AN: So I was all set to get this in on time, before two weeks were up, but I had some technical issues with the website! I'm sorry and I promise that I am committed to finishing this story. I'll keep this short so you can get to the story. See you at the end!
I don't own Harry Potter, if I did, I wouldn't have eaten a peanut butter sandwich for dinner for the fourth night in a row tonight.
"Oh, Lupin, hi," said Hannah with a cheery smile on her face. Carrie raced back over to Hogsmede as soon as she hung up her costume, but Hannah decided to take a short nap before going back. She still felt slightly sick, with a queasy stomach and a bit of a headache, but she decided a nice day out in the sunshine would make her feel better than holing herself up in her bed. She had just exited onto the grounds of Hogwarts when she saw Remus a little ahead of her.
"Oh, Matthews, good to see you," said Remus, turning around towards her but not looking directly at her.
"I haven't really seen you in a while. How is everything going?" asked Hannah. She kept glancing over at Remus and frowned when she saw him looking at everything else but her. They hadn't really talked since before Lily woke up, and she could feel awkward tension in the air between them. Last night Hannah tried to spend time with Remus, but he ran off after dinner, and although Hannah went after him to try to find him, she couldn't find him anywhere.
"Good, really good," he said, looking in the opposite direction of Hannah, pretending to be interested in watching the leaves blowing across the lawn.
"So are you going into Hogsmede?" asked Hannah, wondering why Remus was acting so strange. Had she done anything to make him mad?
"Yeah, I'm meeting Peter and Sirius for some lunch," said Remus quietly.
"Oh, I'm meeting Carrie for lunch," Hannah offered.
An awkward pause settling between them, and Hannah tried to ignore it and wait for Remus to say something, but he didn't. He just kept walking along in silence, looking anywhere but at her. Hannah was normally a calm, rational person. She was used to quiet, and actually preferred it sometimes, but after a few minutes, she couldn't stand the silence anymore. It wasn't just the fact that there was silence; it was the fact that the silence was so strained and tense.
"Is something wrong, Lupin?" asked Hannah suddenly.
"Wh-what?" asked Remus nervously, looking just above Hannah's eyes.
"I thought we were becoming friends, Lupin," said Hannah, unable to say what she really thought, which was that she thought he liked her and they were going to get together, "and now it doesn't seem like you want to talk to me."
"It's not that I don't want to talk to you. I think you're really nice, Matthews, I just," said Remus, faltering in the middle of his sentence, not really sure what he meant to say. He didn't want to send her away; he didn't want to stop being friends with her. He didn't want to stop whatever was happening between them, but he needed to, it wasn't right. He couldn't do this to her, to become closer and closer to her all the time knowing that she wouldn't want to be friends with him if she really knew him. If she knew what he became once a month, she would run in terror.
"You don't have to say anything more, Lupin. I, I have to go. I forgot that I need to go back to the costume shop to get some things for my costume. See you later," said Hannah quickly, rushing down the street toward the costume shop before Remus could see her miserable expression, or the tiny tears that were spilling down her cheeks.
Remus sighed in frustration and watched Hannah walk away from him for a minute. He hated to see her go, hated that he had hurt her, but there really wasn't anything he could do. She would hate him if something started between them and then she found out. Hannah would find someone else, someone who could give her what he couldn't.
James was up a second after the chaos erupted and, before Lily could even process what was happening, he was running down the street toward the action. Lily stood where she was, feeling rooted to the spot. She watched as James got closer and closer to the smoldering costume shop, the screaming and wailing people who were searching for their loved ones, and the black-cloaked figures who were shooting curses at inconsolable witches and wizards who were standing over the injured. Lily felt trapped in the misery, the terror, and the panic, unable to think clearly. And then she saw a black-cloaked figure shoot a curse at James, who was just on the outskirts of the chaos.
Lily charged up the lane after James, only stopping to pull her wand out of the pocket of her jeans. James was now dueling the figure in the black cloak, and Lily felt her heart pound with each curse that she saw James dodge. She ran with all she had, and yelled "Stupefy!" The person James had been dueling fell over, and James turned around briefly to see who had done it. When he saw Lily, his smile faltered. He grabbed her wrist and started to tug her away from the chaos.
"Lily, what are you doing?" he asked angrily.
"If you didn't notice, I was helping you!" said Lily indignantly, pointing down at the stupefied Death Eater.
"Do you not realize how dangerous this is? This isn't practice Lily! This isn't school! If you hesitate for a second, you won't get a bad grade, you'll," James said, stopping when he realized he couldn't get the rest of the words out. He didn't want to even think about Lily getting hurt, or worse.
