Dinner with her parents was always good. Alex's mother was the best cook she knew and the conversations with her family were always lively. Grace, being the only child in this small part of the family, was always the light of the dinner—she was talkative and so sweet and always wanted to talk about her day, revolving around games of hopscotch that she won or the icky boy down the street.
After dinner, Alexander Cabot retired to his study, again, claiming he had so much work to do before tomorrow morning. Alex, knowing her father was much like herself, knew that he was perfecting things—not necessarily finishing any work. After saying goodbye to her niece, brother, sister-in-law, and mother, Alex stopped by the study on her way out.
"Daddy?"
"Alex, come in. You're leaving for the evening?"
"Yes, but I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Sure. You know you could talk to me about anything." Alexander smiled at his daughter sincerely, looking up to her with bright blue eyes.
"If mom had a kid before you met, or she was pregnant when you met, would you still want to be with her?"
"Alexandra, I love your mother and fell in love with her not because of anything external to her, but because I loved her. So yes, I would still want to be with her."
"What about the baby? Would you feel responsibility for it?"
"Anything that would've come from your mother, I would've loved by the sheer fact that it was hers." He watched Alex nod her head in thought, "What's this about Alex?"
"Olivia is pregnant and I love her and I need her and the baby…." Every word came out, spilling over one another as the tears finally broke free of her eyelids, "And I don't know what to do and…" Alexander stood from his desk and wrapped his trembling daughter in his arms.
"Shh…Alex, if you love her, tell her. If you want her, show her. If you need her, make sure she becomes yours. You are the most convincing person I know when it comes to pleading a case. Plead your case with her."
XXX
Alex showered and dressed in a pair of sweats and a tank top before slipping under the blanket. She didn't think it could be considered normal how much she thought about Olivia today. During her meeting with Branch, she could barely concentrate; when she signed papers for the job offer as Bureau Chief, she almost wanted to sign Alexandra Cabot-Benson. She closed her eyes for just a moment before her cell phone started ringing. Olivia's name scrolled across the screen and Alex couldn't help from smiling.
"Hey, Liv. I was just thinking of you." Alex smiled lightly. She didn't want to freak her out by telling her that she had thought of her every single second today.
"You were? What about me?"
"Just how I was going to sweep you off your feet."
"So you're that good, huh?"
"You know I am. How are you and Baby Benson?"
"We're doing okay. I think it's a boy and he's giving mommy a sour stomach."
Alex grinned. Olivia with a son? The idea was cuter than Alex could even explain in words, "How do you know it's a boy?"
"Just a feeling." There was a long pause before Olivia spoke again, "I missed you Alex."
"I missed you too, Olivia. I thought of you every single day. I'd write my name and then yours on a piece of paper before going to bed at night so I could remember who I was. I was Alexandra Cabot, who was hopelessly in love with Olivia Benson. You are what kept me going through the days and months and years I was away."
"You just said you loved me."
"I love you, sweetheart. I always have and I always will and will show you every day if you let me."
"What do you want from me?"
"I just want you."
"But the baby…"
"I'm not asking for much, Olivia. If you don't want me in your child's life in a parental capacity, I can respect that. If you want me to be your child's other mother, I would gladly take on that role for you. I would love nothing more than to have a family with you. But right now, all I can ask for is…for you to come over tomorrow night and let me make you dinner. Maybe we'll watch a movie, maybe we'll cuddle a little. I want to start over with you and do all the things I should have done years ago. If you still want me…."
"I do, Alex. I do."
Alex felt her heart skip a beat, "So I'll see you tomorrow night?"
"Of course."
"Okay. Goodnight, Olivia. Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure."
"Run your hand across your belly." Alex paused, "Are you doing it?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'm going to talk to baby for a second, okay? Little Benson, keep your mommy safe while she sleeps tonight. And I'll see you both tomorrow. Goodnight, Olivia."
"Wait! Alex…"
"Yeah?"
"You cook?" Alex could hear the grin on Olivia's face.
"Not a whole lot to do in Bumfuck, USA. I had to occupy myself with something, sweetheart. I'll show you everything I've learned tomorrow night. Goodnight. I love you."
"Goodnight." Olivia hung up the phone, but whispered, "I love you too" into the darkness of her bedroom.