffindor Tower. Luck was with him, and as he arrived in front of the Fat Lady, Sirius was just leaving the common room with Remus and Peter on either side.
"Black, I need the map," hurled James as soon as Sirius began walking towards him. He wasn't particularly happy with Sirius at the moment, and he didn't want Sirius to think he was ready to be friends again.
"It's in my trunk," said Sirius tonelessly.
"Well, can you go get it?" asked James impatiently.
"Prongs," growled Sirius, annoyed at the way James was talking to him.
"Go get it now!" bellowed James.
"Alright already," said Sirius, shooting James a glare before he turned and walked back into the common room.
"Prongs," said Remus tiredly. He looked awful, and James tried to remember when the next full moon would happen. He had lost track over the summer.
"Hi Moony," said James, calming down slightly. Remus's presence generally did that to him.
"I know you're mad at Padfoot, but don't be so hard on him. He's trying to make up for it," said Remus patiently.
"There's just too much going on right now, Moony. I can't deal with this right now," said James wearily, running his hand through his hair, nerves dancing off of him. He couldn't stand each second that he stayed away from Lily.
"Is everything ok, Prongs?" Remus asked soothingly.
"No, Moony, it's not," said James, trying desperately to not let his grief show. He held himself rigid and stiff so that he wouldn't start crying in front of his friends.
"What happened?" asked Remus gently.
"It's Lily," said James, pausing so that he could take a deep breath. He could feel that his voice was about to crack and betray just how much was going on underneath his carefully controlled mask.
"What did she do this time?" asked Remus, allowing a slight bit of frustration to creep into his tone.
"She got hit with a bludger, Moony, right in the face. She's unconscious. She hasn't woken up yet," said James, unable to keep his voice from breaking. He was mortified to feel a trickle of tears fall down his cheek.
"Whoa, I've never seen anyone take a bludger to the face before! Did her head nearly come off?" asked Peter excitedly. James glared at him and Remus shook his head violently at Peter, glancing at James to make sure that he wouldn't lash out.
"Does Matthews know?" asked Remus suddenly.
"Yeah, she was there with her when it happened," said James, sniffling as inconspicuously as he could and looking away so he could covertly wipe under his eyes.
"Here's your bloody map Potter," growled Sirius, thrusting the parchment towards James. Then he noticed James's red eyes and miserable expression. "James, what's wrong?"
"See you later, Moony, Wormtail," called James, striding back down the corridor.
"Wait, Prongs!" shouted Sirius, but James kept on going, making his way to the hospital wing. Right outside the door, he paused to check over the map. Madame Pomphery was still in her office. James slipped the cloak over his head after he made sure that the hallway was deserted. He then carefully crept into the hospital wing, making sure that he opened and shut the door very slowly and soundlessly. He crept past Madame Pomphery's office and slipped into the curtained-off area around Lily's bed.
James went immediately over to where Lily lay in the bed. Her eyes were still cold, and the bruise on her cheek and forehead had darkened to a deep purple and black color. He sat down on the edge of her bed and kissed her cheek, finding the hand that he had tucked into the blanket exactly where he had left it. He held her hand for a long time while tears trailed down his face, begging her silently to wake up.
"Hey, Matthews," said a voice coming from down the corridor as she walked past the hospital wing to her next lesson. She had spent the past few minutes in Myrtle's bathroom, crying and alternately conjuring china plates that she could hurl against the wall. Myrtle had had a wonderful time teasing her for it, until she threw a plate through Myrtle's head. Myrtle had dissolved into sobs of her own, and Hannah had to leave as the sound was deafening. She peered in at the door to the Hospital Wing, realized that she couldn't see Lily's bed, and hurried on. Madame Pomphery was a serious woman. She didn't say anything she didn't mean. So Hannah was startled when she heard the voice, but even more startled when she saw who it was.
"What do you want?" growled Hannah, quickening her pace.
"I just," Snape said, faltering. He looked extremely uncomfortable. He kept shifting his gaze to either side of the corridor, probably making sure none of his Slytherin pals were around, "Is Lily ok?"
