Chapter Five - Man to Maura

"You're wearing that?" asked Maura, as Jane came out from the bedroom.

"We've had this conversation before," quipped Jane. She was dressed in a pair of her more comfortable jeans, but with one of the nicer shirts Maura had gotten her. Maura stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. "Okay, what's wrong."

Maura looked and Jane's lower half. "Those jeans do nothing for you."

"So? It's not like I'm going on a date, Maura. So what if my ass doesn't look hot in these pants?"

Patiently Maura set down the crossword puzzle and pen to explain. "It's not about looking hot. It's about looking your best, which leads to feeling confident, when you go to tell your partners about something important to you. Didn't you buy another pair recently that you said made you feel like Wonder Woman in disguise? Those would be appropriate to wear. They'll give you that little boost of... of... badassery."

"You still can't swear without feeling awkward, can you?"

"Not fluently."

"All right," Jane replied as she bent down to give her lover a kiss on the cheek. "I'll go change the jeans." As she turned to go back to the bedroom, she gave Maura a once over. "Are you going to wear that when you see my brothers?"

Maura looked down at her own attire. In deference to the indecisive spring weather they'd been having, she was dressed in lightweight layers. Her dress was just bright enough to hint at the coming bloom, but the light jacket made sure to imply the casual, but serious nature of the luncheon. Brunch. "What's wrong? Do I have a stain?"

Holding her hands in front of her own chest, Jane pointed out, "It's kind of boobs-o'clock there, sweetie."

"Well, Jane, I have breasts, just like you."

"Not just like me." Jane's hands motioned towards her own breasts with a small gesture, then forward in Maura's direction with her hands shaping around two rather large hunks of air. "I don't want Tommy to be stuck on staring at them."

Maura brightened a bit too much for Jane's liking. "Do you think he would?"

"My brother."

"Right." Maura subdued her joy at being appreciated. "But I don't think they'll really be thinking about that at all, once I tell them."

Jane shook her head, "You know, there's a real good chance Tommy'd start thinking about that thing guys always think about." As soon as she saw Maura's expression, Jane took pity and spelled it out. "Two girls at the same time."

"Their sister."

"Oh, I know," Jane replied, her voice deeper with annoyance. "Which is why we shouldn't accidentally encourage those thoughts." She pointed at Maura's cleavage. "A little less today? At least until they get used to the whole idea of their sister banging the hottest woman in the state."

"I was going to let them get a good look today, and then tell them I was with you. My hypothesis is that they'll be so offended and grossed out by the idea that these are reserved for their sister that they'll stop thinking of my breasts as anything special. They'll be off limits, even in their own minds."

Jane crossed her arms and waited until, slightly miffed, Maura stomped towards the bedroom. "Oh, fine. Have it your way. I'll change. But this dress was the perfect balance of casual and serious. Now I have to redo my makeup and hair, too. If I'm late, I'm blaming you."

"Yeah, that's so not gonna help Tommy's imagination."

True to its name, Lorenzo d'Oregano smelled wonderful. It was that pleasing aroma of exotica meeting homey comfort, and other than her mother's cooking, which she was genetically compelled to feel was the best in the world, it was Jane's favorite place to get Italian.

"Rizzoli, party of three," she told the hostess, "and I'm not sure when my two friends will get here."

"Right behind you," came Korsak's voice from behind her, and Jane smiled, then got a flutter of nervousness in her stomach.

"Okay, well, we've got one more coming," Jane said as she turned back to the hostess, who seated them promptly at a fairly good table and left them with three menus, one at the empty spot.

Korsak looked nervous as well, fiddling with his menu and ordering a Virgin Mary. "Listen, Jane, can we talk real fast before Frost gets here?"

"Sure, Vince." Jane tried to keep her voice calm and casual. This was just lunch. Brunch. She was just going to tell her partners than she'd been keeping a secret from them for nearly two years. God. Jane covered her case of the nerves by downing half of her iced tea. Instead of launching into his topic du jour, Vince took time to put a napkin on his lap and swirl his celery stick in his drink. "Later that same day?" she grumbled.

Quirking a smile, Vince put his hands on the table. "It's about your mother, Angela." He swallowed visibly and stared at the backs of his hand. "I don't know... I like your mother, Jane."

"Yeah, so do most people. I think it helps when you're not related to her, though."