"I know that, James. I know what could happen to me. But something could happen to you, too. Why is it ok for you to fight, but not ok for me to fight?" asked Lily, putting her hands on her hips.
"Because, Lily, you're just getting your memory back. You don't remember all the magic that you've done before now. What if you can't remember a spell and it makes you hesitate?"
"James!" Lily yelled, seeing a Death Eater who was striding towards James' back.
"I know you're angry with me, Lily, but I will not," said James.
"No, James, behind you!" Lily said, pushing James out of the way and shooting a jelly-legs jinx at the Death Eater. The hex missed the Death Eater narrowly. Lily dodged a curse the Death Eater shot back at her and was about to try to stupefy the Death Eater when his wand whipped silently through the air and Lily was thrown backwards. She crashed into a wooden bench and bounced off, landing on the road. She winced as she slowly sat up and looked over at the Death Eater just in time to see James sink a fist into his mask.
Lily stupefied the Death Eater as she walked back over to James. She put a hand on his shoulder and James looked right up at her, his face contorted in an expression of rage. It terrified her for a second, but then James stood up and his face lost some of his anger.
"Come with me," said James, an edge of anger still in his voice. He grabbed Lily's wrist and dragged her down the edges of the street, away from the fighting. The only sounds came from the battle that was getting farther and farther away as James continued at a quick pace.
"Where are we going?" asked Lily.
"You are going back to the castle and I'm going to make sure you go," said James, tugging her towards the entrance to Honeydukes. The shop was empty, but James didn't even seem to take in their surroundings, he just walked quickly through the shop and pulled Lily through a door at the back of the shop.
"Wait a minute, James, I do not agree to this," said Lily, pulling her arm out of James' grip and glaring at him.
"Lily, you need to get out of here right now," James said through gritted teeth.
"I am not leaving here unless you leave with me," said Lily just as firmly.
"I'm not leaving yet, Lily, I've got to help. But you need to go back to the castle right now, Lily. This is not a discussion. I am telling you that you are going to leave right now." James grabbed Lily's wrist again and dragged her into the next room. He bent down and pulled up a trap door.
"You're telling me what to do! You can't tell me what to do, James! In case you haven't noticed, I'm seventeen, and that means that no one can tell me what to do!" Lily said angrily.
"Lily, please," James begged quietly, the fight gone out of him. James knew that arguing wouldn't work with Lily. She was far too stubborn to listen to him if he argued. He thought about her sailing through the air and crashing into the bench, wincing in pain as she got up. His anger melted and all he felt was terror that something might happen to Lily if she didn't leave. James looked her straight in the eye. His eyes were so filled with love and compassion that Lily had to look away. "I thought I lost you once, and I couldn't go through that again. Do you know that I couldn't live without you, Lily? Do you even know how much I love you, how much I've always loved you?"
"But I can't just leave you here, James. What if something bad happens to you? Don't you know how much I'd worry if I left, how much I need you, how I couldn't face a world without you in it?" asked Lily, with tears spilling down her cheeks.
"Lily, just knowing that you're safe will keep me safe. I will come back for you. I'll meet you in our head common room after this is over, I promise," said James.
"You promise me you'll be ok?" asked Lily, staring up into his hazel eyes.
"I promise, Lily. Nothing could ever keep us apart," said James with a small smile.
"Ok, James. Be safe, come back," said Lily, feeling her eyes sting and a lump grow in her throat.
"I will, don't worry," said James. He covered the short distance between them and pulled Lily tight to his chest, rubbing her back in circles. Lily squeezed him tight as if she could keep him with her if she only was closer to him. James moved his head back and looked into Lily's eyes. Lily took a breath and moved her lips towards his, realizing just how much she felt for this brave, over-protective boy who believed in fighting to save people and free the world of evil. Maybe this was love, this feeling that was tingling in her stomach as she looked in his eyes, or when she watched him walk towards her, or when she saw him fly through the air on his broom, even when he smirked at her.
Their lips touched and the room disappeared, the dust was gone, the boxes of sweets around them, the trapdoor, and the dark abyss below all faded away. There was no Hogwarts, no battle raging in Hogsmede, no Death Eaters, no Voldemort. There were only two young people who were kissing, who were feeling their love growing. Lily felt every last bit of doubt that she was in love with James disappear from her body as his lips moved on hers. She felt herself let go of all control, of everything that had kept her from showing James how she was feeling. James pulled her tighter to him and she felt his hands trailing through her hair.
James pulled back too soon and Lily sighed, wishing that reality wouldn't creep in and interrupt their time together. She looked at James and was glad to see his face glowing with happiness. Lily knew her face held the same look, and she felt like her lips would never stop smiling.
