Chapter Two:

What Have I Done

all good things now come from you,

I hope you feel the way I do

She spent lying in her very empty and unusually uncomfortable bed. Lauren decided there was nothing worse than having a good long sleep and waking up just as exhausted as when you went to bed. It seemed easier to be awake if you knew you were sleep deprived. Especially if you had stayed up all hours, surviving only on caffeine and sheer will.

But knowing that you should be well rested, and waking up deeply asleep, felt like it was killing a part of you, as well as it ruining the rest of the day. Lauren sighed. It also made it almost impossible to climb out of the bed and be active.

She lay underneath the sheets and blankets for a while longer, looking up at the ceiling with her eyes flicking to the clock at every odd moment. It would eventually get to a time where there was no possibility in procrastinating the inevitable. Eventually she would have to get out of bed and begin her daily ritual.

Ten minutes passed all too quickly.

Without care, Lauren pushed herself to climb out of bed, make herself some coffee and have a shower to wake up some part of her, believing that it was dread that weighed down her body.

But as she had her second cup of coffee, dressed and got ready to leave, she knew it was more than just dread. She hadn't really slept, just held herself on the brink of sleep, tossing and turning as she thought about Bo. Who knew a single woman could have such an affect on her? Especially at this age. It was like being a teenager again.

Granted, Bo wasn't just a woman, she was a succubus and she did make Lauren feel much younger than she was. The woman caused her to feel alive whenever they stood in the same room, regardless of anything that was happening.

Shaking her head, she decided that today she needed to keep busy. No calling Bo and finding herself too dumb to speak, or worse, too overwhelmed with words that she would ramble and tie herself up in knots. She would call later, to assure Bo that she'd left the night before because she was tired, and to not take it personally.

But that would happen later, much later, when her mind would be filled with so much information from her day of work that her thoughts would barely be able to string more than a few simple sentence together.

And hopefully those sentences would be: Bo, hey, about last night - I was really tired after work and everything else. I honestly didn't mean to leave on such short notice. But We should catch up, okay? I'll talk to you later then.

Satisfied with the plan, she climbed into her car and filled her mind with what she needed to do in the lab. But as pleased as she was that she made up her mind with what she was to do/needed to be done, she didn't take into consideration one vital flaw in her plan: Bo didn't follow plans, least of all, hers. She didn't even follow a well constructed script that Lauren would carefully plan out in her head before she went to talk to her.

So when she finally arrived at the clinic, Bo was there, not following her plan and most definitely not following the script Lauren had plotted for the phone call later that evening. "Doctor Lewis," the succubus teased, leaning against a metal bench.

"Are you okay?" Lauren asked immediately, placing her laptop down onto the closest desk before walking over to Bo. Her eyes ran all over the woman's body, scanning it for anything that might suggest harm done, but eventually it was obvious that Bo was in no danger and had been waiting for her to arrive for a whole other reason.

"I'm fine." Bo smiled at her, her fingers twitching as she hesitated over/about grabbing Lauren's hand. There were moments when things were easy between them and just felt natural. Then there were moments like this when easy couldn't be used in any shape or form.

Lauren felt her shoulder relax at the knowledge of no imminent crisis. Her body though, still remained extraordinarily tense. With Bo here, there were a lot of feelings that ran through her, along with thoughts that followed these emotions. Between those feelings, her thoughts and the two of them standing across from each other quite awkwardly, the room's tension was thick enough that it needed Bo's sword through it.

"So, how are you?" Bo asked awkwardly. They stared at each other before laughing. Of all the things to ask, that, along with the weather, showed exactly how awkward the two of them felt in the room.

"I'm well," Lauren replied as the tension appeared to simmer. "I'm sorry for leaving last night, I was-"

"Whatever Dyson said, it doesn't matter," Bo jumped in, "I mean, he can be an ass sometimes - I think it's to do with him being such an alpha… But it doesn't matter, okay?"

Lauren couldn't help but feel something warm blossom within her at Bo's words. The care Bo showed for her in that moment was something Lauren felt she should treasure. Mostly because she couldn't help but note that when things appeared to be going well for them, something terrible happened and then they weren't talking to each other.

Usually it was her fault for not being upfront about personal facts and Bo's stubbornness that kept them apart, but the statistics remained strong and against them.

Breathing in, Lauren smiled, "I wanted to talk to you last night, but when I tried, you seemed to avoid it."

Bo dropped her eyes, her lips pulling in into a defensive, mask of professionalism. "I...I was hoping we could avoid this conversation for as long as possible," Bo replied. And there it was. The thing that would pull them apart yet again. Lauren flinched before turning away to avoid herself looking painfully at Bo. She hadn't expected such a brutal response from the woman.

"Okay," she managed, "I..." she shook her head. "It doesn't matter then." Instantly she snapped a mask over her expression and watched as Bo's face contorted into mass confusion.

"Lauren...?" she whispered.

"It's okay, Bo," the doctor reassured, more to herself than to the woman staring at her, "we can just continue and..." she trailed off and turned around, feeling her hands twitch with the need to busy themselves. She didn't know where the two of them could go from this. If Bo didn't want to talk then how long could they carry on, dodging around the topic of how they felt? Because as much as she loved Bo, and it ached sometimes how much she loved her, Lauren knew that she deserved more than unrequited love.

All the courage to say those words was lost. She was too scared to lose Bo. Even though the idea of loving and not being loved hurt more than she currently could bear, the thought of losing Bo completely, watching her fall in love with someone else, or return to Dyson, hurt more. What have I done to fall so hard for you? she asked herself, searching for an answer.

