Alex spent the rest of the morning fantasizing about Olivia. Unlike her past fantasies about the detective, which usually included a bed and the two of them wearing little to no clothing, the fantasies she had that morning were about the very essence of Olivia: what she looked like when she woke up in the morning without any make-up on, whether or not she 'talked' to her baby when she was alone, and what she liked to do to unwind (if she ever did anything to unwind). The most prominent thought, however, was Olivia's future baby. The more she thought about Olivia being an expectant mother, the fact that she was carrying a life inside her, the more beautiful she found Olivia and the more her fantasies changed and the ones she used to have about her, always vivid, so vivid, in fact, that Alex couldn't help screaming Olivia's name as she relieved her own tension, seemed only supplementary to the fantasy of waking up with a family of their own. With that in mind, Alex looked at her watch and realized it was time for her to meet Olivia.
As she was making her way to Olivia, Alex started to lose herself in a fantasy world yet again. Fantasies were what got her through her lonely years in witness protection because that was the only time Olivia could truly be hers, but it finally dawned on her that she might not need fantasies anymore. She was going to lunch with Olivia, which she hoped would lead to so much more. She hoped the next few months would be spent taking care of Olivia until it was time for Alex to join her in the delivery room and then she would spend the rest of her life with Olivia and their son or daughter. Would the baby be a Benson? A Cabot-Benson? Would Alex herself become a Benson or a Cabot-Benson? Oh, fuck. Would Olivia become a Cabot? The idea of Alex and Olivia Cabot made Alex's heart beat that much faster. The answers to those questions were all dependent upon this lunch date and Alex was prepared to go above and beyond to prove that this wasn't some lustful fling. Alex's feelings for Olivia were genuine and she hoped Olivia would someday grow to love her at least half as much.
When Alex arrived at the precinct, Olivia was already standing outside.
"You haven't been waiting long, have you?" Alex asked, worrying already about how Olivia would feel about her and even more so about her well-being.
"No, not at all. I just walked out a minute ago. Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. Where to, detective?"
"I'm craving Italian."
Cravings, Alex thought with a smile. She briefly imagined late-night runs to the store for random food combinations because Olivia craved it, who would undoubtedly lie and say it was the baby craving it and not herself.
Alex put her arm out and Olivia wrapped her own around it, "Then the lady gets Italian."
XXX
"Let me order for you." Alex suggested after they were seated. She looked up into Olivia's eyes and watched her nod her reply. Alex opened the menu and began scanning the list of delicacies, "Well, seafood is out of the question…."
"Alex…"
"The mercury is bad for the baby. Hmmm…nothing too fatty. Oooh, not that. Too much salt…"
"Alex, Jesus, I just told you I was pregnant, like 2 hours ago. And you're already worried about me? You're so bossy."
"While I have been known to be bossy, Olivia, it's really because I care about you that I'm doing this."
"I can take care of myself…"
"But you shouldn't have to." Their waiter came back to the table with a smile, "Two orders of Chicken Cacciatore, please. And water, side of lemon."
Olivia narrowed her gaze at Alex, "You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to, Olivia."
The sparkle in Alex's eyes spoke to Olivia and pinned her in place. She might have pretended to hate this—all this attention. But she kind of, sort of, really liked it. And the way Alex smiled at her, that let her know that Alex knew it too.
The conversation was easy, like there hadn't been time in between them. But Alex really wanted to get to the heart of the matter.
"I love you." Alex said softly. "I'm in love with you. I have been for years. I just want a chance to be in your life."
"With the baby coming…" Olivia wondered if Alex could really handle being with her in this condition.
"As much as I love you, I will love that baby with all my heart because he or she will come from you."
"Alex…"
"I won't take no for answer, Benson." Alex smirked.
Same old Alex, Olivia thought, "Just don't break my heart, Alex. I couldn't take it."
Alex took Olivia's hand into her own, silently promising her that she wouldn't.
XXX
Stopping in front of the precinct, Alex knew that she had to let Olivia go for the rest of the work day. That didn't mean that she wanted to.
"Thanks for lunch, Alex."
"Thanks for letting me take you." Alex paused, "Will you call me later?"
"Of course." Olivia couldn't keep her eyes off of Alex's lips. She'd been looking at her all afternoon, but hadn't worked up the courage until now just to kiss her. She leaned in for what she'd hoped would be a peck, but, after slightly parting her lips, she was granted so much more.
For once, Alex was at a loss for words. "Bye," she said awkwardly for a lack of anything better to say to the woman she loved.
Knowing she was the reason why Alex was nearly speechless, Olivia started to smile. "Bye, Alex."
"Call me?" Alex asked one more time just to be certain. After that kiss, it was hard for her to remember whether or not Olivia had already agreed to do so.
"I already told you I would," Olivia reminded her.
"Right," Alex said, wishing she could somehow take back every awkward statement she had just made to Olivia. This wasn't like her; she was usually a confident and assertive woman, but there was something about Olivia that made her feel like a teenage girl falling in love for the first time. These feelings were so new to Alex, but she didn't mind because it was Olivia who was making her feel that way.
That afternoon, when Alex returned to her office, she kept her cell phone in plain sight just in case Olivia decided to call her even sooner.