"What do you want to talk about?" Olivia said intrepidly and moved toward the couch.
"Sit."
Olivia sat.
"Okay, I'm sitting. Now what?"
"You're not going to like the next thing I have to say, but I want you to remain sitting and hear me out."
"You're freaking me out, Natalia, what happened?"
"Emma saw Philip today."
"WHAT? How? Where? Where is she? Is she okay?" Olivia began standing up but Natalia caught her arm and firmly pulled her back down.
"Calm. Please. She's fine. Like I said earlier, she's staying with Jane for the night."
"Why didn't you bring her home? Natalia! You know he's dangerous. What happened?"
"Just give me a minute to explain, okay?"
"Okay, be quick," Olivia said, putting her trust in Natalia and holding back her burning desire to run barefooted all the way to the babysitter's house to collect her daughter.
"Earlier today I remembered you had a lot of business meetings… or I thought you did. So, I called Jane to make sure Emma had been taken care of. She told me you called and set things up, but she also told me you sounded drunk when you called."
"Maybe a little," Olivia said sheepishly. Or maybe a lot. She'd called right after leaving the company of Shayne and Edmund and was having trouble walking down the sidewalk. She didn't want her little girl seeing her like that, so she had called Jane.
"Uh huh," Natalia said disapprovingly. "Well, I went on to ask how the two had spent the day and Jane sounded hesitant. I prodded her a little and she told me that she and Emma ran into Philip while they were getting ice cream."
"That bastard! I'll kill him!" Olivia said, as if running into Emma while she ate ice cream was all a part of his diabolical scheme.
"Olivia," Natalia admonished, "Just calm down. If I thought Emma was in any kind of danger I wouldn't be sitting here right now. Anyway, I doubt he could have planned it. Jane said he was very surprised and let them leave without argument."
"He's sneaky like that. He acts nice and sane, and then just when you start to trust him he goes batshit crazy and kidnaps the whole town."
"People change, Olivia. I'm not saying he has, but people can and do change."
"So I hear." Olivia said with a grumpy sigh. "That still doesn't explain… why didn't you bring her home?"
"You're drunk."
"Ah. That. I'm actually feeling pretty sober now." She knew she was actually far from sober, but she wasn't going to be falling off her chair any time soon either.
"Uh huh. And how were you feeling about," Natalia looked at her watch, "about 4 hours ago?"
Olivia took a moment to remember what was happening 4 hours ago. That was right about the time she got home, stumbled upstairs to change, stumbled back down, and put Led Zeppelin on the stereo. She was drunk off her ass and opening another beer 4 hours ago, but did Natalia really need to know that? Did Natalia really need to know she'd planned to stop drinking and get a cup of coffee at Company before picking up her little girl, but when she got there she saw Frank and Natalia and a kiss that tore at her heart and sent her feet to the closest store for a six pack?
"Uhh, why?" she asked, avoiding the question lamely.
"I was at Company with the Coopers when a very drunk Edmund and Shayne happened to stop in for coffee."
"Ohhh," Olivia laughed sheepishly. "I may have spent some time with them this afternoon."
"Uh huh. And they told us allll about it."
Olivia cringed.
"All about how they found you on a desk in a sexy little black dress. And how you chugged whiskey from the bottle. And there was something about a video game that was so funny they couldn't even get through the story without breaking into uncontrolled laughter."
Olivia stared at Natalia. She didn't know what to say, she felt bad on so many levels, especially after hearing what happened with Emma, but there was still a side of her that wanted to get angry and ask Natalia just who she thought she was. If she wanted to go out and drink whiskey from the bottle and get drunk with men all day long every day that was her own business and no one else's.
"So? Yeah, I went out and got drunk and had some fun with a couple of old friends. Is there something wrong with doing that? Sometimes a person just has to go out and have a little fun. I had no way of knowing anything out of the ordinary was going to happen with Emma today. The same thing would have happened had I gone to business meetings all day."
"This isn't about Emma, Olivia."
"Then what is it about?"
Natalia shook her head and looked down at her hands. Sometimes she just wanted to grab Olivia and shake some sense into her. She looked over at the woman who was staring intently at her with eyes filled with emotion. God, she was beautiful. Natalia gritted her teeth and stood up. She needed distance from those beautiful, intense eyes so she could think.
"I thought we were sitting," Olivia said, leaning back and opening her arms against the back of the couch to clearly point out how well she was sitting.
