Harm stood at the stove stirring the linguine and checking the timer for the bread. He shut off the burner for the pasta and brought the pot over to the sink to drain it when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at the clock above the stove and smiled to himself. Mac was here.

When Harm got to the door he didn't hesitate to swing it open. What he saw was a very beautiful Sarah MacKenzie looking fantastic even in casual clothing. He never tired of seeing her in regular clothes and tonight was no exception. Harm loved how she had been wearing her hair longer and that's how she had it tonight. The color of her sweater brought out different shades of brown in her eyes that he'd never seen before. The sweater clung to her midsection showing off her flat and toned stomach. Her jeans hung to her in all the right places and the slight heel to her brown boots brought two more inches of her face into Harm's line of sight.

"You look…fabulous." He extended his hand and took her arm to lead her into the apartment. Mac smiled in hopes to stall due to the lack of communication her brain was having with her mouth.

When Harm opened the door, she knew she had never seen anything sexier. His hair was uncombed and in different directions, nothing like the standard Navy hairstyle, and his long sleeved black button up shirt hung down past his waist. The faded black jeans hung low on his hips, almost like they were either half a size to big or an old pair he grew out of but couldn't part with. Mac knew if she were to just reach out and lift up the hem of his shirt she would be able to see the band of his boxer-briefs sticking out above his jeans.

After a few swallows Mac managed a smile and replied, "Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself." Harm smiled his flyboy smile and reached up to help her with her coat.

Once Harm stepped behind her he reached up and gently slipped his hands under the collar of her jacket. Slowly, he moved his hands across the span of her shoulders and ever so leisurely down her sweater clad arms. When he reached her wrists, he ran his thumb in small circles over the vein of her left arm while he grabbed the right side of her jacket in his free hand. Harm knew he probably shouldn't be doing that but he just couldn't stop himself. He'd missed her while he was away and that particular case brought some perspective into his life. He finally understood how important one day could be in a person's life and he wanted to start living in the moment, especially when it came to this one woman. When Harm stopped his caress to Mac's wrists he gingerly walked his fingers into the palm of her hand before tracing the lines there.

But much to Harm's disappointment, and Mac's, he had to finish removing her coat so they could start their evening. Once Mac's coat was off and draped over the arm of the coach, Harm went back to the pasta that was still in the strainer.

Mac knew that she should be asking Harm if he needed help with anything but she couldn't stop herself from thinking what Harm had on his mind. She could still feel his fingers on her wrist and hand and it sent chills down her spine. Just the lightest touch of his hand sent electric shocks all over her body. Mac knew Harm had something up his sleeve but she wasn't quite sure as to what it was.

Before she had any more time to analyze Harm's actions she heard his voice. "Dinner is almost done Mac, if you want to take a seat at the bar." He looked over his shoulder and gave her a small smile as he watched her take a seat before continuing with the dinner duties.

After a few minutes of setting their plates and pouring their drinks, Harm took his seat across from Mac at the bar. Harm really didn't make anything all that spectacular for dinner but Mac telling him the pasta and bread were delicious brought a smile to his face.

Mac thought about letting Harm bring up the real reason why he wanted to have dinner on the special holiday but she knew the longer she waited the more she would analyze it. Mustering up all of the courage she could, she trudged ahead.

"So Harm, what makes this 'holiday' so special for you?" Mac knew that Harm could answer her in one of two ways, either the safe way or the truth.

"Well in case you didn't know, today is Mother's Day." Harm looked up at her in an attempt to catch some sort of vibe from her. Unfortunately, Mac wasn't giving away anything. Harm was going to have to spill whatever was occupying his mind in order to get a read on her.

Mac smiled slightly then replied, "Yes Harm, I know today is Mother's Day. But I don't see how that has any relevance to me."

Without a second thought, Harm reached across the countertop and took her hand in his. He turned her hand over, palm side up, and began to lightly trace the lines on her hand. For just a minute, they were both lost in the moment and the way their heartbeats accelerated at even the slightest touch.