"Follow the path to the stairs that lead up to the statue of the one-eyed witch. I'll see you soon, Lily," said James, tracing her jaw with his thumb before he turned back to the storeroom.
James walked to the front of Honeydukes in a daze, reliving his kiss with Lily. He hadn't wanted to leave her, he had wanted to stay with her, to kiss her more, to spend the rest of the evening with her until she made him leave her side, but he knew what he had to do. Ever since the war started, James had been raring to get into the fight, to show those Death Eaters that they were worthless scum and to make them pay for their attacks on muggles and muggle-borns.
James had never realized just how much the war cost until now. It wasn't just leaving Lily for an evening. It was watching the love of his life battle Death Eaters, terrified that the next curse that was shot at her would hit. It was battling alongside his best mates, knowing very well that some of them wouldn't still be standing after the fight was over. It was watching men and women bend over the lifeless bodies of their loved ones. James chuckled humorlessly to himself, realizing that he had finally grown up. He wasn't the immature fifth-year who roamed the halls of Hogwarts looking for a fight with the Slytherins. He walked to his battle feeling the weight of what freedom, what love, what doing the right thing cost.
When James emerged from Honeydukes, he was surprised to see that many Order members had apparated into Hogsmede. They were dueling with the Death Eaters, trading flashes of light. James scanned the crowd and saw Sirius dueling a couple of Death Eaters. James ran up to him and jumped into the fight. James cast the Petrificus Totalus spell and the Death Eater ducked to miss it. James ducked a spell.
"Nice of you to join us, Prongs," said Sirius, who was dueling the other black-cloaked Death Eater. Sirius was dancing around the curses the Death Eater was sending his way, his face in a characteristic smirk.
"Well, my schedule was a little light today, so I decided I could fit a little dueling in," said James, smirking back and shooting a curse at the Death Eater he was dueling. The jelly-legs jinx hit dead on and the Death Eater flopped to the ground.
"Light schedule, Prongs? I'm so sorry. But I guess not everyone can be as likeable as I am," said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows at James before dodging another curse.
James snorted.
"Alright Mr. Likeable, why don't you stop prancing around and just finish off the miserable Death Eater. Look at him, he's exhausted!" said James.
"Prongs, Prongs, do you even remember how to have fun anymore?" asked Sirius, shaking his head in pity.
"Do I remember how to have fun?" asked James, scoffing at Sirius. He whipped his wand through the air and a huge cream pie appeared right in front of the Death Eater and smacked him in the face. The Death Eater was knocked over.
"Nice one, James," said Sirius, stupefying the Death Eater before he could push the giant cream pie off of himself.
"So where are Moony and Wormtail?" asked James.
"Moony ran towards the costume shop as soon as we saw it explode, and Wormtail transformed and escaped," said Sirius, rolling his eyes at Peter's lack of bravery.
"Why did Moony go to the costume shop?" asked James.
"I don't know, Prongs, but he looked really freaked out," said Sirius, remembering Remus' terror-filled expression and his mad dash out of the Three Broomsticks. He had nearly knocked their table over in his haste to get out.
"Maybe we should go find him," James suggested, a sense of foreboding filling his stomach.
They walked off toward the costume shop, feeling a sense of dread.
Lily lit her wand and began walking down the dusty tunnel. The darkness unnerved her, but the longer she walked, the safer she felt. She knew that with each footstep she was getting closer and closer to Hogwarts, and Hogwarts meant safety. She touched her lips and wished that James was with her, following her to safety. Every time she thought about him dueling Death Eaters she felt the air go out of her lungs, so she tried to focus on reliving their kiss.
After several minutes of walking, Lily heard a pebble skid across the floor behind her. She jumped and whirled around, feeling her heart pounding. She backed against the wall and pointed her wand slowly around her, following the light with her eyes. She stayed completely still and strained her ears to hear anything. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and realized it had probably just been a rat or maybe she had kicked the rock herself and was just feeling jumpy.
Lily kept walking, but she clutched her wand tighter in her hand and kept her mind clear of any distractions. So when she heard another pebble skid across the ground she jumped again and nearly snapped her wand in two. She whirled around and backed up against the wall again. She searched around herself again, but she didn't see anyone or anything that could have made the noise. She took another deep breath and began walking faster. As soon as she got back to the castle she would feel a lot better, a lot safer. The castle couldn't be too far away now.
After another several minutes Lily heard footsteps behind her. Her blood ran cold and she froze for a second. She backed toward the wall again, but before she reached the wall her body hit another body. Arms reached out and grabbed her, and before she could gather her breath to scream, a hand clamped down over her mouth.
