Thanks to everyone who commented! The traffic feature was down so I couldn't tell if anyone was reading, so I nearly gave it up. Thanks for the boost! =D Enjoy the story, let me know if it's too cliche, and try to catch the little hint for the future. ; )
Dear Diary, September 10th, 6th Year
Today I was lovingly woken by Alice when her beautiful voice began shrieking at me while her delicate fingers threw overstuffed pillows at my head. Obviously, I wish I could be woken like this every day of my life. It went something like this:
"LILY RENEE EVANS! WAKE UP THIS ISTANT!" I rolled over in an attempt to tune her out but apparently wands can be used to lift you out of the bed.
"ALICE! PUT ME DOWN! YOU KNOW I AM TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS!" Finally, Alice plopped me on the floor as our fellow sixth year girls looked on. "What were you doing?"
"Did you really think you could hide it from me?"
"Hide what?" I snapped back in confusion. It was too early to be interrogated. The other girls had sat up on their beds, eager to hear the latest gossip. Not that any of them would tell anyone; we're the sixth year Gryffindor girls—we wouldn't betray each other.
"About what happened in Potions stupid!"
"With Potter being a git?" I asked.
"He wasn't being a git," Alice replied. "I know what really happened!"
"And what 'really' happened?"
"Well," Mary Macdonald began, "I got this letter this morning from Sirius." She held up a torn piece of parchment that was covered with scribbles, a large majority of them crossed out. Mary has been dating Sirius on and off over summer break since they live near each other. I'm not really surprised they have been; she's always been into those types of guys. You know the slightly-dangerous, amazingly-hot, owns-a-motorcycle types.
"Go ahead and read it," she said, standing up to bring it to me. I took it from her hand, giving Alice a quizzical look.
"I already know what it says. I'm sure you'd like to."
Here's a transcript of the letter:
Dear Evans,
I had this sent to Mary because Remus didn't think you'd take an owl from our dorm. James made me write this I wrote this to explain about what I said in Potions, even though it was true and James knows he wants to. The remark was pretty bloody funny uncalled for and I shouldn't have made it. James is stalking in the corner upset you won't speak to him or even gave him a chance to explain. Please, for the sake of everyone who was kept up last night by the sound of his tears James, talk to him again. He was already messed up because you had spoken to him for a few hours but now aren't having a bad day because his dog died in a fight with a werewolf complete change in personality because of you. I'm his best mate and I had never seen him so happy. Siriusly Seriously, in all siriusness seriousness, please meet James in the empty class room on the first floor near the Great Hall before breakfast this morning to snog talk.
Black
PS-James also wants me to tell you Perhaps you two can hang out together during your break period this morning after breakfast
"This is, um…"
"Perfect!" Alice exclaimed. "It's been one day and you're already driving him bonkers! Our plan is going to work!" Alice pumped her fist into the air while the other girls looked confused.
"What plan?" Mary finally asked. I wasn't going to say anything but obviously Alice thinks very differently from how I do, so she told her.
"Ooooh!" went the dorm. Can they not find something better to do in the morning? "We can so help!" Mary declared.
"Oh my gosh! You're right!" Alice said, her eyes widening. "We have someone on the inside—Mary!"
Mary's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Oh, I know I can help. Sirius isn't exactly bright."
"Hey, be happy you got the hottest guy in the school," one of the other girls said from the bathroom.
"I am," Mary said innocently, "He makes a great snogger."
"Oh, ew! No one wants to hear that Mary!" I squealed.
"Why are you still talking Lily? You need to get dressed! You need to go meet Potter!" Alice screamed. Really, she needs to chill out more in the morning.
"I want to help!" Mary reached for her trunk, digging around for something. She ended up pulling out a huge make up kit. I tried not to cry.
"Really, that isn't necessary," I said, putting up my hands and backing away.
"She's really good at make-up," Alice explained. "I'll write a note in return to tell him that you'll be there."
With a sigh, I realized that the fight was futile; I let them have their way. By the end I had to hand it to them though; Mary was pretty good at it. I put my uniform on and curled my hair a little bit. I didn't want to go too overboard.
The Common Room wasn't too full when I was down there, but those who were there looked half asleep. They didn't acknowledge me, except for Remus, who was by the bulletin board.
"Going to meet James?"
"Ya….I supposed I should." I kicked a gobstone that was on the ground in thought.
"I hope the letter wasn't too horrible. I tried to keep a close eye on it but then Sirius locked himself in the closet." Remus gave me a weak smile.
"I have to go," I replied abruptly. I didn't want to be around Remus suddenly. He made me feel so guilty about what I was doing, even if he didn't know. I wouldn't be surprised if he did know though. I turned and walked out of the Common Room, trying to ignore the Fat Lady's comments.
I reached the empty classroom Potter had mentioned, and I peeked in the small window before going in there. He was bent over a desk, looking at something. I silently walked in, tip-toeing my way over to him. When I was right behind him I leaned over so that my head would be close to his ears. "James?" I asked, causing him to jump. "What do you want with me?"
James flung himself around so that our faces would be only a few inches apart. "To apologize for everything that happened yesterday in Potions." His voice was low and I couldn't help but notice that it was rather deep.
