Small Things- Chapter Three: A Crime Scene
Javier Esposito was worried. He'd finished his paperwork and was waiting in the now empty bullpen for his partner to turn up. The college was a ten minute drive way and Kevin had only been going to ask some routine questions about the attack on David Brookson. Three hours later Javier was starting to worry about the location of his lover. He was already regretting letting the other man go alone to the interview. If it hadn't been routine procedure he would have insisted instead of giving up so easily when the other man had said he didn't need backup. Another minute ticked past on the clock and Javier gave up and flicked out his phone. He might be interrupting Kevin's interview and the other man might be pissed at him but he would risk it. When the phone rang and rang without an answer his anxiety crept up another notch. Kevin always answered his phone. Always. He tried not to give in to full blown panic as he dialled Beckett's number. It was possible that Kevin was with her after picking up a juicy lead. He hoped like hell that that was the explanation here. An uneasy feeling in his gut warned him that the evening wasn't going to have the happy ending he was hoping for.
"Hello?" Beckett's voice was dulled by sleep and Javier realised with a sinking heart that there was no way his partner was there if Beckett had been asleep before picking up the phone. As clearly and quickly as he could he explained his fears. By the end of the discussion Beckett was completely awake and her voice on the phone was grim. "Did you try Castle?" she asked but they both knew that if Kevin had found anything he would have gone to one of the two detectives first. "Call him." Beckett said crisply "I'll pick him up on the way in. See you in twenty minutes."
The phone ringing cut Richard Castle off mid-sentence. Alexis absently handed him the phone he was fumbling to find and watched as the smile on his face drained away to be replaced by a serious look that her father rarely wore.
"I'm coming down," he said to whoever was calling, Beckett probably, "Give me two minutes." He was already reaching for his coat as he hung up the phone. "Ryan's missing," he said by way of explanation as he was walking out the door "Beckett's giving me a lift. Hopefully it's nothing but…" he didn't finish the sentence and the two women closed their eyes at the implication behind that "but". Alexis looked close to tears as the door closed behind him and Martha wrapped her arms around the young woman.
"They'll find him," She said reassuringly but she couldn't deny that a chill had come over her as well. She was not usually religious but she still sent up a quick prayer for the Irish detective who she had grown rather fond of.
Castle, Beckett and Esposito half ran down the steps of the college where their partner had last been. The secretary had told them that their colleague had left over two hours ago. It was only as an afterthought that she added that she thought Ryan had gone in the direction of the car park where Tye Malloy had been found. Castle was tapping his phone against his palm until it started working.
"Ryan's phone is in range," he said "lowest level of the car park." Usually the gadgets and apps on the writer's phone fascinated Esposito but he was already headed for the nearby structure; Beckett's long legs enabling her to keep up with him easily. The writer followed them and didn't miss the look that passed between the two of them as they pulled out their guns. Once again he regretted the laws that made it impossible for him to carry his own firearm. He would have liked a weapon right then.
There was a burning in his muscles but Javier ignored it. He was going as fast as he could and only Beckett's hushed order stopped him at the entrance to the car park.
"Take left," she whispered "I've got right. Castle, take my radio. Call this in and be ready to request an ambulance if I shout." None of them voiced the thought that he might be calling for a morgue van. Some things didn't bear thinking about. They had worked their way around two thirds of the place before Beckett caught sight of something that had her heart thudding painfully in her chest. Casting a glance around the rest of the nearly deserted car park she made her way across to Kevin's abandoned car. Esposito was nearly there and could obviously see something that she couldn't. Rounding the car she had to fight the urge to be ill. Violence was a part of her everyday life but this was… brutal. She had no other word for it. Kevin Ryan lay in a pool of his own blood. He was so battered that she had difficulty recognising the face she saw every day at work. He lay crumpled with his limbs sticking out at awkward angles. Esposito's face was stricken as he dropped to his knees to search for a pulse. She was already screaming for the writer to call an ambulance and a CSI team.
The weak throb of a pulse in the other man's neck had tears filling Javier's eyes. He moved as close to the unconscious man as he could and pulled of his jacket to try and warm his partner. The material started soaking blood up almost immediately but he didn't even notice the stains. His hands fluttered as he searched for an unharmed place on his lover to touch but he found nowhere. The desperate need for contact had him holding the other man's hand, where scraped and bloody knuckles were evidence that he had fought, and fought hard. Even with his Special Forces experience and after years as a cop Javier had never seen someone with injuries as extensive as these who was still breathing. And Kevin was barely breathing. He wanted to do something to help but was afraid to move the other man at all. In the end all he could do was sit, holding his partner's hand and listening for the sound of the sirens that would herald the arrival of the ambulance. He barely noticed Beckett and Castle pulling off their coats to add to what he'd wrapped around Kevin. When the ambulance arrived there was no argument about who would be riding with the injured man. The medics who arrived at the scene were not hopeful. He could see it in their eyes. But he clung stubbornly to his hope and to the cold pale hand of his lover.