"Well, well, Lily Evans, you eluded me for a night, but now you have returned," said the hissing voice in Lily's ear. Lily shuddered, feeling his breath on her neck.
Lily struggled against the arms holding her. She flailed her arms and legs, but the man in the black cloak was too strong.
"Now, now, mudblood, you can give up your struggle. I can promise you that I will not let you escape again," the man hissed. Lily felt cold terror sweeping up and down her body. Her hands were cold and clammy, and her wand slipped right out of her grip. Lily waited for a second, scared that the man had seen her wand fall.
"You see, mudblood, for years I've waited to put you in your place. I've watched you excel with stolen magic for years, filthy mudblood, and now I finally get to punish you for it," hissed the man angrily as he pushed Lily to the floor. Lily blinked the dust out of her eyes but stayed where she was, feeling the pain rippling from her elbows and knees. She could see her wand lying just in front of the hem of the black cloak, but she didn't dare reach her hand out and draw attention to it.
"Now, don't you worry, I am going to take my time with you. I don't believe in showing mercy to disgusting mudbloods," said the man.
"We're not far from Hogwarts. Dumbledore will come and when he does you are going to be sent to Azkaban," said Lily angrily.
"Dumbledore. Oh, Dumbledore. Come out and save your precious mudblood," said the man, looking around the cave in mockery, sneering all the while. Lily took the opportunity to grab her wand and stuff it underneath her before the man's eyes fell back on her. "It doesn't look like he's here. What a shame."
"Now, before we get started, I'd like you to hand over your wand. You don't deserve to have a wand at all, and naturally I won't allow you to use any more stolen magic, especially against me," said the man.
"It's my wand, and I'm not giving it to you," said Lily through gritted teeth. She stood up and gripped it firmly in her hand, pointing it toward the man.
"I'll give you one more chance to hand it over before I cause you so much pain you'll beg me to take it from you," said the voice in a steely tone.
"You're going to torture me whether I give you my wand or not, so I really don't see a point in making it easy for you," said Lily.
"Fine, we can do this the hard way. That's alright, it'll be more enjoyable for me to watch you writhe in pain," said the man.
"Expelliarmus!" yelled Lily. She watched the wand jerk a little bit in the man's hand, but he had a firm grip on it.
"I warned you," said the man gleefully, "Crucio!"
Lily felt instant pain shooting all through her body. Her scalp felt like it was on fire, her lungs felt like they were being squeezed. Her entire body felt like it had been hit by the Knight Bus. She dropped her wand, unable to keep her grip on it. She couldn't focus on anything but the pain. Her scream filled the tunnel, echoing against the stone walls. After the pain subsided, Lily lay on her back on the stone floor, panting for breath. She saw her wand in the man's black-gloved hands and her heart sank. She knew that it was all over.
"Now wasn't that fun, mudblood? I think that you could use a little more, though," said the man. Lily felt rage flood through her, and even though her body was protesting in pain, she used all the strength she had to kick the man in the shin. He cursed and dropped to the ground. Lily took the opportunity to grab a rock that was by her side and throw it down the tunnel. It hit one of the walls a few feet away and made a loud sound.
"Who's there?" the man screamed, jumping up and looking around the tunnels.
While the man was searching, Lily dug in her pocket and pulled out the mirror that James had given her only a little while ago. She looked into her reflection and said "James" as loudly as she could without attracting attention to herself. She waited a second, but all she saw was her reflection. She called his name a little louder, but before she could see if it worked, she heard the man yell, "Crucio!" again. Her body fell into spasms of pain again and the mirror fell out of her grip, shattering on the stone floor.
Lily could feel tears running down her cheeks as soon as the intense pain faded. She was out of hope now. Her last hope of being saved had shattered as soon as the mirror hit the stone floor. Now this man was going to torture her until she lost her mind, and she couldn't stop him. Lily tried to hold it together as much as she could. If she was going to be killed, she was going to do it with dignity. She wouldn't give the Death Eater the satisfaction of watching her cry. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks with the back of her hands and slowly stood up, locking her knees so that she stood straight and tall. Maybe she wouldn't defeat this man, but there would be a small victory in holding her head high.
As soon as Remus saw the costume shop explode, he was out of his seat, running for the door. All he could think about was Hannah. He saw her face, saw her walking away from him and towards the costume shop. He tried not to panic. It had been a half-hour since he had seen Hannah walking towards the costume shop. Maybe she had already left and wasn't in the shop when it exploded.