When Harm finally spoke, his voice was just below a whisper. "I know that you're not a mother yet, but someday you will be. So this is like a pre-Mother's Day dinner. Besides, I just wanted to spend some time with you, okay?"

Subconsciously Mac rested a hand on her stomach. Both she and Harm knew that her chances of conceiving were slim to none but she didn't know why Harm would choose to bring that up.

"Harm that's not funny." Mac's voice was laced with feelings she hadn't felt all night, anger, pain and hurt.

Harm had a feeling she would react like this but he was quick to put her at ease. After taking his napkin from his lap and placing it on the side of his plate, Harm stood up and walked around the bar to take a seat next to Mac. He took her hands in his then spoke.

"Mac, look at me." Mac lifted her head at Harm's command and almost lost it. The love and sincerity in his eyes was enough to make her melt. Her eyes filled with tears, tears for her and tears for him. Tears for the life she knew she wanted and tears for the fear that she isn't good enough for him.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Mac. I just…I just want you to be happy." Harm paused long enough to wipe a tear from Mac's cheek. "I know that someday you will be happy with someone and I know that you will become a mother somehow. That's all I meant by it."

Mac sniffled quickly then dried her tears. "I'm sorry, Harm. I didn't mean to ruin our dinner."

"It's not ruined, we just took a little detour that's all." Harm smiled to show her everything would be okay. Once Mac nodded her head in agreement, the pair went back to eating their semi-cold dinners.

The rest of their meal was eaten in a comfortable silence. Harm's thoughts were focused on a topic he hadn't brought up yet while Mac's thoughts became self-centered, in a sense.

Whenever Mac thought about her future it was always one of two things, the same as her life now or chaotic. When Mac was having a bad day, she rarely ever seen a husband and children in her future. It was always a vision of the headstrong Marine either still at JAG or at a new command post and every night she went home to an empty apartment.

But on the night's where she was feeling hopeful, her future brightened. It was what Mac referred to as her happy place. She would stay at home with the two kids while Harm worked a regular civilian job and have more of a flexible schedule for his wife and kids. Mac's home would be filled with laughter and music instead of being lonely and dark.

After the pair finished their meal Mac offered to help clean the dinner dishes before they made more from the soon to be eaten desserts. Once the dishes were collected and scraped, Mac rolled up her sleeves and started to fill the sink.

"Can I have that?" Harm asked.

Mac crinkled her brow with confusion. "Have what?"

"That," Harm pointed to the hair tie on Mac's wrist.

"Harm, your hair isn't long enough for you to need this."

Harm smiled at the joke. "I know my hair isn't long enough, but could you please just give it to me?" For added effect he stuck out his lower lip and with that Mac couldn't help but to laugh and cave in.

"Why do you need it?"

Harm smiled to himself. "You'll see." Harm was standing behind Mac while she reached over to shut the faucet off. Normally, her Marine senses would tell her that Harm was standing right behind her, but her mind was too preoccupied to realize it.

Once Mac was standing, Harm reached up and softly ran his fingers through Mac's hair. He started at the part on the top of her head before gingerly combing his fingers through the hair just above her ears and ending at the base of her neck where he wrapped her hair in a loose ponytail.

Harm stepped to Mac's side at the sink to gauge her reaction and was slightly surprised to see her with her eyes closed. Harm placed one hand at the small of her back while he stood there waiting for her to open her eyes.

After a few short moments, Mac opened her eyes and looked at Harm before speaking with just a hint of wonder. "What was that all about?"

Harm looked deeply into her eyes and sugar coated his answer. "Well, your hair would've been in your face while you leaned over to wash the dishes. And your hands would've been wet and soapy so you wouldn't have been able to tie it back yourself. I just figured I'd do it for you."

"Thank you," Mac whispered as she tried to hold back her tears. She didn't know what it was about tonight but her emotions were jumping all over the place and she didn't know how to control them. If Mac were to be honest with her self she would know the reason for her emotions going haywire is because of the man standing next to her. But pretending to be in denial was easier than admitting the truth to herself.