"Lauren," Bo said, grabbing her shoulder, forcing her back. "Look, I know that you have to leave and I know that you'll want to do it soon, but can we just wait on this conversation? I mean, I don't know...I know what I want but...I don't, you know?"

Frowning, Lauren looked Bo over, "what are you talking about?" she asked softly.

"I mean, if you were to ask, I think I would and Kenzi and I discussed what would happen and she'd follow me and I know that-"

"Bo," Lauren stepped closer, almost ready to reach out and pull the woman to her. The pain in her body had softened immensely and began to instead swell with hope. Quietly, staring at the worried expression on the succubus, she wondered if what Bo had wanted to avoid talking about wasn't what she was wanting to talk about. "Bo, do you...?"

Bursting at the question, Bo rushed, "Remember; I promised that it was you and me, and I meant that, I do, I honestly do, but you know this is the first place that I've been living at for so long and it's my home and-" Lauren felt herself grin, unable to help herself as she grabbed Bo's body and pulled her into a deep kiss. Breathlessly, Bo went still with shock, unsure of what was happening before she lifted her hands to Lauren's face and returned the kiss.

It didn't matter why it was happening… just that it was.

When Lauren pulled back, grinning freely at her, Bo finally asked, "What just happened?" There was no denying how deeply confused she was. After all, before Lauren had looked like she was ready to kick Bo out and now she was looking like she wanted her on the bench with no clothes on. Not that she minded the last part, at all, just that the flick was confusing.

"I'm not leaving, Bo."

"What?"

"I'm not leaving and I'm not asking you to run away with me."

"Then what-"

"Shh. Can we just...not, right now. I was going insane thinking that you didn't want to talk to me for an entirely different reason," she explained briefly, "but it doesn't matter." Kissing her again, she pushed Bo back against the bench. Everything was just better in that moment and she didn't want to talk in the least.

Feverish with emotions, she ran her hands down Bo's body, slipping down to her waist. There were things that should be said, that she wanted and needed to say to Bo, but all that could wait. Hungrily she began trailing her lips down the succubus's throat and felt as the brunette moaned beneath her mouth, "God, I must have done something right," Bo whispered as her eyes rolled back.

"Yes," Lauren breathed out hotly before she ran her teeth over Bo's neck, feeling the succubus' pulse against her tongue. "You have no idea how much it meant to me, when you said that." She felt Bo force her jacket off and drop it down beside them. Pulling back, Lauren lifted Bo onto the bench before she grabbed the woman's lips again and kissed them furiously.

Bo fingers trailed down Lauren's arms as her own jacket was removed and dropped beside the brown one. It wasn't until Lauren climbed on top and straddled Bo that the succubus realized just how thankful Lauren was for what she said.

Pulling away from the blonde's lips as she ran her hands up the her shirt, Bo inquired, "Just what did you think I was going to say?"

"Bo," Lauren said pulling away. Immediately Bo wanted the lips to go back to kissing down her body as Lauren's hand began working the black shirt off. "Can we talk about this later?" the words were said so gently that Bo immediately felt like she was pushing Lauren again.

"No, yeah, sure. That's- oh," she sighed as Lauren's hands immediately tugged at her pants. "I should admit that I want to runaway with you more often," Bo said as she rolled back and arched her hips, waiting and wanting for Lauren to strip her bare so she could return the favor.

Lauren didn't hear what Bo had said; too distracted with what she was going to do to the woman beneath her once she got the damned clothes off. Burying her fingers under the seams, she gave the pants a tug and was in return, rewarded with the sight of Bo's bare thighs. Satisfied, she brushed her fingertips over the succubus' hips and watched the skin shiver welcomingly at her touch.

"Lauren," Bo almost moaned out, caught off guard by one of Lauren's hands rising very quickly up her shirt, "I hate to ask," she said before inhaling a sharp gasp as Lauren lips trailed over her ribs.

"Mm?" Lauren questioned, the sound humming through Bo's body as her tongue continued to dart out over the taught muscles of the succubus' abdomen.

Bo took a second to compose her thoughts, hoping the answer wasn't what she suspected, "how-how long until other people start, ah, coming into the lab?" she asked in the middle of deep moan as Lauren began to tug as the bands of her underwear. The blonde paused at the question and Bo almost wished she didn't ask if the answer hadn't been so necessary.

Pulling her head away, Lauren looked at the time and dropped her head with a sigh, "five minutes," she breathed out. Pulling away, she climbed off and immediately blushed, "I ah...sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't apologize," Bo said earnestly, "Believe me," she chuckled, "you have no reason to apologize. Maybe we could find a utility closet together and continue where we left off?" Lauren hummed and nodded vaguely, feeling embarrassed about being overcome by desire. "So ah...what are you doing tonight?" Bo asked as she bit her lip briefly and redid the buttons of her pants back up.

"Tonight?" Lauren asked, her mind staggered with the haze of what just happened. "I-ah, working I think?" she said before nodding, "I'm getting everything ready for when the new Ash comes."

"Oh, okay, of course," Bo laughed. "You're busy."

Lauren's smile faded at the soft tone of hurt that etched over Bo's face, "you should come over tonight," she said without thinking. Realizing what she said, she quickly added, "for dinner."

"For dinner?" Bo echoed.

"Yes," she concluded, quietly adding to herself but I won't be hungry.

"I'd love to."