"What does it matter to you?" she asked angrily, feeling as if she was about to hit Snape. Hexing him wouldn't do, she wanted to feel him crumple under the weight of her own bare hands.
"I, I just," said Snape, glancing down the halls and spotting Avery and Dolohov, "wanted to know if the world would be rid of one more Mudblood. That would certainly be reason to celebrate." His eyes looked panicked and full of misery. Hannah had always been extremely perceptive, and she had known for a long time that Snape still had feelings for Lily. But she also knew that he was a slimy git who had been sucked into the group of the pure-blood elitists.
"You're vile," said Hannah. "And even if Lily does wake up, she still hates you."
Hannah took one satisfied glance at Snape's hurt face before walking quickly down the corridor to her Transfiguration lesson. She itched to punch him, but she knew that he wasn't really worth the effort. Even still, she couldn't help thinking that when Lily woke, and she refused to believe that she wouldn't, she would love to watch Snape's face as he saw Lily and James kiss.
"Matthews?" said a voice as an arm grabbed her just outside of the transfiguration classroom.
"You better get your greasy hands off of me," she said angrily before she turned and saw Remus standing beside her. "Oh, it's you Lupin. I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and tried to calm her anger.
"Are you alright?" Remus asked in a concerned voice.
"Um, not really," said Hannah quietly, feeling tears fill her eyes again. She felt so stupid breaking down in sobs again. All morning she had felt way too over-emotional. She started crying at anything.
"Do you want to skip?" asked Remus, eyeing her patiently.
"Alright. I'm sure Lily will wake immediately to yell at me when she hears I did," said Hannah with a watery smile as Remus led her down the hall.
"Why don't you go to the Room of Requirement? I'll be there in a couple of minutes," said Remus.
"Where are you going?" asked Hannah.
Remus just smiled at Hannah before he sped off in the opposite direction.
"She's right through here, headmaster," said Madame Pomphery, her heels clicking against the wooden floor. James jolted awake, his heart pounding. He had been sitting next to Lily, holding her hand for quite a while before he started to feel how much the panic that morning had exhausted him. He must have drifted off shortly after.
Now he scrambled for his cloak, which was lying on the floor beside Lily's bed. He tucked it over himself feeling some of the panic subside. He still needed to remain alert and make sure that no one bumped into him. He had no doubt that if Madame Pomphery caught him, she would definitely kick him out of the hospital wing for the rest of the day.
"And she has not woken yet?" asked Dumbledore as Madame Pomphery pulled the curtains back. James saw a worried look over his lined, ancient face.
"No, headmaster. I'm not sure that she will. Perhaps we had better send her to St. Mungo's?" asked Madame Pomphery. James felt a new panic come over him at her words. He didn't like the idea of being so far away from her, and being unable to see her each day.
"Not yet Poppy. I have every confidence in you, and I don't know that there's anything more that the healers at St. Mungo's could do for her. I think it's best not to move her," said Dumbledore, looking around the curtained-off area, his eyes resting on James for a moment. James was sure that Dumbledore couldn't see him, but it still unnerved him that there was a possibility he had.
"Thank you, Albus," said Madame Pomphery graciously, her eyes shining.
"Poppy, I am going now to speak with her parents and inform them of the situation. I thought a note by owl might be a bit cold, especially in these circumstances. Would you mind getting me a cup of tea before I go?" asked Dumbledore kindly, his eyes twinkling.
"Of course, headmaster. I'll be right back," said Madame Pomphery, her heels clicking on the floor as she walked to her office.
"Hello Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore quietly as soon as they heard the door to Madame Pomphery's office shut. James jumped and stared at Dumbledore in disbelief.
"How, how did you?" asked James in disbelief.
"Oh, I can't see you through your invisibility cloak, Mr. Potter. I just had a hunch that you'd be here," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling.
"I'm sorry, Professor, I know I shouldn't be here," said James apologetically. He wondered how much trouble he would be in now, but realized that he didn't really care. He knew he had done the right thing.
