So I'm sorry this took so long to update. I have the fifth chapter almost ready, so hopefully tomorrow it'll be done (if not the next day)! I had a difficult last week with work and it seriously cut into my writing time, but things are freeing up now and I wanted to get this posted. It was originally with what is now chapter five, but they got too long together so I split them up. Smutty smut was in the second part, so it'll be in chapter five. Sorry for the long lead in to it, but I don't wanna rush my boys! A bit of angst and a whole lotta fluff coming your way! Reviews make my heart happy!
The school day couldn't get over soon enough for either of the two boys. Fridays always seemed to last longer than other days of the week, but today in particular seemed to be ridiculously long. After their study session in the library, they still had afternoon classes which seemed to drag on and on. Blaine could have sworn that the classroom clocks had all had their batteries run out they seemed to be moving so slowly. It probably didn't help that he couldn't stop himself from glancing up at them every thirty seconds or so. Finally it was 4pm and the close of classes for the day.
Warbler practice was uneventful and also seemed to last forever. Wes and David couldn't stop the debate on whether to allow for multiple solos at their latest nursing home performance. Many of the boys were vying for their own song selection and that wasn't sitting too well with Wes and David. Wes seemed particularly "gavel-happy" that afternoon and practically broke the head off his gavel he was banging it so hard into the table to get the other Warblers' attention.
The entire debate Kurt was unusually quiet, stealing glances at Blaine who was seemingly well engaged in the conversation. He was caught a few times looking into Blaine's eyes, but Blaine met him in the gaze and the corners of his mouth turned up just a little in a secret smile for Kurt. The blue-eyed boy had to shift in his seat and blushed. He had to look away as he thought about what was going to happen that night and what he was very much hoping would happen that night. He nervously shifted his legs to cross one knee over the other as he felt himself get hard at the thought of being that close to Blaine again, curled up together, sharing the space usually designed for one.
He had thought he'd felt something equally as hard that morning rubbing up against his knee that he'd had thrown across Blaine's leg, but he hadn't been sure. The thought that maybe, just maybe he had the same effect on Blaine that Blaine had on him was almost too much for Kurt to handle at the moment, seeing as he was seated in a room full of boys. He shifted again in his seat, looking slightly uncomfortable and a deeper red blush crept up his neck and into his cheeks.
Blaine caught his eye again and raised one eyebrow at him, obviously noticing the blush and silently questioning him about it. Blaine glanced at his crossed legs and then also blushed, giving him an almost knowing smile and looking back to the head table of Warblers, putting in his own two-cents regarding performing Katy Perry numbers in a nursing home. Kurt almost died right then and there as he was positive Blaine not only knew of his predicament, but also knew it was probably thinking of him that had caused it. Finally, after another excruciating 25 minutes during which Kurt attempted to think of anything but Blaine to solve his problem (he settled on Rachel trying to sexy dance while drunk), the Warblers were excused and most headed off to dinner.
Finally eight o'clock rolled around and Blaine surveyed his room with a careful eye. The boys had split up after Warbler practice to take care of the rest of their homework and dinner on their own. Blaine had spent most of the time in his room getting ready. The computer was set up as it had been last night, waiting for the DVD which was sitting beside it on the table with a few other selections in case Kurt wasn't in the mood for Mulan. His room was considerably cleaner than it had been the night before, thanks to the extra time he'd had to clear the clutter. Most of it wasn't even shoved under his bed, but actually put away where the stuff really belonged. Blaine had even hung up all of his extra ties that seemed to get strewn around his room as well as his blazers. He knew Kurt would throw a fit if he saw good clothes, even Dalton uniforms, thrown around and care not properly taken with them. Blaine wanted to skip that whole conversation if it could be prevented, so everything had been hung in its proper place in his closet. The bed was actually made up for once and the afghan that had covered the boys the night before lay folded at the foot of his bed. It was a gentle reminder of the wonderful previous night and at the sight of it, Blaine smiled as he ran his hand over it, remembering the feel of Kurt curled up next to him, sighing in his sleep.
Kurt had gone back to his room to eat dinner and finish his homework before heading over to Blaine's room. It wasn't too long until Kurt had finished what little homework he'd had left after Warbler practice. He had grabbed a pre-wrapped sandwich from the dining hall so he could be to Blaine's room on time and still have his homework completed. While he had been working on his homework, he'd been trying to understand what had him completely drawn to the other boy, why he felt so amazing when he was around him. He was thinking about those first few moments in the early morning light when he'd awoken and could feel Blaine's strong arms around him, his hand radiating heat into his lower back. Kurt realized that what he had felt was safety, security and perhaps, love. That was the idea he'd been trying to grasp – the idea that with Blaine he felt something that he hadn't felt in a long time. Ever since Blaine had invited him over the day before and he'd shared that wonderful night and early morning with him, he'd felt completely safe. Safer than he had felt, since well, his mother had died.