This won her a slight dirty look from Vince. "I mean, I like her, Jane. I - we went out to dinner a couple times since Christmas. You know, friends-like, but I was hoping maybe for..." He trailed off and glanced up at Jane's face. "More."

Jane lent back in her chair and regarded Vince Korsak. It wasn't that she didn't know about his infatuation with her mother. A newborn could have seen that coming. And she knew her mother felt the same way, at least a little, if those blushes meant anything. "Okay," she replied, slowly. Jane and Maura had spent not a few hours talking about the implications of Vince becoming 'family,' and both agreed that not only would it make Angela happy, but it might keep her out of their hair a little more.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. So you like my Ma, I kinda noticed."

Vince narrowed his eyes, "Jesus, Janie, why do you gotta make this hard? I'm trying to ask if you're okay with me asking your mother out on a real date. And... And if you think she'd want to date me."

Fighting back a smile, Jane nodded. "It's a lot easier if you just ask that, Vince, instead of beating around the bush." Vince snorted, but looked sheepish. "Look, if you like Ma, ask her out. She's a grown-ass woman. As long as you treat her right and make her happy, then that's what matters."

Now Vince lent back and regarded Jane. "Oh." They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other. "I don't think she likes me the way I like her."

Oh my god, I'm in high school again, thought Jane. "I kinda think she does, Vince."

Both of Vince's eyebrows went up. "So how come she never lets me drive her home?"

Jane would have slapped her head if she wasn't in public. Because she doesn't want you to see her daughter's car parked outside Maura's place every night. But she couldn't say that just yet. Where the hell was Frost anyway? "That's... Um. That's why I wanted to talk to you and Barry, actually, Vince." Jane looked over to the door. "I promise you, it's not you."

"Oh," he said again. Eloquent Vince was not.

They were spared getting further down that rabbit hole by Barry's arrival. Pleat-front dockers, long-sleeved collared shirt, and a sweater vest. An argyle sweater vest. "Really, Barry?" What was it about people and clothes today, anyway? At least Korsak had worn jeans and a casual button down, like Jane.

"What?" Barry asked. "Hey, if you don't want to see weekend me, you don't ask me to come to brunch on a weekend." He took the empty seat at table, nodding thanks as their waiter filled all their glasses with ice water, and picked up his menu. He'd pick something before the waiter was through with the other two. First things first. Big important Jane discussions would have to come after he was assured of a meal.

"Oh, um," Vince hurried to check the menu. "Denver omelette with the toast instead of hash browns, and some orange juice. Please."

Jane echoed, "That sounds good, but could I have apple... No, never mind. Orange juice for me, too."

Barry had thought both of them would take a bit longer, but apparently they'd gotten themselves together better than he'd thought they would. "Uh. Steak and eggs and a tomato juice."

"Really?" Jane murmured with an arched eyebrow.

Barry smiled smugly. "You said you were buying. Hell yes, I'm having steak and eggs." All three of them handed over their menus to the server, who disappeared with a smirk. Now she knew who to set the check in front of later. "So, what's up, Jane? You pregnant?"

"For Chrissakes, no. I told you that on Friday. I swear, if-"

Barry broke into her frustrated near-rant. "Relax. I'm messing with you. I know you're not pregnant, but seriously, what's going on?"

Here it was. Both men leaned forward, hanging onto whatever words they expected to come out of her lips, and Jane suddenly didn't have any to give them. She reached for her water glass to moisten her dry mouth, hoping Maura was having a better time of it with her brothers across town.

Maura settled into her seat at the best rib-joint in Boston. According to Maura. Jane had suggested a different place, Hog Heaven, but Maura put her foot down and said the only restaurant with plastic tableclothes she would visit was Captain Tony's for the spuckies, and she would only go with Jane. That was how she'd selected her own personal favorite rib joint. It wasn't too upscale, so the boys wouldn't feel out of place, and it had lighter fare for Maura to enjoy, since she wasn't about to eat ribs for brunch.

As the waiter came to pour her a water glass, Maura smiled her thanks and added aloud, "There will be two gentlemen joining me. Both have dark hair, olive skin, and are fairly well muscled."

"Lucky you," the waiter winked as he put out extra menus at the booth.