"Apologize for wanting to snog me?" Oh, I was going to play games with him. He was going to be so confused.
"Evans, I never-"
"Lily. And I know you want to. I've always known." I tried not to blush; this was like one of those horrible novels Petunia would read.
To my shock, James leaned in to kiss me! KISS ME! As if I would let him! I took a step back, and James looked crestfallen. "You don't even know me," I explained, "Why would I just let you kiss me?"
"I do know you! I know you like to wake up early when no one else is up and that you like learning new charms and that you have never been to a Quidditch match or-"
"You don't know me at all James. I recommend you start learning." I turn and walked out, expecting to go to breakfast. Instead I felt a hand on my arm.
"Lily, I know how I can get to know you." This is when I started to feel bad, really bad. I've never seen him look that way or act this seriously. His eyes were HUGE and I felt like he was desperate, that he would do anything. Why did he have to look so…hopeful?
"Oh?" I asked, not trusting myself to say anything more.
"Follow me. Neither of us have a class this morning, so what's the harm in it?" I realized his hand was still on my arm.
"Fine.'' I gently removed his hand from my arm. "What are we doing?"
"You'll see. Just follow me." And in total shock, I followed James Potter against the crowd of students. What was I doing? I caught Alice's eye in the hall, she was with Mary, and she didn't help much by winking at me.
Twenty minutes later, I found myself eating breakfast with James in something called the 'Room of Requirement'. Apparently, if you thought about something you wanted it would appear there. James had made a nice little table appear with some delicious looking food (I'm not really sure how that worked) and let me decide how to decorate it. I had it decorated to look relaxing, but elegant at the same time. It was really quite pretty.
"So…" I said, after we had sat in silence for too long eating. It was rather awkward.
"So?"
"Well, I'm trying to start a conversation but evidently I'm failing."
"Oh." James chewed thoughtfully on his breakfast before speaking again. "Well, why do you never go to Quidditch matches?"
I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment and I knew it had to look lovely against my red hair. "Well, I'm rather afraid of heights you see."
"You aren't on the broom though."
"See, I, um, well… I hate walking up those steps to the stands. I hate watching the people in the air." I laughed bitterly. "What type of Gryffindor am I? Unable to master a few stairs."
James looked surprised, but did a good job trying to hide it. I have to give credit where credit is due. "So? Everyone's afraid of something. For example, I'm terrified of…of…"
"See! You aren't scared of anything; you're a real Gryffindor!" I exclaimed, happy to prove my point.
"I'm scared of losing those I'm close to," James said softly. I small gasp escaped my lips; since when was James nice? I was starting to regret doing this. I was starting to regret everything. But I had already started so I couldn't turn back now could I? What would the girls think of me? How could I break the heart of someone who feared losing people? Was I that much of a monster?
"I have to go. I have to leave. I'm sorry James, I'm really sorry." I hopped out of the seat and ran away. I ran for a long time, I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I am a wimp. I am a coward. I'm not a Gryffindor.
I'm currently hiding out in this empty room I found. I've missed all my classes. It's lunch time now.
Lily the Coward
Dear Lily, Sept. 10th, Our Sixth Year
It has been really awkward in our dormitory. Padfoot and I didn't speak last night and this morning Moony made us sit down for a "mature discussion". Does he not know us by now?
"Padfoot, Prongs," Moony began, "You guys are friends. Don't let some girl come in between you."
"She isn't just 'some girl'! You should know that by now!" I exclaimed.
Sirius gave me a stare; it looked like pity and amusement mixed together. "Mate, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but have you ever thought that she doesn't feel the same way for you? You've been chasing her for years; maybe you should find someone new."
"No, no, no!" I jumped up in frustration. How can they not see it Lily? I know you love me, even if it very deeply hidden. "I'll win her over, you'll see!"
Moony looked thoughtful. "Why don't you ask her to meet you Prongs? Have Padfoot send the letter though to Mary so that Lily will believe it more." Mary is Padfoot's on-again, off-again girlfriend.
"I'll do it James," Sirius said. I knew he felt bad we had fought. I felt pretty bad too.
"Thanks Sirius. Marauders?"
"You're stuck with me," he replied, grinning. I didn't expect Sirius to write a perfect letter-I know him better than that-so I didn't argue too much with what he wrote but did demand that some things got crossed out. He said that writing a masterpiece takes time and locked himself in the closest so that we couldn't bug him.
Here's the letter:
Dear Evans,
I had this sent to Mary because Remus didn't think you'd take an owl from our dorm. James made me write this I wrote this to explain about what I said in Potions, even though it was true and James knows he wants to. The remark was pretty bloody funny uncalled for and I shouldn't have made it. James is stalking in the corner upset you won't speak to him or even gave him a chance to explain. Please, for the sake of everyone who was kept up last night by the sound of his tears James, talk to him again. He was already messed up because you had spoken to him for a few hours but now aren't having a bad day because his dog died in a fight with a werewolf complete change in personality because of you. I'm his best mate and I had never seen him so happy. Siriusly Seriously, in all siriusness seriousness, please meet James in the empty class room on the first floor near the Great Hall before breakfast this morning to snog talk.