The realization shook him to his core. Even though his dad had always tried to protect him, there were always mean kids at school who did things to him that the teachers couldn't stop. He'd been tripped and pushed in the hallways, chosen last in any gym game, thrown into lockers and left for hours, called a girl, and basically picked on in every way, shape and form since he was a child. He'd always run to his mother when that had happened and she would pull him into her arms and rub his back, calming him and assuring him that no matter what she was there and loved him. He had no doubt that his father loved him and cared for him just as much. It was just that after his mother had died, Kurt had been terrified of hurting his father even worse, so he'd kept quiet about a lot of what had happened to him. He'd kept quiet even up to the point of Karofsky's harassment and threats back at McKinley. And then he had to be forced into telling his father after Karofsky had lost it and everyone else found out how bad it had gotten.
But now, with Blaine, Kurt realized could feel that safe again. Blaine knew about the bullies, he didn't have to hide anything from him because he'd been there, just like Kurt, abused and pushed around and tormented. There wasn't an insult Kurt had heard that Blaine hadn't heard a similar version of thrown his way. Blaine had been there, not at the same time as Kurt but in the exact same position. He knew, without Kurt explaining all of his feelings, exactly what it felt like to live tormented and finally escape. Kurt found it extremely comforting to know that he could finally let all of his shields down around Blaine and just be.
Kurt shook his head, trying to clear it after such a huge revelation. He glanced down at his watch, "crap I'm going to be late," he thought. He quickly surveyed himself in the mirror and spent a few moments making sure his hair was still just right. After Warbler practice, Kurt had changed out of his "day time uniform" and into more comfortable clothes like those he'd worn the night before. Because, hey, a guy could be hopeful for a repeat of last night, right? Although tonight he went with a deep navy shirt that seemed to make his eyes grow darker in color and light grey jeans. They weren't his typical completely skin-suffocatingly tight skinny jeans, but were still quite form fitted. They would be much more comfortable to sleep in, if he was lucky enough for that to happen again. Kurt chided himself for even thinking that he might get to sleep over at Blaine's again. He was getting greedy in his want to spend time with the other boy. With one last look at himself in the mirror, he headed out his door and down the corridor towards Blaine's room.
He tentatively knocked and could hear the other boy on the other side of the door. "Come in if you're Kurt, beat it if you're anybody else!" came Blaine's voice from inside the dorm room. Kurt grinned and opened the unlocked door.
"Hey," Kurt said tentatively as the other boy looked up at him from across the room. Blaine was sitting on his bed, cross-legged, messing with his computer. "It's just me." He closed the door and leaned up against it. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do. Kurt started to fidget with his shirt again. He stared down at the bed where he'd woken up that morning in Blaine's arms as comfortable and secure and safe. He reached a hand up to swipe his bangs to the side, momentarily forgetting that he'd changed his hairstyle. He instead moved the hand to the nape of his neck to smooth the hair there and rub it uncomfortably.
Blaine looked up at him and smiled that infectious smile of his. "Hey, don't be silly come over here!" Kurt took the few stuttering steps forward to Blaine's bed and sat down gingerly on the edge. "Don't worry, I won't bite." As he sat down Blaine leaned over into him, his eyes still glued to the computer screen. His head tipped over and fit right into the crook of Kurt's neck. He could feel the softness of Blaine's curls which tickled his chin. He smiled and a mortifying giggle escaped his lips.
"Oh my gosh!" He turned bright red and a hand was quickly covering his mouth. Kurt was so embarrassed. He'd wanted to be less vulnerable around Blaine tonight, considering the soul bearing that had happened the night before and here he was giggling like a little girl at the very touch that he so craved.
Blaine tore his eyes from the computer screen and fixed his gaze on Kurt. "You're adorable, you know that?" He asked sincerely, but with a grin still gracing his lips. "You don't have to worry around me, I'm as goofy and dorky as they come, trust me." He reached out and grasped Kurt's hand in front of his mouth, pulling it down. "Adorable – really. And now," he swiped his other hand out toward the computer, "a delightful surprise – if you're still up for Mulan, or I have basically every other Disney movie ever made, I have rigged it up for surround sound – all the better to sing along with!" He grinned at Kurt proudly. "See? 100% dork-a-licious!"
All Kurt could do was smile with a raised eyebrow and shake his head at Blaine. "Dork-a-licious? Really, Blaine? And Mulan would be great – I love that movie too."
"Awesome!" Blaine scooted forward on the bed so that he could reach the computer better and put in the right disc. He set it as he had the night before, so that it would begin playing on its own. He sprung off the bed and adjusted the lights to the way they had been the night before. "Better light for the movie," he explained to Kurt with a slight blush rising in his cheeks, "also better to get you to relax and quit being so super tense."
He sat back down behind Kurt and pulled him up to him like he had the night before. "I totally caught you trying to crack this back multiple times today. Seems like I still have work to do." Kurt didn't fight him on it. He couldn't even seem to be able to form a coherent sentence at this point, so he just let Blaine do what he wanted. Blaine started in on his back as the opening sequence played. He felt Blaine get up on his knees behind him trying at a different angle for Kurt's shoulders.