Maura was quick to try to dissuade him, "N-no, not... not... They're friends. Just friends. Something like relatives." How else would one explain the brothers of one's lover?

The waiter sighed dramatically. "Honey, let a single guy dream, would you? In my head, they're your boyfriends, and you're actually me. By the way, love your hair."

Maura chuckled; this was why she liked coming to Hector's. Their food was only slightly less fabulous than their wait staff. "Thank you so much. Anyway, when they get here, their names are Rizzoli, and they'll be looking for Maura. I don't know if they'll be coming separately or together. Oh, and later, the check is for me. I'm treating them."

"Okay, my fantasy no longer has me as you," replied the waiter with another wink. "I never pay." He sailed away like a ship on its maiden voyage. Maura decided she was quite in love with him. In the non-romantic way, of course. Soon he was back with two more water glasses, but before she could even say thank you, he had whirled off again, leaving Maura to wonder whether the ballet lessons as a child had been his mother's idea, or his own.

The brusque voice of the youngest Rizzoli intruded her thoughts. "Man, that guy is light on his feet," he remarked, dropping into a chair with much the same casual grace as his sister. "This is a nice dive, Maura," he added, giving her an extremely obvious once over. "Looking good as always."

"Thank you," Maura said, rising to give him a half-hug of the same type Jane usually did with her brothers and partners. Not quite a guy-hug, with the single arm out to the side, but she was a little off center in relation to Tommy, and it was mostly arms and shoulders, not chests. "As are you."

It was true. Tommy, like all the Rizzolis, was an attractive person, and he cleaned up nicely when he wanted to put in the effort. "Come sit down. I noticed that they have all manner of barbecue here. Beef, pork, lamb, chicken. Sauce or dry rub." They also had corn on the cob and other messy finger foods, fried chicken, chicken-fried steaks, regular steaks, and a much wider selection of vegetable dishes than anyone had a right to expect of a rib joint that was basically an upscale version of a neighborhood party on a holiday weekend. "Doesn't it smell lovely?"

Tommy nodded, looking around, and resisting the urge to fix his collar or tuck in his shirt. "Yeah, I was a little worried me and Frankie'd be out of place. But Janie said we'd be fine wearing Sunday dinner stuff." Shifting in his seat, Tommy cleared his throat, "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Maura's surprise might be to blame for her immediate, muttered response. "That would be a trick, wouldn't it?" Then she cleared her throat and raised her voice, smiling. "I mean, no, that's not why I've asked you here. I'd rather not say until you're both here, though, if that's okay. It might be easier. For me."

Thoughtfully, Tommy sipped his water. "Okay," he replied slowly. While his siblings were the police officers, Tommy was no mental slouch. He hadn't grown up with Janie and Frankie and not learned a few tells in people, and since he'd gotten to know Maura, he felt he could read her a little too. "Frankie said he might be a little late, though, so if you got anything you want to tell me first, now's the time."

Maura hesitated. News first, then a personal apology to Tommy later? No, if she was going to do this properly, she had to clear the slate first before writing on it anew. "Since you bring it up, there is something I'd rather not address with Frankie here. I was going to hope for a chance to talk to you later about it, but perhaps this is better. I wanted to say..." What? What did she want to say?

As Maura stalled, clearly stumped, Tommy offered a slice of his father's advice, "Pop says to always start at the beginning. So how about I go first?" He coughed once and then said, "You know I like you. And I know you don't like me the same way." Apology filled her expression as Maura nodded acceptance of Tommy's sentiment. "It's okay." He grinned at Maura. "But if you tell me you're gonna start dating Frankie, I might have to beat him up."

"Frankie?" Maura repeated, surprised. She'd never even considered that option. Truthfully, she hadn't considered Tommy either, except during the brief and few moments in which he'd put himself forward: she was just so focused on Jane. Was that even something she'd have to think about? Frankie didn't feel that way about her, did he? She hoped not. It was hard enough hurting Tommy's feelings, and they hadn't even known one another all that long at the time when he'd attempted to kiss her. Wrong Rizzoli. Either brother was the wrong Rizzoli. "Um. No, but funny you should ask..."

"You're acting kind of scattered," noticed Tommy and he frowned. It was the same frown of concern that Jane got. "Janie said you were friends with Father Brophy. That's gotta be messing you up."