"It's alright, Mr. Potter. I can't say that I really blame you," said Dumbledore. "Some things are worth the consequences."
"Consequences?" James asked hesitantly.
"Oh, I'm not going to tell Poppy that you're here, as long as you promise to go to all of your classes for the rest of the week," said Dumbledore kindly.
"Thank you, professor," said James.
"Well, I must be off. Remember what I said, Mr. Potter. I know it might be hard, but you must go to your classes. Miss Evans will have a fit when she wakes and finds out that you've been skiving off lessons," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling as he closed the curtain back around Lily's bed.
Hannah sat on the couch in the Room of Requirement, flipping through a book that she had pulled from one of the shelves. She tried to read but her mind was too preoccupied. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to think about Lily and the possibility that she wouldn't wake, but she couldn't stop her brain from spinning in that direction. She kept wondering what she would do if the worst were to happen. She, Lily, and Carrie had always planned to get an apartment together after they graduated. Things had been bad between Carrie and Lily lately, but she always thought they would get over their issues in time. She tried to calm herself down, tried desperately to focus on the blocks of text in front of her, but her brain wouldn't cooperate.
Feeling anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness coming over her in a wave, she dissolved once more in tears, feeling completely stupid. She picked up the book and hurled it across the room just as the door opened. The book just missed Remus's head and smacked against the wall beside him with a loud thud.
"Was the book really that bad?" asked Remus as he walked in the door with a large sundae clutched in each fist.
"Hi Lupin. I'm so sorry," said Hannah, blushing madly as she stalked across the floor and picked up the book.
"It's ok, Matthews. I understand. I've used this room to vent before," said Remus kindly, placing both ice creams on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"You have?" asked Hannah, wiping the tears from under her eyes. She almost laughed at the picture of Remus chucking books across the room. The picture didn't seem to fit.
"Yeah," said Remus uncomfortably, "but that's not important now. How are you doing?" he asked as he sat down on the couch.
"I don't know, Lupin. I'm just really scared," said Hannah, sitting on the couch and hugging her knees to her chest to cover the tears that were still running down her cheeks.
"Hannah," said Remus tenderly, placing his hand on her shoulder. A jolt of warmth spread through her shoulder and traveled down her body at his touch. She looked up at him with wide eyes, tears still falling down her cheeks. He looked at her with concern clearly written on his face. He traced his thumb gently under her eyes and wiped a tear away.
"Remus, it's all my fault," said Hannah miserably when he looked away for a second.
"Hannah, how is that even possible?" he asked quietly, putting his arm around her to comfort her.
"I was the one who convinced her that she needed to join the Gryffindor team, Remus. I knew she was afraid of riding brooms and I still pushed her. Maybe there was a reason for her fear," said Hannah miserably.
"No, Hannah. When Lily got over her fear, she loved flying. It was an accident that she got hurt," said Remus, tightening his grip on her shoulders and pulling her close to him. She could smell a slight hint of a nice soap smell as he pulled her to his chest. She focused on the scent, trying to block all other thoughts out.
"Remus," Hannah began. She pulled back slightly and stared up into his eyes.
"Yes, Hannah?" asked Remus in a whisper.
"Do you want to spend some time together tonight? I mean, we don't have to do anything special. We could just do homework. It's just, you make me feel better," said Hannah. Something in Remus's eyes flashed after a second of them staring at each other. He began to pull back.
"Um, I can't," he said quickly.
"Oh, um, alright," said Hannah, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Oh, our ice cream is going to melt if we don't eat it soon," said Remus, letting go of Hannah and turning to his ice cream.
"Oh, yeah," said Hannah, turning to her ice cream, a blush rising over her cheeks.
"Prongs?" James heard a voice say as he sat beside Lily, holding her hand. Lily still hadn't woken yet, and as the hours stretched on, he became more and more worried. Fifteen minutes ago, it had been time for classes to be let out for the day, so he had exited the hospital wing under the invisibility cloak and walked back in uncovered.
"James?" whispered Sirius's voice again. James could just make out the bottom of his sneakers in the space between the end of the curtain and the floor.