There were one hundred and forty four tiles in the roof of the waiting room that Javier was sat in. Eleven of these tiled were cracked and one seemed to be held together by something that looked like duct tape. He knew this because he'd counted them. Four times. His mind was numb and all he could see behind his eyes was his lover's pale, blood- streaked face. The hand that landed on his shoulder surprised him and he flinched violently. A little pile of polystyrene confetti that had once been a coffee cup shifted from his knees and fluttered towards the floor like the final flutter of a dying bird's wings.
"Espo?" Her voice was quiet and he didn't have to look at her to know that her face would be pinched and drawn. "You with me?" she asked him. He shifted in his seat to look at her.
"Sure," he said. His voice was hoarse and his eyes red- rimmed. She had never seen him in a state like this. Even after the horrors he had faced as a Special Forces soldier he had managed to hold things together. But now he was falling apart and all she could do was watch and try to help him in any way she could.
"He's gonna be OK," she told him. They both knew that she was most likely lying. The doctors had been very honest about their fallen partner's chances and they had nothing to do except wait for news about the surgery.
"Beckett." Castle was pulling a chair over from the other side of the room for Martha to sit down. Neither cop had seen the family arrive.
"I told you to go home and get some rest," Beckett said tiredly.
"I went home," the writer replied "But we all decided that it was best if we were here."
"We wanted to wait for him as well." Alexis added. Beckett noticed how tired Castle's daughter looked and realised that she didn't know what time it was. Late, probably.
"Any news?" asked Martha and closed her eyes on a tired sigh when Beckett shook her head.
"His chances aren't good," said Javier emotionlessly. "He might make it. Probably won't."
"You listen to me," Martha said firmly. Gently, but firmly. "Our Kevin is a fighter and he's got plenty to fight for. There is no way he'll give up on us. There is no way he'll give up on you. You have the right to be upset but don't let it win. He wouldn't want that and you know that's true." For a second the Hispanic detective looked stricken but after a moment some of the life came back into his eyes. He surprised himself and Castle when he reached up to hug the other man's mother.
"Thanks," he muttered, breathing in the smell of her no doubt expensive perfume. His mother had never worn a scent like that but for some reason he was still reminded of her.
"Family of Detective Kevin Ryan?" The question came from the doorway and they turned to see a blonde woman in hospital scrubs walking into the room. Her face was grim and Javier's heart somehow sank lower in his chest.
"Is he…" he began but couldn't end the sentence. The woman's face softened slightly but her expression didn't make the Hispanic cop feel any better.
"He's alive," she said gently "But I have to be honest with you- it doesn't look good for him. We've made him as comfortable as we can but his injuries are extensive. I'm sorry but we'll most likely lose him. It all depends on the next twenty- four hours and how strong he is."
"He's strong," Beckett said quietly. Her eyes were red but she wasn't crying. "He can get through this. We're not going to lose him."
"You'll know him best," the doctor agreed "If you have any questions then ask for Dr. Monroe at reception. I have several patients I need to see."
"Can we see him?" Castle asked. His face was drawn and his usual half smile was gone. It was strange, Javier thought, to see him so serious. Everything that was normal about his world had been turned upside down and he couldn't find his bearings anymore. His heart was stuttering out an uneven rhythm in his chest and he was barely able to focus on the woman's answer.
"You can visit him but remember that his injuries were extensive." The doctor said gently. "I'll have a nurse show you the room. Please make it just a few minutes if you're all going to visit him. Only one person at a time can sit with him for more than that."
"Thank you," Beckett said. She turned to Esposito and something inside her wrenched. He looked lost and afraid. "Espo?" she asked, tentatively touching his shoulder. Something about the way he held himself made her irrationally afraid that he might shatter under her fingertips.
"My name is Nurse Lindsey. Are you the family of Detective Kevin Ryan?" A brisk female voice attracted their attention and a petite woman came to stand in front of them. At their nods she smiled reassuringly "Please follow me. He's in a room just down the hall."
When they reached the room she paused outside the door.