"Yes," Maura accepted the excuse with gratitude, "I am a bit distracted."

Tommy nodded, accepting this at face value. "We can always put this off..." He caught the look of agitation on Maura's face and nodded again. "But you kind of want to get this out of the way? Right. Easiest thing is to just say it outloud, you know. Like 'Hey, Tommy, I'm having the Man-to … Maura talk with you, cause I'm dating your sister.' Right?"

Hazel eyes widened. "What?" Intellectually Maura had known that all the Rizzolis were too clever by half. They understood people, two of them were very good cops, one of them... well, at least Tommy had been smart enough to keep himself out of bodily harm, even while immersed in criminal enterprises. (Even she was not naive enough to think that he'd been a saint before getting drunk and driving into a priest, nor since getting out of prison. He had recognized her biological father on sight, for one thing.) But having that innate perceptiveness directed at herself was uncomfortable, and having him guess what they'd kept hidden from almost everyone for most of two years was positively eerie. "How on earth...?"

"Learned it from my sister," Tommy said with a bit of justifiable pride.

Maura's ears turned pink. "You learned well. I'm impressed." She took a deep breath; embarrassment would not serve anyone, especially with Frankie not even here yet, and still yet to be told. "Is it... Are you... Are you okay with this?"

"Better Janie than Frankie," he admitted. "I mean, I knew you weren't into me when you wanted to wash dishes instead of kiss me." Tommy added a wink into his comment, taking any possible edge out of his words. Both in apology and in an upwelling of filial affection, Maura lay her hand atop Tommy's and gave it a squeeze. He returned it. "I was worried it was Frankie for a while, but I started watching you and him at dinners, and you weren't looking at Frankie all the time." He grinned broadly, pleased to have deduced something and impressed Maura. "You and Janie are real good at keeping it quiet, though, don't get me wrong. I bet… Oh god, Ma." Tommy's skin went a little pale. "Look, I don't know what Janie's told you, but Ma doesn't really go in for, you know, homosexuality? She thinks it's an abomination." He looked apologetic and sympathetic. "I don't, but Ma's real gung-ho for the Church sometimes."

This time, Maura did have a response, but she didn't get a chance to give it. The uniformed Frankie Rizzoli Jr. was escorted in by the fabulous waiter, who indeed gave Maura a broad wink before asking for their drink orders.

Once everyone had greeted one another, perused the menus, and chit-chatted until having their drinks delivered and orders taken, Maura felt her nervousness return. Perhaps she could say that she just wanted to spend time with them. That was true. She quite liked both Rizzoli brothers, and seldom got to be around them when their mother and sister weren't there as well.

But no. Tommy already knew the situation, and it wouldn't be fair to keep it from Frankie any longer. Therefore, when Frankie looked at her expectantly and asked her what was up, she could not stall any longer. Or so she thought. Mouth dry, she reached for her water glass, hoping with part of her mind that Jane was finding her own conversation easier.

Jane studied the backs of her hands carefully for longer than she wanted to. This should be easy. It shouldn't be a big deal. But it felt like a huge thing. Bigger than it was with her mother. Possibly because she'd taken so long to say this. "Okay, guys. I'm moving. This weekend."

Looking up just in time to catch her partners staring at each other, Jane smiled a little. The three of them were, so often, in sync, it was good the boys were somewhat on the same page. It was easier. "That's it?" asked Vince, obviously not thinking it was.

"No. It's not. It's... I'm moving because I'm moving in with... with someone."

Korsak's eyebrows shot up. "Shit, not Dean!"

"God, Vince, no," groaned Jane, and Barry started to laugh. "No, I'm not dating Dean. Or- Or Casey," she added, holding a finger up to Barry. But here she stalled again. "I should have told you guys before. I've been seeing somebody for a while now."

Shaking his head, Barry applied himself to his steak, "I knew it. I told you, Vince. She's not half as grumpy as she used to be. Pay up."

"You ain't won yet," Vince replied, stubborn, and gestured at Jane with his toast. "So you've got a secret guy, only now you're moving in so you want to tell us. Okay, I can get that. How long?"

Jane's eyes dropped to her plate. She didn't even have the wherewithal to ask what was up with the bet. "Over a year. Year and a half." Both men were staring at her. That was a long time to keep something hidden. "And it's... Um. Crap. It's not a guy. It's Maura."