Remus took in the chaos of the scene as he walked down the main street. People were screaming and crying, one of the walls of the costume shop had been blown off, and there were figures in black robes throwing curses around almost randomly. Remus scanned the crowd in front of the costume shop for Hannah. He didn't see her standing in front of the shop. She had probably already gone back to the castle or to lunch with Carrie.
Remus saw a Death Eater shooting curses at a second-year that he recognized, and he ran to help the Hogwarts student. He started dueling the Death Eater, throwing whatever curses he could think of at the monster. He dodged curses himself, ducking behind benches and dropping to the ground to avoid the erratic curses. Remus had just hit the Death Eater with a jelly-legs jinx when he heard a high-pitched scream coming from his left side. Hannah was on the ground, screaming and jerking in pain. She had a costume clutched in her hands, and a Death Eater was standing over her, holding his wand on her.
"You think it's fun to buy a muggle costume, do you? You think it's fun to wear the filth that they produce?" asked the figure shrilly. "Crucio!"
Hannah screamed again in pain and Remus ran over, throwing a curse at the Death Eater. The Death Eater dodged the curse and pointed his wand at Remus. Remus ducked down to avoid their curse, and then shot up, his wand pointed at the Death Eater. He threw all of his rage into his curse, and it knocked the Death Eater back, where he crashed into the front of a shop on the opposite side of the street. Remus quickly stupefied the Death Eater before he turned to Hannah.
"Matthews, are you ok?" asked Remus, bending down and grabbing her hand.
Hannah didn't respond. Her eyes were closed and her face looked very pale.
"Matthews," said Remus a little louder, squeezing her hand. Still, she didn't respond. Remus looked up and around himself, trying to find any kind of help he could get. The street was still complete chaos, with witches and wizards engaged in fierce duels with the Death Eaters.
"You're going to be ok, Hannah," Remus said gently to her, kneeling beside her. "I'm going to get you back to the castle."
Remus gathered her up in his arms and walked down a side street that connected to the main street. As he walked he just kept thinking that Hannah had to be alright. If she wasn't, he would have to live with the fact that it was all his fault.
Lily knew she was nearing the end of her willpower. Her eyes kept going in and out of focus and the room was spinning, changing directions constantly so she didn't know which way was up and which way was down. Still the hissing voice of the Death Eater cut through the fog she wasin, kept her skin cold and clammy and brought terrifying images to her thoughts whenever she had a coherent moment. She couldn't really hear what he was saying, but the sound of it reached through her muddled brain.
"Crucio!" the man screamed again, and the world went black. She was sinking, sinking. She could feel her body tipping back. All that existed were sensations. There were no thoughts, no feelings, there was just falling through the air.
"James," a voice called from James' pocket. He struggled to pull it out, but when he finally got it out of his pocket, the mirror's surface showed a dark ceiling. He looked at it for a few seconds, wondering what it was showing him.
"D o you think Moony went back to the castle?" asked Sirius. He hadn't noticed the voice coming from James' mirror over the sounds of the disapparating Death Eaters. Dumbledore had just ordered all Hogwarts students to get back to the castle, and Sirius and James were straggling along behind the rest of the crowd.
"Probably, we didn't see him near the costume shop," said James, holding the mirror in his palm in case the voice came from the mirror again.
"James," said the same voice, a little louder. James jerked the mirror up to his vision just in time to see Lily a split second before her image shattered. He could see little sections of her face in jagged patterns.
"Pads, look at this," said James, holding the mirror out so that Sirius could see it.
"Crucio!" came a hissing voice from the mirror. A terrible scream rang through the mirror and James and Sirius just barely saw a sweep of black material run across the edge of one of the jagged pieces of mirror.
"Lily, Lily," said James into the mirror. Just as he said it he saw the bottom of a trainer come down on the jagged pieces of mirror. The damage must have been too severe for the mirror to work, because James just saw his own reflection in the mirror right after the shoe.
"Where is she?" asked Sirius, stopping halfway across the Hogwarts grounds.
"She's in the tunnel between Honeydukes and Hogwarts. Pads, do you think that the man in the black cloak found her? Was that him? I should have never sent her back to the castle by herself!" said James, feeling panicked.
"Let's go," said Sirius. They began running back down the lane to Hogsmede. They were just about to enter Hogsmede when Filch appeared in front of them.
"And where d'you think you're going?" asked Filch, frowning down at them.
"One of our friends is still in Hogsmede. We need to find her," said James testily, thinking about what he had just seen in the mirror.
"Dumbledore said no one can go back in, so get back to the castle," said Filch with a dirty smile on his face.