"He's attached to quite a few devices so we can monitor him as closely as possible. The sight can be quite alarming but as long as you don't touch anything then it'll be OK."
"How long can we wait with him?" asked Javier. He was surprised at how calm his own voice sounded. The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile.
"There's room for one person to stay for a while," said the nurse "But whoever it is will need to be ready to get out of the way fast if the doctors need access to the patient." Javier shifted uncomfortably. The patient. It was too impersonal; as though she didn't care who he was; as though she didn't care that he was everything.
They trooped through the door that the nurse had indicated and for a moment Javier couldn't make sense of what he saw. The muddle of tubes and flashing lights was bewildering and he could barely see his lover's face amongst it all. Beckett was the first to step to the injured man's bedside. She reached out a hand and Javier noticed the tiny tremor in her fingers that told him as loudly as any words that she was afraid.
"Hey," she breathed the word to the unconscious cop. "I'm gonna kick your butt when you're better, you know. You've got us worried." She smoothed her hand over his hair, like a mother comforting a feverish child. She looked like she wanted to say more but the words escaped her and she stepped away from the bed. Lanie took her place and Javier absently wondered when she had arrived. He hadn't noticed.
"What she has planned for you," the ME said calmly "will look like a walk in the park compared to what I have in mind," she continued. The gentle grip she had on the Kevin's hand made it clear that her threats were empty- as did the feather light kiss that she brushed across his unbandaged forehead. She stepped out of the way to make room for the writer and his family.
"I'm not gonna threaten you," announced Castle "I'll leave that to the supposedly gentler sex." He frowned down at the motionless figure on the bed. "Get better quick, OK. It'll be boring without you there to tease." His mother and daughter made slightly watery sounds of exasperation and reached out to squeeze Kevin's hand gently.
"Times up," the nurse, Javier had already forgotten her name, announced from the doorway. "Will one of you be staying?"
"Yeah," he said quietly, glancing around to check no one minded. To his relief they all looked ready to back him up. He should have known that they'd understand his need to be there without him actually needing to say it out loud.
"Are you a relative?" asked the nurse. What the hell was her name?
"I'm his partner," he told her. He watched her eyes widen slightly and flick between him and the man on the bed. "His lover," he clarified and there was no mistaking the shock that briefly flicked across her face before the smile returned. It was slightly different to before; a mask to hide disapproval rather than to portray professionalism.
"I'll bring back some paperwork for you to sign," she said, holding open the door for the rest of them to file out. Castle was the last to leave and Javier was shocked into smiling slightly when the other man made a rude face at the back of the oblivious nurse's head. The door closed with a click and he still didn't move. Couldn't move. The walls he'd built up were crashing down around his ears and he didn't know what to do.
"Your paperwork," said the nurse as she came back in. Her smiling mask was firmly in place as she handed the sheets over. He signed what was necessary and noted down a few of Kevin's mild allergies. "Thank you," she smiled and turned to leave with the smile draining from her face the moment she thought she was far enough away for him not to see. He couldn't care less about her opinion on his relationship. Taking the few stumbling steps required to place him at Kevin's bedside and staring down at his lover, trying to find words, he felt stupid. He had no idea what to say.
"Kev," he started but his voice cracked. "Shit," he swore, sinking to his knees at the side of the bed. He wrapped his fingers around the other man's hand and wished more than anything that he felt an answering squeeze. "I'm sorry," he whispered "I'm so sorry, mi amante. I wasn't there. I didn't have your back. I'm sorry." There was no response from the other cop and he wiped deliberately rough fingers over his eyes. "Don't you dare leave me, Kevin Ryan," he whispered, leaning up to brush a gentle kiss over the other man's lips. Wearily he dragged himself into the hard backed chair he was kneeling beside and leaned his head against the wall. Closing his eyes he focused on the hand he was holding. If he ignored the slight roughness of bandages against his fingertips he could just about pretend that everything was going to be OK. "We'll get through this," he told the other man. "I'm here til the wheels fall of Kev. Probably even after that too." The words didn't sound as comforting as he wanted them to be and he allowed himself a moment of anger at the bastards who had put them in this position. I will find you, he thought viciously, and heaven help you when I do.
The buzz and beep of medical machines filled the room as Javier sat waiting for his partner to wake up. He was exhausted but knew that sleep would only bring nightmares and a desperate, guilty part of him didn't want to stop watching over the other man. Didn't want to fail him again simply by not being there. So he watched and ignored the gritty feeling behind his eyes in favour of keeping guard over his lover's limp body.