He could feel Blaine lean in right next to his ear. "Um, Kurt this isn't working so well," Blaine paused, his breath hot and heavy on Kurt's ear making tingles run down his spine and straight into his groin. "Do you think you'd be ok with laying down on the bed so I can work on your back better?"
"Um yeah, that'd be ok, sure." He moved away from Blaine, and started to lay down on the bed in front of him, grabbing a pillow to prop up his head.
"Uh, Kurt, if you'd be ok with it, it'd also be easier if your shirt was off." Blaine spoke in a hopeful whisper. He truly wasn't just trying to get in Kurt's pants. Massages worked much better without clothes to work through and Kurt was so tense all the time in school that even though he'd massaged him the night before, Kurt's back was already a mess of knots and tension.
Kurt, without really thinking about it, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled the thin t-shirt off in one pull. He was careful to keep his back to Blaine, mindful of the fact that he felt so exposed like this as well as the hard on he had developed practically in a second from hearing Blaine ask him to take his clothes off. He moved to lie down on the bed and got settled with a pillow propping his chest and head up so he could see Mulan.
Kurt felt Blaine straddle his butt and about died from anticipation and need and oh my god he was so hard and how was he ever going to get out of this room, when he remembered. Oh Shit.
Blaine couldn't believe the trust Kurt was showing in him. He was so beautiful, Kurt laying right front of him on his bed, just waiting for his touch. He had allowed Blaine to put one knee on either side of his body, so he could have better leverage in his back rub and Blaine couldn't believe he was in effect straddling this gorgeous person. He loved looking at the pale, beautiful boy in front of him. But then Blaine noticed. And a gasp of surprise and horror left his lips before he could stop it. Kurt's back was completely covered in marks. If he needed a reminder of the pain Kurt had been through at his old school, it was written all over his back in small scars, some obviously more recently acquired than others. Some of the marks were an angry red color showing their newness on his shoulders and others were more dusty pink and were probably from a few years ago. Blaine ghosted his fingers over them, making Kurt flinch at the sudden touch. "I'm so sorry Kurt, I had no idea it was this bad for you." Blaine whispered as his fingers traced the last of the marks.
Kurt tried to twist underneath Blaine's weight – "Don't they're ugly. I – I shouldn't have let you do this – let me up I wanna go." He attempted to move off the bed to escape Blaine's gaze and reached for his shirt to cover himself up. "This was a huge frickin mistake. I never should have let you see." Kurt wouldn't meet his eyes and looked positively wrecked with embarrassment and regret.
"Oh Kurt," Blaine sighed. "Stop. You don't understand." Blaine moved off of Kurt's hips, freeing the boy, not wanting him to feel restricted. He laid himself down right next to Kurt, and pulled him in, their faces inches apart on the Dalton issue comforter and their bodies aligned. "Hey - Don't worry. There is nothing even remotely ugly about you. They're part of you but they don't define you." He moved his hand up over Kurt's side and began to ghost his fingers over Kurt's back, comforting him and keeping the contact he so desperately wanted.
He noticed the tears threatening in Kurt's eyes, making the blue recesses shimmer in the faint light of the room. "Hey, hey none of that" Blaine whispered to him in low tone as he wiped away the first of the tears that had started to trickle down Kurt's blushing cheeks. "You have to remember that everyone has their own scars. Yours may just be more visible than others. And yours seem to be fading." Blaine thought of the long cut down his back and the small round circles that accompanied it all of which had resulted from that night at the Saddie Hawkins dance at his old school. "Hey, if it's ok, I'd like to show you something." His hand had never lost contact with Kurt's back, reassuring him he wasn't going anywhere, even more than his words did.
"Ok, I guess. I still think I should probably go," Kurt muttered, his eyes down cast and tears slowed, but still making tracks down his cheeks. "What is it you want to show me before I leave?"
Blaine sat up a little on the bed and twisted so his back was to Kurt. "I want you to look at my back for a second Kurt." Blaine started to pull up his shirt by the shoulders so it stayed on, but rode up in the back. At first Kurt was just overwhelmed, taking in the beautiful olive skin that was Blaine. He could see the fine curve and arch of his spine and he desperately wanted to reach out and touch it. He couldn't tear his eyes away from where the back of Blaine's pants met his skin and he could see barely a centimeter of his boxers (they were dark purple) and think "Oh my god that's Blaine's underwear oh my god oh my god." But as the shirt lifted, and Kurt let his gaze move up on Blaine's back, he started to see little round marks that were slightly lighter in color than the other parts of his skin. And then once Blaine's shirt was up to his shoulder blades, Kurt could truly assess what had happened to the other boy. An ugly raised scar tore across the perfectly shaped muscles on Blaine's back. It had to be at least eight inches from start to finish and was jagged and although whomever had stitched it up had tried, the scar was still not even and hadn't healed all that well.
"Oh my God, Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed in a hushed whisper, "What the hell happened to you?"
Sorry, sorry, I know I don't mean to leave you in anticipation, but the next chapter should be up in the next day or two. Reviews are love!