There was silence from her partners for all of ten seconds. They just kept looking at her. It was weird. That is, until Barry repeated himself. "A'ight, now pay up."

With a sigh, Vince reached for his wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill. "Shut up."

Barry opened his mouth.

"I said shut up."

Barry just grinned and turned back to Jane, who now was the one with her mouth hanging open. "How long did you say? Year and a half? What month?"

"Uh." Jane debated internally. Was he asking when they first started going out, or when they... Then she realized what was really going on here. "Oh. Forget it. Caroline from Dispatch won the pool. Everybody owes her twenty each. Now that you two know, I'm going to let her collect."

"How do you know she won?" Vince argued.

"Easy," replied Jane as their food came with what she felt was stellar timing. "She told me all about the pool the minute she figured it out, and whose names were in the hat, and who had what date."

"But how did she know?" This time it was Barry, who was already digging into his steak.

Jane couldn't stop the little smirk from tugging the corner of her lips to the side. "We answered each other's phones."

"I," Maura began, pausing for another sip of water. She could not get her mouth to be anything but dry. "I want to tell you..." She'd meant both of them, but her focus was primarily on Frankie; Tommy's reaction was already secured. She reached for his hand instinctively, hoping for some reassurance.

It was the wrong thing to do. Frankie's glance between them told her that. Quickly, she removed her hand from Tommy's and set it back on the napkin in her lap.

That was enough for Frankie to piece together something. "You and Tommy?" His expression darkened. "Tommy, man, how could you-"

"I didn't." Tommy was definite on the matter. "We had a deal, remember? I don't go back on my word. Not anymore."

Maura's brows lifted. "What kind of deal?"

Frankie's eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together into a thin, tight, line. "Womb to tomb, birth to earth, brothers first." It sounded like one of those childish promises Jane always talked about. "Maura's..." Frankie paused and looked at Maura, "We agreed you were off limits."

"Oh, dear," murmured Maura, and she looked at Tommy, concerned.

"No, don't worry. It's not part of the deal," he assured her. "Frankie, I swear on my life, may I never eat Ma's cooking again, I didn't. It's not me. Me and Maura are just friends, relax."

Looking a little relieved, Frankie did relax. "Like Janie and Maura, okay."

Now Tommy looked concerned, and glanced at Maura. "Uh, not so much."

This time it was Frankie's arm on which Maura laid a sisterly hand. "That's what I wanted to tell you. Not like Jane and me." Meaning suffused her expression. For someone so occasionally awful at using words, she was startlingly good at communicating without them.

Frankie all but leaped backward out of his seat. "Aw, Maura, no!" He yanked his arm away as if stung.

Well, at least he understands what I'm talking about now, sighed Maura. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Frankie." She was not going to pin this entirely on Jane, as the situation was far more complicated than just that. "But since we're going to be moving in together, Jane and I thought both of you should know."

The two brothers had opposite reactions. Tommy was openly delighted and hooted, clapping Maura on the shoulder. "That's great! Hey, welcome to the family! Guess this makes you our sister-in-law now." Maura smiled in relief to hear that; it meant that it was very unlikely that his attentions would wander below her neck in the future. She'd be firmly off limits. If only Frankie's reaction had been as accepting.

Later on she would remind him that until and unless she married Jane, she wouldn't really be their sister-in-law. But that was a conversation for some time after she and Jane discussed the idea themselves. Later. Right now, she turned towards Frankie to gauge his adjustment to the news.

Frankie's face shut down, closed off and disturbingly unfriendly, completely unlike his normal expression. Frankie was just too quiet, and even Maura could see something was wrong. "Frankie? Frankie, I... What is it that's upset you, exactly? And is there anything I can do to help?"

"You guys are okay with this?" asked Jane, relieved on so many levels that her partners were comfortable enough with this to have made friendly bets.

"It's like this," Vince began philosophizing, smearing his toast with butter and jelly. "You shouldn't have had to tell us. We should just know these things, because you never should've had to hide it from us. We should've been seeing signs of it all along. The rest of the world should be fine with this, but even if they weren't, you gotta always know we're good with you. We're your partners, Jane. That's more than just protecting each other on the job. I know you know that, I taught you that, but it better start sinking in now. All right? So, yeah. If you want to let this get around, we'll make sure people know they don't have a right to mess with you. If you want to hold onto it for a while longer, we won't say anything. Right, Barry?"