Black
PS-James also wants me to tell you Perhaps you two can hang out together during your break period this morning after breakfast
"That looks good," I told Sirius. I clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry for over reacting mate."
"I'm sorry for making that comment," Sirius replied, "I should know by now that Evans is off limits to jokes.
Remus smiled. "And to think you nearly let Evans come between the two most mischievous pranksters Hogwarts has ever known."
I refrained from jumping up and down in excitement. "C'mon! Send the letter already! I can't wait!"
"Ok, ok," Sirius said, laughing. He walked over to the window and tapped his wand to the parchment, muttering a spell as he did so. It fluttered outside and to the Girls' Dorm.
It felt like it took forever to get a reply back. I paced the room in hopes that it would come soon, but it didn't speed anything up. Peter tried to cheer me up by offering me some Chocolate Frogs but I just wasn't in the mood.
Finally the paper came flapping back into the room. Sirius picked it up and slowly unfolded it but I couldn't take it any longer; I tackled Sirius to the ground and took the paper myself.
"SHE'S GOING TO BE THERE! LILY'S GOING! LILY'S GOING TO MEET ME!" I danced around the dorm, before freezing. "Crap! I need to get going! Do I look fine?" I ran my hand thru my hair nervously. It's a nervous habit.
"Just go Prongs!" Sirius said, shoving me out the door.
I was the first one to the classroom. I was pacing the room, looking around, trying not to let my nerves show. Something was scribbled on a desk. I leaned over, taking my wand out to eliminate the area. Was that a Dark-?
"James?" you whispered into my ear. "What do you want with me?"
I spun around "To apologize for everything that happened yesterday in Potions." We were so close together. I never realized how close in height we are, how your nose is just below mine.
"Apologize for wanting to snog me?" You had a small smile on your face, but I still felt the need to defend myself.
"Evans, I never-"
"Lily. And I know you want to. I've always known." I think my mouth fell open. You seemed to be inviting me, the way you smiled, bending your head forward as a wisp of hair fell into your face. So I did what any man would have done in that situation; I tried to kiss you.
"You don't even know me," you explained, "Why would I just let you kiss me?" I can't believe I went in for the kiss. How stupid am I? The whole reason I was there was about NOT wanting to snog you!
"I do know you! I know you like to wake up early when no one else is up and that you like learning new charms and that you have never been to a Quidditch match or-" I said, trying to get you to see how much I know you. Lily, I know everything about you.
"You don't know me at all James. I recommend you start learning." Lily, you are one big headache…I wouldn't change it for the world. That's why I reached out to stop you.
"Lily, I know how I can get to know you." It wasn't much of a plan, and I hadn't really fully thought it through, but it was the best I had. The most I had to go on. You stopped though and seemed interested.
"Oh?"
"Follow me. Neither of us have a class this morning, so what's the harm in it?" My hand was still on your arm, and I couldn't help but like the feel of it.
"Fine.'' You removed my hand from your arm, but you agreed! "What are we doing?"
"You'll see. Just follow me." I started off down the hall, through the crowd of students heading to breakfast. I saw Moony dragging Padfoot away. Thank Merlin I have someone who is smart enough to take Padfoot away from you and I!
When we had reached the Room of Requirement, I explained to you how it worked. I opened the door, where in the center sat a simple table covered with extravagant breakfast food. I let you in decorate Lily, and it really showed me a lot about you.
You gave the room this really simple feel, as if you wanted it fancy but comfortable at the same time. There were really elegant paintings up, but the way they hung crookedly with quotes lining the wall let me know what you felt. I put this in the back of my mind so I could come back and visit again later.
We had been eating awkwardly for a while, and finally you broke the silence. Who knew I was shy? "So…"
"So?" Really smooth of me, wasn't it?
"Well, I'm trying to start a conversation but evidently I'm failing." Congrats Evans, you made me laugh.
"Oh." I thought about what to say, so I obviously thought of Quidditch. "Well, why do you never go to Quidditch matches?"
You blushed! As if you couldn't get any cuter! "Well, I'm rather afraid of heights you see."
"You aren't on the broom though." Gaa! I really need to think of better things to say.
"See, I, um, well… I hate walking up those steps to the stands. I hate watching the people in the air. What type of Gryffindor am I? Unable to master a few stairs."
This really shocked me, but I didn't let it show. I'm pretty good at not showing emotions. It's a guy thing. "So? Everyone's afraid of something. For example, I'm terrified of…of…"
"See! You aren't scared of anything; you're a real Gryffindor!" Lily, you really need to give people a chance to think before jumping to conclusions.
I can't believe I said what I'm about to write. "I'm scared of losing those I'm close to." You gasped Lily. Shocked that I have emotions? Or shocked that I have a heart? Which was it?
"I have to go. I have to leave. I'm sorry James, I'm really sorry." You jumped up and ran away!
"WAIT! LILY!" I called after you. You were out the door and down the hall; I tore after you. "LILY!" You were gone.
I'm looking for Sirius now. He has the Map. I need it so I can find you. Could you not be such an emotional girl? Thanks.
More later after I find you,
James