In an effort to comfort Mac, Harm started to gently rub slow circles up and down the span of her back. He truly didn't mean to make her cry, if anything he just wanted to make her happy. He leaned over and place a soft, lingering kiss on her temple the rested his forehead on her shoulder.

Harm knew he was being more forward with his feelings toward Mac than normal but he just couldn't help himself. He had a revelation of sorts a few days ago and ever since then his mind has just been focusing on the most important person in his life…Sarah MacKenzie.

Finally, Harm couldn't take it anymore. He had to tell Mac what was on his mind. Without a word, he removed himself from Mac's side, placed all the dishes in the sink and grabbed Mac by the hand and pulled her into the living room. He'd been waiting long enough to say this and now, even though it wasn't the best setting, the mood was right.

Taking a deep breath he began. "Mac…"

Part 4

Mac looked up at Harm from her seat on the couch. She wasn't sure why he pulled her into the living room but she knew something wasn't quite right with him. She watched in thought as he paced back and forth in front of her in an agitated state.

If Mac was going to be honest with her self, she wished they were back the kitchen standing at the sink, his head on her shoulder with his hand on her back. Even in that stance, she felt so completely safe and content with him at her side. She'd always felt safe with him but lately the safety-ness she'd felt when she was by his side was so much stronger than it was before.

All of her feelings for him had been stronger than normal, too. When he was away on his case she missed him like crazy. She didn't just miss seeing him at JAG, she missed seeing his smile, and she missed their dinners and conversations about absolutely nothing.

But more than anything Mac missed his attentiveness towards her. She missed how she would catch him looking at her from across the bullpen and how he'd place his hand at the small of her back when they walked side by side. She missed how he would bring her a coffee from her favorite coffee shop every morning, cream and two sugars, just the way she liked it.

Before Mac was able to continue with her thoughts, she felt the cushion she was sitting on dip towards her right. When she turned her head she was face to face with Harm.

"Harm? What's the matter?" Harm had a piercing, determined look in his eyes and he was focused on Mac and Mac only.

"There's something I want to talk to you about." After a few seconds of staring into Mac's eyes, Harm leaned back against the couch and turned so he was facing her. He reached over and took her hands in his then rested their hands on his lap.

This was it, the ball of something that had been in Mac's stomach started to tighten. She knew what ever it was that Harm had to tell her would finally come out. She was scared and nervous and she couldn't seem to figure out why.

"The case really got to me, Mac." Harm's voice was low and soft, like only she was meant to here his words. "After Petty Officer Harris was found innocent of the murder charges, I asked him if he wanted to use my cell phone so he could call someone back home and tell them the good news. He just looked at me funny for a moment and said, 'I have no one to call, Sir.'"

Harm dropped his head and focused on their hands while he replayed the memory. "At first I thought I was hearing things because all throughout the investigation he kept telling me how he couldn't wait to call his best friend when it was all over and give her the news that he was innocent and it was all just some big misunderstanding."

Mac sat in silence too afraid that if she said anything he would stop his story and what he was going to tell her would be kept to himself.

"I didn't ask him what happened because I didn't feel that was the appropriate thing to do but he told me anyway. The Petty Officer said he didn't have anyone to call because his parents were out of town and his best friend past away during the trial. He said she died of a brain aneurysm at the age of twenty-five."

Harm paused for a few seconds in an effort to get his bearings. What he had to say wasn't the difficult part, how Mac would react is the part he didn't want to think about. But he knew he couldn't hold it in any longer so he trudged ahead.

"The Petty Officer told me a lot about his best friend and their relationship and it reminded me of us." With that comment, Harm lifted his head back up and looked lovingly at Mac. All of his feelings were showing brightly in his eyes, all she had to do was look hard enough and she would see them.

"They would do anything for the other, whenever one needed someone to talk to they always went to the other and they spent all of their free time together, much like you and me."

"But the one difference between us and them, was that they never had the opportunity to pursue anything other than friendship. And I would love to have a future with you, Mac. I'd love to make you happy, and make you feel safe and content and all of the other feelings I have when I'm with you but that can only happen if you want me too."