"You are," Natalia said firmly and began pacing the room. "I'm standing."
"Suite yourself," Olivia said and settled back on the couch like sitting there was the best decision she'd ever made.
"Why do I always feel like I'm battling you, Olivia? Why does everything feel like a fight? Why are you always fighting me? I'm tired of it, and I thought we were over it. But now, today, I suddenly feel like I don't know you anymore."
"I'm not fighting you. I'm just sitting here."
"Everything's a joke to you, isn't it?" Olivia stayed silent as Natalia stopped pacing and sat back on the couch. "Why was Doris Wolfe really here today? I know when you're not telling the truth," she raised an eyebrow, "whether I always let on or not, and that story about the trial was about as transparent as that window over there." She gestured to the nearest window.
Olivia looked toward the window without thinking. The day looked cold and gray. Despite the gravity of her current situation, she couldn't help but momentarily feel warm and safe here in the farmhouse with Natalia next to her. Even though things were far from perfect at the moment, she felt the desire to freeze time. She never wanted to leave the farmhouse. She never wanted to leave Natalia's side.
"Olivia? Please tell me. Is something going on between you and the mayor?"
Olivia looked away from the window, confused by Natalia's words. "What do you mean?"
Natalia's eyes darted around the room uncomfortably. "You know… I mean, well, first you saw her at a gay bar. I still don't quite know what you were doing there. And then you decided we should blackmail her about it. But it wasn't really like blackmail. It was almost silly. She didn't believe for a second we'd actually out her to the whole city, but she still moved Philip's trial forward. Why did she do that? And today I walk in to see you two drinking together in our living room like you're old friends. What am I supposed to think, Olivia? You've been acting strange lately and maybe this is the explanation for it."
"No. Hell, no!" Olivia made an executive decision to stop sitting. "Natalia, do you honestly think I would want to be with Doris Wolfe? When I have… when I barely know her?" She threw up her arms and waved them a round a bit. "I'm not gay! I told you why I was in that bar. I wanted a drink, that's all."
Natalia still looked concerned, but relief seemed to have calmed her a bit. "Oh. Well, good." She paused, collecting her thoughts.
"Good." Olivia agreed and plopped back down on the couch.
"Good that you're not with Doris, I mean. That would have been… strange."
"Ya think?" Olivia said with a sharp laugh. After a moment's pause Natalia laughed a little too.
"I'm not sure I could have watched that without getting creeped out," Natalia said lightly and nudged Olivia in the arm playfully.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Olivia said, attempting to put a hint of humor in her voice but failing. She closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch. Sobriety was starting to hit her hard. The world felt so heavy.
"Today has been a very… surreal day," Natalia said.
"Surreal. That's a good word for it." Olivia replied, her eyes still closed. "That's a good word for my day, anyway. I'd think your day would have better adjectives like happy and joyous and... super neato. In fact," her eyes popped open and she turned her head to look over at Natalia, "why are you even here? I know I wouldn't be sitting with a friend on the night I accepted a marriage proposal."
"Everything's been so crazy lately. I just wanted to come home," Natalia said, feeling deflated as she leaned back close to Olivia. She wanting to lean on her, to find some strength from her, but she kept some space between them. It was space that didn't feel right, but somehow felt necessary. "Today was a very happy day, of course. Frank and his family were so happy."
"And what about you?"
"Me?" Natalia asked with genuine questioning in her voice. She felt like she'd just been riding the tides of the day, being pushed from one event to the next without thoughts of her own. She hadn't even thought about herself all day. Thinking about what she really wanted was too much, too confusing. "I'm just tired, right now. All the excitement wore me out."
"I'm tired too," Olivia said, allowing the question to go unanswered. There had been enough arguing for one day. "I think I'm going up to bed," she said, moving her body reluctantly forward.
A hand touched her shoulder and pulled her back gently before she could get up. "No. Just… stay down here for a little while?" Natalia said, as she linked their arms and rested her head on Olivia's shoulder. "I just need you here for a minute," she said, praying Olivia would just be quiet and let her have this moment without question or discussion or argument.
Olivia froze for a moment, closing her eyes to brace against the emotions and feelings that swept through her body at Natalia's touch. "Of course," she said with a shaky voice, "anything." She leaned back and Natalia settled herself closer. "Anything for you," she said and placed a feather-light kiss on Natalia's head.