Sirius pulled back the curtains around Lily's bed and strode across the space in between him and James. He had a frown on his face and he glanced at Lily briefly before he focused back on James.
"I'm really sorry, Prongs," said Sirius, sitting down on the chair next to James. James remained silent, feeling tension welling through him. His mind felt too full to think about Sirius too.
"I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but when Moony told me about what happened," said Sirius. He trailed off and cleared his throat. He glanced again briefly at Lily's small body swamped in the huge white sheets. "We've been best mates for a long time, James, and I always said I'd be here for you when you need me. I'm just keeping my promise."
They sat in silence. James marveled for a moment at the fact that Sirius was able to sit so quietly for so long. James glanced at him several times, wondering if it was driving him crazy. He could see little inklings that it was. Sirius kept jiggling his legs up and down and shifting his position on the chair. He was playing with a bit of string hanging off his robes.
"You know you don't have to sit here with me, Sirius," said James. The tension had remained in the room through the silence, and James had remained silent until he couldn't bare it anymore.
"What? No, I'm fine," said Sirius, glancing briefly at James. He stayed still for a minute before he began swinging his feet back and forth and playing with the string on his robes again.
"Pads, come on. I know you better than anyone else. I know you can't stand sitting here in silence," said James. James himself was starting to get tired of the silence. He was still really sad and really worried, but sitting and moping just wasn't something he did. He liked to be around people.
"Well, alright, it is kind of making me want to tear my hair out, but I'm just trying to show you that I care about you," said Sirius.
"I know you do, Pads," said James. He glanced sideways at Sirius before turning back to Lily.
"Do you want to talk about her?" asked Sirius.
"Not really, Pads. I, what've you been up to lately? I haven't seen you around a lot," said James, tired of being upset.
"Well, I was teaching Evans to fly on a broomstick," admitted Sirius hesitantly.
"You what?" asked James, turning to glare at Sirius. A sort of frenzy came over him as he thought about Sirius and Lily spending time with each other. James should have been the one to teach Lily to fly on a broomstick, not Sirius!
"Well, Matthews gave her the idea that she could win you over if she made the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She asked me to teach Lily," said Sirius.
"So this is all your fault!" screamed James.
"What? No! No, it's not James! She wanted to do it!" said Sirius defensively.
"Yeah, but you just went along with it without thinking, just as you did when she kissed you!" growled James, anger flashing through his eyes.
"Hey, the two things are completely different! The only reason I agreed to help Lily was so that you two could finally get together and you would finally get off my back for something that wasn't my fault!" said Sirius.
"Oh, yeah right, Black! You were just trying to spend more time with her! You like her, too!" shouted James, jumping out of his chair and advancing to where Sirius was sitting.
"You're a bloody possessive git, James! I don't want your stupid girl!" screamed Sirius, jumping up too, his chair falling over and smacking against the ground.
"Don't call her stupid, you wanker!" shouted James.
"You're just attacking me because you know you don't have a shot with her!" said Sirius.
"Yeah, Black? Is that so? You know she only kissed you to make me jealous. She wants me! But you, have you ever even kissed a girl that wasn't completely smashed? They can't stand to be near you for more than it takes to kiss you and realize even that was a mistake!" said James acidly.
"You're a bloody arse James! Why don't you just spend the rest of the night mooning over your poor unconscious girl by yourself? I knew you would forget all about the full moon tonight. Don't worry, Wormtail and I will take care of it," growled Sirius, ripping back the curtain and striding towards the hospital wing doors.
"Black you're a," shouted James, breaking off as he saw Madame Pomphery running out of her office.
"What is going on here, boys?" asked Madame Pomphery sternly.
"Nothing," both boys said at the same time.
"I expect it to be quiet in here! If you can't keep your voices down then I will have to kick you out! I have sick patients who are trying to rest," she said sharply and shot both of them a glare before she marched back to her office.