Mac couldn't help herself from tearing up at Harm's confession. She knew what she wanted but the ever-present war between her heart and her head were confusing her. If she listened to her heart she would be in his arms kissing the life out of him. But if she listened to her head she would tell him that she needed to think before making any quick decisions.

After a few short moments Mac's inner battle ceased after she made her decision between her heart and her head.

"I-I'm not really sure what to say or what it is you want me to say, Harm." Mac pulled her hands out of Harm's and that's when he knew her answer before she even spoke. "I know how I feel and what I want but I still have so many problems and insecurities to work through before I can answer you. I'm sorry, Harm."

Mac made an attempt to stand up but Harm put his hand out to stop her. He took one of her hands and placed it gently over his heart. He held it there for a moment or so, giving her the opportunity to feel his hollow heartbeat and allowing him the time to try and compose himself.

After a few more seconds, Harm looked deeply into Mac's eyes. "I tried to make the feelings stop but I couldn't do it, Mac. I didn't like how empty I felt when I hid them and looked the other way because I thought that's what you wanted me to do."

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop his eyes from becoming glossy with tears. With one hand holding Mac's hand to his heart, he used his free one to cup her cheek. "Just tell me that it's okay to have these feelings for you. Tell me that I'm not waiting around for something that's never going to happen."

Mac couldn't help the tear that escaped down her cheek. She tried to keep them at bay but seeing Harm so emotionally disheveled because of her made her want to cry. She hated doing this to him but she knew it was for the right reasons. She wouldn't be able to handle it if she jumped into a relationship with him just to have it fall apart because of her insecurities.

"It is okay to have those feelings, Harm. But I don't know if I can answer you about waiting around. I want to be able to tell you that everything will be okay and we'll live happily ever after but I can't because I don't see that happening yet. I have so many things I have to work through and think about. It's not fair for you to be waiting around for me."

Harm didn't quite believe what he was hearing. He thought she would be happy about him finally telling her how he felt but that didn't seem to be the case. Part of him wanted to talk her into a relationship with him and forget about all of the bad stuff. But the other part knew that if they were going to have a healthy relationship that she needed to work through whatever was bothering her.

"It's getting late, I think I should go." This time when Mac stood to leave Harm stood wither her. Harm grabbed her coat from the arm of the chair and walked her to the door before helping her put it on.

"Thank you for dinner, Harm. It was delicious. We'll have to have that desert some other time." Harm nodded his head in response before opening up the door.

"Would you like me to walk you to your car?" Harm knew she was going to say know but he really didn't want to say goodnight to her.

"No, thank you anyway." Mac didn't know where to look. She tried to avert his eyes at all costs because she was too afraid of what she'd see in them.

"Mac, do you have any plans for next weekend?" Harm didn't know what got into him but for some reason he just had to ask her.

Mac paused slightly unsure of where this would be going but answered honestly. "No, I don't have any plans." She kept her head down in slight embarrassment.

"Would you like to come with me to my grand-mothers farm for the weekend? My mom's flying in for the weekend and I was going to visit with them. I was supposed to this weekend for Mothers Day but I had the case."

Mac wasn't sure what to think. The thought of spending time with him sounded very appealing, even after what happened tonight. But she didn't want to spoil his time with his family so she told him so.

"Mac, you wouldn't be spoiling anything. My grandmother wants to meet you and I'm my mother would too. Besides," Harm stopped to reach out two fingers and lift Mac's chin so she was looking at him. His voice became low then he finished, "I want you to be there."

One look into his eyes told Mac that he was serious. "Okay Harm, I'll go." He smiled softly at her then told her he'd give her more details during the week. Harm cupped her cheek and started to rub slow circle on her cheekbone before planting a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Good night, Mac," he whispered. She whispered good night and was making her way down the hallway before Harm had time to blink. Harm knew he didn't scare her away, she just needed to get out of there. He was sure she was tired, after all, she seemed like she had been riding an emotional roller coaster.

After walking to the window to make sure Mac made it to her car safely, harm shut off all the lights then laid down for a restless sleep. His mind was too focused on Mac and this upcoming weekend to give him any rest.