While Vince filled his mouth with more omelette, Barry replied, "Yeah. I mean the way you and Maura keep looking at each other. You've been having eye sex at the precinct for years!" Both Jane and Vince stared at Barry. "What? They totally were! I kept thinking there would be little ocular lady-babies popping out any day now."

Vince snorted, "You're weird, Barry."

"I thought you'd be kind of..." started Jane, and she trailed off. Anna had implied that Barry might be a harder sell on this.

"Yeah, maybe once. But I think I'm getting to be less my old man's son these days." Barry shrugged. "I respect you, Jane. I like you. And if you and Maura are happy, then that's what matters. Right?"

Jane grinned at Barry. "Yeah, yeah that's right." She glanced at Vince, who was also smiling. "Oh, uh, listen, Barry. Anna knows." As the boys complained that Anna had found out before them, Jane carried on, "It was an accident. But if you hear this rumor from the Feebies that I shouted at Dean that I was a big old Gayzzoli, well, that's true."

Both men shut up and stared at each other. Finally Barry muttered "Shit, I thought that was a joke behind your back. I nearly hit that guy."

"Glad you didn't. But thanks for having my back," Jane said, feeling more comfortable, "even though what he said was true."

Barry grinned. "You always have my back when people mention I'm black."

"Holy shit, you're black?" asked Jane with exaggerated surprise, to the general amusement of her partners. "How long has that been going on?"

"Yeah, and you always bite people back," Vince added as he stopped chuckling, "when they say I'm old and fat."

"Hey, you're losing weight." Jane hadn't let it go by without noticing. "When did that start, anyway?"

It was Vince's turn to clear his throat. "'Bout the time your mom started going to yoga with Maura."

"So," Barry brought them back to the topic at hand, "you need help moving tomorrow?"

Frankie's eyes were locked on the menu. "You know... Maura, thanks for taking us out to tell us. But I'm not hungry. I've got to think about this." He stood up. "I'm not mad, I'm just..." Shaking his head, Frankie turned and walked out.

This was not going well at all. Maura looked at Tommy, who seemed incredibly embarrassed. "I don't know what the hell that was about," he told Maura. "But Frankie's like Pop. When he gets mad, he keeps it all up inside."

"Was he mad?" wondered Maura, looking after Frankie. "He said he wasn't."

Tommy sighed, "He sure wasn't happy, Maura. I'm sorry."

"At least it's out there now. I'll warn Jane so she knows what to expect. I went about it all wrong, didn't I? I shouldn't have... No, I should... I don't know what I could have done." Maura's lips pursed as she thought about the implications of his reaction. "That was actually a lot closer to what I thought your mother's reaction was going to be. Thank goodness for Angela."

This surprised Tommy, "Ma knows already? And she's okay with it? Really? Man, I didn't see that coming." He shook his head. "Look, you didn't do anything wrong, Maura. Whatever's making Frankie pissed off is in his own head. You can tell Janie when you get home... Or are we not gonna eat? Because you were right, the food here smells almost as good as Ma's."

"Speaking of which," Maura noted their waiter's return, this time laden with three plates of food. "Let me just text Jane quickly and give her the short version. Um..." She eyed Frankie's plate. "Could you wrap this up? Our third person needed to leave, but there's no sense in letting it go to waste. Thank you." The waiter swooped up the plate again and was off, graceful as a gazelle. Left with Tommy, Maura smiled weakly. "I wish Frankie hadn't taken it so hard, but I'm glad you're okay. Thank you, Tommy."

Tommy shrugged and picked up the first rib. He bit in with a near orgasmic expression, "Oh my god, that's good." Chowing down, Tommy explained, after his first rib was devoured in record time, "I spent time in prison, Maura. I'm not going to get hung up about my big sister being in love with a hottie." He paused and winced, "Aw, crap, there went that fantasy!"

When Will Smith was talking about filming 'Hitch,' he had an amusing anecdote about the time he kissed Kevin Smith in public. Apparently someone was walking by and shouted, "Aw, Will, man! No!" at them. Of the kiss, Kevin James said "I'm not a gay man, but I will say this: I get it now. I know what all the hype is about."

Reviews will help Frankie get over it.