Sirius slammed the door behind him and James stomped back to Lily's bedside, fuming. It was true that he had completely forgotten when the full moon would happen. He had just had a lot on his mind lately. Although he didn't like the idea of leaving Lily, he knew that he would have to go soon. He couldn't leave Sirius and Peter to watch Moony themselves. Although he was so mad at Sirius that he told himself that he didn't care what happened to him, he knew it wasn't true. Through everything, he still cared about Sirius, the irritating git.
At four-thirty James knew that he had to leave Lily to find the rest of the Marauders. He was dreading spending a whole night away from her. What if she woke up when he wasn't here? He wouldn't find out about it until the next morning, and he would have spent the whole time worrying for nothing. Sighing, he kissed Lily's health cheek and squeezed her hand.
"I'll be back tomorrow morning, Lily. Please get better," he said, his voice breaking once more.
With one more look at her face he walked out of the hospital wing while he still could. If he stayed any longer, he wouldn't be able to leave. He walked down the corridor toward the Gryffindor tower, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Lily. He hurled the password at the Fat Lady and walked across the common room.
"Potter," said a female voice behind him. He turned to see Hannah standing behind him.
"Hey Matthews," said James.
"Are you going to visit Lily tonight?" she asked.
"No, I was just there. I have plans tonight," said James regretfully.
"Is there some secret Marauder meeting tonight?" asked Hannah curiously.
"Um, no, Hannah. I just need to get my Potions book back from Peter. He borrowed it," James said distractedly.
"Oh. Alright. Well, how's Lily?" asked Hannah.
"Um, she's no different," said James, edging away from her.
"Is something wrong, Potter?" she asked. He was acting very odd.
"No, why would you say that? Everything's fine. Um, I gotta go, Matthews. See you later," he said, walking quickly up the steps to the seventh year boy's dormitory.
"See you," said Hannah in confusion at James's strange behavior. She walked slowly out of the common room and headed to the hospital wing to spend some time with Lily.
James, Sirius, and Peter crept across the silent and darkening expanses of the grounds surrounding Hogwarts. There was a brilliant sunrise in the sky above them, but none of them noticed it. James was brooding about being away from Lily and feeling anger coarse through him as whenever Sirius called attention to himself. Sirius was alternately wondering if Lily's accident was his fault and thinking that James was a stupid prat, and Peter was just thinking about a girl that had smiled at him in the halls earlier that day.
They reached the edge of the forbidden forest and stepped just inside the shade of the trees. They transformed into their animagus forms quickly and silently. Usually they spent this time laughing and joking and coming up with pranks, but everything was tense now. James's hooves slapped the ground as they stepped out of the cover of the trees. James ran to the whomping willow and stopped just out of range, waiting for Wormtail to hit the knot in the tree so that they could get Moony. As soon as the tree stopped swaying, he ran to the tunnel, enjoying the feeling of the wind against his fur. The trip was too short for him to relax, but he told himself that as soon as they let Moony out, he would have plenty of time to loose himself in the feeling of the wind rushing around him, his hooves beating the ground, and the exertion he felt in his muscles.
Moony was restless when the rest of the Marauders reached him. There were several more long scratches on the walls than the last time, and he had completely destroyed the pillow that they had left in there for him at the end of the previous year. There were feathers all over the floor, and several in his fur. As soon as Moony saw them, he chased after them doggedly. James had to turn right around and run back down the tunnel as soon as Moony caught sight of him.
They spent several hours running through the forest. James almost enjoyed it, but every time he felt himself begin to relax he would think about Lily. He was anxious to get back to her, and he had already decided that as soon as he got back into the castle he would go to visit her. He knew he would be exhausted, but he felt anxious to be with her.
Sirius had stayed on the other side of Moony the entire night. James was glad. During regular nights when they weren't in a fight, James and Sirius usually raced each other, had contests to see who could jump higher, and played catch with pine cones and rocks that they found in the forest. But tonight, both were too angry. They ignored each other, and Wormtail kept scurrying back and forth between them in confusion.