"Oh, come on Filchy, you owe us. If it wasn't for us, you wouldn't have had a job for the past six years," said Sirius, grinning mischievously.
"If only I was allowed to hang you by your thumbnails after your first prank," said Filch under his breath, but loud enough that James and Sirius heard him.
"We're going into Hogsmede now, Filch, but maybe you can do that to us when we get back," said James, dodging past Filch and jogging down Hogsmede's main street.
"See you later, Filchy," called Sirius over his shoulder as he jogged beside James.
"And what in the name of Merlin are you two doing here?" called a sharp voice as James and Sirius jogged past.
"Can't talk now, Professor," called James to an enraged Professor McGonagall.
"Don't stop," said Sirius to James. They kept running, ignoring Professor McGonagall, who was staring incredulously at the two boys running down the street.
James and Sirius finally slowed down in an alleyway near Honeydukes. James pulled his invisibility cloak out of his back pocket and the two crouched under it, making sure their feet and ankles were invisible. They moved slowly and carefully through Honeydukes, making sure that they did not draw any attention to themselves. Every second that James spent away from Lily made him more and more uneasy. It had been at least ten minutes since he had seen her hit by the curse. He couldn't let the panic take over him, he held onto hope that Lily would be ok and it propelled him forward.
"Finally, we got to actually do something. I was getting so tired of waiting for something to happen," said Renwood as he walked beside several Slytherins who had participated in the attack. They had stashed their robes in a cave beyond Hogsmede and they had filtered in with the students returning to Hogwarts.
Severus was walking in the group, but instead of feeling triumphant like the other boys, he was conflicted, and most of this confliction had to do with Lily. He had seen her fighting beside Potter. He had seen Renwood throw her into a bench. It took all of his restraint to ignore it and keep on deuling Black. He wanted to rush over and punch Renwood, to get Lily away from the danger. For once in his life he envied James as he watched the Marauder beat the bogies out of Renwood.
"Do you think the Dark Lord will be angry that we started a battle without his orders?" asked a timid third-year.
"If anything he'll be pleased by our devotion," said a thick blond-haired sixth-year.
"The Professor wasn't very happy about it," said the same third-year.
"At first he wasn't, but when he realized that he would get a chance to take care of the mudblood, he changed his mind," said Renwood, smirking.
Severus' blood boiled and he felt enraged. He let himself be consumed by his anger for a few minutes before he fought to get himself under control. If he was going to figure out how to get Lily out of this mess, he needed to have a clear head.
"How was he able to attack her right under Dumbledore's nose? I would think the disgusting mudblood told Dumbledore all about last night," said Severus, tasting bile in his mouth as he spoke of Lily with that awful word.
"It was almost too easy for the professor to get the mudblood alone. He saw Potter leading her into Honeydukes and figured they were using the secret passage to the castle. He saw Potter come back out, and then he went in. I bet she's screaming right now," said Renwood with a smile on his face.
"Excellent," said Severus. He waited for a few minutes to blend back into the crowd and casually shifted further and further to the back of the crowd swarming around Renwood in the common room.
Severus slipped quietly out of the common room, closing the door on accounts of the battle. Before he heard that Lily was in danger, there had been a lot of thoughts swarming through his brain. Now all he could think about was Lily. How did he allow himself to get sucked into the type of life where he was partially responsible for the torture of the love of his life? As he raced down the halls to the statue of the One-Eyed Witch, waves of feeling crashed over him.
He always kept himself so detached, so cut-off from any kind of emotion, but his love for Lily was always lurking just under the persona he created. A thousand times a day he wondered if things would have been different if he had been sorted into another house, if he hadn't called her a mudblood in fifth year, if he hadn't allowed their clashing houses to pull them apart. Maybe if things were different he would have been the one to punch Renwood in the face and pull Lily away from danger. Maybe instead of running to save her, he'd be sitting with her beside the lake, or studying with her in the library, or snogging her in an empty classroom.
Severus reached the statue and muttered dissendium, tapping the statue with his wand. The statue disappeared, and Severus quickly climbed down the ladder, all of his thoughts concentrated on getting to Lily.
The tunnel was dark, but Severus didn't light his wand. He still hadn't figured out how to save Lily. It was tempting to think about dashing to Lily's side and saving her, to think about carrying her from the tunnel and hearing that she forgives him and wants nothing more to do with Potter, but even in his dreams he had to admit that it would never happen. Lily would never forgive him, no matter what he did for her. Besides, if he drew attention to himself, if he overtly saved Lily, the Dark Lord would come after him and his house would turn on him. He thought that if he had the assurance that she would take him, he would turn his back on his whole life for her. He would risk his life for her if there was a chance that they might be together.
