Short chap here! Others will be longer onwards.
About two months after being selfishly abandoned by his only friends, Ivan stood up, swaying slightly, and walked out of his house.
Arriving at his work, people around him gasped in horror at his bloodshot eyes, his greasy hair matted and messy, and mostly at the familiar insanity that had been thought to have long since faded.
Only one man saw it, and smiled at it. One man who knew exactly how to use it.
"Ivan," said the man, "I have a solution that I am sure you will find satisfactory. You will, of course, recognise it, and I have made my own improvements and adjustments, but all in all, I think it is perfect for your situation."
He had dark brown hair, this man, and eyes to match with an emotionless stare and a posture that spoke of efficiency. As Ivan considered him he noticed the office was as empty as its owner. There was only a simple desk, and a few filing cabinets behind him. A large file sat in the middle of the desk.
The man handed the weighty file toward Russia, and Russia, flicking through it, smiled wider than the man.
"This is perfect." He said. "I will have to take it back with me to study further. That will be all for now."
Without further ado, Ivan marched out of the office and the man smiled again, a flicker of the same insanity sparking in his eyes.
Arriving home, Ivan dumped the file on his sofa, and went straight to the cupboards for vodka. Having obtained some, he sat down, and read the title, chuckling.
USSR: IMPROVED
By Pavel Ilaynov
Approved by Pavel Ilyanov, President of the Russian Federation.
Review?
...flames will be used to stoke your funeral pyre.