In the middle of the night, all of a sudden Moony howled at the moon and took off in the opposite direction from James, Sirius, and Peter. James and Sirius tensed, running as fast as they could after him. They could tell that Moony was filled with determination and they were filled with horror, wondering what he was running towards. When they were five feet away from Moony, they suddenly saw what had caught his attention. There was a cluster of people standing in the forest. James and Sirius didn't have time to focus on what they were doing in the forest, or what they were saying. They had to stop Moony before he killed someone!
James pushed himself faster than he had ever gone before. His muscles screamed in protest as he drew level with Moony. He pushed himself again and darted in front of Moony just ten feet away from the group of people. Moony lashed out at James with his claws, and, too exhausted to move quickly enough to avoid it, they ripped through his shoulder. He gritted his teeth in pain but danced back and forth in front of Moony, trying to distract him. Each time his hoof hit the ground he felt a tearing pain in his shoulder. He wondered if the people were doomed. Moony didn't seem to be able to be distracted.
Sirius grabbed a stick in his mouth and hit Moony on the back with it. Moony glanced behind him, and James took the opportunity to dart to the other side and kick Moony in the other side. Moony glanced over at him and advanced toward him. James began running away from the group of people, but he felt his leg give way underneath him after only a few strides. Moony was still advancing on him, his huge claws gleaming in the moonlight. James lay in the grass, trying desperately to scramble to his hooves and run away.
When Moony was only a few feet away, Sirius jumped in front of him and used the stick to rap him on the nose. Moony turned toward Sirius and began following him. James lay in the grass for a long time, panting and begging the pain in his shoulder to go away. He kept telling himself to get up. Sirius and Peter probably needed him. But his shoulder didn't seem to be able to bare any of his weight anymore.
James didn't know how long he lay there before he saw Sirius loping back to him through the trees. Sirius transfigured back into his human form and walked up to James where he lay in the grass. Peter was right behind him; already back in his human form.
"James? Are you alright?" asked Sirius. James just blinked at Sirius as he couldn't talk in his animagus form.
"He can't answer you, Pads," said Peter, rolling his eyes.
"Right. Well, you'd better change back to your human form so that we can take you back to the castle," said Sirius.
James nodded his head, which felt extremely heavy all of a sudden, and he focused on changing back into a human. With a gasp and then a scream, he changed back into his normal self. His shoulder felt like it was being pulled apart when he transformed. Sirius was beside him in a second, reaching down to help him up. James didn't bother protesting. He was in too much pain to care that he was mad at Sirius.
"What are we going to tell Madame Pomphrey?" asked Sirius as he guided James through the forest.
"Ugh, I don't know," said James. "Maybe it's not so bad. I probably don't need to go see her."
"Really?" asked Sirius, poking James in the shoulder. He screamed as pain shot through his shoulder.
"Alright, Padfoot. You didn't have to do that!" growled James. He was sweaty and he felt awful.
"Sorry. So, what are we going to tell her?" asked Sirius.
"Cat scratch?" asked Peter.
"Do you see the size of that scratch mark, Wormtail? There's no way she'd believe us," said Sirius. James would have laughed at how logical Sirius was acting, but he was in too much pain.
"There's no way to avoid getting into trouble, Sirius. Why don't you and Peter go to bed, and I'll go to the hospital wing by myself. I'll say that I wandered into the forbidden forest in my sleep and was attacked by one of the creatures in the forest. I'll say it was so dark I didn't see what it was," said James.
"Psh, Prongs! We're Marauders! Since when do we care about getting into trouble?" asked Sirius.
"Um," said Peter uncomfortably.
"We don't care Wormtail!" said Sirius pointedly to Peter. He quieted down instantly.
"What did you guys do with Moony?" asked James.
"We led him back into the Shrieking Shack and closed off the tunnel behind us," said Peter.
"He was really bad today. Do you think something's going on?" asked James. Moony was usually more restless as a werewolf whenever he had something he was upset about in his normal life.
"I don't know. He doesn't really talk about things that bother him, does he?" asked Sirius. They were nearing the front doors of the castle now, and Sirius opened the door for James and Sirius.