But since there was no chance of them ever even being friends again, Severus needed to come up with a plan that would get the professor away from Lily without making it suspicious. After jogging through the tunnel for several minutes, an idea came to him. It wouldn't change Lily's feelings about him, she would still hate him just as much as she always had, but at least he would have saved her. At least in his own quiet way he would be showing that he loved her.
Severus cast a patronus and whispered a message, sending it to Dumbledore. The stone walls and ceiling were briefly lit by his silver doe as it charged through the tunnel. Severus watched until it disappeared and then he continued to run through the tunnel. He heard the screaming before he could see Lily, and he quickened his pace even more, feeling the strain in his muscles.
Severus saw the professor standing in front of Lily, who was lying on the floor. The professor was just raising his wand, about to cast another curse when Severus ran into the middle of the scene. He jumped right in front of Lily before he had any time to think. He couldn't just watch the professor point his wand at Lily with an unforgivable curse forming on his lips.
"Professor!" said Severus anxiously.
"Snape, what are you doing here? I thought I told Renwood that I didn't want any interruptions," hissed the professor.
"I came to warn you. Dumbledore is coming. I was walking back to the castle when I heard McGonagall tell him that she saw a black-cloaked figure going into Honeydukes after the mudblood," said Severus, looking over at Lily. Her eyes were closed and she was curled up on her side on the floor, hugging her knees tight to her chest. He could just make out tears leaking down her cheeks.
"Well, then, I guess the torture will have to end. What a pity, we were having so much fun, weren't we, mudblood?" asked the professor, using his foot to turn Lily onto her back. "But now I will just have to kill you. Dumbledore spoils everything."
"But professor, he's coming right now. I passed him as he was walking to Honeydukes. If you don't want to get caught you have to go right now," said Severus.
"It will only take a moment for me to kill her, and then I can escape. Dumbledore is old, and he's lost his marbles, and I could kill him if it came to it," said the professor. He turned toward Lily and began to raise his wand.
"But what would the Dark Lord say? Doesn't he want to deal with Dumbledore himself?" asked Severus.
"The Dark Lord will be pleased that I killed that mudblood, and he'll reward me for killing the old fool, you'll see," he said, a mad glint in his red eyes. He turned back to Lily and raised his wand again. "Avada," he said.
"Stupefy!" Severus yelled, putting all of his love and rage and fear into the spell. The man in the professor was thrown back by the force of the spell, and he fell stiffly to the floor where he lay completely still.
Severus moved cautiously toward Lily. She was now sprawled out on her back, and her cheeks were wet. He crouched down beside her and could just barely hear her whimpering. His hand reached out almost involuntarily and he wiped a tear from her cheek. Lily opened her eyes, staring at him in fear, but she didn't move.
"Lily, are you ok?" asked Severus, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"I-is, is he g-gone?" asked Lily.
"He's still here, but I stupefied him. You don't need to be afraid," Severus promised.
"I d-don't need to be af-fraid of you?" asked Lily, staring mistrustfully at the wand that Severus still had clutched in the hand farther away from her.
"No, Lily, I would never hurt you, ever," he said indignantly. "I never could hurt you," he said quietly, almost under his breath.
"But wh-what about last n-night?" asked Lily.
"I wasn't going to hurt you, Lily. I was going to take on all of the Slytherins and the professor, but I wanted to surprise them with it. I wanted to give us a little bit of a chance of getting out of there alive," said Severus earnestly.
"Why would you do that?" asked Lily quietly, closing her eyes.
"Are you feeling ok, Lily?" he asked anxiously, ignoring her question. He wasn't about to reveal his feelings to her. She would pity him for the rest of his life, and he didn't want to see that, to know she knew he was pathetic.
"Not really," said Lily, wincing as she tried to get up off of the floor.
"Maybe you shouldn't get up right away, Lily. You look really pale. You should probably rest for a little while, get your strength back," said Severus.
"I have to go find James. I was supposed to meet him in our common room after the battle was over. He must be worried," said Lily pushing herself up on her legs.
"Lily, you don't look well enough to go anywhere. Why don't I go get Madame Pomphery for you?" asked Severus.
"I'm fine, Severus," said Lily weakly, taking a few slow, shaky steps.
"Like Merlin you are, Lily," snorted Severus.
"Of course I," began Lily before her eyes closed and she fell backwards.
Severus rushed forward and caught Lily before she fell to the stone floor. He cradled her in his arms for a second, lightly tapping her shoulder, whispering her name to see if she'd wake. She didn't move, didn't open her eyes. After a few seconds of trying to wake Lily, Severus decided he needed to get her to the hospital wing. He picked Lily up and began to carry her back down the tunnel toward the statue of the One-Eyed Witch.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" screamed a voice behind him. He turned around to see James and Sirius rushing towards him with angry scowls on each of their faces.