"No," said James thoughtfully.
"So, do you think we should tell anyone about the group of people in the forest?" asked Peter after a long pause. They were walking as quietly as they could down the corridors now, hoping to not get caught by any of the teachers.
"We didn't really see much of what was going on. We don't really have anything to tell," said James.
"But with You-Know-Who out there, don't you think we should be careful?" asked Peter after another pause.
"Psh! I could take him!" said Sirius arrogantly.
"Sure you could, Pads," said Peter, rolling his eyes.
They were now standing in front of the doors to the hospital wing and they became silent. The door was locked, so they were forced to knock on the door and wait for Madame Pomphery to open it for them. She stood in the doorway and glared down at them. Her hair was sticking up all over and she had a robe on over her pajamas. James could just make out hearts and lips on her pajama bottoms and he almost began laughing.
"What are you doing here at this time of night?" she asked sharply. Sirius and Peter pushed James into the light of Madame Pomphery's wand and she gasped as soon as her eyes fell on his blood-soaked shirt.
"Um, my shoulder," began James.
"Come in, Mr. Potter. What happened?" she asked as she ushered him in and over to one of the beds closest to the door. She flicked on a light over the bed and cut his shirt with her wand and began examining the wound.
"Um, I was attacked," said James hesitantly.
"By what? Where?" asked Madame Pomphery, waving her wand by his wound.
"Um, I'm not sure what I was attacked by. There are all sorts of things in the forest," said James.
"The FOREST! And what were you doing in the forest in the middle of the night?" asked Madame Pomphery angrily. She stopped working on his shoulder and glared at him.
"I was," began James. He was trying to think quickly about what to say to Madame Pomphery, but his brain wouldn't come up with anything. She was staring at him expectantly. She probably wouldn't believe anything he said now that he had paused so long. But just as he was about to say the first thing that came to his mind, a piercing scream shattered the quiet of the Hospital Wing. It was coming from the opposite side of the room.
"Stay here, Mr. Potter," said Madame Pomphery, lighting her wand and striding across the hall. James didn't listen. He followed her to the curtain that was surrounding Lily's bed. Madame Pomphery pulled back the curtain and there was Lily, sitting up in bed, an alarmed look on her face.
James was so overcome with joy at seeing her awake that he bowled past Madame Pomphery. He ran to Lily and hugged her. She screamed again and James pulled back, staring into her terror-filled face. Tears were running down her face and he didn't understand what was happening.
"Lily, it's alright. Everything's fine. You're fine," said James, his voice bursting with happiness.
Lily screamed again and beat at his chest with her fist. He jumped back as her fist hit his shoulder.
"Why did you scream, Miss Evans?" asked Madame Pomphery in concern.
"Where am I? Who are you?" she asked backing into the bed as much as she could.
"Lily, it's me. James," said James, walking towards her slowly. She backed away with a terrified look on her face.
"I don't know you! Get away," she said.
"What's happened, Madame Pomphery?" asked James in horror. He stared at his Lily, who was trembling and clutching the blankets to her chest.
"It seems that she lost some of her memory, Mr. Potter. At least some of it. Maybe it would be best if you just went back across the room to a bed. I'll try to talk to her," said Madame Pomphery.
"But, Lily," said James, "you don't remember me?"
"No," she said, trembling from head to foot.
"Mr. Potter, please," said Madame Pomphery sharply.
"But maybe I can talk to her," said James.
"Go! Now!" Madame Pomphery shouted. Lily jumped at the loud voice and burst into tears.
"Alright," said James, and he walked numbly back across the room to sit on a bed, wondering if he would ever have his Lily back.
AN: Well, thanks for slogging through that really long chapter! I know, I was surprised when it turned out as long as it did, because originally I was struggling with only 7 pages written. As always, a review would be greatly appreciated! In fact, I finally realized what a jerk I've been and in the next week I fully intend to reply to all of the reviews. Sorry it's taken so long!
Anyway, I will try very hard to get the next chapter up next Wednesday! Good night and happy fanficing!
Love,
Littlemisskrissy