James saw Lily in Snivellus's arms and nearly lost his brain, he was so furious. He charged toward the disgusting Death Eater, thinking only of beating the Death Eater out of him.
"Get the bloody hell away from her," growled James, trying to take Lily from him. He couldn't stand the sight of the greasy slimeball's hands all over her. Severus held tight to Lily, and James was afraid of pulling too hard in case Lily got hurt.
"Jealous, are you, Potter?" snarled Severus, smiling coldly at James.
"No, I just want to kill you and you're hiding behind my girlfriend," said James.
"Now, Snivellus, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. You can put Lily down or we can break your nose and then take her from you," said Sirius, standing beside James. He stood up tall and cracked his knuckles, "Of course, breaking your nose might be doing you a favor."
"It's nice to know that Evans' boyfriend cares more about beating me up than making sure she's ok," said Severus, "it really shows just how much you don't deserve her."
"And what are you doing here Snivellus? Maybe you're the one who attacked her and you want to take her away to finish her off," said Sirius, a harsh edge to his voice.
"I didn't attack her, Black. Remember the professor? He saw Lily go into Honeydukes with Potter and then saw Potter leave Honeydukes. You might as well have handed her over to him," said Severus. He was shaking with rage, thinking about the idiot Potter letting Lily get into this situation.
"Shut your mouth, Snivelly!" screamed James. Sirius put his hand on James' shoulder and James glanced over briefly and nodded minutely. Sirius squeezed James' shoulder and then let go, and a second later, Sirius' fist collided with Severus' nose at the same time that James lunged to take Lily from Severus' grip.
"You can curse and hex me all you want," said Severus, wiping blood from under his nose with a sweep of the back of his hand, "but you're the one who has to live with the fact that you were off being big bad Potter and fighting Death Eaters while your girlfriend was being tortured."
"Lily," said James, using all of his restraint to ignore Snape. He looked down into her pale face, feeling like the world's biggest idiot. He had thought she would be safe in the tunnel. He had never imagined that anyone else even knew about it. When he looked at Lily, he had to wonder if he had been selfish to go back to the fight.
"Mmm, James," said Lily faintly.
"I'm going to get you to the hospital wing, Lily, you're going to be fine," promised James, "and then, Snivellus, I am going to find you, and you are going to wish that you never attacked her."
Lily woke in the middle of the night after a fitful afternoon of fitful sleeping and half-consciousness. The moonlight was falling softly across her bed and for a minute she looked out at the dark grounds. The night terrified her, reminding her of the tunnels. She glanced around her in panic and was relieved when she saw James sleeping in a chair beside her bed. She knew Madame Pomphery would have a fit if she saw him, but she just let James keep sleeping. It brought her comfort to know that he was beside her.
She stared across the room, to where Hannah was lying. She hadn't woken yet and if she didn't wake by the morning she was going to be sent to St. Mungos. She had heard Remus and James talking a few hours earlier and she had been worried ever since.
Out of the corner of her eye she caught a dark figure moving across the room. Startled, she jumped, but when she saw who it was, she wasn't sure what to think. Severus was creeping as noiselessly as possible across the wooden floor. Lily sat back in bed, deciding whether or not she would pretend to be asleep. He walked to the foot of her bed and Lily saw how tired he looked through a small gap in her eyelids.
"I'm so sorry, Evans," he whispered as he gripped the metal frame of her bed tightly in his hands. His knuckles turned white. "I know that things will never be the same again, Lily. I know that there is too much between us now. We can't be friends. But I love you Lily Evans, and I will always protect you, always," said Severus.
Lily's heart ached for her old friend, but she couldn't forget what he had done. He had called her a mudblood; he was friends with people who wanted to torture her, to kill her. He was right that they couldn't be friends. There was too much history between them.
Severus sighed heavily and looked at Lily once more before he turned and walked back toward the door of the hospital wing.
"Thank you, Severus," said Lily quietly just before he reached the door. He looked back at her and nodded his head sadly before he quietly opened the door and disappeared.
I hope you liked it! I know it was super long and I apologize for that! As always, I would love to know what you think about the chapter and the direction the story is headed. The cool thing about this serial type story is that you can always tell me what you like/don't like and I can consider your suggestions.
Thanks so much for sticking with my story and thanks for all the reviews. I missed seeing them in my email when I was on hiatus.
Lots of love,
Littlemisskrissy